Pause
Fire
Casey was slumped forward in the hard-wooden chair, head hanging down towards his chest, arms stretched behind his back and roughly bound with plastic ties that cut into his flesh further every time he moved. His right eye was swollen shut and blood was running down his face, from a deep cut on his cheekbone and his split lip. He could barely feel his hands anymore and his head was pounding furiously as he struggled to stay conscious. He had no idea how long he had been in this dark, damp smelling room, only one man had been in to see him, questioning him, jeering at him, mocking him for being stupid enough to get involved in something he should have left alone, that he had been in way over his head. But he didn't know Casey, didn't know that he would always put the welfare of others before his own, no matter what the personal risk to himself or the danger he might face as a result. He was one of the most selfless people ever.
A small familiar sound made Casey tilt his head a little to look sideways at the man. The strike of a match. The tiny flame took hold and flew through the semi darkness at the far side of the room where debris and trash was piled up, it burst into flames immediately.
"Get yourself out of this one, firefighter," the man's voice sneered as he approached Casey and shoved him violently so the chair fell over. Casey landed on the floor, with a thud and a winded groan as his head hit concrete, stunning him. He struggled in vain against the bonds but all they did was cut further into his wrists. From his left eye he could see booted feet walk away and he heard a door bang as he was left alone.
The fire was crackling and popping dangerously close to where Casey lay but it wasn't the fire he was worried about. It was the smoke. His eyes streamed and he coughed relentlessly, his body struggling for oxygen. Unable to protect himself from the deadly fumes and smoke in the small room, he knew he would die from smoke inhalation and as he fell unconscious, his last clear thoughts were of Severide. He was glad he wasn't here, glad that he was safe, happy he was unharmed. Just as consciousness faded away, Casey imagined he heard his voice.
Severide had burst into the smoke ridden building without waiting for the CFD, ripping of his shirt and tying part of it around his face to cover his nose and mouth. Two police officers were shouting after him but he ignored them and tore away into the building's interior. Boden had given him permission to ride along with the CPD and they had finally managed to discover Casey's whereabouts. He'd been missing for two days and Severide's head wasn't in the game at work.
It didn't take Severide very long to find Casey. He followed the trail of smoke, breaking through the door without a second thought for his own safety, he just had to get Casey out, no matter the consequences. Smoke was billowing from the room and for a moment, Severide had to cover his face against it. Inside, the flames were roaring and crackling, growing stronger by the minute, sucking all the oxygen from the remaining air.
He went in.
The bindings held Casey firmly to the chair, Severide wondered to himself if it would be quicker if he just dragged Casey along on the chair rather than waste time trying to free him. But he managed to get the bindings off easily so he could pick Casey up. He slung his dead weight over his shoulder and raced out of the room, running back through the flames that now danced along the corridor to the exit.
The CFD were on the scene when Severide emerged from the building with Casey over his shoulder. Severide emerged through the acrid black smoke that was now billowing freely out of the exit doors. He almost staggered as he ran a clear distance from the building so he could lay Casey on the ground. Despite coughing unrelentingly from smoke inhalation, Severide knelt down by Casey's inert and bloody form, trying to start chest compressions without wasting a second. Only now could Severide see the huge and very real extent of Casey's injuries. There was black soot covering Casey's lips and nose. He was pale underneath all the grime and dirt. Chest unmoving without Severide's compressions. His wrists raw and bloody. Ribs and abdomen bruised and cut.
The paramedics had headed straight over to them. "Ok… we got it from here, buddy," one of them told Severide, who moved away gladly to let one of them maintain the compressions on Casey's chest.
There was an array of frantic action taking place to examine Casey and get him breathing on his own again. ECG pads were placed on his bare chest. They inserted an IV cannula and started giving him fluids, and prepared to intubate Casey but there was a tense exchange, the paramedics knew more drastic measures were needed. "I can't get this tube in…"
"We need to trache him…"
One of them continued compressions, the other prepared a tracheotomy kit.
Blood welled out as the blade made the first swift, deep incision.
"Stop. Tube's in... ok, get him bagged..."
The ambu-bag was connected to the tube and Casey's chest began moving up and down as his lungs received the oxygen his body so badly needed. The paramedic taped some gauze over the incision on his throat, sealing it.
Severide studied the portable monitor, his heart rate was rising, becoming less erratic, his oxygen intake was increasing. He let out a sigh of relief and sat back, grabbing Casey's hand. "Thank you…" he breathed out, staring down at Casey's face.
A little later Boden found Severide waiting in the ER. He was sitting down with his head in his hands, covered in soot, wearing a rumpled shirt and smelling like smoke. "What the hell happened?" Boden questioned him, not bothering with any formal greeting, too concerned with the health of his truck lieutenant.
"Found him too late…" Severide muttered.
Boden's heart plummeted. "What?"
"He wasn't breathing when I got to him… don't know how long for…"
"What happened?" Boden asked, trying to get a clear response.
"I still don't know. He was tied to a chair, the place was on fire," Severide answered.
"They're still working on him?"
Severide nodded.
"How badly was he burnt?"
"Just his arms I think, maybe second degree… but he wasn't breathing for so long, they nearly had to trache him, his airways were swollen and…"
"Kelly, it doesn't sound like he was found too late," Boden told him.
"They won't let me see him," he spoke.
"I'll see if I can find anything out. Hold tight."
Severide was standing up when Boden returned. "Anything?"
"He's awake," Boden responded.
"He is? They haven't told me anything, wouldn't let me see him…"
"You can see him now, he's not talking apparently…"
Casey didn't look as bad as Severide had expected when he walked into the ER bay. He was bruised and his eye was swollen, but he'd been cleaned up, the only remains of the fire were seen in his blond hair and under the pristine white bandages on both arms, wrapped from his knuckles to his elbows. He was attached to monitoring equipment and wearing a nasal cannula and hospital gown.
"Hey, Casey…" Severide began gently, seeing that his eyes were open but he hadn't looked at him as he'd entered. He pulled a stool over and sat down by Casey's side. "Your hair could do with a wash, surprised one of the nurses hasn't offered," he spoke, not knowing what else to say because his friend hadn't even acknowledged his presence, or Boden's, who was standing by the end of the gurney now.
Boden cleared his throat. "How are you feeling, lieutenant?" he asked with an air of authority. "Are you in any pain?"
Severide cast his eyes over to his chief. "Have they given him something?"
"Nothing that would do this," Boden responded quietly. "I'm going to speak to the doctor again…"
"Oxygen deprivation?" Severide asked him before he walked away.
Boden looked back at Casey, he gave a small uncharacteristic shrug and then left.
"Bet your throat hurts, right? You can have some ice chips, if you want? They said you're not allowed to drink too much yet. Do you want me to get some ice chips for you?"
Severide was only met with silence. Casey hadn't moved an inch, he was staring down at the standard issue hospital sheet that was covering him.
He swallowed. "I'm glad you're all right, Casey… sorry I wasn't faster, they didn't know where you were…" He held back a sigh at Casey's silence. "Are you comfortable? Warm enough?"
Severide was actually relieved when Boden returned. He stood up, smiling at Casey, then headed over to Boden.
Boden spoke in a lowered voice. "They're going to send someone from psych down, they don't think this is physical…"
"It must be," Severide said immediately. He shook his head. "He wouldn't just stop talking… look at him…"
"Kelly, we don't know what happened to him, the doctors don't know what happened to him, no one does…"
"Was he… was he…" Severide couldn't bring himself to say the word.
"There's no physical evidence that anything other than being beaten and trapped in that fire happened to him," Boden told him, repeating what the doctor had explained.
"Physically he'll ok, right?"
Boden nodded. "You've seen the burns. He also has some broken ribs and an intercostal muscle strain but they can't do much other than painkillers and ice apparently. He'll recover, physically he's going to be fine."
Severide turned his head back to Casey, he'd not moved, he'd still not even acknowledged their presence. "Can I do anything? What do I do?"
"Just wait, we don't need to worry too much yet…"
"Worry? I'm way past worry!" Severide's voice raised.
"Kelly…" Boden spoke, quietening Severide, he'd just seen Casey flinch at the raised voice.
Severide turned to see Casey still lying in the hospital bed, eyes cast down. He looked to his chief and then stepped back into the bay. He closed the door behind himself.
"That's better, isn't it? Bit quieter, yeah?" he spoke, nodding encouragingly. He pulled the chair over from the corner of the room so he could be nearer to Casey, he sat down. "Get some rest. I'll be here the whole time; how does that sound?"
Casey's head moved a little and he looked at Severide.
Severide smiled, hoping to reassure him.
When Casey woke a while later, he discovered Severide sitting watchfully in a chair by his right side. Severide was speaking to him but he wasn't listening, he looked around the room, taking him a moment to realise he was in the hospital.
