Hello all! And thank you for giving my very first Harry Potter Fanfic a try! Remus Lupin is probably my favorite character next to Ron Weasley, twins, and Luna. I'm not much for writing, but felt that a lot of the Lupin/Tonks stories out there just didn't satisfy what I had imagined their story to be like. So, I made my own missing moments for them. I hope you enjoy and as always comments good and bad are all welcome.

*CRASH

"Tonks!" cried Mrs. Weasley in exasperation, turning to look behind her.

"I'm sorry!" wailed Tonks, who was lying flat on the floor. "Its that stupid umbrella stand, that's the second time I've tripped over-"

But the rest of her words were drowned by a horrible, ear-splitting, blood curdling screech.

*Chapter Four- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

The First Time

Tonks inched into the long eerie hall that loomed before her, looking for a sign of anyone besides her and Mad-Eye from the Order.

"Hello?" she called out softly

Moody shuffled in through the archway loudly and let the door shut behind him. The only light source casting down the hall disappeared as they heard the click of the handle. Rolling her eyes, Tonks reached down into her pockets to retrieve her wand while taking a few short steps forward, making room for the large man behind her. Just as she was about to cry out 'Lumos' her feet hit something hard on the floor and she fell forward with a loud crash as her wand went flying from her hands. No sooner had she hit the floor than did loud piercing screams fill the hall.

'Filth! Half-Blood Monsters! Defiling the House of Black!"

Tonks could not pinpoint where the screeching was coming from as she struggled to maintain footing. Whatever she had tripped over was caught on her leg and awfully heavy. Her attempts to stand up were met with other falls onto her backside. She heard Moody bellowing about something behind her but she could not distinguish what over the unknown ladys screams. Suddenly there was light and Tonks turned to see two men come running down the hall. Siruis, she recognized, not from her youth but from the countless pictures of him hung in the Aurors office, ran straight past her to what looked like giant curtains flying madly about.

"SHUT UP YOU HAG!" he cried as he struggled to control them.

The other man came straight to her side and without uttering a word lifted a horrible looking umbrella stand off of her foot. The screaming stopped as he reached out his hand for hers and pulled her to her feet.

'Sorry about that.' He said with a sheepish smile. Tonks could not quite understand why he was the one apologizing. She was certain that it had been her that had caused all the ruckus. Before she could respond however, Sirius and Moody, who already seemed to be well acquainted, were now walking to greet them both. Sirius, whose face just a moment ago was full of anger, now seemed completely at peace from the sight of Tonks.

"Nymphadora!" Siruis boomed "My God! I haven't seen you since you were a little girl and now look at you!" He quickly wrapped her in a bear hug and she gave a surprised laugh. Sirius looked nothing like how he did when she had been little. It was obvious the years had been hard on him.

"Yes, I've grown into a real lady, tripping over umbrella stands and causing havoc." She grinned widely. " And call me Tonks. I find Nymphadora to be a mouthful and just plain horrid."

"Ah, well Tonks then." He said finally letting her go. " You can imagine my delight and pride when Dumbledore told me another one of my family members was joining the Order."

"Always a pleasure tarnishing the Black name." She said mockingly. " Get it from my mums side." She winked and Sirius gave a loud barking laugh.

"Good sense of humor too." He added "Which reminds me, why don't we move into the kitchen. Wouldn't want your dear old aunt awake again would you?"

"Oh was that who was screaming at us?" Tonks said as Sirius ushered the four of them into the room at the furthest end of the hall.

"Afraid so Ms. Tonks" answered the light brown haired man who had rescued her from the umbrella stand. He stood quite a bit taller than her in worn-out colorless clothes. His hair had been clumsily combed back and strands of it were falling in front of his face. Despite his obvious neglect in personal appearance, Tonks could tell that he was rather handsome and still young, though worn around the edges, much like Sirius. His clothes were quite a contrast to the vibrant blue shirt and purple hair she was sporting. She figured they must look a sight standing next to each other.

"No need for the formality." She laughed "You did just meet me with my arse on the floor. Just Tonks, please." She reached out her hand for him to shake.

"Remus Lupin." He said politely as he gripped her hand.

"Remus Lupin?" she said shocked. She had heard a great deal about him beforehand through Kingsley and the Weasleys. When she was first told that there was to be a werewolf in the Order she couldn't help but be a bit skeptical. She had dealt with certain werewolves before since she was an Auror and they certainly were never good experiences. When she voiced her concerns she remembered Mr. Weasley and Dumbledore assuring her that she had nothing to worry about, that Remus Lupin was a perfect gentleman despite his once a month condition. Standing before him now she couldn't help but realize how correct they were. He seemed so well mannered and soft spoken that it put Tonks uneasy. She was often told that her mannerisms lacked a certain tact and that she was always over stepping her boundaries. People around the office sometimes compared her to Mad-Eye, though Tonks thought for sure she was no such thing. She at least knew that taking your eye out in front of people should be off limits, and that was something Moody could not seem to comprehend.

"I see you've heard of me then." Remus replied with an uneasy smile. He had been anxious all day, nervous to meet the new members of the Order who might not know about his lycanthropy, or worse, knew and would be frightened to stand next to him. He had hoped that the cousin of Sirius wouldn't be inclined to such prejudices since he had heard she had her own unique talents.

"Of course I've heard of you!" she continued smiling and shaking his hand more feverously. "I just didn't imagine you'd be so…so…" she trailed for a loss of words.

"Shabby?" offered Sirius. "Old? Dreadfully boring?"

