Batman's Fame

Oh how he loathed that red clad speedster and the big mouth that was situated on the hero's face. It was the kind of mouth that Batman wanted to sew shut. It was the kind of mouth that the nighttime patrol of Gotham, not including one dark knight, was currently conversing with. Four days ago, Flash was supposed to bring a simple piece of evidence that Batman was going to run through his computer. That was all the speedy man was supposed to do!

However, the red blur had a "hot off the presses" piece of gossip. A piece of gossip that Batman had sworn he had hidden deep in the mission report of which it was written in. The black clad hero knew something was off when Flash came into the cave singing a familiar song. Leave it to Nightwing to recognize it from one of his teacher's stake outs. This prompted questions by the Batclan. Finally, Flash's face lit up when he caught sight of the Bat. Immediately after spotting two narrowed eyes in the darkness of the cave, the speedster caved.

Once he finished informing the clan of Batman's five minutes of fame to save Wonder Woman, everyone turned to the origin. Batman's mouth couldn't get any straighter or thinner. Robin was the first one to pounce on the subject and began demanding audio or video. Even Batgirl seemed to be interested in hearing the voice of fear sing the blues. Nightwing, on the other hand, seemed just too freaked out to care how funny this was.

So, for the past two days, Batman had been avoiding everyone around the world. Even Alfred had gotten wind of "The Singing Bat" rumors that were floating around. Once or twice, Batman didn't really care; Superman and Wonder Woman had stopped by to pry him away from his computers. He could swear that even J'onn had come down into the dark cave at one point. Avoiding everyone was Batman's only desire until Supergirl or Zatanna had some other rumor to spread.

He moved a hand over and switched on the world news to catch up with important events. Five minutes into watching the news anchor talk about an earthquake in China, Batman noticed a sudden smile appear. He would regret ever turning on the news on this day for the rest of his life.

"And as a special treat tonight, we have special guests Wonder Woman, Superman, Green Arrow and The Flash." Batman leaned as far as he could into his chair as he glared at the screen. Why were they making an appearance on the news without consulting him?! "So, you obviously have half the League over in China to help out. So, having you here makes us really grateful, but I am curious why Batman wasn't able to show up."

"He's currently working on-" Superman had started, but Flash couldn't resist.

"He's hiding out in his cave." Flash was frowning a mock frown and turned dramatically to the camera. "Hey, Bats. I'm sure you're watching this because you can't stop being you. So, we just want you to know that you have a beautiful singing voice! And we did find footage that we plan on releasing right about… now!"

Sure enough, a poor quality video popped up on the screen and displayed the dark knight singing "Am I Blue?" on stage. Batman's hands gripped the chair's arms so tightly that he was surprised he didn't dent them. When the video was over and it returned to the news anchor and his fellow Leaguers, Batman shut off the feed. Perhaps not leaving the cave as Bruce or Batman was a good idea for the next few years. Unfortunately, about fifteen minutes later, Flash had entered the cave. He had the biggest smile on his face as he walked up behind the big, black bat.

"Give me one reason not to drop you off the top of the Wayne Enterprises' skyscraper?"

"Because I'll survive?"

"Not if I drug you right."

"Aw, c'mon Bats! You can't expect me to believe that you'd kill someone over something like singing?!"

"It was me singing, Flash."

"More reason to show the world that you're actually big and cuddly."

Batman moved so fast that Flash felt a pang of envy. Black gloved hands held the speedster against the computer's console in a binding grip. The fastest man alive wished he had thought things through better and not come by the cave to check if Bats had seen the news. Batman's face was practically centimeters away from Flash's. A moment of panic spread through the young man's mind as he imagined the news reports. Poor Flash, taken from the world by an insane crook that dropped him from the top of a building. Since we all know that Batman wouldn't kill him while dressed as a superhero!

"I have a reputation to keep with the criminals of Gotham! How can I scare them into squealing when they think I'm 'cuddly'?!"

"Um… at least little kids won't be so scared of ya?"

"Not the point!"

"You aren't seriously gonna kill me are ya, Bats?" Flash's eyes widened slightly.

Batman grunted in response and released him; turning away. Flash straightened up, watching Batman stalk off into the darkness of the cave. Part of the lightning fast brain said "Go after him!" and the other part said "Run for you life while you can!". A sound next to the speedster startled a slight yip from him.

"Oh, Jeeves… ya scared me."

"My apologies, sir." Alfred set down the tray that carried a drink on it. It was in a delicate teacup.

"What is that?"

"Tea. I thought that Master Bruce might be a bit parched."

"Tea? He drinks tea?"

That's all that Flash needed and now both sides of his mind said, "Go after him! Go! Go!" and he obeyed. Flash grabbed the cup and zipped away, leaving a bewildered Alfred behind. It didn't take long to find Batman. He was sitting on a stalagmite; barely visible. Flash skidded to a halt next to where the pointy ears were visible. He held the cup over and down in front of the masked face.

"Alfred thought you'd be thirsty."

Batman wordlessly took the cup from the hand that was before him. He took a sip and hoped that if he ignored Flash he'd go away. That was not the case. In fact, an annoying sound of toe tapping reached his ears.

"What?"

"I just… couldn't help but notice the feminine teacup. It's so cute."

There was no response to Flash's comment. He waited again. Waited and waited, but no response came.

"Oh come on! I just insinuated that you are cute! You have to react to that one!"

"The set belonged to my mother."

Well, if that wasn't a kick in Flash's groin. If there was something Flash knew, you don't mention bring up Batman's parents. He took a step around the stalagmite with a nervous grin.

"Oops."

"Go away, Flash."

"But I came all this way to see you!"

"Go away."

"Bats, if it helps, I just wanna say that I really, really liked your voice."

It was after Flash said that, he disappeared. Batman paid no heed to the speedster's admission. If Zatanna and Circe liked it, why wouldn't anyone else. Another reason why he won't resurface for another few years.