Summer
He turned onto his back. Then onto his right. He even tried lying on his stomach like when he got a stomach ache. Nothing seemed to work though. The fire mage was still unable to fall asleep.
"Natsu! Could you stop moving? I'm trying to sleep over here, but with your constant shuffling, I doubt I'll be able to do so anytime soon." Lucy complained sleepily from beside him. Though, she didn't even bother to look at him. No, she just let her back stay facing him.
"Sorry, Luce…"
"What's up with that anyway? Usually, you're out like a light the second your head touches my pillow. What's wrong?" She sounded worried now. Crap, he thought, I didn't wanna concern her.
"It's nothing, really. Just haven't done much today I guess."
"Now that you mention it, you only started one fight at the guild and didn't eat all that much either..." She turned to face him now and could clearly see that there was something he didn't tell her. "You know, you can talk to me, right?"
"Yeah, I know. But it's okay. Just go to sleep." He told his girlfriend with his usual almost-impossibly-wide grin. Except that it didn't reach his eyes. And Lucy noticed that too. But she didn't want to pry, since Natsu would bring it up himself when he was ready to talk about it.
Oh, yes, you read right. The Salamander, Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia of Fairy Tail were going out for over half a year now... Okay, it's been 8 months and 19 days, not that he's been counting.
Though, Natsu never would've thought that their relationship relied so much on the weather conditions…
It had been a freezing cold day in February, which isn't to say that he noticed anything about the change of temperature throughout the year. But the fiery rosette knew that it must've been pretty chilly if the snow in Magnolia actually stayed on the ground instead of melting right away. Believe it or not, there was some common sense somewhere in his – as Gray called it ever so often – 'ash for brains' and he even knew how to use it… sometimes…
He had wandered the streets of his hometown with the flowery name, still deciding on where to go, as the other guild members had been boring that day. The Popsicle had been off on a mission with Juvia, Erza had taken on an S-class mission on her own (not that he would've bothered her even if she had been there) and the other guys worth a fight in the guild hadn't been in the mood. Heck, even Happy was accompanying Wendy and (mostly) Charle on a mission! He'd be gone for at least two more days since the trip there took quite some time. Natsu didn't dare thinking of the many hours of torture in the -urgh- train. Not to mention that Mirajane had looked kind of weird when he asked where Lucy was. And, mind you, it wasn't the good – the Lucy – kind of weird. It had been sort of creepy, to be honest. Nevertheless, Mira had told him that Lucy had gone home several hours ago, saying she didn't want to walk there in the dark.
Before he'd known it, the dragon slayer had found himself in front of her apartment in Strawberry Street. Not really paying any mind to the fact that it had been around midnight, he had made a leap for her window and opened it soundlessly before climbing through without a second's hesitation. What had awaited him inside hadn't been that much of a surprise. He had often decided to visit his best (human) friend when she was already asleep, although usually she wouldn't shiver and whimper in her slumber.
"N-N-Natsu…" He heard her choke out and quickly closed the window as the cold night air didn't help her shivering. He hadn't been sure whether or not Lucy had been awake then. Normally when it was this chilly he would spend the whole evening at her apartment anyway, playing her personal heater, using his always-higher-than-humanly-normal body temperature to warm up her room and sometimes even her bed. He never minded. No, he enjoyed the time they spent together. It may be that she only looked for warmth but he always took the chance to be close to her. During those nights it felt like a dream coming true, but Natsu knew that it was hopeless.
There was no way that somebody like her, a pretty, smart and funny goddess, would like a destructive, loud guy with pink hair. (Believe it or not, his hair color has caused him a lot of frustration in his short life, but he was still reluctant to just dye it a normal – or at least less girly – color. The reason being, that Lucy had once told him how his hair color made it practically impossible to ever lose him, because there was only one pink-haired trouble-maker. Sometimes he felt like she actually liked it the way it was.)
