MAD LOVE

by alinova

This is a collection of the Harley x Joker roleplays my girlfriend and I have done. Please keep in mind that these are two people roleplaying with each other so it doesn't always mould together seamlessly and the writing style varies because it's not all written by the same person. Anyway, enjoy. I do not own the rights to Suicide Squad, the DCEU or characters beyond my OCs.

1. One: Date Night

Tonight, was supposed to be date night. Of course, it wasn't openly called that by her green haired lover, but thats what she knew it to be, and thats what she referred it to as. Not that he seemed to care. Harley was bouncing about the apartment, ecstatic as can be and excited to spend the night with her Puddin'. She had bounced out of their shared bedroom, knowing Joker was waiting in the living area of their apartment, the girl dressed up in a pretty little gold dress with the new jewelry that he'd bought her scattered about her body, countless necklaces around her neck, rings on her fingers, bracelts on her wrists. She grinned widely as she skipped over to him, throwing her arms around his neck, her blonde, blue and pink hair curled into little pretty ringlets. "Oh Mistah Jjjj~" She sing songed as she basically wrapped her tiny body around his larger one, eyes wide with delight. "I'm reaaady~" She detatched herself for the moment, doing a little twirl to shower her tattooed self off to him, just to put on a little show in some attempt to get approval. "Do 'ya like it, puddin'?"

Joker stood with his back to that huge (ginormous, even) goddamn fireplace his harlequin had whined and begged him for in the days before they'd bought the apartment. Felt like a little bit'a home, she'd said. Right. All it was now was a distinct pain in his back, and a literal one at that. The only pain he was used to having in his back was his very own Harley, and even then she usually massaged out the kinks and tensions. He took a sip of whatever it was in his glass and surveyed her in silence. Deliberately, he took the time to swish the drink about in his mouth and to gargle it as if it were mouthwash. He raised his eyebrows at Harley a little, letting her believe for a moment that he was going to spit it up all over her and her brand... new... dahrESS. Nope. Think again, sweet little doll. Joker turned at the last moment to his right and sprayed the alcohol all over the nearest henchmen. The moment his mouth was free again he tipped his head back and laughed that insane, mad laugh of his, clutching at his chest he'd found it so very funny. Just like that he switched it up again. Never one to let go of the element of insanity and surprise, he dragged a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at his mouth as if he were a dainty little cartoon character. He brandished it to the side and threw it away from him as if he had just presented it as a trick to his magician's act. J took up Harley in his arms and started to waltz her about the apartment, humming a madly distorted version of 'Swan Lake' by Tchaikovsky. Oh, how well behaved his doll was for him - always playing her part, always... rewarding him. He supposed it was her turn to expect the same,

"Aaaalmost as beautiful as me, peaches!" He exclaimed and then pouted as if he were insulted, "Could it be enough to knock me off the beauty queen top spot? Well, Harls?" J expected her to play along, of course. She always did.

Harley had almost pouted when she thought he'd cover her new outfit in the alcohol, but was more than excited when he took her back up in his arms. She burst into her own little giggles, the noises eerily creepy despite the happiness that bounced behind them. "Oh puddin," She cooed, leaning her body up to lightly peck his pale cheek. "Nobody could knock you off the beauty queen top spottt~" Her words were light and playful, though a hint of truth layered itself beneath it. In Harley's eyes, there would never be any other living person who was as beautiful as her Joker, her Mistah J. He had his quirks, and not everyone saw the beauty in him like she did, but she loved him. Every little thing about him, and while most cringed at the sound of his cackle light laughter, Harley marveled in the sound. It was like music to her, and she would always see it that way, she was sure. The smaller of the two clung onto him, her head tipped back so she could gaze up into his eyes. Her J looked real nice and cleaned up tonight, dressed up in one of his fancy suits and his hair was, as usual, perfect and pristine. "Where are we goin tonight, puddin?" She asked him curiously, he probably mentioned it to her earlier, but at this point, she'd forgotten, caught up in the very idea that they were going out. Of course there was very few moments that they were apart, she didn't think Joker much liked it when she was gone for too long, and she didn't like it either, but usually, it wasn't just them time. There was usually always business or fighting going on.

Joker sighed dramatically and took a hold of one of her hands, holding it to his chest. He cupped her cheek and drew his face nearer to hers, speaking to her as if she were a child now - pouting with his words to make her feel sorry for him. It always worked.

"Now, pooh. Tonight's gonna be aaaaall about perspective, y'see? Rooms and rooms full of people but they're not real, now, are they, Harley?" J shook his head to indicate to her what the answer should be, "And that is why, my dear, we are real. We're goin' to the club, baby, 'cause Daddy's got some business to take care of." Joker gave her a toothy, almost delirious grin and clapped her on the shoulders, "You gonna be a good girl, Harley?" He asked, his tone dropping oh so slightly to become menacing as he stared her down. Joker cocked his head at her, gaze almost steely. For him, the night didn't at all just SCREAM of romance until there was some kind of crime or mischief or grand scheme to it all. Harley was practically the only person he registered as an actual person other than Batman, anyway - so he hadn't been lying.

A pout came across the girls lips, Harley gazing up at him with her pouty lips as he spoke to her and touched her, giving her the little bit of attention that she required for the moment, though she wanted much more. As he asked if she'd be good, she noted the drop in his tone, knowing that her answer would most definitely have to be yes unless she wanted to get some form of a punishment. Which she didn't want on date night. She wanted his little shows of affection. "I'll be a good girl, mistah j," She said, her voice a bit quieter than it had been in her questions before her. It did disappoint her that tonight would also involve some business that needed to be done, but she was sure they'd get to enjoy themselves anyway. They always did. "We'll still enjoy ourselves, right Puddin'?" She asked, as if seeking the reassurance that the night wouldn't be a bust for them. Or well, for her. She knew he always enjoyed his days, or well, for the most part. Especially trips to the club, because it often resulted in him having to have some form of a fight or he got to threaten people, and she knew that he loved that. It was one of the things that kept him horribly, terribly happy. Terrifyingly happy, for the most part, except for the times where the people really, really pissed him off, and that usually left him in a fairly bad mood all day. Her hands reached out to curl her fingers in his jacket, leaning her little body up into his chest, her leg lifting off the ground lightly to gaze up at him. "We'll have lots'a fun, riiiight?" She asked again. Fun usually entailed lots of drinking, even if it didn't affect Harley, and for her, lots of attention from him. Which she hoped she'd still get tonight if she behaved herself.

Joker smirked down at her, marvelling at just how...

The word 'perfect' wasn't quite suitable because (just as he was) she was irreversably damaged and broken and undeniably, rather clinically insane. Off her rocker. But the word was something because the Joker was thinking of it and J was always thinking about something - but what had he just been thinking about? It evaded him. Anyway, his Harley...

"Harley-mine, we don't come home until we've enjoyed ourselves. I'll blow up Town Hall for you if I have to..." He wriggled and twitched his nose in consideration as he stared down at her. He hadn't returned her embrace, but allowed her to cling to him as it was, after all, DATE NIGHT - and rather, he thought of something he could let her do to satisfy her and put her in that good mood that usually meant she let him fondle her during business meetings. Joker gave out a sudden, amplified 'a-hA!' and raised his finger as if a lightbulb had just gone off above his head, "Tell you what, babyface - you can use your bombs tonight!" J prized her, squeezing her cheeks between his hands just a little too hard. He patted her on the head and then scooped her up and carried her out of the apartment bridal style, with a very loud chorus of, "Ohhh, we gotta turn up the craaaaaazy~"

Harley marveled in the way he looked at her, in the way he always seemed to look at her when he wasn't mad. Joker didn't know what love was, she was fairly certain, but if he did, then, well, he would be looking at her with some sort of love. And although his squeezing to her cheeks hurt a bit, she couldn't help the smile it brought to her face. Painful or not the attention was something she craved, she needed it. When he scooped her up, Harley let out a string of laughter that had started with a squeak, her arms holding onto him carefully to help keep herself up though she kne that he would easily be able to carry her as long as he wanted. A grin was spread on her lips, eyes wide with excitement and delight. She was happy that she'd get to use her bombs, and it also made her happy that they were going to spend the night together, and he would likely end up blowing stuff up to make her in that happy mood their date nights usually put her in. She kicked her legs a little for a moment as he sung out the few lyrics, moving to nuzzle his cheek with some form of a mock innocence. "Oh Mistah J you know just how to make my night~!" She exclaimed, and, it was true. Even if it seemed like he didn't pay too much attention to her, he knew all the little things that made her happy, like blowing things up, his attention, affection, ect, but it also made it so easy for him to punish her.

Arriving at the club was always a big affair for them. Joker insisted on it and he knew Harley adored it and seeing as she was a key part to the appeal of the place, it did no harm to show her off. Emphasis on the SHOW. Not TOUCH or LEER at or FLIRT with or STARE at for too long. His Harley was his and the henchmen knew his tells well enough by now that it was just Harley and J and Mike and Neil left when they actually entered the establishment because the rest of the guys were off murdering various members of the crowd who had annoyed Joker with their gawking at his gal. He loosened his collar even as they entered and slicked back his hair. Joker rarely did it but he needed the assurance (for some doolally reason he wasn't aware of) that she was still there. Joker tugged her in front of him, making her walk with his hands on her hips from behind, an arm slithering up to coil around her chest, his hand on her neck in the absolute lightest of chokes. One he knew she would enjoy, in fact, as he was the master of their bedroom. The masses of the club soon died down to their oh-so spectacularly regal entrance and carried on with their drug fueled dancing (really, how had nobody noticed the fumes about the place). Joker pushed Harley into the VIP area ahead of him and stood up on one of the tables, right infront of her. He put a hand to his chest and used his gun as a pretend microphone,

"Doolallies and Delinquents, you probably sit around and wonder just why, oh why I called you all here today," he began in this over the top magestic voice, gesturing with the hand he'd had to his chest, "but, you see, I have none for you! Didn't you know it's date night?!" He roared all of a sudden and started his hysterical laughter. Joker crumpled from the table and landed heavily in Harley's lap in the velvety wall-long booth seat. He reached back to curl an arm around her and pinched at her cheek, having put the gun away, "Harley girl, do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?" J cooed, stroking at her cheek now J cooed, stroking at her cheek now.

