-The Spectrum of Your Heart-
Characters: Kageyama Shigeo, Hanazawa Teruki, Body Improvement Club members.
Relationship: Hanazawa Teruki&Kageyama Shigeo
Contents: not explicitly shippy but it's not like teru isn't gay for shige, interpret it as you wish, could be seen as preslash, or how and why their relationship's dynamic shifted, what moved hanazawa to befriend shige, i call him shige in the tags but he is called kageyama the whole fic bc it's from teru's pers
A/N: As this is sorta coming from Teruki's POV Shige is going to be referred as Kageyama. Enjoy
-The Spectrum of Your Heart-
Even though he was the one standing, this was still Teruki's loss. Despite the extreme violence he showered Kageyama Shigeo with, the first Natural esper he ever came across, Teruki was unable to get him to use his powers.
He had him in his grasp, both figuratively and literally, but the stubborn boy wouldn't bulge even if Teruki didn't stop choking him. The boy rather chose the agonizing fear of death rather than submit to his fight or flight instinct. The strength and purity of that firm decision left him feel powerless, filthy and deeply ashamed.
Teruki turned to walk away but emotionally he didn't leave the fight. His brain kept replaying the final moments of his desperate attempts, the feel of Kageyama's flesh under his hands, his erratic heartbeat, the reddening face, the tears of pain and fear and desperation. Even as the powers instinctively responded to danger, he stubbornly refused to use them.
He only took a handful of steps before a massive burst of energy and light exploded behind him, almost knocking him over. Paralized by dread, he turned back slowly, holding his arms up to protect debris from flying into his face.
"What… is that?"
Kageyama's dark silhouette rose from the ground, his body in shadows despite the blinding white aura his power manifested around him. Teruki's lips pulled into a satisfied smirk. Looks like he still didn't lose. He still had a chance to win and squash the other esper.
Finally feeling like fighting back?
"Good! In the end you couldn't stay true to your ideals, either!" Once more, he summoned his full power, putting up the strongest shield he could manage. "Bring it! Final Barrier!"
It didn't take Kageyama a second to rip off his clothes and slam him in the wall behind him. Teruki fell to his knees and gasped in pain. Then he laughed.
"You used them." Despite his instincts screaming at him to turn tails and run, his wounded pride demanded that he taunted the other into falling down the same path as him, to ruin the Kageyama the same way he ruined Teruki. "You used them, Kageyama! You couldn't stand it anymore and used your psychic power! You used them against another person! In the end you too are-!"
Teruki's voice died off once he realised that Kageyama was completely unresponsive.
He's unconscious? Then what the hell is this power?
Be it from the sheer pressure Kageyama exuded or his rational mind catching up with his fear, perspiration broke out on Teruki's trembling body and lifted into the air.
The direction of the current around him changed, now flowing towards Kageyama instead of away from him. Teruki's eyes widened seeing his very own power succumb to the pull.
Kageyama is draining my power . A violent shiver ran across him at the realisation of how much more powerful Kageyama was. No, all the energy in the atmosphere is being sucked in by him! His vessel capable of handling this much?!"
No. It's not just that. Now that the cocky arrogance subsided he became aware of the dangers his intuition was screaming him. Within the one standing in front of him, there was something that must not be touched no matter what. Its source unknown. Unidentifiable.
He jumped with a frightened squeak when the classroom around him shattered to pieces and lifted to the sky.
"No way! Just what did I awaken?!"
He let out a shriek when invisible force he couldn't even struggle against lifted him up along with the debris, uprooted trees and the unconscious students scattered around with dizzying speed.
"That's enough!" he cried. "I get it already! I won't ever use my psychic power against people!"
He felt the air get knocked out of him when he stopped somewhere way above the clouds, high enough to see the Earth's curvature.
There was a beat of blissful nothingness then a rush of energy slammed into him. Teruki was left breathless as foreign emotions flowed into him in an overwhelming speed. The sheer, absolute power of Kageyama, like the white light, split to convey a whirlpool of emotions.
