Author's Note: Okay! Just as a quick note, in case you were wondering pairings are…Harold and Izzy (Hizzy?), Geoff and Katie (Gatie? Keff? G-Kat? If you can make a good pairing name for this couple, I applaud you), and Courtney and Noah (CoNo?) Enjoy!
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Fourteen teens sat in the first row of velvety seats, cursing Chris for bringing them to the auditorium before the sun was even up. The auditorium itself was large enough to fit a family of elephants—comfortably—and so much on the fancy side that any self-respected psychotic opera ghost would die to crash a chandelier in it.
Red velvet curtains were draped over the stage in front of them. A bright spotlight was focused in the center of the curtains, a blatant clue to where their host was going to pop out of.
"We know you're back there, Chris!" Duncan growled, standing up angrily. The delinquent was still in pajamas and looked tired enough to have Boo Radley a little concerned. Then again, nobody else looked much better.
"Not this again," Noah yawned, his face buried in a paperback. "Every day, you act like you're ready to rip the seat out of your chair and beat Chris to death with it. Give it a rest."
"Insulting Duncan while reading Pride and Prejudice…" Trent noted, glancing at Noah's book. "Nice knowing you, man." Duncan still looked ticked off, but surprisingly, he just slid back into his chair.
"Too tired," he grumbled. "You better sleep with one eye open, nerd."
"Thanks for the warning," deadpanned Noah. "Please, just don't steal my pants this time."
"There's a plea you don't hear often," Bridgette laughed as she raised an eyebrow at the bickering roommates. She looked around at the other irritable teens surrounding here. "None of you guys are morning people, I take it?"
"I'd count Geoff in," Courtney said dryly. "But…well…" she jerked a thumb to the seat to her left, where sure enough, Geoff was honing his imitation of a chainsaw as he slouched lethargically in his chair.
"Hey, where's Izzy?" Cody asked suddenly.
"She was awake before the rest of us were," Beth told him, shrugging. "She could be anywhere by now. I still can't get over how huge this place is!"
True to her words, Total Drama Action was held in a mansion that, in terms of unnecessary flaunts of one's wealth, had everything under the moon. The previous eight challenges had involved things such as an Agatha Christie-esque murder mystery caper, a Matrix style laser tag fight in a black light room, a let's-see-who-can-run-from-Chef-with-a-chainsaw horror challenge that made Tobe Hooper wince, and an Italian Job Mini Cooper car chase that took them all the way downtown. (The chasing cops only perfected the scene, apparently.)
"In this reality, Chris isn't cheap! Awesome!" Harold added, but no one heard him or the slight chinkity-chink-chink when the fourth wall cracked a little.
"HELLO, CAMPERS!" A familiar voice greeted, making them all jump when it came from the door that they came from, rather from the stage. Chris stood in the doorway, holding a megaphone to amplify his words.
"We're standing right here!" Katie wailed, covering her ears. "That was totally unnecessary!"
"Unnecessary?" Chris repeated, lowering the megaphone. "Not so! Watch and learn?" He walked over to Geoff (who was still asleep, oddly), and shouted, with the megaphone—"RISE AND SHINE!"
"AAH!" Geoff wailed, bolting upright. He adjusted his cowboy hat, blinked a few times, and gave Chris a thumb's up. "Awesome megaphone, dude!" Katie giggled, and a good amount of the rest of the campers just rolled their eyes.
"Chris, do you have to wake us up so early?" Justin whined. "I too need my beauty sleep, so I can do this…" to prove his point, he ripped off his shirt, poured a bottle of water over his head that appeared out of nowhere, and all the water evaporated on his skin by the SHEER POWER OF HIS HOTNESS.
The girls swooned. Some of the guys swooned. Noah just slapped his forehead.
"Well…that is pretty impressive," Chris admitted. "But we've got a tight schedule to run!"
"Alright then, what's the challenge?" Courtney asked eagerly.
"And please, don't tell us something like--" Eva started, scowling, but it was too late.