Harley was beyond happy with their entrance, especially the amount of physical attention she was given upon their grand arrival. Which, included, the little choke which she adored so much. Though, she was happy to be there, sat upon their booth, one that they were often at, which made it easy for clients to seek them out during business calls. Her eyes watched as her lover stood on the table, and she admired his posture and the way he moved, admired the sound of his voice and let herself become even more in love with him. He wasn't perfect, but he was her definiton of perfection. Really messed up, with a rather interesting dash of something on the side. She let him fall into her lap, having uncrossed her legs quickly before his fall having seen it coming. She giggled at his question, leaning into his touch just a bit as she proved to enjoy it a bit far too much. As she gazed down at him, she found herself getting lost in the way that his face was made. He was so gorgeous, and Harley almost forgot that he had spoken to her. Why was a raven like a writing desk? She let out a satisfactory hum, the riddle being one of her many favorites. She quietly responded to him, "Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat." She saied quietly, before softly adding, with a bit of her outrageous laughter, "And it is never put with the wrong end in front~!" She answered happily, and moved to brush her fingers down along J's arm, until she could trace her painted finger nail along his jaw, bending her head to press a kiss to his lips. It was a brief, quick kiss, but it was a kiss none the less and Harley knew that it wouldn't be a big deal; Joker liked to do things that made it more than obvious that Harley belonged to him and only him, which was why one of their newer, new comers, was currently being slaughtered by one of his henchmen to the right. He'd been gawking at her a bit too much, and Harley kind of thought that she had heard a whistle from him too. "What can you not taste until you undress?" She recited a little riddle of her own, naturally it had more than one meaning, which caused her happy giggles as the girl moved to slick his hair back when she noticed a piece starting to stick up.

Joker groaned/growled in a manner that suggested all kinds of less than appropriate for public places type things and maneuvured their position so that she was lying along the velvety seat now, with him between her legs. He sat back on his knees and assessed her, making sure her dress covered her up properly because if there was one thing he could not stand it was others seeing the nakedness of his girlfriend. Riddles was their kind of dirty talk, and his eyes danced with the insanity behind them, far too wide and grin far too toothy and manic as he now hovered over her - hands planted either side of her head,

"Could it be the whipped cream I squirted straight from the can into your panties earlier?" J asked her in a devilishly mischievious way. The thing he probably adored about Harley the most was her ability to KEEP UP with him. Not even old Bats could do that, now, could he? No, no, no, no, NO. Joker hissed at her like the snake did to Mowgli in 'The Jungle Book' - Joker swayed from side to side, hypnotising her with his eyes and leaning down to kiss those perfect red lips. They were TOO perfect. He needed to smudge them. A knock at the door distracted him, and with a roll of his eyes Joker called for them to come in. The men looked away as fast as they could once they realised what they'd walked in on. They knew the deal with interacting with Harley Quinn. It was the riskiest business in the club - anything the Joker didn't like was an immediate death sentence. Joker did not sit up or hasten to be more appropriate. He lingered on his side now, leaning on one elbow with Harley's legs tucked up on his lap. He played with her heels - making sure the men across from them saw how sharp they were. Now the games... BEGAN. The Joker brushed Harley aside and let her fix his hair before he sat up properly at the table and grinned at the men,

"Welcome to the party, boys."

Harley bit her lip and shifted a little, almost shivering as he spoke to her, allowing herself to be encased by his body, the action actually quite nice to her. "Actually, Puddin," She said quietly, "It's a banana." She answered, her eyes sparked with amusement, though she supposed his answer was also technically was true. A grin was settled on her lips, but it was obvious that she was annoyed with the fact that the clients had shown up so quickly. Harley had let out a little huff of air, and watched as Joker shifted his position. She did as well once he finished bringing the attention to her sharp, high, heels. She moved to scoot over to him, fixing his hair so it was neat and perfect as he always liked it when other people were around, before she pressed a little kiss to his ear, followed by the lightest of nips. Her eyes looked back to the men across from them, grinning as she leaned back into their seat, her thin legs out on display as one crossed over the other. She usually kept quiet during their meetings, the only exception to the no talking was when she was giving her little tibits to the Joker about everything. After all, he liked her input and her intelligence. Her eyes watched the men first, they avoided looking at her the best they could, in fact, their eyes were locked on the table, not daring to lift their eyes in fear that they might glance at her a moment too long and upset the Joker- upsetting her Mistah J, especially by gazing at, touching, or flirting with, the things he owned, was never, never a good idea. But it amused her that she was one of the things people were so scared of looking at for too long. She leaned up against her Joker, caressing his arm, her all looks and no brain act coming out for the interaction, the men clearing their throat, one uttering softly under his breath. "We're sorry for.. Interrupting, sir."

Joker brandished his arms out in a grandiose fashion and placed a hand on Harley's leg when he dropped them. This was a sign for her to watch them. They were oddly knowledgeable about the way things worked in this club. In JOKER'S domain. This in itself was a shit stain on the whole thing as it meant the men had obviously been lyin' when they'd claimed they'd never stepped inside or heard of the damn club before. J cocked his head at the man who'd addressed him, and then brought up the hand from Harley's leg - as it was the one with the hideos tattoo of the mouth on it - and placed it over his own mouth, eyes glinting with pure madness and delirium,

"Oh, pal. You're not interruptin'. You know why that is, friend?" Joker questioned, elbows braced on the table infront of him, staring at them hard but still keeping up the clown type bravado, "'Cause it's date night! And on date night... nothing... exists..." Joker trailed off, staring at them each, individually. He coughed and suddenly smacked himself HARD upside the head and let out a shrill laugh, "Oh, wait! It's Date Night!" He exclaimed as if it had suddenly dawned on him, "Isn't that right, baby?" He cooed manically to Harley, cupping her chin for a brief exchange before gesturing for the nearest henchman to come over, "Bloo, take the nice man's jewellry, would ya? My harlequin's sat here on DATE NIGHT with no NEW JEWELLRY!" Joker exclaimed as if he were genuinely distraught by such a thing. This in itself was a test. They often played this angle. The Joker unleashed psychological warfare on them while Harley did her professional psychological crap. This was their equivalent to an interview. The man was clearly not reacting well to having his jewellry stripped from him but was doing his best to conceal his rage.

... Clever boy. J cocked his head at the man once again and unleashed his most savage smile, raising his eyebrows and letting them drop just once, "... Problem, precious?"

Harley had taken her cue, watching the two men very closely. Something was definitely off, she could already tell. They weren't suppose to know not to look at her, not to let any grins come to face when they saw what they had been doing, not to imagine her naked. They knew too much, too much about them and the club and how they worked. She let her eyes linger on the man whose jewelry was being taken, painting on a wide smile as one hand raised to press to her chest. "Oh puddin!" She cooed happily, moving to press a chaste kiss to his cheek but she kept her eyes secretly on the men, and when she parted, just barely enough, she whispered. "Somethings up." Before she slid her hand down over his side to pat the gun that sat there, a signal for him to stay alert and taken his gun into play, as there was a mild chance that the two would either pull one, or it would be a set up. She then leaned back from him and went back to assessing the man. The man watched with slightly hardened eyes. "No sir," He started. "Can't leave a girl hanging on date night." There was something so terribly fake about that sentence, Harley's eyes squinting slightly as she watched. The other one was starting to sweat though. Harley could note little beads of sweat dripping on his forehead, and as Joker was likely a bit more busy with the one whose jewelry he was stealing, she allowed herself to put most of her focus on the one with the sweat. He was shaking, an obvious sign of nervousness, which he didn't need to have if he wasn't planning on doing something that would quite obviously upset J. No one who came in here shook or started sweating unless there was something going on. At least, if there were two, one never played cool and one never sweated, it was either both on either or, so something was definitely up. As Harley began to assess them, she noticed the little things, slight stubble which had been missed, a tan line that would end with a uniform of the sorts on the neck, and the way the man who was speaking spoke, it had a sense of authority behind it. He knew what he was doing. He knew what he was doing and he seemed to be use to being in a place of authority, while the man sweating was a newbie. Harley decided, it was best to share this information with her J, and leaned to kiss at his neck for a few moments. "The taller one is use to being in a place of authority, definitely not his first deal, he knows a bit too much about us for this to be his first time, unless he did his research, and the shorter one is sweating through his shirt, he's scared. They're never scared on their first visit unless something is going to happen, Mistah J. The tan lines also suggest that they wear some fairly high collared shirts quite a bit." She whispered, just barely above audiable, before she bit at his ear agian, to add into their little attitude. The man had been handing it over, before quietly scoffing, the other one piping up, his voice shaky. "We uhm, we actually.. We actually have to get going soon, we wouldn't want to keep.. you two busy.. on date night. and uhm.. So.. Shall we get down to business?"

Joker had his head turned towards Harley, partly to return her affection and to listen to her feedback and partly so that the men across the table wouldn't be able to read what she was saying if any of them could lip read. Joker slid a hand across to rest on her thigh again, though it had no signal this time - this was purely possessive. J turned his head very, hauntingly slowly, clearly enraged by the gall the cowardly man across the table seemed to have. With a sudden slam, Joker slammed his custom hand gun down on the table in front of him, teeth clenched,

"Why so serious?" He asked menacingly. Joker darted up and slammed his hands down on the table, a sign for his men to close in and press their guns to the back of the mens' heads. Joker angled his head at a painful vantage and glared at them in a way that was beyond unusual - his eyes actually widened and took on the glint of toxicity and insanity mixed with deadly rage, "DID. YOU. NOT. SEE. MY. GIRL. WAS. TALKING?" Joker raged - having clearly snapped he snatched up his gun and shoved Harley aside, stalking around the table to lean down and hold the gun at a jaunty angle at the man's head. The guy was quivering. Joker did his notorious switch in moods and shot the man a disarmingly toothy and dozy smile before smacking him so hard around the head with the butt of his gun that he passed out.

