Kakashi always wanted to think that he was a strong willed person.
He always did what had to be done, no matter the consequences. He completed every mission that was assigned to him, no matter how dangerous it was. He became a chunin at the age of 6, a Jonin by 10 and joined ANBU at 13. He survived the nine tails attack and was a student of the Hokage. He is one of the most trusted Ninja of the Hokage.
Then why did he feel like this?
He was sitting on a bench in the hidden leaf village, under the shade of a tree and reading a book. His one eye was scanning everywhere around him. Everyone seemed so... happy. He saw Rin and Obito in the distance, holding hands. Rin was laughing at something Obitio had said. He looked to the right and saw Minato and Naruto walking through the village together. All around him, everyone was laughing, smiling, and happy. Except him.
He didn't know why he was feeling this way. Was is because of how he never really had a childhood because of his father? Was is because of all the assassination missions he completed?
The silver haired man shook his head and looked back down at his book.
Maybe is was because he was... lonely. Sure, he had Obito, Rin, Sensei, Naruto... even Gai. But he was still lonely. At the end of the day, he was alone. Everyone had someone to talk to, to go home to at the end of the day... everyone except him. Of course, he would never admit this to anyone.
Maybe it was time Kakashi headed home for day. have a nice shower and get a good nights sleep. He was supposed to train with Obito and Rin tomorrow. The ninja got up, put his book in his nose and started to walk towards the Hatake compound.
He didn't noticed the worried glances behind his back.
When he got home, Kakashi shut the door and stood there, looking around. The big house just make Kakashi feel even more lonely. he walked through the door and stopped when he was in the living room entrance. He looked down at the floor. That was where his father committed suicide. He tried to turn away, but somehow couldn't. He felt his heart rate sped up. Why was he doing this? That was years ago. He struggled to take in a breath. What was happening? A panic attack? He's never had one before.
He dropped his precious book before making his way upstairs. He wasn't going to have an attack right in the middle of his living room.
Kakashi made it up the stairs before he really struggled to breath. He didn't notice anything around him as he quickly landed on his bed. His breaths came out short and staggered and he's starting to hyperventilate. Tears were stinging the corner of his eyes and he curled up into a ball in the corner of his bed. His mind flashed to when he saw his fathers body that night... to when he had to kill all those people on his missions...
He barely noticed when someone opened his bedroom door and put a hand on his shoulder. The person sat on the bed and turned Kakashi around. Not knowing what to do, Kakashi immediately lunged at the person and gripped them like his life depended on it. He felt the person lean back on his pillows and start to slowly rub circles on his back. All Kakashi heard was muffled voices.
"... My breathing Kakashi. Just listen to me breathing and try to copy it." Kakashi looked up to see who the person was. It was Minato.
"That's it. Your doing great, just take your time."
Kakashi took a deep breath in and buried his head in Minatos chest. God... why did it have to be Minato of all people? His sensei couldn't see just how weak he really was...
After a few more minutes, Kakashi's breathing slowed down and he was just laying on Minato's chest.
"Are you alright, Kakashi?''
Kakashi glanced up and saw his sensei's worried glance.
"i'm fine," Kakashi grumbled before sitting up
"Oh no you don't," Minato said, holding Kakashi's wrist and forcing him to sit down on the edge of the bed beside the older man.
"Now tell me, whats wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Do you think i'm stupid Kakashi?" Minato sighed. "You've been acting strange all week. Rin and Obit have also noticed. would you like me to get them up here?"
"No,"
"Then tell me whats wrong. I can sit here all night if you want me to."
Kakashi sat in silence. After a few minutes he realized that Minato was going to keep his promise and sit there all night if he needed to.
"Just memories," Kakashi muttered.
"What kind of memories?''
Kakashi looked away. He wasn't used to opening up to people. "Just memories."
Minato nodded before putting an arm around the silver haired ninja. "You know, i'm always here if you need to talk. Or you could always talk to Rin and Obito. Hell, Evan Naruto or Kushina. maybe even Gai. It isn't healthy to keep it all to yourself," Minato gripped the back of his head and forced Kakashi to face him.
"We'll always be there for you Kakashi. We care about you. Please, open up to me."
Kakashi felt tears stinging the corner of his eyes. He looked away, trying to not let Minato see them, hut the man put an arm around Kakashi and led the boy to his chest.
Kakashi couldn't help himself. For some reason he felt more tears fall down his face and in no time he was crying into Minato's chest. For some reason he didn't feel embarrised. Maybe is was because he had known Minato for years, or because he viewed the man as a father figure. He felt Minato put his arms around him and put his face in his hair.
"let it all out," He said, and Kakashi delivered.
"I'm sorry," Kakashi cried into Minato's chest.
"I just saw where he died and I lost it.. I know its been years, but..."
"it's alright Kakashi. There is nothing wrong with letting it all out."
"...and I'm just so alone, I'm not the most social person around," Kkakashi breathed out.
"I will always be there for you," Kakashi looked up and saw Minato smiling. "And so will Rin and Obito. Were a team, Kakashi. We care about you."
Kakashi smiled a little and put his head back on Minato's chest. They sat like that for a while before Kakashi sat back up.
"You know, we have all been so busy lately. Want to get Rin and Obito and go to Ichiraku like the good old days?" Minato asked.
"Sure," Kakshi said.
"That'll be a great idea."