Tingles Horrible Adventure (A.K.A The most random story ever to come from the depths of the authors mind)
Tingle got up at 7:00 am then went back to sleep just in time to doge a bullet, an axe and a poisonous dart that were aimed at his head but then got back up five seconds later to grab his glass of warm milk which he dumped in the garden to avoid poisoning, Tingle went downstairs at the correct phase to avoid machine gun bullets that were aimed at him, got the paper but not the rocket nor the attempted hit-and-run by a very dangerous monster truck armed with saw blades, ate a bowl of cobra-free cereal with milk that was free of the Martha, the T and the Taokaka viruses. Tingle was at the bus stop waiting for the bus when his friends pulled up at the bus stop in a sports car which had tingle deciding which seat he would take, when he did a flaming tracker jacker hive barley missed him.
"It's friday, friday gotta get down on friday." sang Tingle very horribly in fact it was so bad that his friends in the car kicked him out of the car just in time to save him from a random exploding limo that was next to it, where he met Giraham near a nearby fountian. Tingle later played basketball with Giraham while advoiding gangs that wanted Tingle dead, let him listen to his music trough his headphones which cause a sniper's bullet to miss by an inch and later attended a party where Tingle said very intimate things to Giraham.
"Get the hell out." said Giraham as he hugged Tingle very tightly with Tingle's face smashed on the top of Giraham's exposed chest. When Tingle left the party everyone had way to much fun with the balloons at the party that they died. Tingle later went to the mall on black friday and got a pair of jeans but before somehow when he got on a stage, he was in a skirt singing a jeans song so he got off the stage to not only doge two random 13-year old drivers who flew on the stage in identical sedans from the window. He later got the jeans but not before hitching a ride with a group of motorcyclists wearing leather pants.
"Baby, baby ooooooooh baby baby." loudly sang Tingle in the bikers ear which got him thrown off the bike so Tingle walked home as the bikers scattered atoms were all arrested by the cops for excessing the speed limit by over 9000 miles. Tingle later jumped on a ship and later survived a shipwreck on a island made entirely of garbage called Plastic Beach. Then he later got caught up in some sort of battle between The Gorillaz and The Boogieman on the island where everything somehow missed him completely as he walked up to the coast where a random whale swallowed him thus keeping him safe from Russel and Cyborg Noodle. The Whale later spat Tingle out to the shore of Serial Killer Summer Camp where all of the camp tried to kill him but somehow he came out alive with a red balloon tied to his back.
"Skyworld here I come!" Yelled Tingle as he flew higher than a rocket but he flew too high to the point where nearly got ran over by Samus's ship, All three Arwings, All three Landmasters and Ridley where eventually a single breath from Tingle's mouth broke the Ballon and sent him crash landing into the temple of Palutanea.
"Okay any ideas on how we can convince Miyamoto to create another new Kid Icarus game to outsell Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance?" asked Paultanea to her squad who were secretly playing Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance on their 3DS's hidden under their desks.
"By my maps for everyone's souls!" yelled Tingle which caused a moment of awkward silence among the goddess and her angels which was followed by everyone firing their weapons at Tingle which all missed him for some reason and then he fell down from a cloud and onto the side of the Square Einx headquarters whose workers were either working on Final Fantasy Verses XIII or Kingdom Hearts 3 but after seeing Tingle, they lost any Idea on what they were doing.
When Tingle crashed landed it was near his home which he celebrated by dancing around very silly in the field which multiple bullets tried to hit him but all missed. Then he fell backwards in slow motion into a bathtub full of water which appeared on his lawn form some reason. He later woke up on Tingle Island which was in the middle of a war with Toon Link Island over about 380,000,0000,000,000,000,000 rupees which Tingle knew that he stole from Toon Link while he was sleeping. So he ditched his own people by hijacking A miniature king of red lions and sailing away as fast as he could from the giant king of red lions which was 38,000,000,0000,000,000,000,000 times as taller and deadlier as the original.
"Help me doctor!" begged Tingle when all of a sudden The Tardis appeared right next to Tingle and out of it came the tenth doctor who simply kicked him into the ocean and later went back into the Tardis while Tingle fell into the ocean swimming for his life from various sea creatures who happened to be big fans of Toon Link. Then all of a sudden the Daleks appeared lead by the Silence and the Cybermen.
"Awww come one what did Tingle do to deserve this!" complained Tingle when all of a sudden a spirt Wonder Meow appeared and saved Tingle from his demise by eating everything that posed as a threat to Tingle and washing it down by drinking the whole ocean. But when it did The Emperor of Atlantis declared Tingle 'The most hated man in atlantis' because Tingle exposed Atlantis to the outside world and he looked like an elf version of Michael Jackson who The Emperor secretly hated. So from there Tingle ran for his life with an angry mob of mer people who chased him like fishes out of water but then the Wonder Meow that drank the ocean exploded, thus returning the ocean and giving the mer people the advantage. Suddenly Tingle found a door with branch-like arms which appeared in front of his eyes which grabbed him and ate him alive which caused him to fall down a pit which an infinite amount of the never gonna give you up music video was showing.
"Tingle Wake up, Wake up!" yelled the voice of Toon Link which seemingly rang throughout the pit which caused everything to fade to black, then a shining light appeared and Tingle woke up in the middle of the Smash Mansion garden right next to a barrel of orphan tears with Toon Link standing in front of him with a scowl on his face.
"Why in God's name did you drank an entire barrel of Orphan tears in the middle of broad daylight?!" Demanded Toon Link.
"Uhhhh….. Because Tingle could?" replied Tingle as a flaming tile nearly hit him, when they looked in the direction of where the tile came from, they saw that the entire Mansion was on fire. When Toon Link turned around to face Tingle , Tingle decided to flee and take a vacation somewhere to lay low for a year or twenty.
Author's note The moment I learned Tingle was an asset trophy, I wanted to do him. Now that is finished I'm gonna get working on Six again and my other contest entries even my overdue Swapped which I have serious Writers block for. Hope I can finish them soon.