"Harley!" Joker called and waited for her to come over and fix his hair before he circled an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her neck, "Harley, kitten, would you do Daddy a favour and fetch the switchblade from my pocket?" Once she had retrieved the favoured weapon, he guided her hand, one arm curled around her waist and used the blade to prise unconscious man's mouth open, "Darb, fetch Harley her bombs." Joker had odd names for all his henchmen. Bloo and Darb was just the beginning and they all changed daily - none were specific to any man. In fact he didn't care to remember the names and so called out a random word and relied on any random henchmen to respond to the order.

Harley watched with excited amusement, loving the sight of Joker being so violent towards the man. She could feel it, she could feel that tonight was going to be a wonderfully fantastic date nighjt, especially since she could have a few ideas as to what J wanted her to do with those bombs of hers, straight in this unconciousmans mouth. She loved it. She loved him. Her hand lingered on his with the knife, before she had easily closed up the knife and slid it back into his pocket, a bundle of little giggles as she slipped it into his pocket again. She was happily peppering little kisses along her lovers neck, cooing again this time but it was no information about the men, but simply her little nothings and about how she was enjoying their night more than any other so far. The other man, however, did not seem to be sharing Harley's excitement, as he seemed quite distraught at the sudden actions of the Joker, and quickly raised his hands slightly in a signal of almost... Surrender. Which seemed, rather odd. "Mister Joker, Sir, my partner didn't mean to intterupt your lovely lady here. I don't believe he realized she was speaking." He said quickly in an attempt to try to make things better, his eyes resting down on his partner for a moment, his eyes going to Harley then, and they accidentally lingered on her for thirty seconds. "He's just a bit nervous, we got spooked by the cops a bit earlier and I guess he's just strill shaken by that, he's not use yet to going through business deals. He usually stays home." He explained quickly, looking back to the joker quickly, quietly hoping that he hadn't just blown the deal completely, the rest of the gang was lingering about the club waiting for a signal of some sorts, and he was suppose to give it. He knew he shouldn't have brought a newbie, and now he felt like he was the newbie. they'd all told them that they weren't to look at the girl. The girl was a trigger for the Joker, it pissed him off when someone did anything involving her for longer than five seconds, which included looking at her or in her general direction. If they were cuddling they were supppose to focus on the floor, or on him.

Joker had, once again, been trying to focus on Harley and the things she had to say. She was one of the very few people who actually SPOKE a mad kind of language he could understand and while no-one else thought her to be valuable or vital the way that she was more than any other - he at least EXPECTED SOME KIND OF COMMON DECENCY. I mean, how difficult was it to just anticipate a mad man's every. single. move? Not hard. Harley proved that time and time again. Honestly. Anyone outside of Arkham Asylum (and a good amount of the sickos in it) was dumb as the mouse that attempted to clean the lion's teeth.

"You see..." Joker released Harley and goose stepped his way over to the man, squeezing his cheeks together so tightly that he could not speak, "the problem I've got with you kids these days is that you just..." J shot the man's foot as if he were batting at a fly and didn't even blink when he did it. Bloo had come forward to tape the man's mouth closed, "You've got no respect for the ones that have it aaaaaall figured out, 'n I don't MEAN the ones up in the fancy houses with the hAND on the politics pulse. I MEAN the ones who really figured out. Sweet cheeks; I appreciate tricks and gaaaags and even giggles! But y'see... your joke just isn't funny. I've been waiting far too long for the PUNCHLINE!" And the moment he said the word, he punched the man right across the face and then stepped back, gesturing upwards in a motion which called for his men to start beating on the ingrate who had been the 'top dog'. The 'alpha' of their misguided pack. The one on the left... now HE was for dear Harley.

The man had known he fucked up the moment Joker stepped towards him, and it was followed with a beating. Harley was watching with wide, delightful eyes. "Ohhh Mistah J!" She hummed as she tugged him over so she could press a long, lingering kiss to his lips. "You know I absolutely adore it when you get rooough!" She cooed against his lips, before she had sat back, grinning widely and leaning into him, but then, just as quick as that, one of the men returned with Harleys bombs, and she took them excitedly, moving to simply stuff one in the guys mouth. She pulled the pin once it was lodged nicely between his teeth, then moved to take her Jokers hand, tugging him to step away from him so that when the little explosion went off, they wouldn't be standing so close. Then, in a romantic, dream like manner, the girl moved to snuggle up into his side, hand resting on his chest with a small sigh of pure pleasure when the explosion went off. But then, there was some major chaos going on around them outside in the club, making her look up at her Joker with a quirked eyebrow. "Did they have back up, perchance?" She questioned quietly, her eyes trailing to the door. "Do we take our leave, puddin? A shoot up tonight just wouldn't be fun. I'm more interested in blowing things up today," She told him, her hands caressing his arms carefully as she spoke, knowing he was going to get a little aggitated that another gang had managed to infultrate their club. Of all clubs, theirs. "We can get 'em back.. Blow up their headquarters.. You know what they say," she began to purr her words out, kissing up along his neck. "Take out the Queen and the hive will surely die.."

Joker mimed shooting the guy with the explosives in his mouth with his gun, eyes wide and delighted - smile giddy while watching the chaos take place. The explosion itself was a war cry, and Joker sighed as it turned out they were surrounded on all sides. Exchanging a childishly exasperated look with Harley, he took her hand and led her through to the exit of their booth - only to find there were three men already gathered there with guns and knives. Joker grinned and squeezed Harley's hand - another signal sent her way. This PARTICULAR signal asked her to split off from him and surprise their attackers while Joker distracted them. Seeing as the booth did not connect with the ceiling, there was a good gap that was coincidentally big enough for Harley to crouch in. There was no ceiling to the booth, and so Harley did one of her acrobatic leaps and perched above the entrance to the booth itself. Joker's grin widened and he retrieved an entire card deck from his sleeve (well, it had been in his pocket but as part of the illusion the men didn't know that) - it was the Joker's favourite pack of cards as he'd had all the cards replaced with images of himself and Harley dressed up as the different names of the cards and the suits. Joker was Joker, King was Joker, Queen was Harley, Jack was BATMAN (the story of how he got THAT was always a good icebreaker) and for the rest it was just varied. Joker did everything with a flourish, with an exaggerated movement and with enough insanity that they would pay their entire attention to him and overlook Harley above,

"Gents, gents, GENTS!" The Joker cried excitedly, "Take a card - any card! Now, now, now, folks... is THIS YOUR CARD?!" And then he punched the guy (with the hand with aaaaall the rings on it) so hard that he was instantly down for the count. J then took up a pose while Harley dealt with the rest.

Harley had let out a little giggle as she watched her Joker distract them, but the moment it was her turn to jump in, she jumped down from her hiding spot, her little body flipping in the air, and when she landed, she had kicked one of the men in her fall. With the sharp point of her heel, it left a large slash across his face along with the fact that he was, well, probably not gonna get off the floor any time soon. It was her turn to have all the fun, people looked at Harley and saw some dainty little girl who probably couldn't hurt a fly, but anyone who actually knew Harley Quinn, like her Joker, knew that she was able to hold her own and everyone elses at the same time. She was a marvelous woman, and she kicked ass. Hard. The woman was enjoying herself as she dodged little attempts from those who weren't frozen with the shock and kicked at them, while she was little, she also had quite the punch on her. Some of them figured that out, getting a hard punch. After a few moments, the girl had reached down, ripping a knife out of her shoes, flicking the switchblade out and grinning widely. Her movements were swift and quick as she roughly jabbed the last standing two, about five time each until they were down and the pretty little thing was left there, coated in blood. She slid her tongue across her lips, standing straight and turning to look back at Joker, as if looking for some praise. "Shall we be on our way, Mistah J?" She hummed innocently, stepping over one of the bodies that had been laid on the ground, wiping some blood off her cheek, bouncing her body over to him.

Joker reached out for her, only breaking out of his pose once she had finished and made grabby type motions for her with his hands. He licked at his lips and yanked her closer to him once she was near enough, crushing her lips with the weight of his own and tangling his hands in her hair - pretty roughly. Joker didn't make a habit of kissing her like this and usually only did so once she'd beaten the absolute shit out of whomever they were facing. With a squeeze of her bum, he ended the union and turned to instruct the henchmen who were standing around waiting patiently. They were so well TRAINED! They stood there averting their gazes and looking only at the Joker. Of course they were ALLOWED to look at Harley because she also got to order them about. J clasped his hands together and then held his arms out wide either side of him, an overjoyed expression on his face,

"Boys! Boys, boys, BOYS! Any boo-boos? Any casualties? No? Exxxxxcahllent! Now THIS is quality service! Wouldn't you agree, Harley-doll?" Joker turned briefly to her for her confirmation and then held an arm out for her to take, "Any, uh, DESTRUCTION to the property?" J asked this a little more menacingly now, inferring there would definitely be punishments to be handed out if there were. Luckily for the boys...

Everything seemed in place, and apart from a few bloodstains and corpses (which were already being taken care of) - everything was untouched and just the way the Joker liked it. Harley had spent a long time deciding on the interior decorations, after all. She'd even chipped a nail!

Harley was a bubble of happiness after the rough kiss she'd recieved from him, her hands holding onto his arm as her eyes watched him, only straying from him to the boys once, then they were back to him. "Seems all went pretty well!" She hummed and looked behind them to study the bodies. "Oh what an exciting night it has been! This has been by faaaar the best Date night, Puddin!" She told him once the business talk was done, leaning her body up to kiss at him again, nuzzling his jaw after, giggling slightly. "Where to next, Mistah J? The clubs gonna get reeeeaaaallll borin now that all of our unexpected guest are done fooor~" Her voice floated that sing song tone as she held onto him happily, tightly. The excitement of the night, she assumed, was done. At least the fighting portion, there'd probably be more games and little chases that the Joker would throw them into, and he did promise to blow up the town hall if she wasn't having enough of a good time, and it was, definitely, something that she wanted to see. She grinned innocently and focused her eyes on her lover. He was so gorgeous, and he seemed to be outrageously happy with how the night went, and she loved that. Whenever he got delighted you could see it in his eyes, and that gorgeous smile that had- insane and twisted and dark, but oh so fucking beautiful.

