a/n: So... basically these are just gonna be a bunch of silly little paragraph drabbles I type up when I'm bored or procrastinating, or inspiration strikes. There will 100% guaranteed be references to other things in here besides just Trek humour. I'm odd that way. But I hope you enjoy them, and derive at least some small amount of amusement. I apologize if they're a little Scones-centric at times. I think we know who my two favorite characters are. Without further ado:
"You have not had sex with everyone on this ship."
"Oh yeah, who did I miss?"
"Scotty over there, is the first one that comes to mind-"
Kirk interrupted Bones, waving a hand at him.
"Who said I didn't?"
"I did." Scotty said flatly, not bothering (or wanting, for that matter) to look up from his technical journal.
"Oh yeah, who else?" Jim shot at McCoy. Bones gave him a wry smile.
"Me."
"Oh, come on, I totally-"
"Screaming 'oh, Doctor!' as you orgasm doesn't count as sleeping with me."
Kirk gave the doctor a reproachful look.
"But that's its name."
McCoy grimaced, upper lip curling unpleasantly as his nose scrunched.
"Really wish you'd change it…"
"…to what?"
"Well, mine are 'oh, God!' and 'Fuck Me!'"
Scotty's head snapped up, the look on his face somewhere between incredulous and annoyed.