When Dino Cavallone went to the front door to answer it after his doorbell rang through the house, he was expecting anything but to open the door and find his best friend standing on his doorstep, with a dazed expression and a large bruise that was unmistakably from someone's palm forming on his cheek. He swallowed back the hurt at seeing his friend like this and instead asked, "What happened to your face, Squalo?"
The addressed male blinked to clear the haze from his mind before he looked at the blond. He cocked his head to the side as he absentmindedly lifted his hand to rub at his cheek before he looked away in shame and mumbled, "We had an argument…"
"Squalo…" Dino frowned. He reached out and ghosted his fingertips against the bruise he could see forming beneath long, gloved fingers before he said in a quiet voice, "Arguments aren't supposed to involve someone getting hit in the face, Squalo. Did he hit you?"
The long-haired male's gaze was unfocused as he pondered how to answer the question. He could be honest and say yes, but he knew that would only make the older male pry into his business. He could lie, but he knew the other was far from stupid and wouldn't rest until he had been told the truth. Or he could simply say something in the middle and hope his friend would leave well enough alone.
…Who was he kidding? Telling the truth was the only option he had that wouldn't end with Dino demanding more answers from him than he would be willing to give.
"Yes." Squalo couldn't take another look at the blond. He knew why the older male was worried, and that it wasn't normal to be struck by a partner, but he wasn't used to feeling ashamed – especially of his own actions. He didn't like this feeling of not being able to face the one person who knew him best, the only one who he had ever really had in his whole life, and somewhere in the vulnerable part of him he had buried deep down as a teenager, he felt scared; the possibility of abandonment played over and over in his mind, and fear of being alone he had worked so hard to hide was quickly working its way back into his mind.
Would Dino leave him for being so weak…? That was the kind of thing he had feared ever since his parents had turned their backs on him…
"Squalo…" Always the empathetic one, Dino stepped back from his front door so that the smaller male could enter his home. He waited until the other had done so before he shut the door and escorted his friend to the living room. On the way, he asked, "How many times…?"
"First time. Don't worry about it."
"Squalo, I am worried!" Dino bit his lip as they walked into the living room and made their way to the couch located in the middle of the room before the entertainment system. "He's not supposed to be…!"
"I fuckin' know!" Squalo sighed. He took a deep breath as he tried to gather his thoughts; how was he supposed to explain to the other what he himself was struggling to comprehend. "I just… We usually just yell at each other… But he hit me because I burnt his steak…"
"Don't put up with that, Squalo; you don't deserve that at all. You're twenty-two; you're old enough to know that yourself without me having to tell you."
"…"
"Why don't you stay here for the night and think things over?"
Squalo shook his head. "He hasn't hit me before. He probably won't again. It'll be fine. Anyway, I need to look after Bel tonight for Lussu; I've gotta go home."
"Just bring him here; Lussuria isn't going to mind that." Dino sighed when his friend shook his head; how stubborn the younger could be…
"It's fuckin' fine, Bucking Horse! Leave it alone!" Squalo muttered something under his breath before he turned away to glare at the wall across from him as if it were the reason for his bad mood.
Dino, who knew how short a temper the younger had, changed the subject; he knew now what was going on in his friend's life, and if he kept pushing about it, Squalo was only going to get shitty with him, too. Instead, he said in a gentle manner, "Why don't we go and have lunch together, Squalo? It's been a while since we've done that."
The long-haired male glanced at his wrist watch. He made an annoyed grimace before he muttered, "Hurry the fuck up; I gotta get that brat from school in two hours."
"We have plenty of time. I'll drive you."
Dino listened politely to the other as Squalo cussed him out while the blond went to fetch his car keys. He didn't mind the other calling him all sorts of names, or acting as if it were Dino's fault he was in a bad mood; Dino never had been very good at getting mad at the person he loved most, after all.
The only problem was, even after ten years, Dino didn't think he would be telling the younger that, as a teenager, he had fallen hopelessly in love with someone he had come to terms with the idea may never love him back.
~~XX~~
Squalo was starting to get used to not seeing his boyfriend until he went to bed; back when they had still been teenagers, the older male hadn't been as reclusive, but these days it seemed the only times he was reassured his boyfriend really did exist was when he turned off all the lights in the house and found Xanxus in bed, where he had been all day.
"Voi! Get your fuckin' ass up!" Squalo grabbed the blankets from over his boyfriend and ripped them away so that he could actually see Xanxus and remember what he looked like these days. "You gonna say somethin' to me about hitting me earlier?!"
Xanxus cracked one eyelid open so that he could glare at the smaller male menacingly. In a dangerous tone, he growled, "Yeah. You don't shut the fuck up and I'll give you a matching one on your left side next."
Squalo's anger quickly diminished as it became replaced by hurt; he wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he had decided to confront his lover over what had happened earlier, but now that he was thinking about it, if he had wanted an apology, he should have known better…
It was rare for Squalo to give up like this. He wasn't one to be left without words, but it seemed that, at this moment, all he could do was close his mouth and slide silently into the bed next to Xanxus. He grabbed the blankets from where he had dropped them on the ground and pulled them back over their bodies, and for the first time in their entire eight-year relationship, he had his back to the stronger male.
"..." The hurt and defeat was clear in Squalo's voice when he next muttered in an attempt to at least get some positive attention from the man he loved. "…I've already got Bel into bed; he should be asleep by now…"
"…"
"It's the weekend tomorrow, so I was thinking the three of us could –"
"- Fuck up, shark trash!" Xanxus' elbow was thrust backwards with so much force, Squalo was sure he felt his ribs crack when it collided with them.
Squalo let out a yelp of pain before he hit the other back in anger. "You fuckin' idiot!"
Xanxus didn't retaliate; he instead closed his eyes again now that his lover had finally shut up. Squalo, however, couldn't fall asleep so easily; he was kept awake by the day's events playing through his mind, and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered; was there a reason after all for him to have been thinking about if he still loved Xanxus or not…?
Maybe, but still… Squalo was sure, deep down, he did still love his partner, even if he was no longer happy in their relationship.