Joker whipped his head around in one swift, erratic motion to look at her,

"Well, Harley girl... why don't we go poke a bat with a stick?" He proposed excitedly, practically hopping about from one foot to the other. "The boys will take care of the, uh, refurbISHMENT here, and we shall go out to play!" Joker snapped his fingers at the nearest henchman and pointed at him, "You're in charge, Bloo! Congrats! Just keep in touch, would ya? I'm takin' the missus out to see a deaaaaar old friend, see?" The henchman he'd pointed at (and has assigned to be 'Bloo') nodded vehemently, his panda mask bobbing about with the motion. Joker's grin doubled in size and he whacked the henchman on the knees with his cane. He set off for the entrance to the club, knowing the car had been parked out front, swinging his cane and whistling,

"HaaaaaaaaaarLEY!" He called for her to join him, assured she was doing so when he heard the quick tapping on her heels as she ran to catch up to him.

Harley quickly followed after him, shoes clacking against the ground as she did. When they got to the car, she grinned excitedly. she loved that car; it was a perfect color and a perfect design, and she always loved being in it. Going fast, practically flying! She had moved to the car, and then, when they arrived, one of the men out front had opened the car door for Harley after tossing the keys to Joker. She was happy, her eyes happy as she slid into the car and sat herself in the seat properly. The door was closed behind her, and she happily awaited her Joker to join, reaching over to slide a hand down over his arm innocently. "Puddin, I got another riddle for 'ya." She said sweetly, her mock innocence coming back into play. "You cannot enjoy me, until you spread me.." She hummed the words, their little odd sense of foreplay sliding into the light. The riddle rolled off her lips in the sweetest hint of a purr, a grin settling itself on her lips as she leaned back into her chair, knowing that the riddle wou would only hype him up to get the night really, really started. Which meant tearing up the city to the max before they finally returned to their apartment.

Joker leaned towards her in the darkness of the car, illuminated only be the dashboard and the lights from the club just outside,

"PEANUT BUTTER!" He exclaimed, slapping the leather of her seat rather uproariously as he laughed in sync with the motion, "NOW LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!" Joker slammed down on the accelerator - the car even skidded as it set off. Joker cackled and smacked the steering wheel a few times, letting his head drift from side to side as he laughed - eyes closed. There was an obnoxious beep from one of the other drivers and Joker didn't even bat an eyelid as he swerved to make them crash into a fire hydrant - which in turn caused the top to go flying off and the water to come cascading out in a steady torrent. J tipped his head back and laughed louder. Harley didn't know this but J had already had the city hall ready to blow - right from the moment he'd suggested it back in the apartment. Now he held the detonator aloft, deadly excitement glinting in his eyes, "Let's start the countdown, baby! 5... 4... 3... 2-" Joker cut himself off as he caught sight of a familiar looming shape in the wing mirror, turning to Harley with a contagious grin (truly like a kid on Christmas) and exclaimed, "We have got company!"

Harley was a bundle of happy giggles as the car moved about the road, going far over the speedlimit, that was for sure. She raised her eyebrows as she watched her lover dearest. She grinned widely at his words, her eyes flicking to look in the mirror to see the BatMobile behind them. "Batsy batsy batsy," She cooed out the little pet name as she looked back to her Joker, grinning widely. "We gonna play with em, puddin?" She asked, almost like she didn't expect him to say yes, but she knew the answer. She knew they'd play with him as much as they could, tease him and give him a run for his money. She leaned back into the seat, her fingers curling into the fabric of the sheet as she allowed herself to calm down and breathe in a little breath of excitement. Her eyes watched carefully, and she could hear that maniacle laughter, her favorite sound. But then, Batsy was landing on the roof. And while the chase was always fun, she didn't want him to be so close and personal with them, and she began to get annoyed. Her eyes went dark as she reached for the nearest gun. "Stupid Batsy," She started, moving to press the gun to the roof. "You're rUINING DATE NIGHT!" She exclaimed, and began to shoot up into the roof. Of course, this was hurting her favorite little car, but they were rich, beyond rich, and they could easily afford another one any time of the day.

Joker did nothing more than try his hand at some expert level steering to try and throw the pesky bat from the roof. He didn't even jump when the bat landed on the car the way that his Harley had. Listening to her vexations and shenanigans, he couldn't help but start up with the maniacal laughter yet again,

"Come ON, ya big freak show! Give us a RUN for our money!" He roared, eyes wide and grin all encompassing as he stomped down on the gas once again, "Harley-baby - peaches - Daddy needs you to undo your seatbelt and JUMP WHEN I TELL YOU TO JUMP!" He licked his lips in an open mouthed laugh, head tipped back once again. He didn't undo his own seatbelt - knowing either Harley or the Bats himself would get him out of the water. They approached the edge of the road before the pier, and thus the countdown began, "3! ... 2! ... JUMP, HARLEY, JUMP! ... 1!" And with that, the car crashed right through the barricade and went right off the edge into the black water below. The Joker was knocked out instantly, but laughing right up until the very moment he lost consciousness.

Harley looked to him, but did astold and unbuckled herself, and, on his command, leapt from the car. She tumbled, her arms and legs getting cut up in the process. She didn't care though, she was instantly too worried about her Mistah J, as he hadn't jumped. Of course he hadn't. Of course. She quickly moved herself up off the ground, panic pressing to her veins. Batsy seemed to disappear into the water as well, she knew he was fetching Joker from there. She needed to act fast so that he didn't end up thrown in jail. Her hands found some of the bombs that she still had on her, but these were different, little sleeping gas filled bombs and one real little bomb. She planted the real bomb and took a few steps back, hiding behind one of the poles until Batman had emerged with Joker, the bomb being set off just enough to startle the bat, before she'd thrown her sleeping gas out into the chaos, before she'd swooped in. She'd managed to catch Joker when Bat had fallen, and quickly supported him properly to get away, before she had propped him against one of the buildings in an ally, fetching her phone and quickly calling one of the henchmen to bring them a car. She finished and crouched down, studying his wet state and moving to press her fingers to find a pulse. Once she knew there was one, she lightly took his head in her hands and began to lightly slap at his cheeks. "Mistah J, you gotta wake up."

Joker woke with a grin on his face, blinking up at Harley. Ah, what a darling sight to wake up to. He was reminded of their 'Chemical Wedding' when she had jumped into the vat of chemicals he'd fallen in himself oh so many years ago. That was the day she'd been born as Harley Quinn - as who she really was. J grinned up at her, reaching up a smack gently at her cheek. She never even had to wear foundation, because her skin was now always bleached white and flawless. Joker patted her and turned his face into the hand she had by his cheek and pressed a kiss to her palm,

"Harley, baby, tell me - is my new suit ruined?" He asked, his voice croaky and affected by the salt water; yet still somehow just as peculiar and unique as usual, "where's Bats? D'you take out the Bat all by yourself, Harley-girl? THAT'S my girl!" He roared joyously clapping and wheezing as he rolled around and then suddenly he pitched over to the side and started coughing up water. "I'm at your mercy, doll. Take me home and fix me up- oh! But FIRST! The main event!" The Joker raised his arm once again to reveal he still had the detonator clenched in his fist - and pressed it without a momen't hesitation. A huge explosion set off a few seconds later and fireworks appeared in the sky along with the rest of the blast that spelled out 'FOR HARLEY'.

Joker spread his arms out wide and shouted, "DATE NIGHT!"

Harley had almost sighed in relief when he woke up, but she let him do as he wanted, giggling quietly as he spoke. "Bats is knocked out. Sleeping gas is a gals best friend." She said softly, before she had went to stand up, going to help him but then, he was exclaiming stuff again. Her eyes lifted at the sound of explosions, and her heart melted instantly. She spun to him then, pulling him to his feet and wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, clinging onto him. "Oh puddddddin!" She cried out, nuzzling her nose into his wet skin with a little muffled sniffle. "You actually blew up the town hall for me! What a dolllll! Tonights been the absolute best, Mistah J!" She cooed happily, beginning then to coat him in the sweetest of kisses. Then, she parted and studied him with a grin. "Lets go home, Puddin." She told him, taking his hand and tugging him to the car that stopped at the road, one henchmen getting out and Harley opened the passanger door to let her Joker in, deciding he shouldn't be driving after well, nearly drowning. "I'll fix you up realllll nice and good!" She promised him, a grin spread across her lips, excited to do so.

Joker shook himself off as if he were a dog - a clinically insane, criminal mastermind, bleached and thoroughly damaged pooch. Joker barked a laugh at the thought. Perhaps he should buy Harley some kind of a tail to wear with some of her outfits. He'd like that. Just like a pet. J jogged over, examining the (surprisingly limited) damage done to his gun and threw an arm around Harley's shoulder - not caring that he was still soaking wet. J was far too narcissistic to care about something like that affecting someone else. There were distant screams and crying in the nearby distance. No doubt the after effect of the blast they'd unleashed on City Hall - and Joker revelled in it. This was HIS domain. The Clown Prince of Darkness, they called him - and he was just that. He was sure they'd call him a terrorist on the news and that the police and not doubts good ol' BATS would come after him - but he knew something that THEY didn't know. None of them did. They didn't UNDERSTAND. This was what he needed. He needed to be feared by all - that way he had more obedient men, more respect, more money and clients less willing to try and trick him... This was what he lived and BREATHED and few understood that the way HARLEY did. That was why she was still alive - why she shared his bleached skin and slept in his bed and was covered in jewellry and all the luxuries she could want. She was just as demented and insane as he was, and she was his - he owned her. The Joker loved nothing more than possessing and owning THINGS and PEOPLE. That was the true mark of power - and he was all for power. Once they were in the car he allowed her to click him into his seatbelt, and waited for her to leave to walk round to the other side before unbelting himself and stretching out on the gap between them so that he could rest his head in her lap. He had to think up some riddles she hadn't heard yet aswell...