As I stated before, he was able to think logically. He just preferred playing the idiot, it being easier and allowing him to deny – or even seem completely oblivious to – any and all feelings he knew he had developed for his best friend somewhere some time ago. Pretending to possess the romantic knowledge of a 5 year old to everyone was far more comfortable for him than having to answer all their prying questions once they found out that he did indeed have such feelings for a girl. Especially if it was Lucy.
Not being able to bear hearing her constant shivers any longer, he silently strode over to the bed, kicking off his sandals on the way before slightly lifting her covers to crawl over to her, but not too much so she wouldn't get any colder still. Once she noticed his warm body, she took a hold of his torso, preventing him from doing much except put his arms around her shoulders in return and sharing his body heat. The way she snuggled into his chest made him smile softly, unlike anything anyone in the guild had ever seen.
After a few minutes, the violent shivers running through her body stopped and she relaxed into his hold, but didn't let go of him. Natsu didn't have any other chance – yeah, right, like he wanted to do anything else – but to stay there with her and soon he felt himself fall asleep with her in his arms.
…
It had been noisy. In fact, it had been too noisy to stay asleep. Apparently, sometimes having oversensitive ears had its downsides. (Although he was pretty sure that this much noise would be able to wake up the dead… with "normal" ears as well.)
Natsu had listened intently to find out what had ripped him out of his wonderful dream, where Lucy let him sleep in her bed with her and didn't freak out when he had hugged her. Along the way, his other senses caught up with him as well. So now he had been able to feel a temporary pressure on his chest, only to have it gone the second he noticed it. His arms were apparently wrapped around something warm, but 'it' seemed to try to get away from him, now even tugging at his arms with soft fingers.
'Wait a sec…'
Fluttering his eyes open, and getting momentarily blinded by the sunlight streaming in through the window next to the bed, he had taken in his surroundings, only to find out that he had been in Lucy's apartment or more precisely, in her bed.
But what was that he had been holding- Oh crap!
Yup, lying next to him – well, more like struggling to get up and away – was his favorite blonde and she didn't seem too pleased with the situation.
"Lucy, what-" Natsu asked, or tried to ask, groggily, still being half asleep and wanting to scratch the 'half' for another hour or two. A second later, he knew what had woken him up.
"Natsu! Let go of me!" She screamed loud enough to get him to cover his ears and, while doing so, let go of her. Uh-huh, exceptional good hearing wasn't always as handy as it's made out to be. Especially, if you had friends as noisy as Lucy. But she didn't stop screaming there. No, she continued her tirade as soon as he let her go. "What in the world do you think you're doing here and why are you in my bed?" He was awake now. Yeah, it's a miracle he can still hear.
"Listen, it's not-"
"Get the hell out of my bed!" The dragon slayer got up and scrambled out of her reach before she decided that he wasn't fast enough and tried to kick him out again. You see, it kinda hurt, now that she got used to the frequent running and fighting and whatnot. She really got a lot stronger since she joined the guild all that time ago.
"Okay, okay… Sheesh… See, I'm not in your bed anymore. Now would you let me finish before you start yelling at me again. I'm not sure how much more noise I can handle without deafening…" She seemed to calm down a little when he left her personal bubble. Yet it took her another deep breath to be able to speak in a normal volume again.
"Okay, I'm all ears." That was all she stated, crossing her thin arms in front of her chest and looking at him expectantly. His ears were really grateful that she took her time for calming down as well. Not wanting to awaken her wrath again, he got to explaining.
"Last night, I was kinda bored so I stopped by. But when I came in through the window" She couldn't help but throw the next best thing at him at his comment, but he continued as if nothing happened after letting out a small cry of pain, when said book hit him on the side of the head. "Well, I saw you there in your bed, being all shivery from the cold, and I wanted to help you. After all you're my best friend, right? And this was the best I could think of, y'know?" Lucy had to admit, if reluctantly, that it was actually kind of cute of him to want to warm her up, but some little devil on her shoulder continued to whisper into her ear that he could've done so without being all touchy-feely. Not that Natsu knew what that even meant.
