Things to Make Sonic (And Why You Shouldn't)
Written By: The Bubbles
Summary- Rose finds the Doctor's box of sonicafied items. Just a little something born of a conversation I had with Captain Wolfpaw in Minnesota last summer. Post-Boomtown, Pre Badwolf.
A/N- This story was co-written by my friend Captain Wolfpaw. But we came up with the idea in June and I only got around to writhing it two days ago. So I honestly have no idea what from the original story idea is hers and what is mine.
Disclaimer- The Bubbles doesn't own anything of the Doctor Who nature, though she does own 3&1/2 sporks. They're not sonic, though.
A/N- Yeah, I reposted ch 1. Turns out I had a slight typo or two to fix.
"Doctor!"
Rose pulled the rather large box into the main area of the TARDIS. The Doctor wandered over.
"What have you got there, Rose?" he asked curiously.
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
"Well, lets have a look, shall we?"
They both examined the box.
"A-ha!" He said after several seconds. "This is my sonic box!"
Rose backed up a bit. She'd had a bit of experience with the Doctor's so-called 'improvements' to random items, usually by making them sonic.
"Doctor, why in the world did you make a box sonic?"
"Don't be silly, Rose, the box isn't sonic. Its just an ordinary box." She gave a sigh of relief. "It's the stuff in the box that's sonic."
Rose stared. "This is where you keep all your sonic stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Even… the Sonic Washer/Dryer?"
Jack, previously unnoticed in another part of the room, joined them.
"You made a washer/dryer sonic? Why in the world did you make a washer/dryer sonic?"
"Boredom?" The Doctor shrugged. "The laundry took too long to do? I don't know, its just one of those things."
"Well what happened to the washer/dryer?"
"We used it for a little while," Rose explained.
"Yeah, but after it tried to take over the galaxy…"
"Twice…" Rose added.
"We had to destroy it."
"It tried to take over the galaxy?" Jack asked, bewildered. "How'd it do that?"
"Opened a vortex in the back of people's dryers and stole all their socks."
"O…k… So what else have you got in that box?"
"Well… let's have a look!"
Rose opened the box and the Doctor reached in.
"Oh, Fantastic!" he said happily. "Lookie what I've got!" He pulled out what looked like a glowing blue hammer. "Fantastic!"
"It's a hammer," Jack stated simply, taking home the prize for statement of the obvious.
"Its not just any hammer, Jack, its the very first thing I ever made sonic." He grinned. "Oh, this takes me back. Or forward. I was just a little boy at the time. I had barely learned to talk."
"There was a time when you couldn't talk?" Rose asked innocently.
"Haha, very funny. Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday," he said happily. "And you know, it may well have been, I'm not sure where my childhood falls on the universe's timeline."
(Wavy flashback effects)
The young Doctor grabbed a nail and began hammering it into the wall. He was very happy. He had swiped the hammer from his father's toolbox, and now he was working on this week's future career: carpenter. That's what he thought anyway. Mostly, he was just knocking holes in the wall. He jumped when he heard his mother call up to him.
"Son! Did you take the hammer out of the toolbox?"
"Yes!"
"Are you using it to knock holes in the wall?"
"No way, of course not!"
"Then why do you need it?"
"Uhh…"He fell silent as he thought. Suddenly his already-brilliant mind hit on a brilliant idea. "I'm making it sonic as a present for Dad!"
"Ah. I see. So if I come up there, I won't find a dozen holes in the wall?"
"No," he called, then added, "But I'd rather you didn't come up, if its all the same to you."
"And why not?"
He thought about it, and his brilliant four-year-old mind (Gallifreyan equivalent of four, anyway) once again came up with a plan. He quickly stripped down to his knickers.
"Because I'm naked!"
There was a startled silence, then, "Ok. I'll stay down here."
(End flashback)
"Dad loved the hammer. He gave it back to me right before we left to fight in the Time War. I- " He stopped when he realized that they were laughing at him.
"You mind not laughing at me?" he asked, a bit hurt. "My dad loved that hammer."
"I'm sorry, Doctor," Rose choked out, "But really, naked? Your mum changed your diapers, why would she have a problem seeing you naked?"
They started laughing again.
"Oi, stop it!"
"Well, lets see what else is in here then." Rose reached into the box. "Oh, its… a joy buzzer?"
"I remember that one," Jack said, taking it from her. "You nearly killed me with that one."
"I did not."
"Yeah ya did!"
"When was this?" Rose asked.
"Ah…" the Doctor paused as he thought back. "It was when we were dropping off Margerate at the hatchery on Raxacoricofallapatorius."
"While you were at the market doing girly things, The Doctor and I were here doing manly things like effecting repairs on the TARDIS."
"No we weren't, Jack, don't tell her that," the Doctor corrected. "I was sonic-afying the joy buzzer Rickey gave me, and you were looking at girly magazines."
"I wasn't!"
"Yeah you were."
"Don't listen to him Rose, I wasn't."
The Doctor leaned over to Rose and whispered, "He was."