Harley had climbed into the car and had started it up just as he laid his head in her lap. She looked down to him, her dress covered in blood. She almost sighed at that. Almost. Her hand moved to stroke his hair, playing with the messy, wet locks as she began to drive back home. A sense of delight lingering there now. "How are you thinking we end off date night, puddin?" She asked him. "A back massage? You're definitely gonna be prettty sore in'a bit." She told him, her eyes dropping only for a moment to watch him before she had looked back to the road. "I could give you a nice loooong massage. I know you like them. And maybe you could have a quick shower," She glanced to him again. "You're startin to smell like seaweed, Mistah J." Her last words were a little playful, knowing he'd respect the playful tone she had with him. Her fingers were still idly playing with his green hair, driving quickly and swiftly through the streets. After a few minutes, they pulled up to their apartment, so she turned off the car, and pulled the keys out before she leaned back into the seat. "Maybe we can have some wiiine before bed too," She hummed sweetly. She had really enjoyed their night, from the little bursts of physical affection to his shows of visual and verbal affection, and the fighting and the murder. Of course, him almost drowning scared her for a moment, but she had gotten her Mistah J back in one piece.

Joker frowned at her incessant noisy chatter. Her high pitched, heavily accented voice got to be grating on his nerves a lot of the time. If he were a sane man, he wouldn't be able to stand it, but seeing as he had never... possessed all of his marbles...

He cracked one eye open to stare at her as she drove. What was the woman harping on and on and on about now? Seaweed? Oooh, he liked seaweed. Harley had once told him his hair looked like seaweed when it was in water (she'd told him this after they'd almost drowned once, but the point was still made). Joker wasn't at all listening to what she was saying, but if he swished his head from side to side on her lap he SWORE he could still hear the ocean. Thought he wasn't too sure about that - because of all the voices and the mayhem that presided there anyhow. What a hoot! He played absentmindedly with the hem of Harley's dress, and made a 'blegh' face when he got some blood on his hand.

"I'll getcha a new, uh, one of these..." he murmured, but knew she probably didn't hear him. He perked up at the mention of alcohol, raising a hand up so fast to point upwards like he'd just discovered the cure for cancer that he almost punched her in the face, "We're all stocked full of champagne, Harls! Riddle me this-" He wriggled about and struggled about until he was sat up once again in his own seat - not paying mind to the fact he'd nearly caused them to drive off the road again, "How do you stop a dog from barking in July?"

Harley had, however, leaned her head back in time to avoid the more than accidental hit. She raised her eyebrows at the man curiously, beginning to think carefully. "I dunno Puddin'. How do you stop a dog from barking in July?" She asked him for the answer to the riddle after a few moments of thought before she was takign the key out of the ignition and sliding out of the car, moving to bump the door shut and kicking off her bloodied heels, picking them up after with her hands alone and moving to the passanger seat, pulling his door open for him and tilting her head curiously. She couldn't quite figure out how one was suppose to make a dog stop barking in July, it was deifnitely one she hadn't heard yet. She knew that he would enjoy sharing a new riddle with her, and she figured she'd continue to tell him more riddles once they were inside and he was out of the wet suit and into his at home clothes and she was free of all the blood. She knew things would be equally as nice following up the exciting night they'd had, and she couldn't wait to finally get some just them time, all them, all alone! Finally! She'd been itching all night for that! She sighed happily and moved to take his hand, tugging him out of the car and into a sweet kiss.

Joker allowed her to kiss him - even reciprocating - though he was far too excited to tell her the answer to the riddle and so he stopped it short and grabbed her by the upper arms, giving her the answer directly to her with the excitement of someone who was telling a family member they'd just been promoted,

"You kill the dog in June!" He yelled and then fall back against the car laughing and waving his hand about randomly - the other was clutching at his chest. J never found anything half funny. It was either hysterical or simply not worth his time. Eventually he was done, wiping tears away from his eyes. It was then that his mood switched and his face dropped all sign od joviality. The usual smile dropped and his eyes became quickly dark and fathomless. His red mouth turned down in a nasty grimace and he fixed Harley with a cold glare, taking deliberately heavy and loaded steps towards her. J forced her to back up until she was near enough to the wall that he could grab hold of the front of her dress and smash her back against the wall itself, "Remember Arkham, Harley? No, see, Harley wouldn't remember THAT because this was before HER time. This was Dr. HARLEEN, uh, remember her? Do you recall sitting across a table from me? From your very own Joker? While I sat there, uh, STRAPPED UP? Remember that, Harls? YOU LET THEM BEAT ME, HARLEEN. YOU DECLARED ME INSANE. THEY PUT ME. IN. SOLITARY. BECAUSE. OF. YOU." Joker roared right in her face. Her stupid, obnoxious face. How had he FORGOTTEN the things Harleen had allowed them to DO to him? And she CLAIMED to love him?! Such betrayal was-

But then again her skin was the bleached white colour of his skin, and she had 'ROTTEN' tattooed along her jaw and- oh, looksie- right there was that dainty heart he'd tattooed on her cheekbone. This couldn't be Harleen. This was Harley. His Harley. Poor kid stood there and took it all and still loved him. Joker pursed his lips, cocking his head at her curiously. What had he been doing? Oh, that's right. It was date night. J stepped away from her and slicked his hair back, adjusted his suit and then strolled over the premises into the lobby for their apartment, whistling just like he had before they left.

Harley had winced as she was slammed there, the pain vibrating in her back. She knew what was coming, but just as quick as it began, it was gone again. She swallowed, a bit thicker than normal, and took a moment to regain herself. He was strutting off and it left her there with a sore pain in her back, which only left her feeling the rest of the pain on her body currently too. The cuts and bruises that were definitely forming on her perfectly white skin from jumping out of the car, the banging ache in her shoulder from the impact. She cringed. She brushed it off though. Tonight was date night. Tonight was their night. Nothing was suppose to get in the way of that, especially not some silly thing like pain! If anything, that should make it better!... Right? She shook the thought too and quickly pushed herself off the wall and sprinted after him. She entered the apartment with him, her hands dusting at her dress. It was definitely ruined now. She could even see some tears in it along her body, surely there was more tears along her back in the dress as well. Utterly ruined, and it had looked so nice too.. She supposed she could always get a new one, however. "What would you like to do for the rest of the night, Mistah J?" When she asked that time, she left it at that. Her voice wasn't as chirpy as the previous moments, her eyes assessing the damage that had been done to her dress, her legs and her arms, and then what had been done to him. She couldn't see any knicks on his face, no bruises or scratches, but his suit was definitely ruined. They'd need to get him a new one of those too, she decided. Asap, because she knew he liked that suit, or at least, he seemed to. He seemed really into it. His fancy, pretty suit, and she couldn't wait to go shopping again. Of course it would mostrly be for her. It was always mostly for her. She discovered that shopping was usually his way of little apologies or attempts to make her not mad or upset. Usually, it worked.

Joker pivoted back to look at her, hand in his pocket while the other swung aimlessly at his side. They were in their own apartment, now. Though they owned every single apartment in the building - the penthouse suite was the one that belonged to THEM. Their love shack, as Harley had labelled it in the early days. Joker's expression was still dark, but in a different way now. His stare was smoldering and his grin was knowing as he took his time to make his way towards her. He kept his hand in his pocket even as he circled an arm around her waist and tugged her closer to him. J stroked his free hand down the side of her face, doing an exaggerated pout at all the cuts and bruises from where she'd jumped out of the car. At least it had been Bats' fault this time. He pouted still as he reached around and very slowly tugged the zip of her dress down. He pushed the straps of the dress over her shoulders and tugged at it until it fell to her knees. Joker inhaled sharply and licked along her jawline, snarling possessively.

"It's bath time, kid." He informed her and then dragged her along to the bathroom. The bath they had in there was so big that it took up a whole entire room of it's own and was always full and always pre-heated. Joker jumped in fully clothed, creating the world's smallest cannonball and laughed like the loon he was.

Harley's body instantly became putty under his touch, her eyes falling half lidded as he licked along her jawline, her head tilting slightly as a small sigh left her, the dress falling leaving her in a nice pair of pink panties. She'd dropped her heels in the process as well, but followed him to the bathroom. She moved herself to get towels for them, laying them out for when they were done. Unlike him, she was going to get proper for the bath, after all the cuts she'd recieved would.. Need it. She moved to pull some bobby pins out of her hair, as she used it to keep some back from her face. Then, she hooked her fingers into the waistband of her panties and slid them off, before she was carefully sliding into the hot water, a sigh of relief leaving her as the warmth soothed her aching muscles. She'd suffered quite the beating from- the ground. The ground had literally bested her. Well, she'd blown lots of ground up! So it was fine! She shook the thought as she sunk herself until she was up to her shoulders in water, her multicolored hair becoming wet as it dipped into water, her eyes clothing for a moment as she dipped her head back, allowing herself to enjoy the moment before they opened and she moved over to him, one hand on his chest, the other somewhere in the water as she leaned to kiss his cheek gently. "Tonight was real nice puddin," She told him, despite the little incident that happened down in the front of the apartment.. The night had been fantastic! Harley couldn't focus on those little moments, they were bound to happen, after all, he was insane, and he wasn't entirely wrong. But, again, she couldn't focus on that! She had to focus on ther est of the night! Like how he blew up CITY HALL for her! "The explosion and fireworks at the end were a reallll nice touch,"

Joker grinned right back at her, all jovial and giddy. To those around him, it looked like he was just on drugs all of the time. That was why it was so terrifying to them when they found it he didn't even NEED drugs to be like this - that he was just insane and unbelievably intelligent to boot. J drew her in by fixing her chin between his thumb and forefinger, and pressed a fleeting smooch to her lips. She'd been a very good girl tonight, after all. His mind had genuinely blanked out the encounter in front of the apartment already. This was part of his issues, just as Harley had discerned when studying his case. Sometimes he suffered blackouts and a slight lapse in his character. Of course, it wasn't UNLIKE him to manhandle or threaten her, but it was unlike him to call her Harleen or even be bothered by how things had been when they first met. He made an 'aaaaahhh' sound and made a grandiose motion of crossing his arms behind his head,

"Help me get the suit off, would ya, peaches? It's, uh- it's- I can't- I'm feeling choked-" He started to struggle with the suit a little. Sometimes he'd forget how much he'd hated the straight jackets he used to be forced to where. Back at the time they'd felt like home to him because he'd MADE HIMSELF think that way. In the form of traumatic memories they were constricting and the weight his suit now had when soaked through with water was eerily familiar. HE NEEDED THE SUIT TO BE OFF ALREADY.

