This song has been staring me in the face for along time, its by Adele, and if you can youtube it, its heartbreaking and wonderful. It just about broke my heart to write this, I'm a girl, we all want a happy ending, but in reality, very few get that ending. I hope you enjoy!
"Jude, can you hear me? Are you even listening?" Sadie questioned through the phone, worried leaking into her tone.
Jude nodded her head silently. She didn't need her sister to call her with this news, it was on the cover of tabloid worldwide, that's how it had found her in London at her favorite coffee stand just down the street from her label. His face, those haunting blue grey eyes, staring back at her, as though they were trying to tell her something.
"Yeah, Sadie, sorry." She whispered back into the phone, unsure of where her voice and strength had gone.
"You don't have to come home, I'll come there this year." Sadie was quick, she was rambling off flights she could easily book, she could be on a plane that same day if her sister wanted.
"No." Jude protested, tearing her eyes away from the picture. "We're not changing these plans, it's my 21st birthday, I want to spend it in Toronto." He had already taken so much from her over the years, she couldn't bear to give this to him as well, not this birthday.
"Are you sure?" Sadie questioned.
"I'll see you at the end of the week." It was all she could say before ending the call with her sister. It was all her mind would allow.
I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now
It was like a movie, everything in the air had suddenly changed, the cold winter air was snapping harder at her exposed skin, turning her nose an even brighter shade of pink. She wanted to bury herself even farther in the scarf warped around her neck, but all she could do was shove her hands farther into her pockets and hold her breath. She hadn't been back long enough, she hadn't even finished processing this information. But there he was, walking towards her on the nearly empty street, the woman by his side. She could no longer process anything, because now it was real.
She could feel herself catch her own breath when his caught hers. She didn't want to look at those eyes, the ones that she use to see herself in, she didn't have the right to look at them anymore.
"Jude?" he questioned as they approached each other.
She forced herself to smile. He deserved this, he deserved to be happy. But she felt stiff as he hugged her, laughing to himself.
"Wow, I didn't even know you were back in town." He commented.
Jude nodded her head softly, trying to keep her expression from turning sad as she eyed the woman next to him. Her burnet hair was hidden under a hat, but Jude could tell that it had a natural wave to it, and even though she wanted to think the girl plain, there was nothing plain about her. Her warm brown eyes matched her olive skin, and her legs seemed longer than normal, but Jude knew it was due to the high heeled boots the woman wore. The woman next to him, in what use to be her spot, was gorgeous.
"I'm only back for awhile." Jude commented. She didn't want to say anything about her birthday, not this birthday. She knew that Sadie had already put a ban on anyone playing that song, even though Jude could still hear it in her mind. She made a mental note that she would never again write a song that included her age. "Visiting Sadie and my dad and the guys."
"Oh, sorry." He looked over at the woman next to him and smiled lovingly, it was sickening to Jude. "Lilly this is Jude, Jude this is Lilly." He had never been good at introductions, especially when it was between the woman in his life.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Lilly smiled, shaking her hand.
She wanted to die, right there, she wanted to back up and run away, but she couldn't. She had done this, she had left and she had known that at some point this moment would happen, but she had always hoped it would never happen. "Yeah." She didn't know what else to say. She knew nothing of this woman other than what she had seen on the cover at the tabloids. She had stolen his heart, she had married him. The ring on her polished hands wouldn't stop screaming for attention. "I really should be going, Speid is waiting for me." It was a lie, no one was waiting for her.
"Yeah, it was really good to see you again." He smiled at her, and she had to look away from his eyes, because she could feel her heart breaking. As he went in to hug her again, she stepped to the side quickly, shaking her head.
"Bye Quincy." She whispered, before hurrying past them, feeling the warm tears turn instantly cold on her cheeks.
I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you
"I just don't understand." Jude told Sadie. "I didn't even know he was dating."
"I wish I had answers for you." Sadie sighed, knowing it was hard for her.
"How'd they meet?" she knew Sadie knew more than she was telling her.
"At G Major, it was through Global Instant Star, she was doing a photo shoot." Sadie explained what she could, gently knowing that it was slowly ripping at her heart.
"Two months?" Jude raised her eyebrow at Sadie, it had only taken him two months to meet someone else? Jude had been living in London, traveling the world, doing tours for nearly two years and she hadn't meet anyone, not that she had put enough of herself out there to try.
"They didn't get together right away." Sadie shook her head.
"I guess she gave him things I couldn't." she couldn't look at her sister when she said that. The one thing that Jude hadn't given him was her hand in marriage, everything else about her belonged to him, and even now, she still felt like she belonged to him. She knew that at some point she would have married him, but she needed to do some of her own living before she could do that. But had taken too long, and he had found someone else.
Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
She didn't want to be alone in the room with him, it was uncomfortable, and she could feel every part of her body tingling as she looked back at him, knowing he was just as uncomfortable.
