Summary: After living in Forks for all of her life, Bella gets the unexpected news that her parents are up and moving to Phoenix after her freshman year. That summer she tells her best friends Angela, Alice, and Edward that she is leaving. Bella has developed a crush on Edward and after she leaves he doesn't speak to her. The summer before her senior year she receives an unexpected call from Edward's parents offering her the chance to return to Forks for her senior year. She isn't aware of all that has changed, including Edward.
AN: So this is a mix of Bella's flashbacks and her actual driving to Forks, anything that mentions her in the truck in the beginning is present time, anything with Alice and so forth is flashback. Enjoy.
A very special thanks goes to Black Mardie for beta-ing. Betas are my lifesavers because my grammar sucks, so I'm rambling and you need to read this. Now.
One, five, eight, and three.
All together that added to seventeen.
Subtracted, it equaled negative fifteen.
Alone?
One thousand, five hundred and eighty three was the number of miles I had to contemplate how stupid and masochistic I was. One day, give or take a few hours (I didn't plan on stopping for too long,) was more than enough time to convince myself that this was not a good idea. My ancient truck sputtered to a stop at one of the many traffic lights in town. With the unwanted red light came the overpowering flood of memories I had been determined to forget.
Almost two years ago, my parents decided they needed to get out of the tiny town of Forks, Washington and into a larger city. The larger city being Phoenix, Arizona, to be exact. My mother was set on starting anew and Charlie and I were being pulled along for the ride. Two weeks after my freshman year ended, Renee had dropped the bomb, and we started packing. Disgruntled and complaining, Charlie had given up his Chief of Police title for some newbie he liked to call "an inexperienced monkey."
I had been left with the task of breaking the news to my best friends and then fellow sophomores Angela Weber, Alice Brandon, and Edward Cullen. Alice was convinced that she was small enough to be packed in one of my few boxes. Sure enough, my pixie-like best friend had actually tried her theory by getting into one of the boxes conveniently covered in holes around the top edge with glittering letters that read 'Fragile-Human. I mean glass.' Angela's soft features had quickly twisted into a frown, an expression I had never seen her use. She had quickly pulled me into a tight hug and consulted Alice about possible expansion plans for the box.
Edward's reaction had been much harder to read, and even now I still cannot decipher what he was thinking. His face had been void of any emotion, and for nearly a minute he stared intensely at me, his emerald green eyes hard and confused. When he had suddenly taken notice of his actions, he smiled uneasily and teased Alice and Angela. He had refused to go all the way to Phoenix in a cardboard box with them and instead asked if I wanted a brother with a sly wink.
The obnoxious sound of a blaring horn brought me back to my senses, and I laid on the gas to get my truck to go. Virtually all civilization was slowly disappearing as the road widened, and I began my goodbyes to the warm desert air.
I remembered freshman year had been trying, but I was motivated by Alice to make the best out of what I was given. We were the outcasts more or less. Neither of us had fit into the popular, I've-got-a-huge-stick-shoved-up-my-butt crowd, nor did we act like complete weirdos. Every weekend was spent at the movies, the small park a mile or so from Edward's house, or at Angela's for a sleepover. The nonstop routine never annoyed me although Alice was always itching to get out of Forks for a night. She seemed to forget we barely had beginner's permits let alone an actual driver's license.
Edward always tagged along with us not seeming to care about the estrogen overload. He was patience at its best, never failing to be there for any of his "girls." His loyalty never ceased to amaze me seeing as I kept waiting for him to toss us aside. Our small, albeit tight-knit group was what I lived for in Forks until teenage hormones stepped in. I began to see something in my awkward, lanky, bronze-haired best friend, something that gave me a feeling that wasn't exactly best buddy. Instead it was more of the blushing, "oh, wow, my breath just caught in my throat and now I'm melting" feeling. Joy.