"Of course puddin," Harley said quickly, and moved then to help him, sliding his jacket off and tossing it out of the tub, undoing his bowtie, then unbuttoning his shirt, sat close to him as she stripped him free of the shirt. Her eyes were watching him carefully. "That better, Mistah J?" She asked him softly as she moved to pat his chest a little, finger pausing momentarily to trace over some of his tattoos, her eyes soft and curious. Then, she paused. "Do y'want out of the pants too?" She questioned, simply curious if they were as uncomfortable as the shirt. She assumed it wasn't as bad for him to have the pants on as the shirt, but it was a bath and it would probably be much more enjoyable for him if he didn't have them on. Which made her wonder if he thought he should have taken them off before hand, not that she asked him afterwards. She shook her head a little and moved to press a gentle and loving kiss to his cheek, her eyes soft as she watched him. "Y'okay now, puddin?" She asked quieter, it worried her when he got those little bursts, and she didn't like the idea of him reliving anything that happened to him in the past, which is what had happened just then. She sat on her knees next to him then, her bust on display barely above the water while she dotted on him.

Joker stared unblinkingly haunted at the ceilings, eyes searching and mouth slightly ajar. His bright green hair floated about in the water exactly like the seaweed Harley had likened it to all that time ago. He uttered something inconherent but undoubtedly absolutely insane, and brushed Harley's worrying hands away. He was fine. He was The Joker. Clown Prince of... whatever. Everything. Nothing. Something - and that ain't nothing. J ground his teeth together for a few contemplative seconds and then, finally, he managed to snap out of it. Joker jerked upright, water sloshing about, and it seemed like he'd forgotten Harley was even there. Upon learning Harley was there...

J 'mmmd' his consent and wriggled about to help her get him out of his suit trousers, watching her all the while. She was disturbing. Beautiful. Equal. Disturbing. He cocked his head at her and watched the worry in her eyes. Why were they there? Nobody worried about him. Nobody cared. She didn't. She couldn't. The girl was just as insane as he was. J advanced towards her in the water, drifting almost uncomfortably close. Joker let his eyes probe over her face, lips purse - almost pouting. Joker didn't know what intimacy was, in reality. He didn't understand how intimate this was. He was unusually calm just then - more willing to allow her to be close to him.

Harley's worry morphed to happiness when he snapped out of the little state he'd gone into, and it left him in front of her, so close. So, very close. Her eyes stared up into his before she smiled softly. "Now ain't that more comfy, puddin?" She hummed, moving to wrap her arms around his neck, their bodies pressing together, bare chest to bare chest. The blood and dirt that had coated her body was now washed away, and all seemed to be fine and dandy, the two were now okay, now fine in their little moment, and Harley loved their little moments. Sure, he dind't know what he did or why he did it, not when it came to these intimate or romantic moments, but she did, and it made her, of all people, happy. She assumed that if he knew what it was that he'd be pretty happy too. She let her fingers curl into his hair a little, playing with it lightly as she did. Then, she leaned forward to place a soft kiss to his lips with a small hum. "I'm forever glad to be yours, Mistah J." She assured him after a moment. She knew that the worry hadn't come up; when it did he didn't even realize it. But it was obvious in his jealousy that he feared that there was a chance that she might leave him to be with another, to be happy, and sometimes she knew it was just nice to tell him that she enjoyed being his possession. His Harley Quinn. His little monster.

Joker was still disarmingly close - close enough that their noses would be touching if he hadn't angled his face the way he had. Why was she so comfortable being this close to him? Why was she not scared or disturbed? Why was she different? Why did she stay?

"Why are you here?" He asked quietly, in a tone that was almost a growl - but not an angry one. He was confused. Well, J was always confused, but this...

He was just stuck in those rare moments when he had a little clarity. It wasn't that he didn't want her there, because he did. He would be lonely without her at this point, and she was entertaining and fun to look at and useful and... something niggled at him but he slapped it away. He slapped at his chest.

Joker knew that of all people, the only person that had a chance of knowing him better than Harley Quinn did was Batman, and even then - Harley might still have the upper hand. There was something beautifully ironic about the no.1 psychopath in Gotham having a professional in psychology as a girlfriend, and J absolutely LOVED irony. What had his point been? Oh, yeah. He wasn't sayin' he wanted her to just get out and LEAVE. No, no, no. He wanted to know why she stayed. Why she was different. Why she claimed to love him. He wasn't sure if he believed she really did or not. Didn't know if such a thing were possible. What even was love? Pesky thing, from what he'd seen. For some reason, anyhow, Harley Quinn had been obsessed with him and for seven years she had not left his side (excluding the breakups they had on a somewhat regular basis). She always came back. It made him curious. It was like the longest running joke and he just couldn't figure out the punchline.

She blinked when he spoke to her, and her eyes softened. It was like some of her insanity had melted away then too. She smiled softly, her hands moving to caress his neck gently. "Because, Mistah J," sHe started quietly. "I'm so horribly in love with you. You are what keeps me utterly insane, and I quite like it that way.. Besides, if I didn't have you, who else would let me put bombs in a mans mouth?" She murmured and moved her hands to begin stroking his jaw gently and lovingly. Harley couldn't begin to explain to him why she was still there, why she hadn't left him ages ago, she couldn't do it, she couldn't find the words past thatshe loved him. He was what made her, her. "I wouldn't be Harley Quinn without my Joker." She explained to him, and her fingers danced along his jaw carefully. "I love you, Puddin. I don't intend to leave 'ya anytime soon." She whispered the last little bit and closed the tiny bit of distance between them to press a soft and loving kiss to his lips.

She knew that it was a rare moment, so she was letting herself bathe in it, enjoying the feeling and the words, the idea that they were so close, and Harley could almost feel how much he actually appreciated her. Love, maybe not so obvious, but the appreciation was obviously there. Which left her happy anyway, because it was something, and something always meant everything to her. She moved her hands to pat his cheek. "You're my Joker, and I'm your Harley Quinn. We wouldn't be the same if we were apart now. People do view us as a package deal," She pointed out, and then, carefully, she moved to stand from the tub, carefully taking his hands aned placing them on her hips, waiting for her to follow the suit of her as well, and stand.

J frowned, plated teeth chewing on his lower lip. His mind would never ever stay still long enough for him to understand, but he got the point. So maybe the crazy dame did love him. That couldn't be such a bad thing. It was about time SOMEONE actually did, anyways. His mother never did, and his father... well his father had-

His mind blanked on that. Couldn't remember the face. Shame. So Harley loved him and he-

He supposed he needed Harley. He CREATED Harley. He OWNED Harley. Harley was his right hand nutter. She was his doll, his accomplice. He admitted he wouldn't have been able to escape Arkham Asylum as many times as he had and so quickly too if not for Harley Quinn. Eventually, he just rolled his neck, letting his head do a full rotation, teeth gritted and lips pulled into a silent snarl. Sometimes he just didn't feel chatty. Oddly, he was reminded of something he'd heard one of the goons say before, that 'everyone has seen the Joker laugh but only Harley Quinn has ever seen him cry'. He'd concede that point. She had indeed seen him cry. OH, AND THERE HAD BEEN THAT WONDERFUL RUMOUR THAT HE CRIED BLOOD! Joker clapped his hands and cackled to himself. Almost obediently, as if on autopilot, J allowed Harley to guide him about while he was stuck in his own head. This was just how they had to work sometimes, and they were so used to doing it that J just let her get on with whatever she had in mind because he always ended up where he needed to be, anyhow. Harley was good at that. A Doctor had once asked him during the many, many, many times his case had been taken on at Arkham, if he was in love with Harley Quinn. He didn't remember it clearly because he never remembered anything CLEARLY anymore, but he'd said something about a firetruck and then he'd headbutted the man. To be rather brutally honest - he hadn't had an answer, and still didn't.

Harley watched him, he seemed pretty out of it off and on tonight, but she guessed that he did almost drown and that had to count for something. She shook her head a little and kissed his cheek, before she got out, wrapped herself up in a towel, before she helped him out and dried him off so that he wouldn't be wet when she coaxed him into bed. She took his hand and carefully led him through the doors until they were in the large bedroom they shared, and she gently nudged him into it. "Maybe we should get some sleep now, Puddin." She told him softly, and moved to dry herself off before tossing the towel into a bin, then, she proceeded to slide on a nice pair of black panties and one of the over sized shirts that Joker had surprisingly allowed her to take from him; the ones he didn't wear anymore out in public so she was granted permission to sleep within them, which she liked obviously. There was something about sleeping in one of his shirts that just provided her with some form of comfort, and it was nice to do so. Plus the fabirc was well- really nice. She relaxed a little and moved to climb into the bed next to him after, pulling the covers up around them and letting out the slightest of sighs as she melted into the soft mattress that laid beneath them, rolling her small body onto her side and gazing up at him, fingers dancing across his jaw once more. "We'll reak some more havoc on the town in the mornin. Sound good, mistah J?" She asjed him, though she knew he would probably agree. It had been a long day and he likely wanted to sleep.

Joker had once again been staring at the ceiling, though this time he was mouthing something to himself and had been gesturing about with his hands. He smacked himself in the face and let out a bizarre, completely out of place cackle. Where was he? Oh. The bed. Which meant Harley should be...

Ah, yes. Harley...