But then again, it had been so comfortably warm with him holding her close and all… He had been so gentle; so warm and lovi-… No! She was not going to think that sentence through. After all, he did that for his 'best friend'. Because that was all they were. He was her friend. She was his friend. Just like all their other guild mates were their friends. That's all!
"Oh, just get in here again!" The celestial mage had begun to shiver again and didn't want to get up just yet, as the sun was just rising. She didn't even know why she woke up in the first place. And she knew that his company could be pleasant, especially in winter. After all, they were friends. And friends helped each other in times of need.
"You mean I can stay…?" Natsu was a bit dumbstruck, expecting her to throw him out the window like she always did in the morning, when he had played heater. He never really got what he did wrong though… Apparently he hadn't made that mistake, whatever it may be, this time. Deciding to figure out why it came to this predicament later, he quickly slipped under the blankets again, before Lucy changed her mind. He would do anything if it meant he could stay here with her longer, where her delicious scent filled his nose. Of course, being allowed to even stay in her bed was like a dream coming true.
"You're weird, Luce." And he wasn't even that far off. She was just about to question herself for just what reason she had asked him to stay with her. After all, it had been but a few minutes since she had screamed at him to get the hell out of her bed. But being Lucy, she couldn't let him go with him calling her weird. AGAIN.
"Stop calling me weird! At least I'm not some mentally underdeveloped, pink haired jerk, who always destroys everything he touches but can't handle a train ride or any other form of transportation!" Okay, so maybe she was venting her frustration a little and just maybe it wasn't all directed at him, but the fact that he called her weird was just so unnerving… because she'd rather he called her beautiful or smart or even nice would be better. But she had already given up on that, since it was Natsu, she was talking about. And Natsu was anything but a ladies man.
"I don't get you. Why do you always get so angry when I call you weird?" He was truly curious. I mean, he didn't know what 'mentally underdeveloped' meant, but he got the feeling it wasn't a compliment.
Well, he was the reason for her anger… mostly. Some part of it was actually to be directed towards Mira and Gray for teasing her about them and as a result, make weird daydreams torment her every few minutes. Daydreams about what it would be like if he'd- NO! Stop thinking about this! Concentrate! If you don't blow up on him soon he'll ask what's wrong and you know you can't lie to him!
"Because, Natsu, it isn't very charming if you constantly call a girl what you say when you don't find your second sock!"
"But I don't wear socks. I thought you knew that wearing sandals and socks was some kind of 'fushohn foo pah' or whatever that's called." Okay, I know I said he had some common sense, but that doesn't mean he isn't an idiot.
"'Fashion Faux Pas', Natsu… Stop trying to change the subject! The thing is I just don't like it, okay?"
"Alright... But I still don't get why you get upset over that." Just as she had been lifting her arm to punch him unconscious for starting this again, he had caught her wrist in his hand and had kept it there. There hadn't been much else to do except listen to him trying to explain himself. "I mean, I think being 'weird' isn't that bad. You just aren't like the others. You're a celestial wizard, yet you always fight beside your spirits. You look so fragile and like a little princess, but you can get as scary as Erza. Yeah, just like that! But a minute later you still smile and laugh at me and my stupid jokes. Besides, I kinda… like your kind of 'weird'…" The last part was mumbled so quietly, that Lucy wasn't all that sure if she heard right. So she ignored it as best as she could… even if her face became a pretty shade of red either way.
"Natsu… And how the hell did you think that was 'weird'?" A moment of silence had passed, which he used to sort through his memory of their first official mission together.
"… Happy told me."
"You really should stop trusting that stupid cat so much…" She had deadpanned, a little annoyed. But still, she couldn't help the growing smile on her lips and she had quickly looked away to hide it and the bright pink blush on her cheeks, which she hadn't been sure if he could see. Better safe than sorry, right? You never knew what this dragon slayer surprised you with next.
Before Natsu could've protested that Happy was also his best friend, Lucy had returned to her previous position with her head against his chest and had closed her eyes again, effectively shutting him up out of surprise. "I'm going to sleep some more."
