Summery: After getting fired from the park, Mordecai and Rigby become T.U.F.F agents. What new challenges await them in this new career? Will they finally learn some responsibility and discipline?
Rated T for language, graphic violence, and some alcohol. Will also feature characters from Ren & Stimpy, Dick Figures, Kung Fu Panda, Halo, Rango, Llamas with Hats, Horton Hears A Who, and more. Upcoming pairings include Mordecai x Margaret, Dudley x Kitty, and Rigby x OC. No lemons and not that much sexual content.
Note: The park that is the setting for Regular Show is part of Petropolis here. Actually, it's all a huge city with a name I'll determine later, and Petropolis is just a district of it, and the park is in another district.
This is my first crossover here. Enjoy!
Another hot, sweaty, summer day. The sun beat down mercilessly on the park. Though it was not so hot as to prevent the tourists and guests from playing, relaxing and enjoying their day, it was more than enough to make Mordecai and Rigby hate their lives.
There had been a huge party the previous evening, and Benson had assigned them to pick up all the trash that had been left around. There were wrappers, empty soda and beer cans, half-eaten food, bags of chips, and all sorts of litter dispersed all over the place. It would take hours for two slackers to pick it all up.
"Man, does this uber-blow or what?" Rigby shouted at Mordecai. Beads of sweat trickled down his face as he stabbed a beer can with his stick and stuck it into his trash bag.
"Dude, save your energy." His best friend snapped back. His face was just as sweaty as Rigby's. "We've only been out here an hour, and we're going to be out here for a long time today, and we need to keep our cool if we're going to get anything done."
"KEEP OUR COOL! How can we keep our cool in this heat?"
"Well, I'm not exactly enjoying the heat either!"
"Dude, I got a spear here! Don't think I'm afraid to use it!" Rigby dropped his bag and raised his stick, its sharp pointed tip pointed at Mordecai.
"Woah! Dude, calm down!" Mordecai raised his arms in defense, suddenly getting nervous.
Rigby suddenly came to his senses. He was about to stab the blue jay who had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. And for what? Just for a slight agitation and complaints about the heat? They have had worse reasons to argue in the past.
"I'm sorry dude." Rigby said calmy as he lowered his stick, grabbed up his bag again, and started picking up trash again.
"It's cool dude." Mordecai smiled.
"Cool?"
"Okay, bad choice of words I guess." Mordecai giggled. Both friends got a small laugh out of that.
"You know, I thought you liked it when we pick up trash." Mordecai said after a while. "You find all sorts of cool knick-knacks. What's that saying you go by? One man's junk is another man's pleasure?"
"Well, yeah," Rigby replied, "but it's just SO HOT OUT today. And it's not all just random junk we're picking up like normal. It's just the trash after of a party. There's nothing here but beer cans and leftover food, unless you want to eat the leftovers!" Tauntingly, he stabbed a half-eaten sandwich and shook it up at Mordecai.
"Eww! No freaken' thanks dude!" Mordecai snapped.
Still giggling, Rigby slipped the sandwich into his garbage bag. "The other thing is like you said." he became serious again. "There's a ton of trash out here. We're going to be out here pretty much all day." The boys looked all over the park and were reminded of the big job they still had to do.
"Yeah, it would be nice if we had a few more guys to help us out." Mordecai moped in agreement. "But there's really no point in standing around complaining." He started to get back to picking up the trash.
"And to make things worse, it's suppose to rain later on today." Rigby whined.
"Well then, lets try to finish up before that happens. And if not, a little water will cool us down, won't it?" Suddenly, Mordecai's stick stopped and vibrated in his hand. He had struck something heavy and metal. "Woah! What the heck was that?"
Mordecai and Rigby crounched down near the metal object. It was half-buried into the ground. The top bit that was showing was round, smooth on top, and a brillaintly gleaming gold. Surprisingly, it was not rusted at all. It also seemed to have a red brush of some sort sticking up from the top.
"What's with the brush?" Rigby asked.