"I thought Sadie was here." She whispered, looking around the office.
"Yeah, so did I." he sighed, taking a step back towards the door. "I'll go."
"No!" she protested. "It's fine." She gave him a small soft smile. "So a wedding." Casual conversation, she could do that.
He only nodded her head, not meeting her gaze.
"That's good, good for you." Jude didn't know what to say, and he didn't seem to have anything to offer either. She could feel the walls around her closing in on them, making it harder for her to breath, and when she did breath she could taste him, his cologne filled the air, making her head dizzy with old memories. "I-I-I'll just leave her a message." She muttered and stumbled over her words, before pushing past him quickly, escaping from the room.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over
'What are you doing?' she asked herself that a million times as she drove to his town house. She must have lost her mind, she couldn't have been thinking straight, she couldn't. And that moment she saw his confused expression on the other side of the door was the moment she knew she had made her biggest mistake.
"Jude?" he asked looking at her. It was late, too late for visitors.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking." She was scared. She had been scared ever since she had seen his picture, since Sadie had told her.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything but think, and it was driving me mad." She sighed, looking up at him, pulling her sweater tighter around her. She hated the cold air, only because it seemed to match the look he was giving her.
She never should have come back.
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.
"Why are you doing this?" he groaned in frustration, his tone only made her feel worse.
She didn't want to do this, it would make letting him go final, and break the rest of her heart. But it was the only thing she could do. With the tears rolling down her cheeks, she looked up at him one last time. She walked slowly over to him, he was standing in the middle of his living room, looking more than frustrated with her. She could feel the sob slowly building in her stomach, reaching her throat, making her body feel tight and closed off. She placed one hand on his shoulder, and reached up and kissed his lips one last time, feeling his own hot tears mix with hers.
His lips were warm one hers, and she could taste their salty tears. But the kiss was heart breaking, because it was her last. "Don't forget me." Her plea was whispered, as her sob threaten to escape. She turned away quickly, and among the soft sound her heels made on the hard wood floor she heard his whispered answer.
"I'll remember."
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days
In the house that was once her home, she stared back at the picture that seemed to be taunting her. Her relationship with Tom Quincy was a short lived one, and that photo was proof. How long had they really been together? A few months at the most, one simple summer that started the end for them. But when she meet him, so many years ago, that was really the beginning of the end, for her at least.
Her figures traced along the faces in the picture. His eyes focused on nothing but her, and his smile was one that she loved, one she had missed and longed for. But now it belonged to someone else. There was a new look he had, a look for a girl that wasn't her. She chuckled sadly as she thought about it. That summer had flown by, and he had only been there for the start of it. She could remember laying in the woods somewhere, just enjoying the feeling of him next to her, the way his heart would pound louder when she would smile at him.
Before he had always tried to tell her that she was to young, and that there was so much more out there for her. But she didn't fully understand his words until now, as she looked at that picture, the one that was of their glory days. She had been so young and so naive, even though she swore she was mature. She was none the wiser about what was taking place. All he had wanted so many years ago was for her to grow up.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
"Why would you go and see him?" Sadie asked brushing the tears from her sister's eyes. "I thought you said you were okay with it, that you were over him."
"I wanted to be, I want to be over him so bad Sadie." Jude could feel a new wave of sobs coming. "But I'm not, it's not over for me, and I don't know if it ever will be." She knew it could never be over for her. Since the moment she had meet Tom Quincy when she was 15, that was it, it had sealed her fate and locked her heart. Every relationship she had, or even tried to had was short lived, because she couldn't fully give herself to anyone, because she hadn't had her own heart since she sat at the pier with him.
She broken down in her sisters arms, feeling herself fall apart for the first time in a long time. It was scary to think that he still had this much power over her, this much control.
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
"If you see him, you remember what you're going to say?" Sadie coached. She hadn't liked the idea of bringing Jude to G Major, but the sisters had been out shopping for the upcoming holiday when Sadie had been called in to sign some papers.
"I wish him the best of luck." Jude nodded looking out the window. It had been days since she had got to see him, days since she had allowed herself to cry. She was going to pick up the pieces of her heart again because that was all she could do. It was time that she actually tried to move on. He had done it, and now she needed to.
Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?
Like all of Jude's other parties this one wasn't just about her birthday. She would never willing get this dressed up to celebrate her own birth. She would have rather gone to dinner, hung out at the rehearsal space with her friends, she would have rather ran away, somewhere the news wouldn't find her.
But she stood in front of a crowd of people, wearing the long silky black dress he stylist had sent for her. It was cut low, way down past her breasts, but she could feel the tape stuck to both her skin at the dress that kept it from revealing what she wanted covered. She could feel her hair tickle her almost bare back every time she turned her head, and the simple pearl necklace weighted heavy around her neck. When they asked what she wanted to look like, all she said was classic, and she had achieved more than a classic look.
