Leave the Lights On

Chapter One: Nothing in the Way

Elena and Stefan are back together and all is right with the world again. And Damon played a part in this. By turning Abby, he'd shattered any chance that Elena might love him back. Poor Damon was left with nothing but his own thoughts of self-regret and pity.

God, doesn't that sound pathetic?

Human, almost.

That was the thing about being a vampire. They weren't truly human, but they could still … feel.

Damn, it.

Damon took another sip of his blood-laced gin, not strong enough to dull everything that was running over his mind.

And why not just use the 'off switch?' His was temporarily out of service, immobile, and he was stuck with this lame ass drabble.

What Damon needed to do was find some sort of thrill, something to make him feel alive. But could anything really intrigue him after over 100 years of life?

There was one thing but … that would only get him into trouble. Still, as he heard Elena giggling and Stefan muttering to her, Damon was thinking, 'I've got to get the hell out of here.'

Heading to the usual place, looking for something that may be semi-amusing, a lost co-ed, a werewolf maybe or something … witchy. Damon smirked, his normal reaction, the only way he knew how to cover up what he was really feeling which happened to be genuine butterflies, believe it or not.

He was, after all the one who she blamed for losing her Grandmother and now, in many ways … her mother.

"Bonnie." Damon forced himself to say, being so bold as to sit directly beside her, in public.

"Elena's not here." Bonnie responded back coolly although she's feeling anything but. She was at the point where she was wondering who she's going to lose next. What would she have to sacrifice this time to save Elena?

It's selfish to think this way about someone who is, in all the ways that count, her sister. And let's not forget that Elena had lost two and a half sets of parents, the Gilberts, her biological parents, Jenna, and not to mention her little brother Jeremy since … he'd moved away.

Bonnie sighed. She couldn't be selfish about this. If it were reversed, Elena would risk her life to save Bonnie and not think twice about it.

"I'm actually here to speak to you." Damon responded after being quiet for way too long. For a moment, Bonnie had almost let her guard down and spaced off a bit. She slowly turned to face him.

"What is it now?" She wondered, ready to hear the run-down of a new vampire that's threatening to kill them all. Just another day in Mystic Falls.

And she thought that tonight would be her vampire-free day, with Caroline babysitting Abby and all.

Damon is speechless for a while, taken aback by the familiarity of the way her lips moved when she spoke. Bonnie then pressed them together as if thinking very carefully before revealing anything. He was watching her too closely, he'd been more discreet about it in the past, able to hide just how much more aware of her than he had pretended to be.

Even the Elena thing was more about proving that he could redeem himself after Katherine, that he could make someone that once loved his brother, love him more and for once choose Damon and not Stefan. Now that hadn't happened. Again.

But Damon wasn't as hurt as he pretended to be over it. He was just happy for this moment, when he could be this close to Bonnie and not have to divert his attention away.

"Damon…" Her voice questioned and he realized that he had been doing it. Falling too deeply into her.

" Right. How's your mom doing?"

"Asshole." Bonnie stood up immediately, leaving money on the table and grabbing her coat.

"I didn't mean it like that." Damon follows her, issuing what seems to be a public apology. Not the Damon way of doing things. He opened the door before Bonnie got through it and she reluctantly accepted the gesture.

"I can never have a normal life because of you." She accused as soon as they were in the parking lot.

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the one to blame. You did befriend the doppelganger."

"But everything was normal until you and your brother showed up. That's when it started getting crazy, but I can't imagine that someone with no regard for human life would understand. You only care about you." Damon knew this was a lie, but he didn't say anything. He was back to watching her, or more appropriately staring.

It was hard not to be enticed by her beauty.

"What is it?"

"You hate me don't you?" Damon waited in anticipation for the response. He braced himself for the worst, for Bonnie to tell him that he wasn't even worth a second thought, that he didn't even matter. That he was worthless—all of the things that swarmed around in his mind on a consistent basis but … you'd never know that, would you?

"I don't … I don't hate you Damon. I make it a point not to hate anybody. If anything … I pray for you, that you'll stop acting out like a child and hurting people for no reason except to make yourself hurt a little less."

Damon chuckled a dry laugh. So he'd lost his touch a little. Damon Salvatore was not as good as this as he thought. Everyone was seeing right through him, even Bonnie. "I'm that simple to figure out?"

"Like looking through a window."

"Says the girl that's so afraid to live her life that she lives vicariously through her best friend, sacrificing every living member of her family to do so. Must suck being too afraid to live your own life."

"You don't know anything Damon." Bonnie challenged, but she was suddenly also feeling a little less … protected. In many ways, he was right.

"Then why don't you teach me? Tell me something real about yourself so I don't have to make up these philosophies about you-"

"What does it matter? We're in this because of Elena. That's our common ground and that's all we need to know about one another." Bonnie ended the conversation, preparing herself for the short ride home to a blood-lusting mother. Thanks Damon.

She turned to walk away and go back to her life of worrying about everyone else when she felt a gust of wind. Vampire. Her heart started beating so fast that she could barely breathe.

Then, she noticed that it's just Damon.

"Goodbye." Bonnie said more firmly, caught for a moment by Damon who is undoubtedly drunk, but unyielding. She tastes a mixture of sweetness yet the sour taste of alcohol, something that she'd never thought she could like ... until now.

The kiss only lasts a second before Bonnie realizes what's happening. He's trying to get back at Elena in the worst way. Oh no.

Her immediate reaction is to push him away. Push him and slap him so hard that it hurts her. And she does with no hesitation. Still, Damon doesn't move. It was like he hadn't been slapped at all. He kisses Bonnie again, this time more firmly with a clear intent of showing her that the first one wasn't a mistake. And this one is even better.

Damon releases Bonnie for a moment, who is now breathless and confused.

"I have to go." She whispered, not looking at Damon but skirting off to her car thinking, what the hell?

(A/N: I kind of like lonely, self-destructive Damon, but I'm making sure to keep this short. I'm stuck on my other Bamon, My Last Breath, so check that out and give me some ideas, but there's a new update coming for that one. I've got a couple of Bonnie-Jacob fics in the works! Of course, review, pass on the word … Luv. –NL)