"I don't know, dude." Mordecai replied as he reached for it. "Here, help me pull it out."
Both of them gripped the object, their ams tangled up, and started pulling straight up in unison. The earth held on pretty tight though. The object must have been stuck in there for decades, perhaps centuries. Slowly though, the duo felt the object coming free of the earth, inch by inch, and they kept pulling.
At last, the object came free, and Mordecai lifted it up, as Rigby fell back. It was a golden gladiator helmet. Where the dirt had not corroded and covered the metal, it gleamed in the sunlight. Both boys stared at in in awe for a moment.
"That's a pretty-looking helmet!" Rigby said quietly. And then suddenly, an idea struck him. "Oo! I got it!" He exclaimed. "Let's go sell it to the museum!"
"That, is sooo a good idea!" Mordecai tuned in.
"YEEEEAAHH!" The partners high fived quick.
"But we kind of have to finish the job here." Mordecai's excitement died down.
"Screw the job!" Rigby snarled. "Let's make some cash!" And before Mordecai could say another word, Rigby snatched the helmet out of his hands. He was about to turn around and head towards the park entrance when suddenly, his eye was caught by some writing on the side of the helmet.
"Dude! We're not selling it now! Let's just finish up here, then we can sell it!" Mordecai yelled back. Clearly the heat was getting to him.
"Hold on, there's something written here." Rigby said calmly. He squinted and began to read the inscription.
'With this upon your head, recite our cry,
And your brothers will come to stand you by.'
"What?" Mordecai asked. plainly weirded out by the saying, as Rigby was.
"I have no idea what it means."
"Well, it sounds like you're suppose to say something, and then some guys will come to help you or something."
Some guys will come to help you. Suddenly, in Rigby's mind sparked another brilliant idea. "Dude! That's it!"
"What's it?"
"We just have to call these guys here, and they'll help us clean up the mess here, and we'll be done that much sooner!"
Mordecai looked at his friend with a puzzled look. Rigby seemed completely delusional. "Dude, it's an ancient helmet. You really think putting it on and saying some words will call a bunch of warriors?"
"Well, with all the crazy stuff that happens around here, it's worth a shot, don't you think?" Clearly, Rigby's spirits were not down, he was more excited than ever.
"Hm. Point taken." Mordecai replied. Rigby lifted the helmet over his head to put it on. "But dude, even if this does work, how can you possibly know the words to the cry?"
The helmet resting on his head, Rigby took a deep breath and shouted "THIS IS SPARTA!" and with that, suddenly, a dark storm cloud started swirling around the park, directly over the area where Mordecai and Rigby stood. A strong, yellow light beamed down from the eye of the storm, and right around the ground within a radius of at least five yards with Rigby at the center. As the light shone on the ground, suddenly, a skeleton's hand reached up from the earth, and clawed its way up. Following the claw was a skeleton warrior, dressed in a full asortment of armor, and a helmet much like Rigby's. And then another skeleton warrior rose from the earth as well, and then another, and another.
Until finally, at least fifty skeleton warriors, each wearing armor, and armed with swords, shields, spears, daggers and other medieval weapon under the sun, had risen. Once they had all risen, the ray of light receeded back into the storm clouds.
The warriors stood in around the duo for a moment, doing nothing, simply breathing heavily and standing around jauntingly, as though they were fatigued. The duo just stood silently, both because they were freaked out and because they were waiting for something to happen.
When nothing did for about a minute, Mordecai whispered to Rigby. "How did you know those were the right words?"
"Remember when we saw 300? And how that one moment became an internet meme?"
"Oh, right. He." Mordecai held in a slight chuckle, remembering some of the funny videos on youtube he and Rigby had seen about that phrase. But then he turned his attention back to the skeletons.
"Uh, hey!" Rigby announced, loud so they could all hear him. "So, I've called you all here to, um... pick up trash! So come on... yeah! Who's with me?" He raised his stick up in the air.
