Strange Magic
By: PhoenixJustice
Disclaimer: The Dresden Files belong to Jim Butcher; I only own this story and make no profit from this.
Warning: Rated Mature for sexual content, language, slash, incest, etc.
Pairings/Characters: Harry Dresden, Thomas Raith, Thomas/Harry
Setting: Post Proven Guilty, sequel to A Beat Before.
Summary: It had been a necessary thing at the time, but it had become more. He hadn't forgotten about that night, even if he should have. It weighed on his mind. He had to have answers. He needed to talk to Thomas...
A/N: This originally was going to be shorter and with more emphasis on teh pr0n, but then Thomas and Harry decided to get all emotional about things. Bah. lol Enjoy! XD
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I fought back my apprehension as I approached Thomas' place on the Gold Coast. I did say that we needed to talk, but as I got closer, everything that I had been doing my best from thinking these past few months comes flooding back to the surface. My face heats up against my will and I hold back a shiver that comes over me.
Damn.
I park the Blue Beetle (though after all the scrapes I had been in it was more like the Green, Red, White and Blue Beetle) and head to the front door, recognizing the doorman from the few times I had been to Thomas' place. He raises a brow, but otherwise says nothing and lets me pass through without incident. I get up the stairs, my nervousness intensifying tenfold as I come up to my brother's door; I knew he was in as I called him before I left my apartment to make sure.
Half of me though wished that he wasn't in so that I didn't have to deal with this. But I knew it had to be done; things couldn't keep going on the way they were. After only a brief moment of hesitation, I knock on the door in three quick successions. He opens the door on the third and l find myself standing there staring at him. It looked as though he had just gotten out of the shower. His hair was wet, but already curling and he was both shoeless and shirtless. We both stood there for a moment in silence before Thomas shakes his head a bit, opening the door wider and gesturing with his head for me to go inside.
I move past my brother and hear him close the door behind him. His place was as spotless as I remembered; or at least the front of his place was. I wasn't sure if the back of the place was still as messy as I remembered. And... I quickly derail that train of thought.
"What did you want to talk about, Harry?" Thomas asked, no trace of 'Toe-moss' in his voice. He walks past me and I wonder if it wasn't my imagination or did I see that he was deliberately avoiding my gaze? It's not like he had to worry about getting sucked into a soulgaze; we had already looked upon each others souls. Both of us knew each other better than almost anyone...
"Do I really have to spell it out?" I say. "After all, you agreed to talk to me, already knowing what it was that we needed to talk about." I see his jaw clench. It had been a long time since that night, but I knew that neither one of us had forgotten about it; things hadn't been quite the same between us since then, not exactly. I wondered if he was disgusted about it, after the fact.
I wondered a lot of things since then that I had tried my best to forget.
His continued silence bothered me, not knowing what it meant. I grab his shoulder. "Talk to me Thomas. I know it's awkward but-" My eyes widen and I let out an involuntary noise as my brother pushes me against his door.
"Shut the hell up, Harry." He growls. And he kisses me. I stand in complete and utter shock for what seemed like an eternity. When my mind starts to unfry, I find myself attempting to kiss him back but he pulls back before I am able to.
"That's why I'm distancing myself from you. You don't really want this; I caused this. I'm a monster, a demon, I know I am. And I don't want you to hate me, so please..." he looks away. "Leave. Just go. Please."
"Thomas-"
"Go!" he yells. He jerks his head towards me and my eyes widen as I take in his. They were completely silver. His demon. He was barely holding himself in check.
I had but a moment to make a decision and I had the feeling that it would change the rest of my life completely. There were two roads in front of me. One was paved, slightly broken in places but essentially whole and smooth and bathed in a soft light. The other was cracked and dark, darkness enveloping it, leading one to wonder where it would end. One road would be much more accepted, if filled with many battles. At the end of that road I saw myself, alive maybe but alone. The other road was darker, a sensual haze surrounding much of it. That road was filled with hardships and pain and passion, but more than anything...I could see myself standing next to another, a shadow wrapping its arms around me tightly.
Both roads were perilous, but the latter was more than likely going to alienate me from people I cared about. Did I want to risk that? Did I want to even think of risking that? But... I gulp against a hard lump in my throat and look back at him. Hadn't I already made my choice that night, all those months ago?
