As the two ride their horses along the dry terrain in silence, Johnny became bored. "Hey, Gyro. Why don't you sing something to brighten up the mood?" Johnny yelled out. Gyro tipped his hat "Pizza mozzare-"

"Not that one. It's too good." Johnny said full of sarcasm but Gyro didn't recognize it "Hmm.. Alright... Let me just think of something..."

Aside from the footsteps of their horses, it was silent for 3 minutes as Gyro tried to brainstorm.

He snapped his fingers. "Yeaaah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna riiiiide til' I can't no more. Gonna take my horse to the old town road I'm gonna, riiiide til' I can't no more."

Johnny raised an eyebrow, that's new and catchy.

"I got the horses in the back

Horse tack is attached

Hat is matte black

Got the boots that's black to match

Ridin' on a horse, ha

You can whip your Porsche

I been in the valley

You ain't been up off that porch, now..."

Johnny slowly bobbed his head "Hey, that's actually pretty good, Gyr-"

"CAN'T NOBODY TELL ME NOTHIN! YOU CAN'T TELL ME NOTHIN~!"

Johnny frowned and decided to drown his voice out by singing the first part. "GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE OLD TOWN ROAD, Gonna, riiiiide til' I can't no more!"

"That's the spirit, bedbug boy!"

"Gonna take my- hey, shut up!"

Unaware to them, they are being tailed by a certain blonde from a considerable distance. They can't hear her since they kept singing like idiots.

Diego didn't know why, but Johnny's scent is making her horny. She had hidden attraction towards her rival even before he got shot in the back, but once she acquired Scary Monsters, her primal instincts made her crave for him, so here she is. Seeing him smiling and singing along with that Gyro asshole, she have to be patient. The sun will soon set and she will seize the chance to taste him...

4 hours later.

She sets up camp just on the other side of the hill they were camping out on. The moon shines bright as she formulates her plan. There was an abandoned town just the south from here, another one to the north, if she could just kidnap Johnny, then victory is hers.

Should she just murder Gyro Zeppeli in his sleep? Naw, Johnny will forever cry about it and she can't have that. So she draws a map on a clean piece of paper. A treasure map to lead Gyro to a wild goose chase...

The time finally came as she inspected the two sleeping bags...

"Ow. What the hell..?" Gyro stood up as a bottle landed on his gut. It had a paper inside. Removing the cork, he rubbed his eyes as he went closer to the campfire to get a better view of the contents... His eyes widened.

He stood up and poked Johnny's sleeping figure. "Johnny... Johnny!"

"Ugh, fuck off..."

"I found a treasure map, get your lazy ass up and let's find it!"

"Shove it up your ass, Gyro. Let me sleep."

Gyro pouted and scoff. "Fine, but I'm not gonna share it, and you better not whine to me about it 'Oooh, Gyro, can I have some gold please'?"

"I won't..." Johnny mumbled as he covered his head.

Gyro grinned as he mounted Valkyrie and rode away.

After a few minutes, Diego stepped out of her hiding spot as her lips formed in to a reptilian one as she began to drool. "Heh. Idiot." she whispered to herself as he saw Gyro and his steed heading north.

Johnny is just too adorable for his own good, his stupid beanie, Joestar looks, surprisingly toned body. Diego covered her mouth to avoid drooling on his face as she stood over him.

Johnny felt like he was a limbless butterfly, he had dreams like this, he can't move but he felt like he was soaring in the air, unaware that he's just riding Silver Bullet along with his captor.

He had a dream that he was Danny once, being a cute little mouse must be a carefree life, aside from the fact that you have to watch out for fucking cats, birds of prey or snakes... Nah, it's not carefree at all.

He slowly opened his eyes as he heard the sound of swinging saloon doors closing. He was staring at a ceiling, that's weird, he's so sure that him and his bestfriend slept out in the open, where are the stars? Where is the moon? Where is he?

... And why can't he move? He turned his head groggily as he saw Diego Brando's silhouette walking towards him. He closed his eyes calmly, probably some retarded nightmare.

Until he felt goosebumps everywhere as the blonde caressed his arm. His eyes opened wide as he went face to face with Diego, whose face was half dino with her lips being feral.

"Goodevening, Johnny."

He looked around as it finally sank in that this is not a dream. "G-GYRO-" he was cut off as she aggressively smashed her mouth to his, he squirmed away and headbutted her. "Where am I?! What are you doing?!" he asked in panic, he was so sure that Diego would just kill him immediately if they met under normal circumstances during the race since she hates humans, so why did she capture him?

Diego hissed and rubbed her forehead. "Johnny, stay calm."

"GYRO WHERE THE FUCK ARE Y-" she kissed him again and this time, mounted him. Johnny sweatdropped and used Tusk to cut through his rope. After successfully cutting through, he shoved her away.

"Have you lost your mind?! I know you're batshit insane and all, Brando, but what the fuck?!"

Diego glared at him with her reptilian eyes "Is it too much to ask to have sex with you?"

"WHAT?!"

Johnny was stunned, he never really looked at her that way before, but Diego took advantage of this situation and pinned Johnny's arms above him. "JoJo, do you want to lose control of your arms too?"

Johnny cringed, he hates that nickname "What the fuck happened to Johnny?!"

Diego tightened her grip. "A-AAAGH! I mean n-no!" Johnny whimpered. "Then be a good boy and be straight for once." she whispered as she kissed his neck, Johnny tensed up as his beanie fell from his head. He realized they're on top of a pool table. "Hey, I'm not gay..." he shivered. "Perfect." Diego smirked as she rubbed her crotch to his, much to his panic "Ahh! I am! I'm gay! Get off me!" Johnny screamed. "Then let me turn you straight." Diego cooed.

Johnny shuts his eyes, where the fuck did Gyro go?! Now he wished he went with him to find that dumb treasure instead, he could have been rich, he remembered his older brother's lecture about responsibility, if you snooze, you lose.

Johnny snoozed, instead of probably making a gold bar spin, and finding a fortune, he is here getting molested by his reptile rival.

The song was Lil Nas X's Old Town Road.

I wrote something like this before when I was still using Google plus, figured I rewrite it again because why not?