The skeletons all seemed to acknowledge this, as they all raised their weapons, and started chanting "Pick up trash! Pick up trash!" They ran around the section of the park, skewering trash on their sharp weapons, or picking it up in their hands, and carrying it over to trash cans.
Rigby and Mordecai stared awkwardly at the skeletons doing their job for a moment, than they shot each other a look, then grinned at each other. Everything was working.
"Wow!" Rigby exclaimed. "I can't believe this is working. Looks like every thing's going to work out just fine."
"Hmph!" Mordecai murmured in satisfaction.
But Rigby spoke too soon. Suddenly, there was a loud bang. The duo turned around to face the source of the bang. Once soldier had kicked a trash can with brutal strenght, sending it hurtling across the trail and scattering trash everywhere again.
"Hey! What the heck are you doing!" Mordecai snapped at it, but it did not seem to listen. It continued on its new reign of destruction, and started tearing at some of the garbage bags with its sword.
Another one started going crazy and started chopping down the trees with its axe.
"Dude! Stop!" The duo shouted in unison, running over to him. But their attention was drawn from the trees to a nearby playground, which another warrior was attacking, tearing apart the monkey bars, and scaring away the children that were playing on them.
Overall, the warriors were going crazy now, tearing the whole place apart. Some started running off into the park to continue their spree.
"Dude, Benson is going to kill us when he sees this!" Mordecai whined.
"Yeah, no kidding." Rigby stuttered. "So what do we do?"
"I don't know."
A scream broke their thoughts, and the boys turned to face a little girl being chased by a warrior swinging a hammer.
"Come on! We gotta save her!" Mordecai started running over to the skeleton, and Rigby got on all fours and followed. They tackled the warrior just before he swung a home-hitting blow on the girl, and she managed to get away.
The boys continued to lay on the skeleton for a moment, when suddenly, they heard a snapping sound. Suddenly, the skeleton's body, bones and armor, crumbled to dark red vapor and dust, and floated away into the air. They boys looked down and saw that there was a rock under them.
"He must have snapped his back bone on that rock." Mordecai pointed out.
"Looks like it."
They got up and looked around again. Fires were starting to brew now in the grass. The warriors were still going berserk and terrorizing the guests. The park was in absolute chaos. Mordecai and Rigby ran along the path, trying to figure out what to do. They saw Pops being chased by one warrior, and Muschle Man and Skipps were fighting some more, back to back.
Mordecai and Rigby stopped for this. Skipps punched one warrior's head off with one swift punch. As its head rolled over the ground, its body vaporized, and so did its head after a minute.
Muscle Man was sword fighting one warrior with one sword he must have gotten from another warrior. "Eat my blade, bozo!" He shouted as he parried his opponent's blows.
Suddenly, another cry was heard farther on the grass. Mordecai and Rigby looked to see Mr. Maellard, the true owner of the park, being chased by another warrior.
"Go save Mr. Maellard!" Skipps barked at the boys.
"Right!" They shouted in unison as they ran over to him. On the way, Mordecai picked up a small rock. Suddenly, Mr. Maellard tripped over a small bit of grass, and fell face first on the ground. Rigby dashed forward on all fours, just as the warrrior was raising his sword to strike Mr. Maellard. Maellard screamed in terror, raising his hands to protect himself.
The sword fell, but landed with a clang! It hit Rigby's helmet, scratching it a little, causing a rattling in Rigby's head. Just then, Mordecai leaped up, and still holding his rock, punched the skeleton in the jaw. The lower jawbone came loose, and was sent flying over the grass. The warrior crumbled to red vapor as it did so.
Both boys took a breather after that fight, but they barely had a second before Maellard shouted "WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE!"
"We're sorry, sir." Mordecai stuttered. "We found this helmet, and we thought it we could call some guys to help with our job."
"You mean you caused this?" Maellard shouted again. "How did you call these monsters that are destroying my park?"
"I just put on this helmet here." Rigby said. "We shouted 'this is sparta' and they were summoned somehow."
