Journal of Peter Griffin
Authors note: I can't think of anything so just read. Oh um just one chapter. (Unless you really like it)
Dear diary,
Today I won a drink off against Quagmire but then I was so drunk I took some pills I found in an alley and now I 'm afraid if I stop talking out loud I will die. Lois is mad at me for no apparent reason I mean all I did was mistake her for Biggy Smalls and start talking trash like 2pac and I pulled out a knife and started threatening her I mean what a baby. Meg is of course being a bitch and is complaining I don't let her stay out late. And Chris is asking me if he can get a vasectomy I said yes and Lois started yelling at me. Stewie is trying to drug Lois by slipping her a Mickey in her drinks but of course Joe drank it and passed out I really couldn't tell if he was dead or not hmm funny isn't it so we basically rolled him to his house rang the door bell and ran he he.
Cleveland and me went to the mall and no I'm not gay (here I make an obnoxious face and turn my back) we bought some gum, a book on beer, some condoms, a bottle of Viagra, and some clogs. I don't have a problem.
I made up a song while we were driving on the high way and I farted its called supersonic fart. And it goes like this:
"I was driving down the highway root 64 when I blew a big one that blew us out the door the wheels couldn't take it the car fell apart all because of my supersonic fart! Fe fi fo fum I just blew another one 5, 6, 7, 8, every one evacuate hey!"
I think I could make beautiful music what do you think? Well journal that's all for now until next.
Authors note: Sorry it's so short I really couldn't think of anything so well rite some good reviews thanks.
Chapter 2
Dear Diary,
What a day today I crashed my car because I was driving and talking on my cell phone, eating a donut, paying my bills, and listening to the radio. At the Drunken Clam I learned that if you shouldn't drink any alcohol threw a straw not good. Stewie did the most worst possible thing he THIS IS NOT ALOUD ANYWHERE ON THE NET OR TV I mean can you believe it! Chris asked me where babies come from. I told him a mix of a lie and the truth I said screw that mommy daddy love each other st I told him THIS IS ALSO NOT ALOUD ON THE NET OR TV when he believed me I was on the floor laughing. We took Brian to the vet and the vet said he needed to be "fixed" and Brian cursed him out. The doctor then pulled out the scissors and went for Brian but he grabbed the scissors from him and "fixed" the vet hea hea.
Lois and I were animals last night. I think you no what I mean yea me to we made nachos with penut butter ha ha ha haaaaa! Meg asked me when was my "first time" I said NOT ALOUD ANYWHERE and I have come a long way. Well until next time.
thus ends another Peter Griffin Journal