Numbness, anxiety, helplessness, self-hatred, regret, disappointment, grief, despair and most of all: crushing sorrow tinted with a bitter aftertaste of cold resignation. Emotions, indescribable by words clenched at his own heart, making his throat tighten up and his eyes water at their intensity.
Kageyama… so this is what you're so desperate to contain?
The last ounce of hostility disappeared from Teruki. Instead of that now only a burning ache burdened his heart.
Now he understood.
He got it. Kageyama was utterly lonely and scared. Just like him.
Unlike him though, Kageyama had the courage to not delude himself in a fabricated reality, but instead face his fears and fight them.
It didn't matter that Kageyama defeated him with overwhelming strength, unintentionally, Teruki did make Kageyama fail his own battle against himself - but unlike Teruki who cruelly hurt others to get rid of that void, Kageyama didn't deserve to feel this way.
I'm sorry, Kageyama .
He winced when he realised how blinded he was: he failed to realise that not even his psychic powers could undo an act like this. Kageyama kept trying to talk him out of his foolishness and save him from painful consequences - this is what he got for rejecting his kindness.
In the silence only his subdued voice could be heard.
"Ah… I was an average person this whole time."
The clouds parted under him and gently, he floated down. Before his eyes the peddles his school was reduced to reconnected to form bricks then walls. In the middle of the mess, he saw Kageyama's so far expressionless face was scrunched with grief, the torrent of tears unable to wash it away. Despite the buzzing exhaustion, Teruki felt guilt and shame swell within him that he pushed the poor boy into such state.
Everything was descended gently, the school put back together but its cracks visible, the testimony of the supernatural showdown of the espers. He himself was set on the ground, his knees buckling, feeling weak.
Registering his presence, Kageyama turned to him, face wiped of emotions again, temper back to his mental cage. "Hanazawa-kun, I-"
"It's fine, Kageyama," he cut him off, raising a hand between them, the other to cover his nakedness. "I no longer-"
What he intended to say was drowned out by the startled screams of Teruki's schoolmates. "He's been brutally executed! I'm not gonna let that happen to my hair!"
The delinquents who kissed his ass until now dashed away, leaving him behind without another word or a hint of remorse.
A wry chuckle hiccupped from his chest. "It's just as you said, Kageyama. Take the psychic power away and all that's left is-"
"Kageyama!"
Teruki stopped hearing the voice of one of the massive Salt Middle School students, followed by 4 others approach his fellow psychic.
"Kageyama-kun, are you ok?" One of the boys in white shirt and pink shorts asked. As the group saw what became of Teruki, who knocked them out effortlessly, their gazes turned worried. To Teruki's pleasant surprise though, it wasn't from Kageyama, but for him.
"President Musashi… I..."
An awkward silence stretched as Kageyama struggled to find the words that could explain this mess. Seeing his tense hesitation though, the guy let him off. "You're unhurt and that's only what matters. Let's go back to do some squats!"
The five hulking giants spared him a glance, then with Kageyama under their wing, they left him. Teruki found himself staring after the small but so heavily burdened back of Kageyama Shigeo. He was small, almost sickly so, a feature heavily prominent among the above average bodies of his friends. At first glance, the boy was the epitome of average with the bowl cut, expressionless face and that aloof air around him. But now he understood: this was but a facade to hide that thing from the world, to contain that whirlwind of emotions. A fight to become someone, something else than that. He really is someone extraordinary.
Hanazawa was caught flabbergasted when Kageyama's gaze turned back, his hand rising with his blue aura. Teruki tensed feeling the air whirl around him, gasping in surprise when he saw his torn clothes intertwine into one again and cover his nudity. Kageyama then gave a shy wave and disappeared from the perimeters, leaving Teruki to stand alone in front of his school.
Eyes still on the place he last saw Kageyama, Teruki's hands formed a fist. With this gesture Kageyama just extended his token of peace. It made Teruki smile wry. Even though he probably traumatised Kageyama, the boy still gave him a chance to redeem himself. And Teruki knew what he really wanted to do now. He would grow and be someone Kageyama… no Kageyama-kun could rely on.