A few minutes had passed, before Natsu could finally relax and had closed his eyes as well, but not without whispering "… Sweet dreams, Luce. I love you." He had been pretty sure that she had already fallen asleep again. Except that she hadn't. And to make it even better she had answered, if a bit shell shocked, with a kiss to his cheek, which he took as an 'I love you too'. And for once, he got something right on the first try…
The time after that felt like pure heaven to Natsu. He didn't have to suppress the urge to be with Lucy any longer and he could hug and kiss and cuddle her as much as he wanted… Well, if she was in the mood. But that was okay, because he was just glad that she let him do it once in a while, when they were alone. She wasn't a fan of PDA, but he didn't see the problem of putting an arm around her waist or shoulders when he was sitting next to her in the guild. After all, they were all their family and they knew either way, since Mira had seen them enter the guild hand in hand that day and had happily declared that it finally happened, while Cana went around getting her cash from almost everyone in the room. Only to spend the lot of it on booze again. Well, that's Cana for ya.
Mira wanted to make them kiss though 'as proof that they didn't just try to fool them'. It was pretty obvious she just wanted to fan girl about them. Anyway, since almost the entire guild urged them to just do it, Natsu decided to oblige for once.
He grabbed her face gently, tilting it slightly upwards and captured her lips right there in the middle of the guild hall. She kissed him back almost immediately, as if she had been waiting for him to do it. You can imagine they didn't let go of each other for another ten minutes or so. (Some guild members were starting to get worried…)
Well, the embarrassment caused by their friends that day was kinda the reason for Lucy's dislike of PDA. Not to mention Loke randomly popping up and crying out in despair as he witnessed with his own eyes that his owner was taken, by the oblivious 'dragon boy' when she could have had him instead, none the less. Of course the celestial spirit was utterly ignored as always, only Natsu had shot back a 'Serves you right, kitty boy'.
The fire dragon slayer always especially liked the evenings. It's not what you think. Geez, get your minds out of the gutter. I meant to say that Lucy didn't freak out anymore if he asked to stay with her, as she knew he wouldn't do anything, as well as the fact that technically she kind of wanted him to stay with her. Although he kind of missed her funny expressions when she screamed at him to get lost. (Other newly discovered expressions made up for it though…)
So sometimes the fire mage went home with her after an eventful day at the guild or he visited her later, still not kicking his habit of entering through the window. She would write her novel or a letter to her deceased mother while Natsu lounged on her comfy bed or they would talk until they were too tired to do so any longer, sometimes sharing a kiss or two or just forgetting the talking part altogether, before climbing under the covers and cuddling until morning came. He still acted as her personal heater, as her heating system always broke down when the temperature fell below 25°F, but he was kind of thankful for the defect mechanism.
Natsu loved sleeping with his girlfriend in his arms. She was so soft and her sleeping face was so cute; he could spend hours just watching her snooze away, if he wasn't always so damned tired after fighting Gray at least five times a day and causing as much ruckus in the guild as possible without getting caught by Erza. So more often than not he only had a few minutes of this sight before his eye lids teamed up against him, feeling heavy and heavier with every passing second. Although the fact that the last thing he saw before falling asleep, as well as waking up to Lucy, kind of made up for it. She even invaded his dreams with very pleasant pictures of them having a picnic on some grassy hill… with lots of fire food.
All in all, though, things didn't change much between them. They still went on missions together (with Happy), sometimes with Gray and Erza. Occasionally even Wendy and Charle would accompany them. And Happy still teased, well tried to tease them with his "He liiiiiikes you…" and a roll of his tongue. The couple just shrugged at him or confirmed it most of the times.
Solo missions were a rarity for the two, but it became necessary once in a while to get away from the other. Sure, they loved each other, but they really appreciated each other more when they'd been apart for a few days or so. Almost every time Natsu insisted that he went since he didn't want to endanger her safety when he wasn't even close. If she needed the money he made sure that at least someone accompanied her, like Erza or Levy with Team Shadow Gear. But never Gray…
The nights were often very lonely though and Natsu always missed having his Lucy in his arms, when he lay on the cold floor of the forest or the now barely used hammock in his house and thought about her. Was she okay? What did she do right now? Did she miss him just as much as he did? Did she have the same problem when trying to sleep…? That she waited for him to join her under the covers of her bed only to remember that he wasn't coming?