And he needed me.
His loneliness was a palpable thing and I could sense it from where I stood without needing to be told what he was feeling. He had had to fight against the demon inside him for many years now and it was a losing battle. The woman he had loved he could no longer be near because of that love. Then there was that time together and he felt shame for it and...desire. I could read it on his face. It was showing on his face now, against his will. What did he feel for me, other than desire?
Could I even let myself think that, much less ask it? White Court Vampires fed on the energy of humans. The Raith's fed on lust but love, true love, was their bane. It had caused Justine and Thomas to forever be apart. So there was no way I could...
I still quite suddenly. My throat goes dry.
I...
No. I couldn't.
I see Thomas's eyes widen.
I feel my stomach clench, my lower body tightening in desire.
But I did.
Against everything, even though I shouldn't, even though it was the one thing that would also keep him forever from me, I had somehow, sometime, fallen in love with Thomas.
I loved him.
He starts to reach a hand for me, but I push my head back against the door.
"Stop." I say desperately. "Don't touch me."
He flinches as if I had struck him and starts to move away from me. Oh. Oh, he thought that I...after all, he just said...oh damn. I watch him start to move away, frozen, unable to move from my spot, feeling a combination in me like I had rarely felt. I felt afraid, afraid of my feelings, both of their implications and the scary realization that I knew, just knew, that these newborn feelings were already starting to dwarf the love I had for Elaine, my first love and Susan, who I had loved so greatly.
I had fallen in love with my half-brother, a man. A vampire of the White Court. If only I could have kept my feelings hidden, even from myself. Love hurts White Court, literally hurts them. It hurt to see the look on Thomas' face now. I hadn't meant to speak the way I had, but I didn't want him to touch me and get burned.
My longing is a palpable thing and I shiver, trying to keep in check. I wanted him. God, I wanted him. I wanted to touch him, to embrace him, remind him that he wasn't alone in the world, like I thought I had been for so long, but that there was someone else who could understand his pain, take it in and accept him for all he was.
I'm here.
I'm here, Thomas.
And I always will be, so don't...don't turn away from me. Please.
Thomas makes a wounded noise in his throat, turning around and looking at me again. My eyes widen. Had I said those last words out loud?
"Harry?" He asks quietly. "Did you just..." Apparently I had.
I take a step forward, making my decision to walk upon one of the roads. This one may be more filled with darkness, but I'm not alone in it. I'll bear whatever hardships come after, after all, I made the decision to walk down the path of thorns.
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded." I said quietly. "I just didn't want you to get hurt."
I couldn't help myself. If this was the last time I could physically touch him, then I wanted to remember it. Hopefully he wouldn't hit me for hurting him. I look at him, before tilting my head down, letting my intentions be known. He understood immediately and pulls my face down and kisses me hard, tongue pressing forward in my mouth. Someone moans loudly and I am shocked to realize that it was me. I kiss him back desperately, savoring every slide of his lips against mine, trying to remember the taste and the texture. My groin tightens and my need intensifies.
Finally he pulls away and I blink dazedly for a few moments. My eyes happen to glance down at his mouth and what I see snaps me out of my daze in seconds.
His mouth.
It was...fine.
There was no burn, no marking of any kind on it that would indicate his White Court skin being burned because he was being touched by love. Nothing. I stare for a long moment and it takes me several seconds to realize that Thomas was trying to get my attention.
"Harry!"
I jump.
He looked at me, whole but...needy. I shiver. I didn't understand what was going on. I was quite clear in my feelings for him, knew without a doubt that what I felt was love. So when we kissed he should have been hurt by it. Yet...he wasn't. I hate not understanding something, and this was something big. At the same time...I could touch him. I had been afraid that kiss had been the last time I could touch him. But now...
I glance towards the back rooms, then back to Thomas, making my intentions clear on my face. Something in my chest tightens when I see a faint blush suffuse my brother's face. I hold back a smirk of victory with a bit of difficulty. He nods and grabs my hand, deciding to lead the way. Now it was my turn to flush as our hands intertwine and I could feel the warmth of his hand against my skin. It was a intimacy I hadn't had in a very long time and it felt...good. Better than good.