Of course I told Alice and Angela about this because it wasn't supposed to happen this way, not with my best guy friend. I think I was more surprised than they were when they simultaneously yelled out, "Finally!"
Alice jumped up and plopped down beside me at one of our girl's only sleepovers.
"We were waiting to see which one of you would crack first," she chattered mindlessly. "I kind of thought Edward would admit it first though. I mean, no offense, but Bella your forte isn't all things girly, at least not all things relationship-wise."
By that time I was gawking at her and the next statement came out as a stutter. "Oh no-I-Alice you can't say anything to him. I-it would ruin everything. He's my b-best friend. Wait-what do you mean us, like-"
Angela rolled her eyes like it was blatantly obvious. "Bella, Bella, Bella,"—when she started like that it always meant I had done something very stupid—"Seriously, you haven't noticed? You and Edward are absolutely perfect for each other; the cutest would be couple ever. Being a cute couple isn't everything Bells, but it's definitely a plus. Come on, haven't you seen it, felt it? The chemistry is killer."
My friends were staring intently at me and I couldn't respond.
"I just admitted to you that I liked him, obviously I'm smart enough to sense the chemistry."
Both Alice and Angela opened their mouths, probably going to make plans for a wedding. I quickly cut them off. "No. I won't lose him as a friend. This goes nowhere."
As I pointed my finger at them, they sighed in momentary defeat and left it alone.
In private, my two best girl friends always drilled me about my actions around Edward, and my crush on him began to bother me more and more. It felt wrong, almost as if I was in a never-ending state of lying to him. For me, hanging out with him was increasingly awkward and tense. He seemed to pick up on a little of the discomfort but always seemed to disregard it as something else.
The night before I left we had all gathered at Angela's for one last sleepover with Edward in tow. Alice was constantly pulling me into the bathroom making sure I knew what he was doing and what his actions meant.
"If he leans towards you while you speak, that's a great sign. And—"
"Alice!" She jumped and tilted her head like a confused puppy. "I can't do this anymore. Just please, leave it alone right now. He'll begin to suspect something if you keep yanking me away from the party. This is Edward for crying out loud. He sees me as nothing more than his dorky best friend. Alice refused to give in.
"I just don't want you to regret anything. You deserve this, and, well, you're leaving us. Don't you want a little closure, an explanation, a big sloppy kiss from Edward?" Her description made him sound like a dog, but it was clear she wanted something to happen between us as much as I did.
"No." The words were automatic, almost robotic.
Surrendering, Alice opened the door and we returned to the party.
I tried holding myself together. This was the last night I was going to spend with my friends and the last night I would be able to spend with Edward. His eyes darted and glanced at me questioningly until I couldn't exactly contain myself.
It was like an atomic explosion that took out everyone in its path. I started bawling, and by bawling I mean the horrific red eyes, nasty snotty nose. You get the picture. Angela's waterworks started right on cue with mine, and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. Alice started sniffling incessantly before she was crying too, enveloping us in a death grip embrace. Edward merely looked torn.
His face was contorted into a thousand different emotions and he reached his arms out hesitantly as if to pull us all to him. Dropping them like dead weight he debated again, his green eyes staring intensely into my clouded ones. I was still sobbing uncontrollably with Alice and Angela on each of my shoulders, and Edward no longer in my line of sight. The space behind me shifted and a shaking hand began to run down the length of my hair somehow missing all of the large tangles I knew were there.
The hand ran nervously through my hair trying to comfort me to no avail. I heard a shaky, exasperated sigh as it rubbed small circles in the small of my back. It eventually rested on my shoulder and tightened its grip. Oddly enough, it was no surprise when I saw that it was a pale hand draped around me in my peripheral vision.
I didn't realize it until just now that I deeply regretted the morning after. Angela's head was in my lap, and Alice had moved to the couch. What I didn't realize at first was that I was sitting between a pair of jeaned legs covered by a thin blanket. My head was lying awkwardly on a bony shoulder, chunks of bronze hair falling in front of my face. Even with the looming threat of my departure, I was at peace. My ragged breathing from the night before was calm and in perfect sync with someone else's. Their cool breath came in short bursts on my neck, raising goosebumps down my arms.