"Matt?"
"Why am I here?" he questioned, his voice hoarse.
"Smoke inhalation, and some second-degree burns. You broke some ribs, strained a muscle on your chest wall, you'll be fine."
"Where…" he swallowed. "Where exactly is here?"
"You're still in the ER," Severide told him.
After a moment Casey spoke again. "Did you find me?"
"Yes."
Casey looked towards him again. His lower lip trembled. "Thank you."
Severide just smiled at him. Pleased he was talking and seemed relatively healthy. "Are you in any pain?"
"M'fine. Thanks."
Severide nodded. "Good. You need to stay here overnight, maybe tomorrow night as well," Severide told him
"Why?"
"Smoke inhalation. You… you weren't breathing and they struggled to intubate…"
Slowly Casey's hand went to his throat, he frowned a little as he touched the gauze.
"Yeah, they were about to trache you," Severide explained. "You'll get a nice little room all to yourself soon, they'll come and take you up, I should be able to stay for a while as well."
"I feel fine."
"Matt… no one expects to feel fine after what happened…"
"Do you know what happened?" Casey asked him.
"Erm… no."
"Ok. Good… does anyone know?"
"No… Matt, what did happen?" he questioned.
"Nothing."
Severide nodded his head with resignation. "Of course."
"When can I go home?" he asked again, voice breaking with the strain of talking.
"Matt, you can barely talk, and you're short of breath, and I already said; they're definitely keeping you overnight for observation, and possibly tomorrow night as well."
"Can you get the doctor…"
"Matt, he's not going to say anything different to what I've just said, I spoke to him whilst you were sleeping, you can't use puppy dog eyes on him, he won't let you leave."
"I'll sign out AMA…"
"Hell no, buddy, not happening. All right?"
Casey's shoulders dropped. "Sorry…"
"Cops also need to speak to you, but for now if they ask, I can say you're sleeping," Severide told him.
"You can tell them… tell them I don't remember…"
"Matt, the guy got away," Severide told him.
"I don't know what happened," Casey said adamantly.
Casey returned to the apartment he shared with Severide two days later. Severide had given him a ride home and he walked slowly behind him as they made their way inside, Severide put Casey's bag down.
"Are you all right?" Severide asked him, he'd not spoken much since the police had entered his hospital room earlier that morning.
Casey nodded in response. "Thanks for the ride…"
"Yeah, no…" Severide began but Casey had already walked away. "No problem…" he finished with a sigh as he heard Casey's bedroom door close. Severide wasn't going to pester him or get in his way, he knew Casey well enough, he knew he'd just push him away, so he went out and let Casey have the place to himself until he returned in the evening.
Severide spent the entire time he was out worrying about Casey, so much so he almost rear-ended car at the crossroad by their apartment block. When he got home it looked like Casey had stayed in his bedroom, tentatively Severide knocked on his door, upon hearing nothing he opened it and entered.
He stopped in his tracks as he heard the distinctive sound of Casey's muffled sobs. He was on his side, back facing the door but Severide could see the outline of the bed covers trembling as Casey cried.
Severide's heart tore in two. "Matty…"
The sobs stopped, but only because Casey had frozen, holding his breath.
"It's all right, it's actually good to cry. Therapeutic in a way," Severide said, slowly approaching the side of the bed so he could face Casey. "Matt, breathe."
Casey let out a shuddering breath and the sobs continued. He cried and cried until his body was too exhausted to stay awake.
Severide remained knelt by the side of the bed, unable to do anything but watch as Casey had cried himself to sleep. He hadn't even been able to hold his hand.
It went on for weeks. Casey's physical wounds healed, but emotionally he was all over the place. Severide was at a loss, and he felt like he was lying to everyone at the firehouse, telling them Casey was fine and he'd be back on shift soon. Soon was a very long way off. The worst thing about it was not knowing what to do to help him, no one knew what had happened to Casey in the days he was missing, what exactly had taken place to traumatise him like it had.
At his recent check-up, which Severide had almost had to drag him to, there was talk of seeing a therapist, even talk of an in-patient psychiatric stay, but the doctor didn't want to force Casey into anything, it was only likely to make things worse. Casey was only sleeping when he was too exhausted to keep his eyes open, he was only eating when Severide physically helped him, he was wetting the bed, and only showering and brushing his teeth when Severide stood in the bathroom with him.
It was like something inside of him had broken. He was almost unrecognisable.
TBC