I don't remember how I thought of this one shot. It might have been a song or another story. I just liked the idea and ran with it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (unfortunately) but I do own 43 posters that are hanging all over my walls.
I walked into the regular club. I went to my normal stool. I talked to the other regulars.
I did this every night, and I don't know why.
Edward, my boyfriend, hates when I do this. I do it anyway. He hates me drunk. I've had so much go wrong in my life though. Drinking is my way out. I get away from all the pain and sorrow. I don't have to deal with the past sneaking up on me.
Well, at least not until the next morning when I have a hangover and I remember the reasons for drinking in the first place.
"You want the usual, Bella?" Jake, the bartender, asked.
"Don't see why not." Always the same answer.
- - - - - - - - - -
About two, maybe three, hours later, I was drunker than normal. I had never been this drunk before. Tonight had been unusually bad. I just couldn't get the memories to go away tonight.
I had been sitting in the same spot this whole time. I needed to move. My legs were getting numb from sitting.
My legs dragged me out to the dance floor. There were many other drunks out there. None of them were anywhere as close to drunk as I was.
The dance songs were playing. Everyone was grinding on each other. The pounding beat of the music was pulsing through me. I was letting the music control my every move. I had been dancing by myself, as far as I knew, but now there was someone behind me grinding along with me.
"Can I dance with you, baby?" I had never heard this voice before. I turned to see a tanned, well-built, handsome man. It was probably the alcohol in me, but whatever it was brought out my answer.
"You can do more than dance."
"You lead, babe."
So, I started grinding on him. The longer we danced, the more heated our moves became. Before too long, we were making out and groping each other in the middle of the dance floor.
"There's beds in the back." I told this complete stranger.
He lead me one of the rooms in the back of the bar where the beds are. I had never had sex with a complete stranger. I had a boyfriend. I shouldn't have been doing this. But, I did it anyway.
I knew it was wrong. The whole time. His touch wasn't Edward. His kiss wasn't Edward. None of what he did was Edward, but I didn't care. I was too drunk to care.
I had sex with this man. And, I knew I shouldn't have. I should have gone home. I could have broken the routine. But, I didn't. I never did. I never will.
- - - - - - - - - -
Somehow I called a cab after the disaster of last night.
I woke up to the warmth of my bed. Still in my outfit from last night and more hung-over than ever, I walked into my bathroom to get water and aspirin.
My phone beeped. I had a text from Edward.
I'll be over today. I have to tell you something important.-E
That's when it all hit me. The cup of water dropped to the floor.
Not only did I get drunk last night, I cheated on Edward. I always got drunk, but I had never cheated. That just wasn't me. I didn't do that. Drunk or not.
Shit! He was going to be here soon. How do I explain this? I can't not tell him.
The doorbell rang. This was it. I had to tell him.
"Bella." I broke. Just his voice. I couldn't even deal with his voice after what I did.
Of course, him being Edward, he comforted me. I tried to push him away. I was sobbing so hard that I couldn't say anything.
I finally just gave in. I might as well take the comfort while he's still offering it.
I cried for a while. At least it felt like a while. Although it couldn't have been more than 20 minutes.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked when I had stopped.
"I did something horrible last night. So horrible that you won't forgive me."
"What? I know you got drunk. You do every night." Ouch! It is the truth though.
"Edward… Last night…"
"Just tell me. Don't drag it out."
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his reaction. "I slept with someone last night." I whispered so quiet that I barely heard it. My eyes were closed for almost 10 minutes.
I looked up and saw tears. I had them in my eyes, but that isn't the tears I saw. They were falling down his face. They weren't stopping anytime soon either. It was the most heartbreaking sight ever.
"Why?"
"I don't know." I really didn't. I was sobbing through my explanation. "I was so drunk last night, Edward. Drunker than ever. The alcohol was just controlling me. I don't know why I slept with him."
"Did you know him?"
"No. I had never met him before."
"Did you like it?" Of course not!
"No! Edward, the whole time I was comparing him to you. His touch, kiss, movements. Everything was wrong. It wasn't you."
"I can't. I just can't." He was going to yell. I know it. He is pinching his nose. He's gonna yell. "GOD DAMN IT!" He shot up of the couch.
I couldn't speak. I wanted to apologize a million times over. I knew it wouldn't help anything. Nothing could help this.
"Fuck, Bella! What did I ever do?" I sobbed harder. "I never cheated. I never flirted. You got drunk, I didn't complain. You sleep through our anniversary because you had a hangover, I didn't say a word. NEVER!"
I finally spoke the dreaded two words. "I'm sorry."
"YOU'RE SORRY?! That doesn't help anything. At all. If anything, that makes it worse. You shouldn't have anything to be sorry for."
"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't mean to. I was too drunk."
"Maybe that's the problem. You need to stop drinking."
"I can't! It gets rid of my problems. I don't have to deal with them when I'm drunk! I can forget about everything."
"Well, until you quit drinking, I can't do this. I just can't." He stopped to cry. I had never seen him cry before. Now that I have, it's heartbreaking. And to know that I caused it makes it that much worse.
"Can't do what?"
"This." His waved his hands between the two of us through his tears. "This doesn't work when you drink. Apparently, you can't handle your problems and your relationships at the same time."
I finally understood. We were through. Edward and Bella were no more. We were done. Finished.
"If you think that's what's best."
"It feels like it." His voice was breaking at every word.
All I could do was nod. The tears weren't stopping anytime soon. I didn't know if they were ever going to stop.
"I'm gonna go home now, Bella. If you ever need help, just call. But, if you can, give me at least a few days." Again, just nodding.
He came over and hugged me. We both knew that I was wrong. He was just that kind of person. He was a guardian. I need comfort and he was going to give it to me whether I'd hurt him or not.
I cried into his shoulder for 10 minutes before he pulled back. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. He slipped something into my hand.
"This is what I came here to talk to you about. Call me if you need to know anything else." With that, he was out the door.
I called into work when I worked up a voice and stopped crying. I told them that I was sick and couldn't make it in. My rough voice probably convinced them.
For hours, I sat on the couch replaying the scene over in my head. I held myself together with my arms around my stomach while I sobbed uncontrollably.
When I ran out of tears, I look at the paper in my hand. It was a business card.
Alcoholic Helpers
Want to stop drinking? Call us.
555-123-4567
Are you constantly drunk? Do you want to quit?
Just call. We can help.
He really did care. It was so him. I flipped the card over just to see if there was anything there. Of course.
Bella- I know you drink to get rid of your problems,
but I can't deal with it anymore. Please get help.
I love you so much. Drunk Bella isn't you. Get help.
Just try. For me. I love you. So much. -Edward
I dialed the numbers into my phone. All I had to do was press send. That's exactly what I did.
For the first time in my life, I was going to ask someone for help. I needed exactly that. Someone to rid me of my problems.
"Alcoholic Helpers. This is Alice. How can assist you?"
"Umm… I'm Isabella Swan and I need to check into for help. I need to quit drinking."
"Alright, honey. When would you like to come down?"
Depending on what people say about this, I might make it a two-shot. I don't have a second chapter written, but I know what it would be.
So, if you like it and want to see what happens, REVIEW!