Then it hit me.
I had fallen asleep on Edward.
Panicking, I immediately jumped up and tossed the blanket aside all while mentally banging my head into a brick wall. The girls were alert now, and Edward had been jolted awake by my sudden movement. He pulled his knees to his chest, almost ashamed, and bit down on his bottom lip.
"I completely forgot, I really have to go. My parents are probably going insane and they want to get on the road soon," I rambled, flailing around in search of my shoes.
Alice and Angela attacked me once more, and we stood still for a second, taking in the events that had happened and how things were about to change significantly.
He didn't move. Edward just sat there, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and waving goodbye.
As soon as I got home and began closing my last few boxes, my phone vibrated, alerting me of a new picture message from Alice. Without thinking I flipped it open and looked at the screen. The last thing I saw before my phone hit the floor was a blurred image of a brunette girl sleeping on the shoulder of a pale, green-eyed boy with his head on hers and a protective arm around her waist.
I tightly clenched the steering wheel thinking about what had happened right before I left. Phoenix was the polar opposite to rainy Forks, and it took a while for the direct sunlight to grow on me. I had gotten daily calls from Alice and Angela asking about how I was doing and if my new school was okay. Being brutally honest with them was not something I did well, seeing as Alice would have been there in 2.5 seconds if she knew I didn't have any friends yet. In Arizona, I was pale and sickly looking from the town of "what's it called again?"
Eventually, I had begun to fit in as time went on. And believe me, time dragged on before people began to accept me. I'm beginning to think it took me getting a little bit of color to get my classmates to stop staring and speak. I received less calls, and contact from Forks diminished to a nearly nonexistent state. Throughout the period of my new kid suffering, I got no calls, texts, or any words of encouragement from the bronze haired boy I left behind in Forks.
It wasn't until the very end of my junior year that I got any communication from that end of the world.
May 23. 7:36 in the evening. Cue the end of my world.
The ringing of the living room phone reached my ears. I tripped over a table leg in the process of answering the phone before breathlessly calling out, "Hello?"
"Isabella?" A musical voice floated through the receiver, and my face flushed, putting two and two together.
"This is she." I was almost positive of who it was, but asking would assure that I didn't make a fool of myself. "Mrs. Cullen?"
A delightful tinkling laugh answered me. "Yes, and please, call me Esme. Bella, it has been forever since we've heard from you. Carlisle and I were curious as to how you were taking to Phoenix."
I sighed in relief. Perhaps there were two redeeming qualities to the Cullen family: his parents. "Phoenix is okay, hot, extremely hot, but bearable. It's a complete 180 from Forks."
"Sweetie, you don't sound too happy. Is there anything wrong?"
I swear that woman knew everything. Back home when we hung out at Edward's house she was always the first to pick up on any problems the girls had. Politely and not meaning to offend, she would pull whichever one of us it was into the kitchen and sit down a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Even Alice, the most stubborn of us, would sing like a lark.
"Not exactly," I broke, "things are still tough. I desperately miss Forks and Alice and Angela. The people here aren't exactly welcoming or social. I would have expected more for my senior year than what seems to be coming together."
"Oh my, I am so sorry," she consoled, her tongue clucking with disapproval to an unknown party. "We would've thought that Edward"—Esme's tone was curt and short with his name—"would have told us something. I wish there was something we co-" She stopped short, and I could hear unintelligible whispers and rustles on the other end of the phone.
"Bella?" A new soft voice, male this time, could be heard through the receiver. "It's Carlisle. Are your parents nearby?"
