My very first fanfic!
After Cory's passing I began reading loads of Finchel fanfic and I wanted to try to write one so here it is! Hope you like it!
I do not own Glee.
Buzz…..Buzz…Buzz. ..
Rachel moaned and squashed the pillow over her head in an attempt to try and ignore her alarm.
"MAN HANDS – TURN THAT ALARM OFF!" Rachel heard muffled through her pillow.
She sighed and sat up in bed to turn off her alarm.
Today was just another day but she knew differently. It was his birthday.
Rachel shook her head to try and rid herself of him. Getting up she wrapped her dressing gown around her as she sleepily stumbled into her ensuite. Glancing into the mirror, she began her morning skin ritual.
I wonder if he ever thinks of me, she began to wonder. Stop it Rachel. It's been 5 years; you are an independent woman who needs no-one. You are in the city of your dreams. You are on Broadway; this is what you have always wanted. Well almost she told herself. After only getting the understudy role of Fanny Price during her freshman year at NYADA, Rachel had thrown herself into her studies. That was until Daisy was born. She could still remember the doctor's appointment like yesterday.
"What do you mean I'm pregnant – I was in here 2 months ago and YOU told me that it was a false positive on my home pregnancy test and that I was not pregnant!" she had screamed at Dr Burk.
She could see the doctor turning pink.
"This can happen Miss Berry when your HCG levels are low, not very own often but it can happen" Dr Burk hesitated. "I am really sorry but you are 12 weeks pregnant."
She just sat there stunned, unable to speak. 12 weeks. 12 fricking weeks! Where was she 12 weeks ago? April, March, February…Rachel gasped. She knew instantly. She knew who the father was. Well, who it could be as there were two possibilities. How could she have been so stupid!
Dressing herself she entered into the living space in the flat she shared with Santana. After Kurt and Blaine got engaged, Santana and Rachel had agreed to find their own place to give the couple their own space. After all, they needed the space for the baby growing inside of Rachel anyway and Rachel could not afford a place of her own.
Rachel peered into Daisy's room to see that she was still fast asleep. Dark brown wavy hair was poking out of the pink flowered duvet. Rachel could see the duvet raising and falling slowly and in rhythm to the quiet snoring coming from her daughter. Rachel couldn't quite believe she had a 4 year old daughter.
"Can't quite believe she is so normal, considering you've raised her by yourself man hands" Santana stated as she wandered pass Rachel.
Rachel took a deep breath both annoyed and sadden by what Santana had said. She hadn't known who Daisy's father was when she was pregnant. She had tried to speak to the possible fathers but one was too busy with his show to give her the time of day and the other….
She walked over to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She hadn't spoken his name in so long. She had willed herself not to think about him after she had visited him at his dorm. He had been busy. Busy with….
Her eyes welled up remembering that day. She had denied ever knowing who the father was when she was pregnant, but as Daisy got older it was getting harder and harder to deny. It had been easy to lie when Daisy was younger as Daisy was almost the splitting image of her, right down to her nose and small stature. But her eyes.
She had known when Daisy first opened her eyes. They were his. She had never been able to resist those eyes. Talking a sip of the hot coffee Rachel threw herself onto the couch.
"I wish you would stop calling me man hands Santana" Rachel spat.
"Someone is in a mood" Santana spat back.
Rachel glared at Santana. "I thought you were trying to be nicer to people."
"I am – sorry I am just tired. You know I go back to that angry place when I'm tired" Santana spoke as she threw her arms up. "Mini you had me up all night playing with her."
Rachel smiled slightly as she knew that Daisy loved to play dress up and afternoon tea with everyone.
"Thanks again Santana for looking after her. I was almost sure that I was going to be able to go on last night but Julia turned up while I was in makeup. I don't know how she gets away with being so late and moody all the time! It's so unprofessional!" Rachel said frustrated.
Santana shrugged "You'll get your shot; you just need to be patient."
"I have been patient! I have been her understudy for 5 years. 5 years! Every single time I think that I am going to be able to go on – she turns up!" Rachel sighed bitterly. "How am I ever going to be able to prove that it should have been me in the first place if I can't even get on the stage?"
"I know you are frustrated Rach but you just need to wait. She has to slip up sometime" Santana uttered. "At least you have Lady Hummel's wedding to look forward to."
Rachel sighed. Kurt was getting married in a month and she knew she would have to face him. After avoiding Lima and his phone calls for 5 years, she was going to have to see him. There was no possible way out as Kurt wanted her as his bridesmaid and she couldn't say no to Kurt. She had managed to blow him off for a while when it came to anything to do with the rest of the bridal party, but she knew it was just a matter of time.
"Imagine the look on Finnocence when he finds out you have a daughter!" Santana exclaimed trying to hold back laughter.
"He isn't going to! It has nothing to do with him! Santana don't you dare!" Rachel growled back.
"Touchy Berry. He will find out you know. Can't believe you haven't spoken to him in like 5 years. It's ridiculous. Fair enough you don't want him to know about Brody's spawn but you guys were crazy about each other!" Santana answered.
Rachel felt her eyes well up as she was reminded of how much he meant to her and how much she had loved him. She needed to get out and clear her head. She had thought about him too much – it was too painful.
"Something's are better off in the past Santana" Rachel replied quietly. "Would you mind watching Daisy while I go for a run?"
Santana nodded while giving Rachel a knowing look. She understood. It would be the first time Santana would be seeing her ex-girlfriend Brittany as well.
Rachel went and changed into her workout clothes before exiting the flat. She needed some distance. She began sprinting down the stairs and out the door down the block. She needed to get him out of her head, it had been 5 years. It wasn't as if she hadn't tried to go on dates to find someone else but they all seemed to go nowhere for one reason or another. She had given all sorts of reasons. Too clingy. Not committed. Too short. Plain boring. But she knew the real reason.
They weren't him.