"Tonight, campers, you will have a date with Lady Luck! Risk it all, and hope that fortune is on your side!"
Blank stares came from the campers.
Chris sighed in annoyance.
"Tonight, campers, is gambling night! Later this night, you will be given thirty chips to start out with. You'll play for…well, a good amount of time. At the end of the night, the top three chip-earners get immunity. The rest are on the chopping block!"
"So…why did we have to get up so early, if the challenge isn't tell tonight?" Lindsay asked, pouting.
"Yeah, what's in the tight schedule," Trent made quotation marks with his fingers on the emphasized words. "For the next, what, sixteen hours?"
"Spot-on guess, dude!" Chris said pleasantly. "You do have to report to the west hall at eight PM. From there, we'll lead you farther. As for the sixteen hours, well…I have to find some cards…"
"WHAT?!" came the indignant cry of fourteen campers.
"Kidding! I'm kidding!" Chris rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, take a joke…"
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(Lindsay and Beth's Room)
"I have coffee!" Beth said happily as she used to her foot to push her way into the room. Lindsay was situated in front of their room's laptop, clicking away.
"Ooh, then come in!" Lindsay begged, waving her friend over but not taking her eyes off of the screen.
"What'cha looking at?" inquired Beth, handing Lindsay her white chocolate mocha frappucciono something-or-other.
"I'm learning how to play poker!" Lindsay replied happily. She swiveled around in her chair. "It's kinda fun. Wikipedia is so helpful!"
"WIKIPEDIA IS NOT A RELIABLE SOURCE!" Harold cried indignantly from the room to the left of theirs. Beth and Lindsay paused for a moment, blinking in confusion, but then resumed their conversation.
"What games have you learned so far?" Beth asked.
Lindsay looked confused.
"Games?" she repeated.
Beth…well, she also looked confused.
"Well, sure Lindsay. I'm sure there'll be a bunch of games tonight—like blackjack, craps, five-card draw…"
"Oh!" Lindsay clapped her hands together. "Right! I'm not there yet, though."
"Um, so where are you at?"
"Well, I found out that the clover-y suit is called clubs!" The blonde crossed her arms and grinned. Beth put a hand on Lindsay's shoulder.
"Uh, Lindsay? You might want some help here."
"Oh, I get that a lot…" Lindsay sighed. Beth, flustered, turned red.
"Um, I didn't mean it meanly! I just thought maybe we could ask someone else to teach you some poker games. It might help later tonight!" Lindsay's face immediately returned to its bubbly look.
"Oh, that would be so cool! Who're we gonna ask?"
"We could try Harold," offered Beth.
"Well…OK," Lindsay mused, shrugging. "Would he know what the pointy suit is?" With her index fingers, she drew in the air with what Beth was fairly certain was a diamond.
"Let's just go, OK?" Beth said quickly, dragging her friend out of the room.
(Harold's Room)
Harold was still muttering to himself about the evils of Wikipedia and the fact that his brother kept e-mailing him nonsense, like the fact that the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile had crashed into someone's house. Like he actually cared about…okay, maybe he did care, but it was still weird.
He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door.
"Hi Harold!" Beth and Lindsay greeted cheerfully in perfect unison.
"We have a favor to ask…" Beth started hopefully. "Do you know how to play poker?"
"Yes."
"Can you teach Lindsay and give me a refresher course?" Beth blurted out. Not waiting for an answer, she added "Please please please with a cherry on top and all the other things that go on top!"
"Okay," Harold replied, nodding. He paused for a moment—thinking—and added, "If you can do two things for me." This phrase was somewhere up there with "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse…" on the 'I-really-don't-want-to-hear-that' scale, but Lindsay and Beth didn't seem to mind it.
"Sure!" Lindsay squealed. "As long as they're not, like, mean and stuff."
"They're not," Harold assured the blonde. "First, I need you to agree to everything that I tell you. I am the master! And to learn poker, you must learn from the master! And…uh…you have to do what the master tells you!"
"Uh..." Lindsay started.
"Um…" added Beth.
"I'll take your hedging as a yes," Harold wheezed. "Then, I need you to do a favor for me. You're both girls…"
"No, really?" Beth exclaimed, using a sarcastic streak that was shown about as much as The Chevy Chase Show.
"And well," Harold continued. "I figured it would be easier for girls to talk to another girl and set up a situation where the girl gets to talk to a guy, because said girl is very hard to pin down and talk to especially if you're not a girl."
For a moment or two there was nothing but an awkward, very confused pause, and Harold wondered to himself if he finally broke the record for most usages of 'girl' in one sentence. Then, Lindsay and Beth's eyes grew wide as realization settled in.
"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay wailed excitedly.
"You have a crush!" Beth finished.
"Who is it?" They asked in unison, with frighteningly huge grins.
Harold immediately regretted asking them for the favor. He tapped his fingers together. "Um…well…"
The camera spun away in a rapid blur, going all the way to a new room.
"What's up?" Geoff asked happily as he waved to the camera.
"IT'S NOT HIM!!!" Harold shouted from down the hall. Geoff looked confused, and the camera rapidly switched back to Lindsay, Beth, and Harold.
"Gosh!" Harold groaned. "Idiots! It's Izzy!" He slapped his forehead.
"Effie?" Lindsay asked, surprised.
"No, I said Iz--"
"It's the closest she's gonna get," Beth whispered to Harold.
"Oh. Okay."
"Well…we'll try to get you and her together," Beth added, looking thoughtful. "No guarantees though. Anyways, can you teach us some poker?"
"Mad poker teaching skills—activate!" Harold exclaimed, dashing back into his room.
"That's yes, right?" Lindsay mumbled.
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(Noah and Duncan's Room)
"Can you stop glaring at me? I'm trying to read, and your hatred is distracting," Noah sighed, putting his book down for the first time since he had woken up. Duncan scowled, turning up the volume on his iPod.
"You should be lucky you can read at all," Duncan muttered, leaning on the headboard of his somewhat-frilly four-poster bed.
"Okay, now that's just ridiculously loud," Noah complained, referring to Duncan's music. "Can you turn it down?"
"Can't hear you!" Duncan informed him sarcastically, cupping a hand around his ear to accentuate his point. Noah, feeling impatient and irritated, grabbed a hardback and tossed it across the room. For once in the long seventeen years of Noah's life, his aim was perfect, and the book hit Duncan right in the head. Immediately, Noah regretted the impulse, even though it was kind of fun.
"Whoops," said the braniac, with a deer-in-headlights look.
Duncan, with a surprisingly calm manner, stood up and grabbed Noah's digital camera and an armful of his books. He then stomped over to the bathroom.
A faint flushing sound could be heard.
In another moment, he walked back into the room and sat on the bed once again.
"I think the toilet's clogged," Duncan said loudly. Noah sighed.
"That was…overkill."
Duncan gave Noah an evil look that broke the creepy scale.
"Then again," Noah said quickly. "I'm certainly not complaining, I mean there's nothing wrong with…" and so his frantic rambling stretched on for the next five minutes, including subjects like his evident love for Colin Hay.
Duncan just rolled his eyes, and turned his music up louder.
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(Katie and Izzy's Room) ::Warning, spoilers for various shows ending in the word 'Girls'::
"Where is she?" Katie wondered aloud, pondering Izzy's location as she switched back and forth between Gossip Girl, The Golden Girls, Gilmore Girls, and Spongebob. Eventually she sighed, and turned off the TV.
"Maybe I should call somebody…" she mumbled to herself. She rolled off her bed, and started to head towards the door.
She paused, frozen with fear, when she felt someone put an arm around her.
"How you doin'?" Izzy giggled in a sultry voice.
"HOLY COW!" Katie wailed, falling over and landing on her head.
"Wow!" Izzy exclaimed as she peered at the dizzy-looking tan girl on the floor. "That worked better than I thought it would. I thought about adding explosions—you know, to add flair—but the cameramen won't give them to me anymore."
"Where…were…you?" Katie managed to gasp out.
"Hanging from the chandelier."
"For how long?!"
"Long enough to find out that Lily and Rufus are engaged, Jess has left Stars Hollow yet again, The Golden Girls is filled with old people, and not to mention I gained knowledge of who lives in a pineapple under a sea!"
"Ugh…"
Izzy waited patiently for Katie to get up. When Katie still wasn't up after a minute and a half, Izzy offered Katie her hand.
"Thanks," muttered Katie as Izzy helped her up.
"So, is your head okay?" Izzy asked, sounding a little nervous. "Sorry, I didn't mean for you to actually fall down! I don't actually hurt people. Unless they're annoying. Or mean. Or work at Costco. I did want you to freak out though, hopefully that's A-OK!"
"I'm used to it," Katie laughed. "Oh, you probably didn't hear about the challenge tonight."
"Casino night!"
"Huh?" Katie was surprised. "Well, yeah that is it. How'd you know? You weren't in the…" for a moment, Katie paused. Then she grinned. "Hanging from the chandelier then, too?"
"Ah, you know me too well!" Izzy grinned right back. "Our ceiling is much more comfy though. In case you were wondering."
"Well, I'll keep that in mind in case I ever become a bat," Katie replied. She said nothing for a moment, but then a curious expression crossed her face.
"Ooh, don't tell me!" Izzy squealed. "Are you having a vision? Because that would be so cool! My uncle used to see the future and--"
"No, it's not that…" Katie said eerily. "There's gossip somewhere out there. Hm…a new crush…"
"You mean like your crush on Geoff?" asked Izzy. Katie turned red, and shook her head, unable to emit any other noise besides a guilty/nervous squeak.
"Aw, it's okay!" Izzy giggled. "I bet he likes you too!" Katie shrugged, frowned, and said goodbye to Izzy as she walked out the door, determined to find the new gossip before…well, before…whatever dangers lie in the art of gossiping. Heaven forbid the gossip just becomes a plain old fact.
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(Later that night…)
After gathering near the west hall, on a checkered floor lined with statues, they were successfully freaked out by Chris, who had hidden himself in a suit of armor. They were led by the Chris-knight, (here, some Brady Bunch references were forcefully repressed), all the way to a large wooden door.
Dramatically, (is there any other way to open a large wooden door?) he swung it open, and the campers ooh'd and ahh'd as they came into view of a surprisingly large casino room.
The walls all had murals of poker-related objects (such as cards chips and dice. If I may add the colloquialism—duh.) Stacked in various parts of the room were fake, oversized dice, as big as Chris's ego. Wooden tables covered in green felt were also present, and each table had a sparkly silver suitcase on it.
"Another chandelier?" Noah asked in exasperation as he peered at yet another overpriced lighting fixture hanging in the room. "That has got to be the most unnecessary…" He glanced around, and saw that no one was paying attention to him. "Okay, c'mon, it's not that great of a room. I've seen better."
"Are you kidding?" Courtney scoffed, rolling her eyes at Noah. "Even you have to admit that this is not that bad. Only thing that's missing is--"
"George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon?" Katie giggled.
"Uh, no," Courtney replied, evidently not getting the reference-in-a-reference. "I was about to say, I'm guessing the chips and cards are in the suitcases, right? So, who are the dealers in the games?"
"Excellent question!" Chris replied, as he lifted up the visor of his helmet. "The answer to your question is the answer to any and all troubles…unpaid interns!"
With that appealing intro, four teenagers walked into the room, and took their seats at separate tables.
"Manning the craps table will be Connie!" Chris pointed to said table where a pineapple-head blonde grinned amiably. "At the blackjack table…Luke!" Luke, a glasses-wearing brunet, gave a not-so-friendly eye roll. "Don't mind him, he and Connie are just fighting…"
"Hey!" Connie and Luke complained in unison.
"At five-card draw, Naomi!" Here was another blonde, who looked like she was gonna hit somebody with her sparkly silver suitcase. "And finally, at the Wawanakwa Hold 'Em table--"
"It's really Texas Hold 'Em!" the fourth brunet intern assured the group.
"That would be Harper, who evidently has no respect for imagination."
"Changing one word in a title is not imagination," Luke muttered.
"Whatever! Anyways, castmates, I know this is pretty small amount of games for a casino, but there are only fourteen of you so…deal with it.'
"Can't argue with that," Cody said pleasantly. "How much time to we get to play, Chris?"
"Two hours! At ten o' clock, we'll tally up the chips and then we'll have the elimination. Anyways…go ahead and gamble!"
The campers weren't used to actually having time to amble around, so for a while they just awkwardly stood there. Eventually, they began to depart for the poker games.
"Which game are you gonna do first, Lindsay?" Beth asked her friend as they walked around the casino.
"Oh, I think I'll go try out crabs!"
"That's craps, Lindsay," Beth corrected.
"Oh, I know. It's just that this is going to air on Cartoon Network, and I really don't like my censorship voice actress…"
"Ah," Beth said knowingly, with a quick nod. They hovered over the four games, where some of the contestants had already begun to play. "I probably should find Izzy, so I can talk to her…"
"Is she missing again?" Katie asked the two as she waited for Harper to finish shuffling the cards. "Check the chandelier." If this was anyone besides Izzy they were talking about, the girls would've been concerned, but like many others, they had gotten used to the oddities of Izzy. So, they did a 360 around the chandelier and saw Izzy and the opposite end.
"Hey there!" Beth greeted, waving.
"Oh, hey, what's up?" Izzy giggled. She wobbled for a moment, and then came crashing down off of the chandelier. Lindsay screamed. Beth, evidently, can't scream but she would've screamed is she could've screamed.
"That was fun!" Izzy squealed. "Not a smooth landing like before…and I like that! Ha!" Lindsay and Beth exchanged glances.
"Um, so Izzy…" Beth began.
"E-SCOPE!"
"Right, E-Scope…"
"EXPLOSIVO!"
"E…Explosivo?"
"ESQUIRE!"
"Which one?!" wailed Beth with an 'Oh dear God'-esque arm-flailing.
"Oh, I dunno," Izzy clucked as she hopped up and assessing the girls in front of her. "Anyways, my first question still stands! What's up?"
"The challenge is…going on…" Lindsay said nervously. "Well, I should probably get started and--" Beth elbowed her gently. Lindsay clamped her mouth shut and stayed where she was.
"Anyways, we were just wondering--"
"NO, I WILL NOT DOUBLE DOWN!" Eva's roaring left Beth with yet another interruption. "STOP GIVING ME CRAPPY ADVICE AND JUST HAND OUT THE CARDS, CARD BOY!"
"You tell 'em, Eva!" Izzy cackled. "What were you saying, Beth?"
"I was just going to say that, uh…" Beth wasn't sure how to do this, so she just said: "Um, want to join me, Lindsay, and Harold in craps, I mean, since the challenge started and all?"
"Sure! I've got some mad luck skills! The RCMP is always after me Lucky Charms! And by Lucky Charms I mean my skirt! It's full of luck! It kissed the Blarney Stone, after all! It's as lucky as Barbie is disproportionate!"
"Wait, what?" Beth asked, a little confused at the choice of similes.
"Well it's true," Izzy remarked. "I mean, if Barbie was a real person, with those big boobs and small waist she'd tip right over! It's kinda funny, really! No one would..." she paused, and tilting her head, stared at Lindsay. Beth couldn't help but stare, curiously, at Lindsay too, wondering if she was gonna tip over anytime soon.
"I'm confused..." Lindsay complained, not getting it at all.
"Uh, it's nothing Lindsay," Beth said quickly. Whistling innocently, the three girls headed over to the craps table.
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"And she doesn't take anything seriously! I mean, she always tries to make things seem happier and try to point out the bright side and that only makes things worse!"
"Good God, man!" Noah begged. "Enough about your love life! Just deal out the cards."
Luke scowled, but obliged.
Courtney, who had just taken her leave off of Wawanakwa Hold 'Em, sat down next to Noah and placed down her significantly larger amount of chips.
"How's everyone doing over here?" She asked, smiling happily.
"You're in a good mood," Bridgette noted. "Lots of loot, huh?"
"Definitely," she agreed. "Nobody over there can read my poker face. And if anyone starts breaking out in song, I will take one of Eva's dumbbells and throw it at you."
"And I'll gladly give it to you," Eva grumbled, angrily looking over her own steadily depleting stash of chips. Courtney nodded approvingly, and then turned her gaze towards Luke.
"Luke, is it? I see you're only using one deck."
"Well…yeah." Pretty darn eloquent, that Luke.
"Well, what about card counters?" Courtney pressed, directing a suspicious glare towards Noah.
"Oh come on, you don't think I would do that, would you?" Noah questioned, unable to hide a smirk.
"Don't make me laugh. Of course you would. You're smart enough to, after all."
"Thank you."
"I didn't mean that as a compliment!"
"I'm failing to see how it could be perceived as an insult," Noah responded with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders. Courtney scowled. "If it's any consolation, you're probably smart enough to do so as well."
"As if I would cheat!" Courtney exclaimed angrily. "Ugh, just deal out the cards, Luke."
Luke muttered something about hypocrisy, but acquiesced. After several rounds of "hit me's", "I'm staying's", and "STOP TRYING TO GIVE ME ADVICE, DIPSTICK'S", (from Eva, of course) Courtney began loudly engaging Noah in conversation.
"SO!" She exclaimed, in a volume that was very un-Courtney-like. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU PLAYED POKER FOR, NOAH?!" Bridgette and Eva exchanged confused glances. Noah, on the other hand, grimaced, and kept his eye on the game. Courtney cleared her throat impetuously, and then continued shouting. "DID YOU KNOW IN REAL CASINOS THEY USUALLY USE FIVE OR SIX DECKS?!" Noah avoided looking at Courtney, despite his wavering concentration. A moment passed. Then, Courtney went back to her own hand.
And, without looking away from her cards, pushed Noah off of his stool.
Eva snickered, and Bridgette peered at Noah, concerned. Noah let out a string of PG-13 curses, and Courtney smiled triumphantly.
"No worries, Noah," said the CIT, with a sanctimonious flick of the hair. "A break in concentration won't matter—after all, you're no card counter, right?" Noah sat back down on his stool, and couldn't help but smirk at Courtney.
"No, of course not. Ante up Courtney, because the day you beat me in poker will be the day Lindsay can spell 'onomatopoeia'."
"You're making sound like it'll actually be a challenge," Courtney scoffed, but she grinned all the same, and laid down her chips.
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The craps table, unsurprisingly, was just about as colorful as the blackjack table. Playing was the quartet of Izzy, Harold, Beth, and Lindsay. Currently, the roller was Beth, and every time she avoided a seven, they all burst into deafening cheers.
"Ha!" Connie laughed over the roar of the players. She glanced at Luke, and said loudly, "Over here, everyone's a winner! Not to mention I'm not stealing money like…like a money stealer!" And with that somewhat lacking insult, she nodded and turned her head.
"All right," Connie said to her players. "Time to resume my duty…"
"You said 'doodie'…" snickered Harold. Beth, not responding to this (what was there to add?), shook her dice and threw them onto the craps board. She rolled a five and a four, and this got cheers of approval from Harold, Izzy, and Lindsay, who had all placed bets on the number nine.
"Will you stop shouting?!" Luke complained from the table a few feet away. "You're going to make me go deaf!" Connie stuck her tongue out at him and most certainly did not acquiesce.
"When I say craps, you say table! Craps!"
"Table!" Harold, Izzy, and Beth cheered.
"Craps!"
"Table!"
"Shut it!" Once again, the complainer was Luke, who, unhelpful as it was, had his hands over his ears.
"Make me!" Connie chucked her sparkly silver suitcase at the blackjack dealer, who tumbled off of his stool in response. The amount of sympathy at Luke's table was pretty lacking—Eva laughed, Bridgette slapped her forehead, Courtney raised an eyebrow, and Noah smirked.
The craps table exchanged high-fives with each other, and grinned.
"When I say butter, you say toast!" Izzy giggled.
"When I say Springer, you say host!" exclaimed Lindsay.
"When I say holy, you say ghost!" added Beth.
"When I say pot, you say roast!" sang Connie.
"When I say…um…" Harold blinked. "Crap."
"That's okay, Harold!" Izzy laughed, as she punched him on the shoulder cheerfully. (Unbeknownst to Izzy, this caused a lot more pain then intended.) "There'll be other chances to rhyme in a very cheerleader fashion! It doesn't matter if you can't rhyme anyway, unless of course you're aspiring to be a cheerleader, in which case I'll teach you to rhyme for sixty bucks!"
"I'm sure if we started a new rhyme I could--" Harold started hopefully, but was interrupted.
"Too late!" Connie exclaimed. "Time to roll, Beth!"
"In the get-up-and-go way, or the dice way?"
"The dice way."
"Right…" Beth rolled the dice onto the board, and then groaned when she got a four and a three.
"Aw…" Connie winced, sympathetically. "You crapped out, sorry." She took away the chips on the board and added them to her own stash. "Wanna play again?"
"Sure!" Izzy and Harold said simultaneously. Beth nudged Lindsay, and winked.
"We're gonna head to…uh…five-card draw," Beth said hurriedly, hopping off of her stool. "See you guys later!" Beth grabbed Lindsay by the elbow and dragged her across the room, all the while giggling to each other.
"Bye guys!" Izzy replied, waving at them with a huge grin. "Oh hey, they forgot their chips!"
"That's okay," Connie told Izzy. "I can just take the chips for them." After the blonde did as she said, she nodded towards the two in front of her. "So, who wants to roll?"
"Um…you wanna go first?" Harold asked Izzy, after the two had laid down their chips.
"Of course!" Izzy cackled, taking the dice away from Connie. "Isn't it like, so weird how Beth and Lindsay sought me out just to get us to play poker together, and then left so we were alone?"
Harold paled, and Izzy's grin grew.
"I mean," she continued. "It's almost like they were trying to set us up…" Harold still said nothing, and Izzy cleared her throat. "Nudge, nudge, wink, wink…" she hinted, elbowing Harold repeatedly. "Oops, I think I froze him. Maybe if I win some cash that'll knock him out of it!" Still elbowing the frozen Harold, she used her left hand to throw the dice onto the board.
"Eleven!" She exclaimed excitedly. "ELEVEN! The greatest number of all! I love any number that gives me money! Ha! Yes!" She hugged Harold, and Harold snapped out of his trance enough to hug her back.
Now, in a normal love-story situation, they would soon pull away, blushing. Izzy, however, went on squeezing Harold to death for a record breaking seven minutes.
Harold grinned, and silently thanked Lindsay, Beth, craps, and buttered toast.
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"Hey," Duncan said, as he sat down at the Wawanakwa/Texas Hold 'Em table. "How come Justin's the only one who plays at five-card draw? Ever?"
"Because Naomi really scares everyone there, except for Justin and his ultra-steamy super-dreamy Mchotness," Katie explained pleasantly. "Lindsay and Beth looked like they were gonna play, but I think Naomi scared them off."
Sure enough, Beth and Lindsay woozily stumbled by the table with cards in their hair.
"Ouch," Duncan commented. "So, what's going on here?"
"Well, we don't cheer as much as craps and we don't shout at each other as much as blackjack," Cody remarked, drumming his fingers on the green felt. "But I'd say it's going pretty well, right guys?"
"Heck yeah!" Geoff exclaimed. "Let's here it for Wawanakwa Hold 'Em!"
"He's been doing that every other minute…" Harper, the dealer, mumbled.
"So where have you been, Duncan?" Trent asked the delinquent as he took a seat. "I don't think I've seen you play at all."
"Ah, that's because I hate poker," grumbled Duncan. "I never win, and when I win someone else is losing and then they get pissed and push the table over."
"Well, you might want to play now," warned Katie. "Because time's almost up."
"Really? Aw, crap!"
Rounds passed by, in silent determination—the only sounds were the sounds from other tables—Eva shouting, Harold and Izzy cheering, and the thunk that was made whenever Luke was hit with a sparkly silver suitcase. (An event that happened an unusually large amount of times.)
"Looks like we only have time for one more round," Harper warned the five players. "Place your bets!"
"I'm all out of chips!" Katie realized. "How'd that even happen?!"
"When you suck at poker, you suck at poker," Duncan deadpanned, shrugging.
"Not helping!" Trent reminded him, rolling his eyes. Geoff frowned as he looked at Katie, who stared at the empty space in front of her with a Bambi-eyed my-mother-just-got-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van expression.
"Can I give my chips away?" Geoff asked Harper. Harper looked surprised.
"Uh…um…sure, I guess."
Geoff adjusted his cowboy hat, and grinned. "Then I'd like to give away my chips to Katie, please!" Katie's eyes widened and she just stared, as Geoff slid his large amount of chips in front of her.
"Uh, wait!" Katie said hurriedly. "You don't need to do that. That's too much to ask for!"
"No worries!" Geoff assured her. "I'm sure no one wants to vote me off!"
"Ha!" Duncan snorted.
"Stop ruining the moment!" Trent grumbled, again, as he considered following Courtney's example and push Duncan off the stool.
"Eeeee!" Katie squealed. Unable to help herself, she ran over to Geoff and hugged him quickly. "You're the best!" Geoff was about to say something positive, but was interrupted by everyone's favorite narcissistic host—
"Time's up!" Shouted the madman over an intercom. "Give your chips to your dealers and stay right where you are!"
"Thanks again," Katie said, quickly pecking Geoff on the cheek. "Good luck, tonight!" The tan one sat back down in her seat, and skillfully slid her hand into her pocket and started texting to Sadie about the night's events, all the while staring up ahead at Chris who stood in front of the four side-by-side tables.
"Alright!" He remarked. "Hopefully you all won some mullah! Anyways, if our four unpaid interns will bring the tallies of the chips up to me…"
The four interns looked nervous. Chris impatiently raised an eyebrow and said, "Okay, now would be nice…"
"Um…I kinda forgot to count the chips that were given to me," Connie said nervously as she held up her sparkly silver suitcase. "I just sorta…put them back into the case…"
"Me too," squeaked Luke, Naomi, and Harper.
"Are you freaking kidding me?!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "How on Earth could you…" he slapped his forehead. "Okay, okay…do you have a general idea of who had more chips?"
Four unpaid interns' heads shook themselves in unison.
Chris sighed in defeat.
"All right then. Campers, as much as I hate to say this…there'll be…no elimination tonight."
Cheers erupted from the fourteen said campers, who immediately rushed out of the makeshift casino back into their rooms. Chris glared at the interns, who slowly scooted back their stools, and stepped backwards.
"I take it we're fired?" Naomi asked.
"Pretty much," Chris replied in annoyance.
"Yes!" Harper cheered. The other three stared at him. "I mean…uh…oh no!"
"Just get out of here!" Chris ordered in exasperation.
"Fine!" Connie complained. "But I'm taking my sparkly silver suitcase with me!"
"And with that lovely note," Chris remarked sarcastically, turning to face the camera. "That's all for this episode, ladies and gentlemen. Tune in next time for Total…Drama…Act--" Chris never got to finish, because in that moment he got hit in the head with, you guessed it, a sparkly silver suitcase.
"I still got it!" cackled Connie, off screen.
And with a click, the camera turned off.
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Author's Note: SO MANY REFERENCES. Holy cow. Sorry about that. Anyways…sorry if poker is not something you know that well, I'm not very good at explaining things, so…
If you get the chance, please review!