This is a one shot I cooked up because I was upalled by the number of Johnlock story's. I wondered what John would thing of such a thing and decided to write it down. However I am aware that John would never read FanFiction he is just not that kind of guy, but it works for the story. So without further ado here it is.
"What!? What!? Do they know we're not gay?" The exclamation cut through the silence at 221B Baker street. John had been sitting with his computer mindlessly reading fanfiction when he came across some story's about him and Sherlock that greatly disgusted him.
"Hmmm," The reply floated back to him from the kitchen were Sherlock was doing something most likely disgusting. He had only heard John because of the volume at which he yelled.
"More than half of these story's say that we are," John continued knowing that he was probably talking to himself more than Sherlock, " I know their fanfiction's, but come on!"
Sherlock stuck his head through the door, "John, shut up, I'm thinking." He announced flatly and went back to his work.
"Sherlock do you even care that the world thinks we're gay?" John was a little put out by the fact that Sherlock was as uncaring as ever.
"John you know those things bore me, I have no use for the opinion of the world," Sherlock's answer came from the kitchen, "Now be quite."
"I wouldn't mind if there were one or two, that's only one or two people, I'm fine with that." John continued, ignoring Sherlock, "But more than half of these story's peg us as gay, don't they ever get board of writing the same thing again and again?"
There was no reply from Sherlock, but John hadn't expected one, talking to Sherlock was like talking to a brick wall sometimes. But it did allow John to talk out loud to himself without seeming crazy because he was actually talking to Sherlock.
"Look at them all!" John exclaimed again, "This one's a JohnLock and this one and this one and this one. They don't ever stop!"
John was very upset by now and simply could not help but rant some more. Not that ranting was getting him anywhere but it was making him feel a little better.
"This is worse than being called a confirmed bachelor! And that was in the paper, everyone reads the paper! Not everyone reads these story's, but most of them are the same. At least there's an ok amount of Sherlolly."
The last sentence of this got a reaction out of Sherlock, who stuck his head out of the kitchen to look at John. "Sherlolly?" He asked completely puzzled at the strange mushing of the two names.
"Yes, story's about you and Molly in a relationship," John clarified with a bit of satisfaction at the fact that Sherlock was dumbfounded.
"She's a distraction, I would never let that happen," He said as he withdrew his head to go back to his experiment.
John let a little smile play across his face at Sherlock's blindness when it came to some matters.
He pushed his laptop away and picked up the evening paper. He sat for some time reading and listening to Sherlock moving about in the kitchen, the anger at being called gay pushed to one side but not forgotten.