"You look more than amazing." Jamie whispered in her ear, going to escort her away from the press. They had never been apart on her birthday, even when she had gone to London they had still spent it together.
"When I'm old, just take me out for dinner." She gave him a smile, even though she knew she wasn't truly happy, she was trying to enjoy her birthday.
"Did you pick a song to sing tonight?" Jamie asked, as they glanced around the room.
She shook her head. "I'm not singing." She sighed. "I think I'm ready for a break." It was hard to say, but it was time.
"Jude Harrison, taking a break from singing?" Jamie questioned, he could see the sadness in his friend's eyes, it was something he had seen building over the years, even before she had left for London it had been there.
"It's just time." She forced a smile. "I think I've got one last song." She whispered when she saw him enter the room, the woman on his arm.
"Happy Birthday, Jude." Lilly smiled at her, but Jude found it harder to smile back.
"Thank you." She forced herself, looking towards the stage as her sister called for their attention.
"I just want to thank everyone for coming tonight, and for helping my baby sister celebrate her birthday." Jude had begged her and everyone she knew not to say it was her 21st birthday. She knew other people would say it, but she didn't want to hear them say it. "I'm so proud of her. So please help me welcome her to the stage."
Everyone applauded her, and Jamie walked her to the stairs. It took her a moment to adjust to the spotlight, feeling its heat on her. "Thank you, thank you all." She smiled out, trying not to look at him but his eyes seemed to call her name. "Most of you are expecting me to sing." She knew this was the only time she could announce this, and get away with it. None of her family for friends would questions her decision right away, and she still had enough time that everyone in London would have time to cool down before her returned. "But I don't have a song tonight." She could hear the sounds of disappointment trickle through the people. "I have actually decided that it's time for a break from singing. Maybe time to try something different." She could see the shock and confusion on everyone's face, and mainly in her eyes, they almost seemed to change color when she said that. "But thank you all for coming to help me celebrate." She couldn't say anymore, she didn't have anything left to say.
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"
She had escaped the party after her announcement, and he had found her hiding in their old studio, studio A.
"Not singing anymore, is that even possible?" he questioned, turning on the intercom.
She turned in the chair, looking through the glass at him. There had always been something keeping them apart, and this was what it normally was, the thin, sound proof glass. But now she felt like it was shielding her from one that just outside noise, but from the pain.
"It's time." She nodded sadly. She had always known at some point she would take a break, but she didn't think it would be because of how badly he had broken her. She reached out and ran her fingers across the guitar, thinking about the lyrics that explained this part of her life.
"I find that part to believe." He whispered.
She watched him for a moment, and remembered the birthday she had spent with him, the things that would stay buried in their past. "Did you get me a present this year, Quincy?" she tried to joke, but her voice cracked, leaking her sadness into it.
"What do you get the girl that has almost everything?" he asked, a line he used before.
She gave a soft chuckle, there were so many things she could have said to that, but there was only one thing she wanted now. "One last time." She asked reaching for the head phones. "One last song." She could feel the soft tear roll, she knew he saw it before she could brush it away.
"One last song." He nodded, and went to work on the sound board.
Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me," I begged
"I'll remember," you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"
To her it was perfect, every word was perfect because every word describe everything she had been through, everything she had thought. She would find someone else, someone like him, she had too because he had found someone new.
"Jude." He protested at her words as she spoke the last line of the song.
The way he said her name, like he had said it a million times before, made her heart sting, and the tears that had pooled up, fall.
"No." she shook her head, knowing that he had left the soundboard; she heard the door click close.
"Jude." He said it again, and it made her angry. She didn't want to hear him say her name, it hurt too much.
"No." she said form firmly this time, feeling him in front of her. She wanted to turn away from him when his hands cupped her face, his thumbs brushing her tears away. "Please, don't." she whispered, looking into his eyes, she could see his own tears.
She needed to hurt, because she had hurt him, she had done this to him, to them. she had made the choice to leave him there, to follow her dreams without him. Her mind had been so closed that the time that she couldn't see that her dreams could change. She had put so much of herself into her music, but now, she wasn't sure if she could still be that rock star, because all she could feel was pain.
"I'll be happy for you, I promise, I just-" she stopped herself looking away, out the glass of the studio. "I need time." She whispered. She turned her head to get away from his touch, walking away from him. The small room was to full of them, of their past.
"Jude, I loved you." He whispered, trying to reach for her.
She nodded her head, and could feel her hand find the door knob in the dark room. Her final words to him would haunt her a lot longer than she wanted, but it was all she could say. "I know, and I love you." She tore her eyes away before leaving from the room as quickly as she could. It was like she sang, some love lasts, but this love, it hurts.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead