Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
An Unhappy Birthday
By: ChoCedric
It was the worst summer Cho had ever experienced, especially the first few days after her boyfriend Cedric's funeral. She moped around her house in a haze, not knowing what to do. All she did was reexperience the flashbacks of Cedric's lifeless body lying in that casket, and him being lowered into the ground. She went to visit his grave almost every day, and she sat and talked to him, desperately hoping that somehow he could hear her.
Meg, her mother, continued to try to comfort her daughter, but Jack just plain ignored her. Cho felt extremely lethargic and tired all the time, and her eyes were constantly red and puffy from crying. She couldn't believe it, but she was going to turn sixteen soon. Her birthday, usually something Cho looked forward to with every fiber of her being, now couldn't come slow enough.
Her birthday was August 1, and a few weeks before it, Meg asked, "Cho, I know that you really don't want to think about it this year, but I think it would cheer you up if you had a birthday party."
To be completely honest, Cho didn't think this would cheer her up at all. She didn't want people looking at her with pity, putting on a false sense of bravado for her sake. She didn't want to open gifts which contained nothing but superficial clothes. But she could see that her mother was really trying to do all that she could for her, so she slowly answered, "Fine," knowing that this was an extremely bad idea.
Invitations were sent out to Marietta, Meghan, Amanda, Roger Davies, and a few other Ravenclaws she knew, including Luna. Cho and her mother compromised that only a few people would come, to make it so she didn't feel too overcrowded.
On the day of her birthday, Cho woke up feeling miserable. Meg and Jack had made a cake for her, but it was in the shape of a Snitch, which made her feel even more depressed. The last thing she wanted to think about was Quidditch, for it was the very thing that she and Cedric had loved to do together. And the last time she had been on the Hogwarts pitch, she had seen him collapsed on the ground, so very, very still. But she tried to thank her parents, and tried to be happy about the gifts they had gotten her.
Cho spent the morning examining her gifts and wondering what it would be like if Cedric could have come to her party. Jack might have refused, but Meg would have relented, and the sun would have shone down on the happy couple all day. But she should have known that being with him was too good to be true, and she reflected on that as she waited for her friends to arrive.
Roger Davies came first. "Hey, Cho," he said softly, a look of concern on his face. "How are you?"
That is the stupidest question in the world, Cho thought mutinously. How am I? How am I? In agony, that's how! "Fine," she answered in a monotone. "How are you?"
"I'm well, thanks. Happy birthday," Roger said, embracing her. The two of them had been friends since Cho started at Hogwarts. Many girls ogled him, and Cho wasn't the first girl that had previously had a crush on him. But that was way before she'd fallen in love with Cedric. Now, her crush had completely disappeared, and she couldn't care less about ogling his handsome looks.
As the morning and afternoon wore on, more of Cho's friends began to arrive. Meghan and Amanda showed up, grinning and carrying gifts in their hands. There would be present-opening later, after they'd had a little fun first.
Meg and Jack set the music to play, and people started being goofy and dancing. Emotions swept through Cho as she watched Roger dancing with Meghan. No, they weren't dating, but they had big smiles on their faces as they put their arms around each other and danced to a slow song. Cho remembered the prom that had happened on June 23, the day right before the third task. Why did every little thing that happened in Cho's life have to remind her of Cedric? God, he had been so alive, so vibrant, so unbelievably full of life, and it was unfathomable to her that he was now lying in that coffin, deep under the ground, those lips she'd loved to kiss, decaying, his beautiful eyes rotting away with bugs infesting them. The images she dreamt up made her feel sick with grief. Those muscular arms that used to go around her and protect her while they danced or sat on the Astronomy Tower, simply gazing at the stars, were going to turn into nothing but skeletal skin and bone.
Cho had to run out of the room as the images became too much for her. Her friends stared after her with pity, with the words "she's such a drama queen" written all over their faces. But Cho, who was often logical, thought, logic be damned now. How could those people stand around, dancing, laughing, talking, when she felt so deeply miserable? She was sick of her parents' constant fighting, sick of having nightmares of Cedric lying there, dead, and her screaming at him to wake the bloody hell up. I'll never get over it, she thought to herself. It had been a little over a month now, and instead of things getting easier, each day was becoming more and more unbearable.
As Cho sat in the bathroom and cried, she thought of something else she now couldn't give a fig about: her O.W.L results. They had come just a few weeks ago, and Cho had managed outstandings on many of her subjects. Cedric had helped to tutor her in anything she had a problem with. Her worst subject was Ancient Runes, and Cedric had been sweet, caring, and understanding about helping her with it. Cho owed him her outstanding.