He cherished the time directly after the mission all the more when the blond girl seemed to kiss him with that much more passion, telling him without the need of words that she did.
At some point he thought about bringing something with him, so that he had something of her by his side. That's the (unknown) reason that he never left Magnolia without the present he got for Christmas from her, a magical snow- I mean, fire globe. (Technically, it was just an ordinary snow globe but the snowflakes were red, orange and yellow, making it look like fire… At least that's what he said, because he wouldn't take something that was anyhow related to the ice princess with him…) There was a cube inside of it with photos of the both of them when they were bored one day and found nothing better to do than using one of those photo booths just for the heck of it.
Lucy had never let him see the pictures, so it was a surprise until the end. He (mentally) laughed his ass off every single time he looked at them making funny faces and trying to push each other out of the focus of the camera. The fourth and last picture was his favorite though. It was when she had just stopped laughing, took his face into her soft hands to make him turn his head towards her and kissed him right when the last shot was taken.
Natsu always smiled at the memory. But it only worked for so long before he craved to have her in his arms again.
They also still managed to get angry at each other. Well, more like Lucy got angry at him when he overdid it with his pranks or his fights with Gray and the other males in the guild. It never lasted long, sometimes ending in Natsu whining and pouting a little when she forbid him from coming to visit her for a few days, which wouldn't work either way because although she got angry at him she couldn't stay that way. So it was only about a day – tops – before she sought out his company.
This continued well into springtime and it wasn't until when the first wave of summer hit Magnolia, that things started to change.
It was May, nearing June, when Lucy decided that having him hold her with his unnatural body temperature in her already overheated room and even with the open window, isn't going to let her sleep at all. So she asked him to 'loosen up'. Natsu said it was okay, not wanting her to be uncomfortable, so he brought somewhat of a distance between them.
She didn't seem to pull her hand out of his grasp when he decided that he needed something to hold onto. He took it that he was allowed to do that much without preventing her from getting her beauty sleep. When he bid her goodnight, she chose to squeeze his hand instead of a verbal reply.
Unfortunately, the heat didn't seem to stop rising.
Not too many days passed until the blond told him to take his arm off of her waist while they were at the guild. She had just been talking to Levy about some new book or something, so he just held her a little, enjoying the feel of her in his arms as he was forbidden to cuddle her at night since that last time. But suddenly she turned to him and asked him to please let go of her. Natsu apologized with a murmur, but a grin overtook his face when she kissed his cheek for understanding.
But the occasional question turned into something she had to remind him of almost every day until he didn't dare touch her without her initiating it. The dragon slayer knew what this meant and what it could lead to. So he tried to stop the process.
He asked her out for dates (after getting it explained from Gray – and noticing that they had went on several before, without him realizing) and he even paid for their meals. He tried being more romantic by giving her flowers. (He even plucked them himself… She didn't seem to mind one or two weeds that he either hadn't noticed or thought that they were flowers as well.) He told her every single day that he loved her. On the now rare occasion that they kissed he made sure to put in as much of his feelings as possible. (Not that he didn't already do that, but… well let's say that they ended up on the floor more than one time… And NO, not for that!) Of course, he did all this when they were alone. After all, she didn't like having many onlookers in her private life.
But it didn't work. Two more weeks and she didn't hug him, kiss him or even let him hold her hand anymore. All because 'it was too hot'. He couldn't hear it anymore, so he stopped trying.
It felt like they stopped dating.
Natsu didn't understand anything anymore. He thought Lucy loved him. And now she didn't even let him touch her. He wished he could just hold her hand or brush some of her golden locks behind her ear or just maybe hug her once in a while. But he didn't want her to have to remind him yet again.
It hurt by now to hear her say it.
