Waaahh, my first fanfic~! Hope you like it!
There's a Skillet reference in there, easy to find. Cookies to those who do~
We all have our demons.
He knows he's a monster.
He's the Kyuubi container, a vessel for a demon.
He knows what people think. He can see the looks people give him. Before, he didn't know, and it hurt because they hated him for no reason. It hurt because they hated his existence. It hurt, so he hid it behind a mask of a clueless, goofy child, a prankster, a joker-
(dead last, dunce, annoying, but alwaysalways smile)
Before, he didn't know why. And now he does, but surprisingly, he doesn't feel hurt or angry or sad. There's just a numbness that comes with his new understanding.
(I am numb and unfeeling inside, but alwaysalways smile, and never give up)
He is a monster.
But there's nothing he can do to change that, so he embraces it.
(I'm going to find a way to get rid of your hate, Kurama!)
...xxx...
We all fight our demons.
He knows he's a monster.
He's the last Uchiha, the only living possessor of the deadly Mangekyo Sharingan.
At first, Itachi is his demon. Hatred fed him, revenge was his life, and through it all, the ghost of Itachi hung over his shoulder, and he hated it because it made him remember.
(Hate me. And when your eyes are like mine, find me.)
But after Itachi's dead and he's got nothing to live for, he discovers the truth. He's been living a lie and the brother he hates [hated] loved him sososo much, and it hurts, it hurts.
(I am an avenger.)
He is a monster.
But this is the road he's walked for so long, and he doesn't know any other path. So he embraces it.
(Give me my brother's eyes.)
...xxx...
But sometimes, we become the demon.
She is not a monster.
She has no bloodline limit, no special technique. She is mediocre. Average.
And she hated it. Hated it because she got left behind, watching their backs fade into the distance, and left her crying like a child in her weakness.
But after he's left to chase revenge, and he leaves to train and chase the avenger, they're both gonegonegone and she's alonealonealone, and so weak and it hurts.
(This time, watch my back!)
She goes to Tsunade. She gains strength and skill and power. She can savesavesave and does so, learning an unique skill that her boys will never have. She's proud because she's not a weakling anymore. She's strong, she's beautiful, she's everything she ever wanted to be.
But it's not enough, not nearly enough.
Because at their reunion, she can't move. Can't think, can't breathe. She's too used to being weak. And as she stands there, frozen, she watches as they fight each other and she knows that they're still leaving her in the dust, still leaving her behind to cry and cry and never catch up.
No more, she thinks.
She goes to Anko. Anko is strong and experienced, but most importantly, she's cruel. She doesn't care about pleas for mercy, smiles at people's pain, and never looks back. Anko says no. She will not teach Sakura. She cannot teach Sakura. To be Anko is to take pleasure in the torture of others, to be sadistic and cruel and cold. But Sakura cares too much. Anko knows, and she says no.
She goes to Temari. Temari is the tough girl, the smirking, ruthless ninja that survived. She practically raised her brothers, all while protecting Kankuro and herself from Gaara's homicidal tendencies. She says no. Temari doesn't know how to teach her to be ruthless. Everything she did was out of necessity, to survive, and Sakura's too full of emotions to think of only survival. Temari knows, and she says no.
She goes to Gaara. Gaara is a killing machine. If anyone could teach her how to kill her heart, it would be Gaara. But Gaara says no. His killing urges were because of the Shukaku. It is an instinct for him, and he cannot teach that. Sakura's instincts are to save, to be compassionate. Gaara knows, and he says no.
She is at a loss. She doesn't know what to do. Everyone is saying no.
She goes to Iruka. Iruka listens. He understands, he gets it, because he used to be the same way too- unable to kill his heart [he can do it now, but he hates it and that's why he teaches]. And, surprisingly, it's him that teaches her to move despite her emotions, to pull on masks, to follow orders and killkillkill.
She learns well.
And she becomes a monster.
She savessavessaves one day then killskillskills the next, and her world becomes a whirlwind of savekillsavekillsavekill until everything is just mechanical for her and she savekills without a thought, and doesn't care.
She thinks only of her boys. She's caught up. Finally.
And at their next reunion on the bloody battlefield, the avenger is shocked to see her closing a near-fatal wound in seconds (save) and the Jinchuuriki is shocked to see her punch through a man's chest with ease the next moment (kill).
(I savekillsavekill and I must confess that I feel like a monster)
She is a monster.
But she chose this path, learned strength and then coldness, and became the demon.
And she revels in it.