Cho had always wanted to be a Healer when she graduated from Hogwarts. That had always been her dream, for she hated seeing people in pain, whether it be physical or emotional. Her dreams had all been planned out: she'd get out of school, she and Cedric would make a life together, and Cho would start her Healer training. But now that she had finally gotten her O.W.L results, she no longer cared about anything to do with professions. There was a gigantic hole in her heart where her dreams had been; six simple syllables had shattered them: Avada Kedavra. Maybe in two years I'll feel better, she thought hopelessly. Maybe then, I can start thinking about healing again. But she knew that ache in her heart would always stay, and if she ever did find someone new, which she doubted, they'd never take the place of Cedric.
When Cho finally walked out of the bathroom, her eyes were bloodshot and her hands were clammy. The image of Cedric's body decaying had caused her to retch up everything that was in her stomach, including the piece of birthday cake which she'd eaten this morning.
Cho realized that all the talk stopped when she entered the room. The music was now off, and everyone was staring at her with looks of deep concern. Roger came over to where she stood and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Cho, are you all right, sis?" he asked softly.
"Yeah," replied Cho, once again in a monotone. Is that all you can ask? she thought in her mind.
"It's time to eat some pizza!" Jack exclaimed as he hurried into the room. "Who wants some?" He gazed at Cho with a weird expression on his face.
Everyone started trying to act normal again, with Cho going along with it and trying but failing to forget about the episode just now. She sat and ate pizza with her friends. Meghan and Amanda got to talking about the latest fashion in clothing, gushing about how cool it was. Marietta said nothing, but her gaze remained on Cho, and Cho made direct eye contact with her before looking away.
After pizza and more cake, it was time for present-opening. Cho sat on the couch as Meg and Jack placed all her presents in front of her.
"Hey, open mine! Open mine! Open mine!" Meghan chanted as Cho looked at all of them. There were big ones, small ones, lumpy ones and smooth ones.
"Which one is from you?" Cho asked.
"That one over there!" Meghan shouted animatedly, pointing. Cho picked it from the pile and slowly peeled the wrapping away.
Inside was a beautiful necklace. It was one that Cho had seen Meghan wearing throughout the year, and Cho had always loved it. Cho couldn't help but let a gasp of surprise escape her lips as she stared at it. For a moment - only a fraction of a moment, but a moment nevertheless - a small smile graced her face. "Thank you so much, Meghan," she said.
"No problem, Cho-girl!" Meghan said, putting it around Cho's neck for her.
The present-opening continued, with Cho receiving tons of clothes, books, and jewelry. When there were no more presents in the pile, her mother's face grew soft with concern and sadness. "Cho, darling, there's one more present," she said softly.
Cho's heart sped up a little. "From who?" she asked, already knowing and dreading the answer.
"It came just a few days ago," Meg replied. "He owl-ordered it and it arrived at his home. The Diggorys then forwarded it to us. They said he would have wanted you to have it." She went to a drawer, opened it, and held out a beautiful wrapped box to Cho.
Cho's friends all looked at her with worried faces as she, with trembling hands, unwrapped the box. She lifted the lid, and gasped. Inside was a beautiful ring, and it looked like it was real gold. Cho had never seen anything like it in her life. She simply stared at the magnificent object resting in her palm for a moment.
"Oh, Cho," Marietta said, coming over and sliding an arm around her. "Cho, it's beautiful."
"I know," said Cho in a choked voice. "It really is." Marietta gently slipped the ring onto Cho's finger, and it fit perfectly.
Jack had a hard expression on his face as he whispered something to Meg. Meg shook her head and gave her husband a glare. She went to stand next to Cho also and said quietly, "Eileen Diggory told me in a letter that Cedric really loved you. He wouldn't have wanted you to spend the rest of your life like this, honey. He would have wanted you to remember him, but move on. That's what she told me."
Tears swam in Cho's eyes as she remembered Cedric's soft smile as he gave her her Christmas present. It had been an ornament of an angel, and on it had been written: This represents what you are. Cho's eyes had then filled with happy tears as she realized how much she meant to one seventeen-year-old boy, and she'd then realized that he meant the world to her as well.
"Open the card, darling," said Meg, handing the card over to her. She opened the envelope and saw the picture on the front of the card. It was a picture of a couple, both with enormous grins on their faces. Cho opened the card, and in it, she could see Cedric's wonderful and familiar handwriting.
Dear Cho,
I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. I hope we will have many more years together, and that I can cherish you as much as I have done within the last six months. This ring is a representation of my promise to never leave you. I love you, my little Miss Chang. Never forget that.
All my love,
Cedric xxxxxoooooxxxxxooooo
But you did leave me, Cedric, Cho thought miserably as tears began to pour down her cheeks, blurring her vision. The beautiful words on the card shattered her heart just a little bit more, and, not caring about all the people who were looking at her, she simply started howling out her grief. This was definitely the worst birthday she'd ever had.
