[Author's note: I am sorry for abandoning this story for so many years. I know that no one is probably reading this anymore, but... as I looked back on this story and the reviews that it got, I realised that I really did not want to abandon it.

Because my style and ideas have changed a lot the past three years, I am going to re-write the first five chapters and then continue publishing the rest of the story. If everyone can bear with me for that long... I will try not to let you down again.

-Komiyan]

Chapter one: I am always alone

Sena was breathing heavily as he ran through the pouring rain. Sweat mingled with the water and dripped down his face and onto his already wet t-shirt. But Sena noticed none of this. He had been running for hours now, kicking the rock just as he had done during the death march. But as he had been so focused he had lost track of the time and came back to find that the others had gone home already.

Tired, wet and cold as he was, Sena stumbled into the clubhouse. He had been thinking of going home, but a warm shower before he left sounded really, really tempting. He sat down on a bench, and his tired muscles gave a cry of protest. Wincing, Sena decided that he would grant himself the relief of a hot shower before he went home.

He undressed quickly... it was cold inside the clubhouse. As he dropped his clothes on the bench, he noticed another mud-stained uniform lying around. The number was not clearly visible. Sena frowned. Who else would be here at this late hour? He shrugged, deciding that he would find out when he saw the other person in the shower room... there was steam billowing from the partially opened door.

As he stepped into the shower room, clad in but a towel, a waft of a familiar scent caught Sena's attention. It was someone's soap, not strong, but definitely present. But whose...

Someone moved up ahead and Sena was roughly pulled out of his thoughts, only to find out exactly to whom the uniform on the floor had belonged.

"FUCKING MANAGER! HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO- oh, it's only you, fucking shrimp."

"Hi-hiruma-san!" Sena stuttered. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I-" He stopped rambling when Hiruma interrupted him with a dismissive flick of the hand.

"Stop making such a fuss, fucking shrimp. I thought you were that fucking manager." Hiruma said, apparently feeling that this was enough of an explanation for his behaviour.

Sena was too afraid to say anything, so he just nodded, shed his towel and turned on another shower. As soon as the water was hot enough he stepped under the spray. A heavy sigh escaped him when the hot water eased the tension in his muscles. After practice, there was nothing better than this, he decided.

For a while there was silence. Then Sena heard a suppressed gasp, followed by a muttered curse coming from his team captain. He turned around to see what was wrong... and that was the first time he noticed all the bruises and cuts on Hiruma's body.

"Hiruma-kun… where did you get all those bruises?" He asked. 'He can't have gotten those from training with us... no one else has ever looked like that.' he thought, bewildered at the sudden insight. It wasn't often that he learned something about the team captain, after all. The man was a mystery.

Hiruma sighed and leaned heavily on the shower wall. For a moment Sena was afraid that the quarterback would yell at him, but when Hiruma spoke again, his voice was surprisingly soft. "Heh, reminds me of why I don't usually do this." he said with a grimace. "Didn't want all the fuss."

Sena's eyes narrowed. His mind was running at top speed, trying to catch up with the new information it had been given. Hiruma did not want his team-mates caring for him, which was strange, since he was, in his own way, always looking out for them and making sure that everyone was okay. It was only normal to return the favour, in Sena's opinion. However, Hiruma was a mysterious person. No one knew where he came from in the mornings or where he went to after school. No one knew how or when he devised all of his schemes, nor how he found ways to make them work.

With sudden clarity, Sena realised that Hiruma must work doubly, no, even three times as hard as his team-mates. Yet he never skipped training and he was always energetic. Living like that... it must take a great toll on his health...

"I know what you're thinking." Hiruma's voice interrupted Sena's chain of thoughts. "You were thinking that I must be overexerting myself." The look on Sena's face told him enough... the boy looked downright guilty. Hiruma sighed. "Well, I am not. And besides... it would be none of your business even if I did, fucking shrimp."

Sena shot Hiruma a worried look. "But if you are not overexerting yourself, then you must be fighting." he ventured, feeling awfully brave for a moment for even suggesting this. Then Hiruma shot him a demonic glare and before Sena knew it, he was cowering in a corner.

"I have my reasons for the things that I do" The quarterback growled. "It would be wise not to enquire after them too much, if you value your life."

Sena frowned. "Why not?" He said, genuinely puzzled. "We are all part of the same team. We are supposed to wonder about such things."

"Oh please, don't give me that." Hiruma scoffed. "There is no way that you care. Stop pretending to care, fucking shrimp. Go home already."

"I won't go until you tell me." Sena said quietly, but resolutely.

Silence filled the room, and Sena realised that that was the most cheeky thing he had ever said to the team captain and that he would surely be killed for it. He was about to start apologising profusely when he heard movement and sensed something heading for the back of his head at top speed. He moved out of the way as quick as lightning; Hiruma's soap bottle smashed to pieces against the wall besides Sena's head.

Sena yelped indignantly when he saw the team captain heading straight for him. Before he knew what was happening, Hiruma had pushed him to the wall and leaned in close to Sena's face with his own. "Listen up, fucking shrimp." he said in a low, threatening voice. "Don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong... or it might get cut off." He cocked his head to the side. "Did I make myself clear?"

Sena yelped and pressed his back firmer against the wall, trying to escape Hiruma's furious glare. But he was not going to back down on this. Even though it might not be appreciated, Deimon's players cared for their team captain and the man was not going to get away with hiding injuries of this degree. Sena swallowed audibly and met Hiruma's glare head on.

Slowly, deliberately, he shook his head. "I can drop it for now." He said. "but I will keep asking until you answer me."

Hiruma's eyes narrowed and for a moment Sena feared that the other might hurt him. Hiruma moved one hand back, suddenly, as if to hit the running-back across the face. Sena closed his eyes and braced himself for the blow...

Which didn't come.

Footsteps moved away from him and he heard the door to the shower room slam shut hard. He opened his eyes, to find that Hiruma had gone. But when he rushed back into the dressing room, the team captain had already disappeared.

Sena got dressed hastily and ran out to the school yard, but that was also empty. With sagging shoulders, Sena turned back to the club house to lock the place up for the night. He had really done it now. He didn't know what had possessed him to go against Hiruma's commands like that... suddenly, he had felt that it wasn't right that Hiruma tried to do everything on his own.

Sena clenched his hand into a fist and stared at his knuckles as they turned white. A good team-mate never let his comrades get this beat up. He vowed to himself that he would look out for Hiruma from now on... as the man himself seemed incapable of doing so. With this resolution in his mind, Sena felt a little better. Come what may, he would keep an eye on the devilbats' quarterback. After all... they were all friends, weren't they?

On the roof on the club house, Hiruma watched as Sena locked up and left, never noticing that his team captain was observing him. When Sena had disappeared around the corner, Hiruma lay back on the wet roof, not caring that his clothes were getting soaked. He stared up into the grey sky, at the clouds that were chasing each other through the sky, heavy with rain and hail.

He was once again reminded that he needed to be careful in guarding his secrets. He could not let anyone find out what was going on with him, or the balance of the team would be upset. With a sigh he got up and jumped off the roof.

This was why he was always alone.

-to be continued-