It felt right.
: :: :
We make it to his room, and I get the quickest glimpse of a cluttered but essentially clean room before he decides to make use of the wall again and ravish my mouth with a hunger that makes us both groan.
I let him take the lead as I was in way over my head and had no experience at this kind of thing with another man, other than that other time, and I had good reason to assume that Thomas had much more experience at his disposal; not just that he was seven years older but that he was White Court and they didn't discriminate when it game to age, race or gender. While some may have a slight preference over others, generally it didn't matter when it came to them or when they fed.
I fight back a sudden wave of nervousness, hoping that he doesn't notice. It wasn't that I was afraid that he would try to feed on me, that I wasn't worried about at all. I was more worried with the fact that this was a relatively new situation for me, more so especially since I just learned of my feelings towards him. It was awkward and strange and wonderful and I wasn't sure how to process everything that was happening all at once.
Thomas pulls away suddenly, shaking. Oh crap, had I done something wrong? As I try to think of what I had been doing, Thomas lets out a deep bellow of laughter. My face flushes. Apparently I was so terrible that he was laughing. I know I hadn't been in the game for awhile but-
"I can see everything written on your face, Harry." he says laughter in his voice. He suddenly sobers up and grabs my head, looking deep into my eyes. The sudden intimacy has me breathless. "Don't worry so much. Relax. I don't expect you to compare me to anyone you've ever been with before and I won't compare you to anyone else. Besides," he adds with a smirk. "Didn't we already do this once before?"
"Well that was different," I mumble. "There were extenuating circumstances that-"
He kisses me again, effectively shutting me up. I decide to do what he says and relax. This time was a sudden gift, after all, I mean I shouldn't have been able to touch him like I was, so I should just sit back and enjoy it while I could.
My coat falls to the ground with little notice on my part, while Thomas starts working on the buttons of the western style shirt I wore. It too falls into a puddle by our feet. He glances at me for a moment before moving deeper into his room, kneeling down at his nightstand for something. I take the time to strip the boots off of my feet, cursing a few times as it seems to take forever. I flush again as I hear his chuckle. Glad I could be of such amusement-!
It was silent for a moment and I think both of us truly took in that moment to think about what we were doing and what we were about to do, the consequences of it all. I let it all sink in, thinking about everything once more. Was the decision I was making the right one? ...Maybe not, but I wouldn't let him walk in darkness alone. Not anymore. Not as long as I was around to be there for him.
I walk deeper into the room and look down at him. He looks up at me in the same instant. Heat burns in his gaze, as does understanding and...sadness?
"Thomas?" I ask, coming closer. He stands and looks at me.
"You're losing something you've always wanted." he says quietly. "You've always wanted family. I can't be the brother you wanted, not anymore."
So that was what was wrong with him?
I move in, kissing him deeply.
"You're my family, Thomas. That can't ever change. Whatever else happens between us, there will always be that. Might make things more awkward in certain situations but...you're my brother. You're..." I break off, clenching my jaw before I say anything deeper than that. If I got in too deep, he would know my feelings. And perhaps whatever tenuous thing was keeping me from hurting him would break.
I yelp as he suddenly pushes me down onto the bed. He looms over me, eyes gleaming. Not in that I'm-Hungry-Time-To-Eat way but in a You-Look-Tasty-I'm-Going-To-Have-My-Way-With-You way. Not much difference, other than the whole no vampirism invoved thing. The look in his eyes goes straight to my groin and I grow hard under that look.
His hands go straight for my belt and in an instant its off and tossed to the floor with a thump. Next thing he goes for is the button of my jeans. At this he halts, as if it was the final barrier between us. Whether to go back and put everything that happened as a bad delusion or to continue and take that next final step. I give a small nod. He takes in a deep breath, nodding in return. His hands start to undo my jeans and I take that time to put my hands on his body, to learn the different planes of his body. He hisses when one of my hands runs over one of his nipples.
I do it again, to see what his reaction is, and he hisses again, pushing me down hard against the bed, bucking up against me. Even through our clothes, I could still feel him and the friction between us causes me to moan.
"Stop that." he grunts.