"Cho, honey...'" Meg started, but Cho yanked her arm away and flew off the couch.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she shouted, and ran out of the living room and to her room. There, she collapsed onto her bed, crying freely. The card that Cedric had given her was still clutched in her hand, the words repeating themselves over and over again in her mind. He had been hoping for it too, hoping for many more years together, but Voldemort had snatched that chance away from both of them. Life was so unfair. Cho's shoulders shook violently as agony sliced through her heart. The funeral had been bad enough, but this card made it even more final that her boyfriend wasn't coming back. Images of him decaying in the ground filled her mind again, and she put her hands over her eyes, trying to stop them from consuming her.
She sat there and cried for...she didn't know how long, but finally, she heard someone knock on her door. "I told you to leave me alone!" she screeched.
But the door opened anyway, and Luna walked into her room, sitting down on Cho's bed. "Cho, it's okay," she said soothingly.
"No, it's not," Cho mumbled. "He's really gone."
"In your heart he'll never be gone," Luna said softly. "Instead of thinking of the card and gift as something sad, think of it as something happy. Think of how much he loved you, that he saw past your outer shell. Not many people your age ever had someone that loves them that much yet."
Another sob shook Cho's frame as she replied, "I know, but he's not here anymore. Why does life have to be so cruel?"
"I don't know," Luna said. "Nobody really knows about the mysteries of life, and why things work out the way they do."
Cho was silent for a moment, tears still dripping down her cheeks. Then she said, "Luna, are you ever angry with your mum, you know, for leaving you?"
"Not much anymore," Luna told her. "But in the beginning ... sometimes it was hard not to be. After all, she was the one who was working on spells."
"I'm so mad at Cedric," Cho confided. "He wrote me this card, saying he'd never leave me, but he went and did just that!"
"Cho, leaving you was probably the last thing he wanted to do," said Luna gently.
"I know," Cho answered, "and I know it's not logical, I know I shouldn't be angry with him. But why didn't he dodge the spell that was coming for him? I mean, he's good at Defense! Why didn't he get out of the way?"
"The motive of a dark wizard is to take you by surprise," Luna said matter-of-factly. "Cedric had no idea it was coming, and wasn't prepared."
"But why not? It was the bloody Triwizard Tournament, he should've been prepared for anything!" Cho cried. "And now he's gone! And Harry Potter ... he didn't even try to help him!"
"But we do not know that," Luna said in her dreamy voice. "Harry was probably just as shocked as Cedric. I saw his face in the Great Hall at the leaving feast - he feels horribly guilty about the whole thing."
"I just wish he would've made more of an effort," Cho said quietly. "Then Cedric could've given me the ring himself."
"Cherish his memory, Cho," Luna said, getting up from Cho's bed. "In time, you'll associate Cedric with the good times, and when you look at the ring, you'll think of how special he was to you instead of being filled with sadness."
"Are you sure?" Cho muttered uncertainly.
"I'm as sure as anything. Take it from one with experience," Luna said as she opened the door. "Come out when you're ready, okay?"
"Okay," said Cho shakily as Luna disappeared out of the room.
Cho spent the next few minutes pondering over Luna's words. Finally, she went into the bathroom and splashed some water on her face, so she could at least look presentable when she rejoined the party.
The rest of the day was spent talking quietly amongst themselves. No one mentioned Cedric again, and Cho appreciated it. She didn't think she could bear hearing his name anymore today. Instead, she talked with her friends about unimportant matters.
She knew that in a month's time, she would be going back to school, and there would be memories to overpower her when she got there. But she also knew that she had to get through it, no matter how difficult it was. She made up her mind that she'd confront Harry on the train, so that she could finally be at peace and get her answers. Then, maybe, just maybe, she could start to feel a little better. Or maybe, she thought cynically, confronting Harry will just make it worse. But she had to find out anyway. She wouldn't know unless she talked to the messy-haired, green-eyed boy.
She also thought about her N.E.w.T-LEVEL classes she'd have to take this year, and how taxing they would probably be. She would be taking Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, Ancient Runes, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Charms, and Arithmancy. Out of all these classes, it was Potions she was looking forward to the least: if Snape made one snide comment about her and Cedric's relationship, she might just explode. She hoped this wouldn't happen, though; she didn't want to go running out of the classroom in tears.
So as the rest of the summer passed, Cho mentally prepared herself for Hogwarts. Thinking of Cedric still filled her with heart-tearing sadness, but Luna was doing the best she could to help. The two girls were keeping up an owl correspondence, and it was good to talk to someone who understood.
So when the morning came for Cho to go back to school, her heart was filled with dread and apprehension, but also it was full of hope. Please, let things be okay, she prayed as the car pulled away from Cho's house in Winchester and started driving to King's Cross Station. Please.