Maellard glared at them for a moment. "Well then, why don't you take the helmet off?"
Mordecai and Rigby's eyes widened as they facepalmed themselves. Why didn't we think of that sooner? They both thought.
Rigby reached up and shoved the helmet off of his head, the violently threw it on the ground.
As he did, the skeleton warriors all seemed to look up from whatever they were doing, and raised their weapons toward the sky.
"Our work is done. Our work is done." They all chanted. The chant continued as they all crumbled back into red vapor. The clouds of vapor rose up and flew back up into the cloud from which the light came. Once it seemed all the vapor clouds have returned, the dark clouds must have drifted away, for the sky seemed to lighten up slightly. It would have lightened up more, likely, but the rain clouds that have been forecast must be almost upon them.
The skeletons were gone, but the damage they did was still traced everywhere. Fires were still burning, litter lay scrambled everywhere, trees cut down, overall, the park was a mess. Luckily, however, nobody was hurt. Skipps, Pops, Muscle Man, and High Five Ghost all came up and glared angrily at Mordecai and Rigby, and so did Mr. Maellard.
"MORDECAI! RIGBY!" Screamed an angry, all too familiar voice. A golf cart zoomed up and furious speed right next to the group, and out stomped Benson, his gumball beard red as a tomato. A death glare locked on Mordecai and Rigby, who were on the verge of wetting their pants now, if they wore pants that is.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME!"
Mordecai tried to choke up an explanation "Woah, Benson, we're really sorry. We-"
"NO! You know what? I'm sick of your excuses!"
Rigby intercepted, and tried to apologize as well. "Benson, calm down, we'll get to work right now and clean up and fix everything."
"NO! You won't clean it up! You won't fix anything! You guys do nothing around here! All you do is slack off, you never get your jobs done, and then you end up causing big disasters like this! You guys are nothing but trouble! A waste of time, energy, space, and money! Well, guess what, I can't take it anymore! YOU TWO ARE BOTH FIRED!"
Right at that last word, as if on que, lightning flashed, and thunder clapped, and rain started coming down lightly. Mordecai and Rigby just stared, jaws dropped at the furious Benson for a moment. He just stood there glaring, letting his words sink in.
They could not believe Benson had just said that. It was true, they had screwed up many times in their time working as groundskeepers at the park. They had caused big disasters, from sending Skipps to the moon, to unleashing a rampaging Satan head from a video game, to letting a bunch of partying unicorns trash their house. And after each mess-up, Benson had always allowed them to try again. They had always had more chances to make things right. Mordecai and Rigby figured that they took those second chances for granted, that they would never actually get fired.
But it just happened. Benson had made it crystal clear. It was all over. They were fired. Out. Terminated.
They turned back towards the rest of the staff, hoping they would say something. But they all seemed to be in agreement with Benson.
"You guys have gone too far this time." Said Skipps, shaking his head.
"This is not dandy." Pops sulked.
"Ha Ha! You losers got fired!" Muscle Man cackled and pointed. High Five Ghost just floated next to him and frowned at the guys.
"For a long time now, I've been blaming Beenson for your mishaps." Mr. Maellern said stoutly. "But now I know all the disasters of the park are because of you two. You are like a wart, boys. A wart that hurts when our body walks. And you must be removed."
Seeing that everyone has lost their faith in them, Mordecai and Rigby's hearts sank even further. Looking at the ground. Mordecai and Rigby turned to Benson's direction.
Though he was still obviously furious, he was starting to calm down now, so he spoke to them in a softer tone of voice. "I'll give you ten minutes to pack up your things from the house, and get out. Go."
Slowly, Mordecai and Rigby walked passed Benson and toward the house. As they walked through the ruined park, the rain started to come down harder, shrinking the fires and washing away some of the dirt.
Meanwhile, in the neighboring district of the city, where the rain was still coming down hard, all of the available TUFF agents, around fifty-ish, all crowded around in a large field in the outskirts of the district that was the official TUFF cemetery. All agents were dressed in black formal clothing.