"Handsome." Tonks finally said, giving Sirius a mischievous wink. Sirius and Moody let out a startled laughed as Remus smiled awkwardly and only stared at the young woman in front of him. It had been a very long time since any women complimented on his looks in a positive light. Though he was sure she was only saying it to be polite and cause a laugh, he couldn't remember his wits. He thought that somewhere in his youth he had learned how to react properly and make a joke, but had long forgotten it by now. Instead he simply stood still until Sirius came to his rescue.

"You've still got it Remus!" Sirius chortled as he slapped him on the back and Remus let out a breath of air.

"I think Mrs. Weasley said the same thing about him once as well." added Moody as a side note

"Yes, and we might've believed her if she didn't say the same thing about you Moody." started Sirius stilling laughing.

Just then they heard a loud door bell ring and not but a second after, they heard the screams of Mrs. Sirius echo down the hall.

"Oh Merlin…" mumbled Sirius. " I told them not to ring the door bell." He headed off out of the kitchen with his good mood vanishing as quickly as it had seemed to come. Tonks stared after him, a bit put off by his sudden mood swing. Remus must have noticed because he came beside her quietly and said "Hes had a rough go at it you know."

"Oh I'm certain he has,' she replied thoughtfully

"Doesn't like being in this house one bit either!" Moody joined in while settling himself down in a chair at the table.

"I don't blame him for that. Scary place, isn't it?" she replied joining him.

The rest of the hour went on pleasantly as two or three people began arriving at a time, soon filling up the entire kitchen area. Tonks recognized several people from the Ministry and was quickly introduced proudly by Sirius to the rest. Lupin stood back and merely observed the new and old members talking. He stood far in the corner avoiding as much polite conversation as he could. He did not feel nearly as jovial as his friend was for the uniting of the Order, but he also realized that this was the most excited Lupin had seen Sirius in a long while and decided to not interfere with the momentary happiness it was bringing him. Tonks, much like her cousin seemed ecstatic to be included in such a secret revolt against the Dark Lord. Looking at them both talking animatedly to Mr and Mrs. Weasley, Lupin couldn't help but reflect back on another time when he had once himself been just as eager to join the Order of the Phoenix. He grimaced slightly at the memory. For him, it had been the beginning of the end of all he once cherished. It had been a time before he realized the sacrifice he was making, before the loss and abandonment of everything that had made him a whole person. His friends, his job, the life he knew all vanished within a few short years afterward. They had loss nearly all their members then. How many would it be this time? he asked himself. He struggled hard to shake these dreadful thoughts away but the haunting past did not seem to want to let him forget.

"Enjoying yourself sulking in the corner?"

Lupin jumped at the realization that Tonks was now right beside him. He gave her a weak smile in response to her question and continued to face forward and watch the guests continue to mingle around the large kitchen. He did not want to encourage her to keep a conversation with him. He was in no mood to even try and fake enthusiasm and her overly excited demeanor was sure to see through his half smiles and question him further about it. A discussion of his feelings were the last thing he wanted to bring up in this setting, especially to a young woman whom had just met him. He stood there silently, making no attempt at extending his response.

He was unpleasantly surprised however that after several minutes of silence between them she did not leave his side. Instead of moving away from him to find a more suitable companion as Lupin was subtle trying to suggest to her, she merely stood there next to him, waiting for further explanation of his 'sulking' mood.

If there was one thing Lupin could not be it was rude and after another moments hesitation to see if she would take his hint and leave (she did not) Lupin felt obligated to speak.

"Sometimes…" he began slowly "I feel that I'm as old as Dumbledore and yet not any wiser for it." He knew his voice was dripping with sadness but it was for precisely this reason he did not want to speak.

"Well that's just silly," Tonks replied automatically, still holding onto a bright smile. Lupin turned to her with a curious look. "Nobody can be THAT old without learning something right? Besides, its better than being an adult who seems to be cursed with the mind of a child." Her last words were an obvious mimic

Lupin let out a light laugh. "Is that what Moody says?"

"More or less" she shrugged. "I believe the exact wording had the term immature muddled in there somewhere."

Lupin gave another laugh much to his surprise. She certainly descends from the Blacks, he thought. There was a moments interruption as Sturgis came bounding up to quickly greet them. It had been barely three sentences of a 'hello, how are you?' though, before he spotted Sirius across the room and excused himself again.

"Makes you wonder what will happen to all of us, doesn't it?" Tonks said thoughtfully while watching Sturgis continue to cross the kitchen. Lupin was caught off guard from the sudden change of tone in her voice. The question, that had just moments ago been on his very mind, seemed unnatural for someone seemly so excited about the whole ordeal. Lupin had certainly never thought of such things when he first joined. He had been convinced back then that they were invincible and never dwelt on the what-ifs. He turned trying to read her expression more clearly, openly inviting himself more into where this was leading than he originally planned.

"I feel as though people can only take so much heartbreak before giving up themselves." She turned to meet Lupins eyes and he shifted uncomfortably. He wondered just how much she had learned about him prior their meeting. If she had been speaking with Molly Weasley, he was sure it would have been everything from his first word to the color of his socks.

"But than I suppose without the idea of loss, we wouldn't know what we're fighting for anymore, would we?" she continued as her eyes locked with his. A long moment was filled with silence as Lupin pondered her words carefully. The look on her face was unreadable and Lupin could not tell if she was completely serious about them or even if she was talking directly to him or not. The whole conversation seemed to have the ambience of a random thought she might've just said aloud and Lupin had happened to be standing there. But her unrelenting eye contact made it eventually clear to Lupin that she was indeed speaking to him and not to the room.

"I believe Moody was wrong about you." He said quietly

She smiled but before they could continue any further in their deep discussion, a sudden hush traveled throughout the room as Dumbledore, the last of their arriving party, made his way through the kitchen entrance.