Joker's thoughts all collected on the one thing he had in front of him. It was easier this way, sometimes. It was such a mess up there he wondered how he ever slept. With a violent, snappy shake of his head he brought himself back to reality. The one he was in now, anyway - and wasn't that a bizarre thought? Harls was wearing one of his shirts again. Joker looked at her the way a shark might look at a baby seal. It was there only a moment, though, and gone the next. Suddenly he was grinning again - randomly in that good mood he had been just before they had left the apartment,

"Harley, baby!" He exclaimed and then jumped up to throw himself on top of her. Ignoring her giggles and squeals, he tickled her and then flipped himself over so that he was lying on her, one leg crossed over the other at the knee and his arms folded behind his head. He grinned at the ceiling, now. No more vacant stares. His moods or states came and went like this. Harley was probably the only one to ever actually see the state he'd just been in, mind. Perhaps those at Arkham had, but he'd had no choice then. Joker grinned harder when she spoke. Had he mentioned he liked Harley? She was his favourite. What a top gal, that kid was.

Harley had to catch her breath, his tickles had made her squeal and giggle, leaving her out of breath when he finally stopped what he was doing and simply laid on her. She smiled softly and moved to begin playing with his hair, her eyes soft and gentle as she gazed down at him. Her fingers did little swirls in his hair, watching him with a sense of contentness. She was use to the mood swings, the change in personality, she was use to it. After all, she knew Joker inside and out, she knew him like the back of her hand. After all, she had been his doctor, and now she spent nearly every moment glued to his side. She knew that it would be awhile before he fell asleep, so she began to hum a little. "Puddin, I got one last riddle before bed," She said after a moment. "I'm the highlight of many dates. I'm especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?" She recited it, one of the few that came to mind. She figured that it was the best one to finish of Date Night with, after all, it was about dates. She smiled fondly as she waited for his response, fingers trailing over his arms then. She just liked to touch him, her eyes and fingers tracing out every tattoo on his body, some old, some new, some done by her, some done by him, some done by someone else.

The Joker flipped himself over (not too gently either) and settled himself down between her legs. Elbows propped up either side of her waist, he passed his face from hand to hand, an obscene expression on his face as he thought. He couldn't. The connotations were too much. Eventually he gave up and propped himself up on his knees. His hands fell to improper places, skirting between the lace of her panties, he circled her a few times with his fingers to get her all wet - but she was anyway! What a good, good, GOOD GIRL. J grinned devilishly and took the liberty of inserting a finger, and then another... and then another. For once, he was content enough to pump them slowly in and out of her - because it was part of a joke, see! He couldn't focus on speed or hilarity when he was about to deliver the punchline to a joke! He'd fetch the whoopee cushion later. Joker watched with menacing delight as Harley came undone beneath him, and with a mere tickle of his fingers, too! What a woman! What a gal! What a good sport she was. He decided she was just about ready to hear the punchline and curled his fingers to hit her g-spot, making her moan and writhe. His eyes lit up with the thrill and the power (if there was one thing J could say he truly loved, that would be power) - and his grin doubled in size, glinting in the dimly lit surroundings of their bedroom,

"HARLEY QUINN!" He cried, as a response to her riddle.

Harley's face melted with pleasure at the feeling of his fingers inside her, she could already tell what his answer would be for the end of the night. She curled her toes a little, her fingers moving to curl into the sheets beneath her near her hips, lips parted in a happy little moan, though the more he moved them, the more he curled them, her moans grew a bit louder. She whined out when he finally responded to her riddle with herself- a sense of silly happiness in her chest, after all the beginning of the riddle started with, 'I'm the highlight of many dates'. She let her tongue slip out from between her lips, darting over them to wet them, red lipstick smudged from the earlier kisses. "I mean, yes," She breathed out quietly. "But the real answer is bowling ball." She told him, her voice light and airy. After all, Joker may have been off the rocker but he was more skilled than any man she'd ever even seen! And he knew exactly how to make her purr. Her hips made the slightest of little rolls, wanting a bit more friction, naturally. She was use to him being much, much faster. And harder, than he was being at the moment, and she was so use to him being fast and rough with her, that she craved it now. It was all she could tolerate. Slow, she couldn't tolerate slow. It was like torture for her, though she knew that he definitely enjoyed to torture her, in every way.

Joker paused, stopping his gentle pumping to sit back on his heels and ponder the answer to the riddle. Huh. That was a GOOD one. J frowned suddenly, something rather unpleasant occurring to him. Like a cobra striking, he suddenly had his hand around Harley's throat, his fingers picked up speed and went straight back into motion,

"Tell me, Harley - where do you get these RIDDLES from, hmm? Edward, uh, NIGMA?" He asked but it sounded like a threat. The jealousy spiked within him, impossible to ignore and furious and insecure and fierce. So she was messing around with The Riddler, huh? No. He'd not allowed that. She was...

She was...

No.

His.

J wasn't strangling her in a way that actually hurt her, mainly because he wanted to hear her answer to his accusations, but also partly because it WAS Date Night, after all. A spiteful idea came to him and very swiftly, he removed his fingers and instead used the free hand to pull on her hair, drawing his face closer to hers to inspect it. She was a professional in psychology but he'd picked up a few tricks himself, just from working with her so long. He could read faces and tell when someone was lying. For her sake as well as most of Gotham, she better have a pleasing answer for him.

Harley squeaked at the sudden actions he took, a loud whine falling free of her lips at the faster motion, not to mention his little choking, it always drove her crazy. Though the lack of his fingers left her quivering beneath his every touch, her lips parted slightly trying to catch her breath, shaking her head a little. "No, Mistah J.." She said, looking up into his eyes so eh knew she was being completely honest with him. "You brought home one of those books once, remember? A joke book, but it had some real nice riddles in it." She told him, her body squirming slightly, as she had been on the brink of an orgasm before he stopped completely. "I also found a book the last time we went shopping that had a buuuuncha riddles in it. Its in the drawer if ya wanna check," She told him, her hand reaching out to trace down along his side, her eyes flicking over his face carefully. "I wouldn't be messin around on ya, puddin. Especially not with someone like the Riddler.. Ain't nobody but you who can make this kitten purr." She told him, her voice quiet and holding the truth behind it. Of course, quite a ways back there had been a few incidents. When she was with Poison Ivy, being one. That one time she pretended to be into Batsy to make J jealous. But she didn't intend on doing anything like that, not like wha the thought. And with Edward NIGMA? He had some pretty interesting riddles, but he couldn't even come close to comparing to HER mistah J. And he happened to be the only MAN she wanted. Though she supposed the fact that he was jealous suddenly should be something good for her. Because it meant that he was still completely interested in her.

J tilted his head at her very slowly, eyes probing and scanning for any signs of deception.

... Hmm. The girl might just be telling the truth. Abruptly, a huge smile appeared on his face, his eyebrows unknotted and rose up and his eyes shone with affection,

"THAT'S MY GIRL!" He exclaimed and, seeing as he was already naked and hard enough to knock down an entire house with just the swivel of his hips, he eased Harley's legs further open. Her flexibility was something he could never get enough of. With a SLAM he entered her and then, one hand still around her throat while the other curled around the headboard in a scary display of strength, he popped a kiss on her nose and brought that terrifying grin right up close to her, "Buckle up, Harley-girl! The ride starts soon! Keep all hands and personal belongings INSIDE the vehicle at all times and do NOT try to exit the ride while it is still in motion!" And with that, he started to thrust into her at an almost manic rate, "The best part is... Harls..." he panted out, his slicked back hair coming loose and falling into his face in places, "you don't cum until Daddy says so!"

Harley had just about came the moment he slammed himself inside her, but she forced herself not to. Her eyes stayed on his face, body shaking beneath him from the pleasure that was starting to rumble in her veins. She already knew how it was going to go down, and it made her beyond excited. Her eyes rolled back slightly though when he began to thrust again. She had already been so, so painfully close, and now she wasn't even allowed to let herself feel the pleasure of climax. Her hips jerked slightly, toes curling while her head tilted back slightly, eyes squeezing shut. A loud moan fell from her lips, followed by a cry of pleasure. "OH!~" The noise was a little airy, from the pleasure and his hand curled around her throat. It was beyond hard for her to keep herself from orgasming, but she was a good, good good girl, always a good girl for her mistah j, and he was especially in charge right now. If he said that she couldn't cum until he said so, then she wasn't allowed to cum until he said so, and it left her quivering and twitching beneath his body. One hand fisted the sheets, tugging at them to try to get some sort of distraction from the pleasure before she burst. "M- Mistah J~" She whined out, her voice stuttering for a moment. Boy, he really knew how to end off their date night. This was FANTASTIC! Harley never could get enough of him. Her legs bent a little squeezing against his hips in the slightest.

Joker withdrew from her suddenly. He was always like this in the bedroom - always spontaneous and just as insane as he was outside of it, too. J rolledher over so that she was curled over, and scampered off to retrieve his gun. He ran his hands up and down the back of her thighs for a little bit. Joker knew in essence what it was he wanted to do but it was just... how did he want to carry it out? Which would be the most bizarre...

What fascinated him the most about Harley was the way in which she trusted him. It was unwavering, never faulting. J lined the safety of the gun up with her clitoris and drew it back until it nudged the sensitive spot. He chuckled to himself - fascinated by the sexual exploration. He turned the gun around and drew the safety back again, but this time he trapped her clitoris between the safety and the gun itself. It wasn't painful, just a little tight and he accompanied the feeling with the lightest flickering of his tongue. This would do it. He had a FEELING. This was why he was so good at making plans and carrying them THROUGH-ah.

"Aaaaaaaalright, Harley-girl. Time for the next act!" This was her cue to allow herself to reach her climax. He drew the safety back and let it go, springing it against her most sensitive spot.

Harley had easily transitioned into the position he put her in, naturally so able to do it because of her flexibility. She bit down on her lips though, waiting for him to continue pleasuring her. Her eyes watched him intensely, before she felt the gun against her, a small moan leaving her. Her head tilted back and she squeezed the sheets in her hands, her thighs twitching and quivering beneath his every slight touch, though, she was finally allowed to cum, and he was snapping the safety against her clit, it was impossible for her to not. She curled toes roughly, tightly as she came, her ankles even curling inwards as she let out loud little whines. "Oh-Oh Puddin!" She cried out, finally allowing herself to feel the release of her orgasm, andd then relaxed into the bed, her body slipping out of the position he'd placed her in. She had her knees slightly pressed together, gazing up at him with her pleased eyes. She leaned up slightly, her lips connecting with his for a moment, before she nipped at his bottom lip, then bit a bit harder, enjoying the feeling of being so close to him. Their sex always did that to her.