I raise an eyebrow, then grin. Nice to see that I could effect him as easily as he could affect me. I grab one of his nipples, squeezing hard. He growls, literally growls at me, and I suddenly have to fight an extremely hard erection straining against my blue jeans. I gulp. He smiles, smirks!, a wicked smile.
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I let out little huffs of breath, arm over my face, trying not to make too much noise but it wasn't easy. His mouth moves up and down, my cock moving into his mouth over and over. It felt amazing. I shudder as he takes me even deeper into his throat, apparently not having any issue in doing so.
"Thomas," I wheeze. "You've got to stop."
He moves off my cock with a soft pop and looks up at me, hand still around my erection. He raises a brow.
"A problem, Mister Dresden?" he all but purrs.
Gulp. Dear Gods what had I gotten myself into? He grins up at me and my eyes widen, my heart starting to beat faster. It was hard to keep myself from saying those words. They were on the edge of my tongue and longed to leap out.
I start to say something but stop, shaking my head. No. I wouldn't, couldn't, say it. No matter how much I wanted to. I mean...I didn't even know how he felt about me. I knew that he felt lust and wanted me, but...
I pull him up to me and kiss him.
His pants are thrown into a pile on the floor moments later and I groan at the contact of his skin against mine. He gets something from the top of the nightstand and comes back a moment later. I stiffen when I feel his cool hand against my bottom. I make myself try and relax, knowing what was coming next. A finger enters inside and I gasp at the coldness of whatever he had coated his fingers with.
Soon enough another finger moves inside me, stretching. It didn't quite hurt but it certainly felt strange. It took a few long moments to prepare me; after all there had only been the one time and I hadn't been with a man since, or before that for that matter. Soon enough the fingers leave and his cock takes their place, starting to move inside me. I hiss in pain but I also welcome it. The pain let me know that it was just the two of us here, in this moment.
No vampire wiles, no otherworldly thing; just us, skin to skin, breath to breath...brother to brother.
"Are you okay?" he whispers tightly.
I nod, unable to speak in that moment. Emotions were starting to overwhelm me and, as he shifts his body, the pleasure started to build up in me. His hands were like iron vices on my hips as he thrusts harder and harder into me, unable to contain himself any longer.
I let out a cry as one of his hands grabs my cock, working it as he worked inside of my body. The pleasure was too great and I couldn't take it anymore. I come moments later, shouting out my pleasure, my brother's name on my lips as I come harder than I ever had before. He follows moments later, biting his lips so hard that they bleed, ramming into me as he finishes his climax.
We lay there for a long time. I wasn't sure just how long, but after awhile he finally moves out of me. a shock going through my sensitive body as he does so. We were silent but for our labored breaths, which were starting to become steadily stronger and softer.
He lays on his side and I turn towards him, my eyelids starting to droop as my energy leaves me. I wasn't afraid that it was because he was feeding, or had fed, on me; I knew it was just because of all the exertions I had just went through.
I look at his face.
It had been worth it.
"Harry?"
I open my eyes, feeling gradually more sleepy. "Mm?"
"I..." He cuts himself off, glancing away. "It's nothing, don't worry about it. Just go to sleep. Best get some sleep before having to race all over the city for something like usual huh?"
There had been something there, but it took my sleep deprived brain a few minutes to realize just what it was. I glance down at his lips, healed but dried blood-slightly lighter than a human's-still lingered there. There had been something he wanted to say; something so powerful, so deep that he had injured himself to keep from saying it.
I grab his hand, entwining it with my own. I could feel his pulse racing all of a sudden.
"Harry?" he asked quietly.
He had to be scared, the way I had been scared earlier when I realized it. Realized that it'd mean our permanent seperation. But no...it didn't this time. I had proven that when I had kissed him and he still stood there, handsome as ever, and unmarked. There was a chance I could be wrong-it could be a case related thing he wanted to tell me and I was about to make a huge mistake.
...But I didn't think I was.
I wasn't sure of too many things in my life, but this? This important thing? I had never been more sure of anything. I lean in, close enough for a kiss, looking deeply into his eyes. This was the moment, the true final moment. Either take a step back and never look this way again, or put all the chips on the table and let it ride. Did I have what it took to make the decision? Without a doubt.
"I love you, Thomas."
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