"Um, yes, Renee is in the kitchen. Hang on." I found my way into the kitchen to find my mother slaving over a pot of who-knows-what and handed her the phone. "It's Carlisle, Edward's dad." Her face lit up in recognition as I leaned on the counter curious to see what was happening.
Renee spoke in soft whispers to Carlisle as I munched noisily on a carrot still leaning on the counter. Closing my eyes, I chewed up the last bit of the food and leaned my head back. I had two theories for the Cullen's sudden call.
My first: Someone had died. My second: The Cullen family actually cared if I was alive, or at least two of the members did.
Finally my mother's voice had returned to its normal volume. She hung up and handed me back the phone.
"It's Esme. She'll tell you the news."
I could feel my eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. Maybe someone had died. Putting the phone up to my ear, I muttered a quick "hello" before Esme spoke up again.
"Bella, honey, we have an interesting proposition for you. We know how much you love and miss Forks, so Carlisle and I have talked it over." Talked it over? They had only whispered to each other for five seconds. "We want you to come live with us for your senior year. Every teenager deserves that to be one of the best years of their life, and Arizona does not sound like the place for that to happen."
I dropped the phone and my vision swirled. Going back to Forks? The idea itself was absurd, but there was nothing I wanted more to accept. Grabbing the phone up off the floor, I nearly yelled into the poor abused thing now.
"Sorry! I'm sorry, butter fingers."
Esme laughed and repeated her question. "Well Bella, what do you think?"
"Yes, yes, a million times yes. Wait, what about my—"
"Carlisle had Renee convinced, and while your mother is still uneasy, she's only interested in making you happy. It's all up to you now."
I smiled unconsciously and accepted again. "When do I come?"
At the time, I had completely forgotten about Edward. It wasn't until I started packing that the realization hit me; I was going to be living with him for an entire year. Against my better judgment I continued putting my things into some boxes. He would NOT ruin this year for me.
I refused right then and there to let Edward Cullen get to me.
And that's how I got here, driving to Forks from Phoenix to gain the whole exciting experience of senior year. And whoop-de-doo, I also had to face the only reason I would want my hometown to fall into a black hole. It sounded more like a cheesy teenage TV show description than what I was actually doing. My truck was beginning to run low on gas, and I pulled over to a tiny, dilapidated gas station to set the world record for the fastest fill up ever. For the past few hours that I had been on the road, my mind was running in a million different directions. I wasn't even in Washington yet, and he was already consuming my thoughts.
"This wasn't a good idea," I mumbled to myself for the umpteenth time while pressing the nozzle into my gas tank. As soon as I arrived I would be suffering silently and still telling myself that I shouldn't be doing this. He wouldn't speak to me and all would fall into place. It was easy, simple.
After paying for my gas to a balding, dirty old man inside the station, I ran back to my truck and sat down in the driver's seat. The sun was already setting over the desert, and I had about another hour until I reached the actual city (yes, finally some scenery) I was going to spend the night in. It probably wasn't a smart thing for me to leave so late from Phoenix.
Pulling into the motel, I realized the dark did it no justice. The sickly yellow street lamps only illuminated every possible flaw on the outside, from the dead, crunchy landscaping to the cracked and peeling paint.
"Wonderful." I shook my head in disappointment and pulled out a change of clothes from my luggage that spilled all over the passenger seat.
The pale room was no improvement from the outside. It was small and cramped, even for a single occupant, with off white dirt tinged walls. On the bed was a horridly patterned comforter that had a few stains on the edges. No matter what the bathroom looked like, I was determined to have a hot shower to forget about the dump I was staying in.
My phone rang an unrecognizable tone, something I hadn't heard in ages. I automatically assumed it was my mother checking up on me. Failing to check the caller id, I flipped it open.
"Hey mom, I'm sorry I didn't call to check in. I—" A suave, velvety voice interrupted. THAT was something I definitely had not heard for a while.
"This most certainly isn't your mother Bella."
Now review. I know you can all see the box, right there below more of my useless rambling.