Joker hummed in a very gravelly, very throaty fashion. He spread his arms out at each side and ran both hands through his hair before letting them drop to hang in the air - as if he were accepting applause from an audience, palms upturned. His arousal was trapped between himself and her navel, but he wasn't too concerned with it. If she wished to finish him off then he would let her, but if it was overlooked then that was fine too as he was a man who was too easily distracted and impatient to linger on one thing for too long. When it came to sex he enjoyed (of course) the feeling, the power, the dominance, the possibilites... but he only enjoyed sex with Harley. She entertained all of these things - AND the girl was exceedingly and impressively flexible. J looped his arms around Harley's fairly sweaty back and splayed his hands out over her back all possessively. She had such beautiful skin, his Harley. When they parted he attended to fixing up her pigtail, tugging on it a little,

"Remember the time I fucked you with a loaded gun?"

Harley had sighed out a little, she leaned into him slightly when he tugged her pigtail, giggling slightly, tongue darting across her lips. "Yeah," She said quietly. "I do," She breathed, a little out of breath from the previous orgasm. But she could very well tell that he was still hard, so she moved her hands to push him back from her a little bit, then her free hand traced down over his chest, her fingers curling around his erection, gazing up at him as she slowly began to pump him, knowing that she needed to get him off- or rather that she wanted to. She saw it unfair ifn she got off and then he didn't, and he always made sure she got off, but he didn't much care about himself unless he was really, really ahrd in the first place. She began to pump him harder and faster as she relaxed herself. "You reallllly enjoyed that," she told him, her eyes locked on his. "That was a really rough session.. We need to do something thaaat rough agian," She told him quietly. "Maybe our next session can involve someeee..." She began to wonder, continuing to pump him. "Maybe you can tie me up next time, hand cuffs.." She said quietly. "Maybe a gag.." She grinned, knowing that he always loved to mess around with new things and even old things.

Joker was busy tying her pigtails together above her head so that he could hold both of them in one hand. He was frowning in concentration as he did so, the only sign he was responding to her pleasuring him (and really this was a very indicative sign for those who knew him and his attention span) was the way his hips moved in tandem with the way she was pumping him. Joker was not the kind of guy who could focus on something like this. He definitely FELT the pleasure and would give little responses to feeling it build and build and he always came when Harley worked on him, but he wasn't really capable of responding to it all the same way others would. The Joker was, after all, not very willing to think of himself as human. He would remain distracted right up until he was just about to come, (apart from very rarely - when he would be fully engaged in it the whole way through) and would always be at his most vulnerable right after he climaxed. Harley sometimes received an 'I love you' at times like this. It kicked in then, and Joker grasped the joined pigtails tight in his fist, his other hand was locked around the curve of Harley's jaw - at the very hinge of it. He allowed his head to tip back, his lips to part and a guttural groan to leave him. He even trembled as he came, hands going slack and losing all their strength. The Joker always felt everything very intensely or not at all. As soon as he could regain control of himself he brought his head back up and locked eyes with Harley. It was surely out of character for him to insist on this but he DID, whenever they were making love he always insisted he and Harley maintained eye contact unless he got distracted. J wanted this now. He needed this. Harley was the only source of intimacy and comfort he had, and he lowered himself down until he was level with her, his hand still secured on her jaw, eyes flitting between her own. No sounds permeated the silence apart from their own breathing as it slowed down.

Harley whimpered out at the feeling of him gripping her pigtails, and she let him have his orgasm, her eyes locked on his face. It was so erotic, she always loved watching him cum. It was so.. He looked so vulnerable. She felt his cum splatter up over her stomach, over her breast. She grinned a little, looking up at him, eyes trailing over him momentairly before she locked with his again, allowing the intimate moment linger between them. Her free hand gently trailed up his chest, curling around his neck for a moment as she guided him close, kissing him gently and sweetly. "I love you, puddin." She told him quietly, knowing that these were one of the rare moments where she might have been able to get the words back in return. She remained laid beneath him, sticky and covered in his cum, not that she would ever mind it or care, she was so use to it anyway. Her hand was still lightly pumping to ride him through his orgasm til he was done and then, she rubbed her hands along his sides, his chest, tracing his tattoos carefully as she did. She didn't dare say anything else though, knowing how easily he got distracted from everything and anythign all at once so easily. She rubbed her hands along his skin, just appreciating him so gently with a smile on her lips, not moving her eyes from his either in the moment that they were laid there.

J looked as if he were struggling with something. Often when he returned her sentiment it was a reward or something he was testing out. He always knew SHE was going to say it, he just never knew whether he would intentionally respond or not. J just...

He didn't know.

What was...

He didn't say it. Instead, he gently prized her hands away from him and scooped her up off her knees. He crawled over with her to the head of the bed - and without a word - he began to tuck her in under the covers. Joker himself rolled over and rested his head on her lap, he took up her hand and began to flip it about, examining it.

"Harls..." He murmured, and then placed her hand in his hair. He doubted he would be able to sleep very well that night unless she helped him slip into it. Something was niggling at him. It was like he was, uh...

Buzzing? Buzzing. More so than usual. What was the gag this time? Was he sick? Nuhuh. A man so fulla life didn't get sick so easily. He was distracted, though, by Harley massaging at his scalp and playing with his hair, "Harley-girl?" He yearned for her attention, pawing at her with his eyes closed, "I love you, kid." J had murmured it and he'd no clue that he'd even said it. Perhaps it was one of his subconscious insane ramblings. Who knew? He had so many of those damn things, how was he supposed to keep tally of all of them?

There was a way to get some of their toxic serum into the city's water supply through the tunnels Killer Croc lived in, he was sure...

Just like that, he was already distracted by another thought - his mind taking him off on a tangent.

Harley had beamed at the words and moved to begin massaging his scalp for a quiet moment, and continued to do it until he was seemingly more relaxed. "I love you too, Puddin." She told him with a soft tone, relaxing into the bed carefully. "Any plans for tomorrow, Mistah J?" she asked quietly, knowing it would be awhile before he managed to sleep, if it happened at all. She leaned carefully to get the tissues at the nightsand on her side, wiping the cum off her chest and off her stomach before she moved herself to toss it into the garbage, trying the best she could not to move too much and accidentally make him uncomfortable. She didn't want that, she wanted him to get him comfy so that she could let him sleep. She was happy that he had said that he loved her, because it was so undeniably rare that it only happened at certain times, and she never knew if he knew that he ever said it, or why he said it, or what he said. Though, she couldn't complain. Even if he had no idea, it was so delightful to hear, especially with how their relationship worked. She closed her eyes and began to drift a little, almost falling asleep but forcing herself to stay aware and alert to listen to his breathing to find out if he was sleeping or not. Of course he was meant to answer the question she asked, but he didn't entirely and completely need to, nor was it a gurantee that he would.

Joker stirred at the air with his hand. The motion was somehow vague yet erratic at the same time. He sat up ram-rod straight after a moment of thinking - completely and fully awake once again. Sure, J was BAD with his memory at times but he always, always, always remembered his calendar - events that he could exploit and make his own - holidays and reasons to cause mischief. Society never saw it coming, no matter how cliched or predictable it was.

"Tomorrow's only the greatest day of the year, pet! Bats' birthday! Oh, the old freak must be about 80 already! All the PRESENTS we've got waiting for him, doll... all the trickery..." He turned to her with a savage grin and then in one (miraculously speedy) motion, he secured himself under the covers and rolled himself over to her side of the best. They always slept like this. The Joker settled down with his head on her chest, his arms wrapped around her waist - and she would always stroke his hair. It was the only known thing that worked to calm him down. That and, of course, letting him ramble on about his maniacal plans and ideas for pranks to play on Batman.

Harley had welcomed him into the position, kissing his head gently, before she began to stroke his messy hair, which had come undone in their session. His sex was always one of the few things that managed to mess up his hair. She ran her hand back through his hair, her eyes still shut. "We'll make it a fantastic ol'day, puddin.," She promised him before she had relaxed into the bed. After a moment of some hours of him rambling on, she finally heard him fall asleep and had allowed herself to fall asleep too. It was nice, sleeping after he'd allowed her son much pleasure, not to mention that well.. It had taken a lot out of her, their date night. Her body was still kinda achy but she decided that the tnire night as a whole was a whole lot better than just that one moment of her jumping from the car. When she woke the next morning, her precious Joker was already up by the seems of it, though he seemed to have only recently woke up as he was still on her chest, snuggled tightly up into her. And attemtping to resnuggle into her, almost like he was itching for some more sleep, which she totally udnerstood, but he was excited for the day the night before, so she figured it was best to get up and get ready for the day before she forgot herself. "Good mornin puddin," She cooed quietly, her voice soft and cracking from the morning.

Joker didn't bother to pretend he wasn't irritated. He felt like death. Well, he ALWAYS felt like death. He meant this in a more 'inside his head' sense, and that STILL wasn't outside of the ordinary. J grumbled some sort of vaguely insincere threat and hurled one of their many cushion at the direction had voice had come from. He only did this when she was out of the bed, though. He was not a man fond of sabotaging himself. Self preservation came first. Although... he couldn't exactly sleep without Harley in the bed...

"Do me a favour, would you, kitten? Get your dainty little baseball bat and KNOCK ME OUT WITH IT!"

Unexpectedly, he slammed his fist down into the mastress and reared up, his hair all messed up and roared the last part at her. The Joker was bad enough when he'd slept well, but his sleep deprived days were...

Sometimes he made his henchmen carry him around as if they were all parts of a giant human throne, or as if they were one of those big... parade floats...

That gave J an idea. He'd need to look into that.

What was Harley doing? What was she saying?