(Flashback)
The Doctor looked up from sonicafying his joy buzzer. Jack was busy looking at the centerpiece of some magazine.
"Oh, come on Jack, how can you read that?"
"Who said I'm reading it?"
"That's disgusting."
"Don't judge me Doctor. Besides, Ms. Raxacoricofallapatorius is excellent eyecandy. She's built like-"
"The result of an unholy marriage between alien frog and mutant bug?"
"For a Raxacoricofallapatorian, she's very attractive."
"That a fact?"
The Doctor attached the sonic joy buzzer to his hand and hid it behind his back. He walked over to Jack.
"Captain, I want to congratulate you. I've been travelling through time and space for 900 years, and you have the most flexible attractions I've ever seen." He stuck out his hand. Jack looked at him curiously, then accepted.
"Gaaaaaaaaah!" Jack let go of the Doctor's hand as 9,012 volts of electricity surged through his body. "What in the name of- What was that?"
"Ha- ha!" He held up the hand with the joy buzzer in it. "Gotcha good with that one!"
"You little-!" He grabbed the buzzer from the Doctor and attached it to his own hand. "You could have killed me. Lets see how you like it." He grabbed the Doctor's hand, and was once again electrocuted. "How did-?"
"How many times do I have to tell you, Jack, I'm brilliant?"
(End flashback)
"Well that was interesting," Rose said. She reached into the box again. "A spork? What does the sonic spork do?"
"It glows."
"Really?" She pushed the button on the handle. The sonic spork glowed sonic blue. "Huh, would you look at that?"
"My turn!" Jack exclaimed happily. He reached in. "O- ho! What have we here? It's a blender..! And its sonic..!" He turned to the Doctor. "Why?"
"He made it as a present for my mum. Sort of a 'sorry I took your kid away for a year without calling or anything and then nearly killed her when I was saving the planet, here, have a blender, but not just any blender, its sonic.'"
"So what happened?"
"She threw it at his head."
"So she didn't like it?"
(Flashback)
Rose stared in surprise as the door opened and the Doctor walked in. He had his hands behind his back and was looking rather sheepish.
"I thought you didn't want tea?"
"Not here for tea. Just wanted to give your mom a present. Sort of a 'sorry' so we can start things over on the right foot."
"Oh. I see. So what is it?"
"You'll see. Oi!" he called into the kitchen. "Jackie! Come in here; I brought you a present!"
"Ooooh, a present, really?" Jackie took it from him happily. "What is it?"
"Open it. Then I won't have to tell you."
"Oh, all right." She took it from him and tore open the box. "Oh, its… a blender. It's a glowing blue… blender…How nice…"
"Doctor, why in the world did you give my mother a blender as a gift?"
"Never mind that, why is it blue… and glowing?"
"Because its sonic," the Doctor answered, unable to contain his excitement. "Isn't that neat?"
"Yeah, its… What does it do?"
"Well, it blends… and mixes… and frappes, that's always fun, and it crushes, and, and…and glows!, can't forget that."
"Well, why don't I make us all smoothies then… with my new…sonic… blender?"
"Banana smoothies? Please say they'll be banana smoothies."
"Well, I guess. Is it terribly important?"
"Yeah, terribly important."
Rose waited till her mother was in the kitchen before giving the Doctor a look.
"Why is it so terribly important that it be a banana smoothie?"
"Banana's are a great source of potassium."
They sat in silence for several minutes before a scream emerged from the kitchen. They both darted into the kitchen to find Jackie staring open-mouthed at the blender, banana smoothie plastered all over her face, the sink, the cabinets, the walls, the floors, and a leprechaun sitting annoyed in the corner. (1) He stared for several seconds before he could not contain the laughter bubbling up inside of him.
Two minutes later, he was standing outside the apartment with a bewildered look on his face. Suddenly the door opened again. He turned around, expecting an apology. Instead, he got a blender that narrowly missed his head.
(End flashback)
"Doctor, let me ask you a question," Jack said as the flashback ended. "Does everything you, uh, sonicafy turn out so dangerous?"
"Not everything," he replied. "The gerbils were… no, scratch that, they tried to take over New Zealand in the year 4130."
"You're joking," Rose said in disbelief.
"No, they really did try to take over New Zealand," the Doctor answered in
"You made sonic gerbils?" Jack cut in.
"Yep. Learned my lesson with them, though."
"What, don't genetically alter the DNA of gerbils to make them even more destructive than they already are?"(2)
"No, never drop into the middle of New Zealand and start shouting 'The gerbils are coming."
"Ok, lets see what's next!" Rose said loudly, hoping to distract them. The Doctor batted her hand away from the box.
"Its my turn, Rose. You can wait."
"All right, all right. Ya big baby."
(End Chapter)
I have an entire list of things to make sonic, but I am always open to suggestions.
The leprechaun will be a recurring factor in all of my Doctor Who fanfics.
I've somehow gotten it into my head that Jack has a phobia about gerbils.