Dudley Puppy was there in a black tuxedo he rented, standing along side his partner, Kitty Katswell, in a black gown she wore only for these occasions. Keswick was there in a black lab coat as well. Also there was Agents Hammy Nuts, Felica Jumbo, Sally Mander, Timmy Rodentski, Ray the Scarecrow, Tammy the Bunny, and Robert Quacksworth.
(Author's Note: All of them are canon, except Agent Quacksworth. You can see all of them on the TUFF Puppy wiki.)
Also there was Agent RJ Maskers, a raccoon and TUFF's forensics expert, in between his loyal intern, Percy Pica, and the medical and psychology specialist, Dr. Soren Hornbeak, a horned owl. They all stood silently for a minute. At the last TUFF funeral, which was Percy's first one, Percy had talked a lot and asked a lot of questions. This time however, he knew better after RJ had scolded him. He, like everyone else, kept quiet.
Everyone had crowded around two grave stones, the coffins still unburied, and open. In one mahogany coffin was a turtle in his 30s, while the other held a sheep who was not much younger. Both had their arms folded, were wrapped comfortably in creme colored blankets, their eyes closed peacefully.
At last, the Chief Herbert Dumbrowski, the fearless flea who ran TUFF, hopped up onto an mahogany podium, and cleared his throat for a camera to pop out of it and look him over for his close-up on the TV screen, and he began his eulogy speech. As his screen buzzed to life, all the present agents removed any hats they had, and became silent to pay their respects. A few sniffled or held back a tear. One or two had tears streaming down their faces.
"Thank you, fellow TUFF agents, for coming today. Today, we give our thanks, our honor, and our final farewells to our dear allies, Agent Verne Shellington, and Agent Ramona Fleece. These agents have fought hard for our country, and were recently killed in action while foiling DOOM's latest scheme."
While the chief continued his speech, some agents felt rage flare up in their hearts as they remembered how Snaptrap and his gang shot them dead. But they did not show it.
"...and as we fight for our country, we will remember their sacrifice and make sure it does not go down in vain. We will carry their memory on our shoulders, and fight in their memory. Farewell, Agents Fleece and Shellington."
And with that, the Chief stood in a firm salute, his eyes closed, as all the other TUFF agents did the same. A few troopers came up to the coffins and slowly closed them, and then draped the american flag over each. After doing so, another platoon of troopers took their rifles, and fired off into the air. The shots echoed all throughout the cemetery.
A cluster of violinists played a sad, goodbye song as each agent lined up and dropped flowers into the graves as the caskets were being lowered into them. Once all was said and done, there was a moment of silence, a moment of prayers and final goodbyes towards the departed agents.
After the moment of silence, the agents turned and silently left the cemetary, about to return to TUFF to continue their jobs.
Keswick and the Chief stayed behind for another moment. Not because they were still greatly mourning the loss of the operatives, but to talk about what must happen next. In light of what had just happened, they spoke softly.
"Of course you know what this means, right Keswick?"
"That now we have job openings for agents to replace Fleece and Sh-Sh-Shellington?"
"Yep."
"I'll post it on the TUFF website immediately." Keswick took out his smart phone to do the work. "And we'll s-s-start interviews tomorrow."
As they started walking out the cemetery gates after the other agents, the Chief started talking again. "I just hope whatever new agents we get tomorrow, they will be just terrific agents. The world of TUFF is a dangerous world Keswick. We need the finest, smartest, strongest, fastest clay to work with."
"Well Chief, I'm sure whomever we get, they will be destined for greatness here at TUFF."
Author's Note: Well, I think we all know what happens next (Seriously, it is kind of predictable, isn't it). I'm expecting to make this a long on-going series. It may be a while before I can update this though, since I'm a bit backed up on projects right now.
And thank you anyone who has read, subscribed, favored, and especially reviewed this story. It really means a lot to me. Thank you.