His birthday was spent with everyone at the guild. They threw a huge party for him and they had loads of fun…
Well, actually, nobody knew if it even was his birthday. It could have been in the middle of winter for all he knew, but given his name Gramps decided that they should celebrate on the 23rd of June when he entered the guild. Igneel didn't know that much about human traditions he guessed, so of course he couldn't have told his son.
He himself had forgotten about it though. So when he entered the guild building in the morning with Lucy, and saw the huge banner labeled 'HAPPY (MAYBE) BIRTHDAY, NATSU!' (which all their friends had been shouting [including some variations near the end] at that same moment) he had been a little surprised.
Apparently he wasn't the only one, though.
No one had been able to talk too Lucy about it because the two of them had been on a two week long mission and just got back the day before.
To say she was pissed would be an understatement.
Of course, he told her that it was no problem, because there had been no way of her knowing since he had never told her about it either. But that didn't calm her down in the least.
Yep, this developed into one of their more long-lasting fights. She didn't speak to him for almost an entire week and when she finally decided that he deserved to at least be talked to again, even though he hadn't been forgiven yet (that took another week's worth of him apologizing to her every time they came across a subject even remotely similar), he had told her everything he could think of about himself so there would never again be any reason for a fight like this. (It took a while, but at the end of the night, she kissed his cheek, muttering something about how stupid he was.)
When her birthday rolled around the corner, he had gotten her a silver heart necklace with a flame engraving on the front and 'NxL' on the backside, just deep enough to feel it with your thumb. Lucy had been awestruck at the beauty of the accessory and had promptly given him a kiss. The last kiss for a long while…
She only wore it once.
And then came that day.
July 7th.
The day had started out relatively normal, except the fact that he wasn't allowed to sleep over at Lucy's anymore since the birthday-incident. Not even on her couch. (Sure, it wasn't her bed but he hadn't been able to cuddle with her for over a month now so he didn't want to risk angering her even more. And her couch still smelled like her, unlike his moldy old hammock, so that would've been a much better choice, even if he got back pain from sleeping there…) Anyway, he spent the better part of the day in the guild, waiting for his girlfriend to arrive, but she never showed up. That worried him.
When he stopped by her apartment in the afternoon, he found her lying on her bed with her face buried in one of her fluffy pink pillows. He carefully strode over not trying to be too loud in case she was asleep but also not too quiet so as not to startle her if she was still awake.
"Hey Luce… you awake?" He asked her once he stood by her side, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. She didn't seem to react in any way, so he sat down on the floor so his face was lined up with hers. "C'mon, I can tell that you aren't sleeping…" She still didn't say anything but her shoulders started to tremble and her sobbing eventually shook her entire frame. Natsu didn't know what to do so he just sat there next to her, gently stroking her back in an attempt to calm her down.
"Just leave me alone, Natsu…" He could barely understand what she tried to say, her voice muffled by the fabric against which she was still pressing her face.
"Why…? Lucy, I know that today is that day and I know what's making you this upset but I promise you. I won't leave you… You won't be alone anymore…" He tried to console her gently, having remembered that it was the anniversary of her beloved mother's death, which also meant that it was also the day that Igneel disappeared. That kind of thoughts didn't help him though in this situation so he shoved them into the deepest part of his mind, trying to focus on the still sobbing blonde in front of him.
"And what if I want you to leave me?! If I just want to be alone?" She finally showed him her pretty face, even if at that moment her eyes were red and puffy from crying and her hair was a mess. To Natsu, she would always be the most beautiful and weird girl he knew.
But what she just said or rather yelled at him, struck a nerve. She… didn't want to see him? But what had he done to her? He respected her wish to keep a certain distance between her, but never stopped spending time with her. He still told her he loved her in the most romantic moments you could create without touching one another. Why-?
His thoughts were interrupted by her voice, continuing to scream at him.
"Natsu, for the love of Mavis and all that's good in Earthland, why can't you just do what I tell you? Leave. Me. Alone!" So he did. He left the way he came (through her window), but not without looking at her one last time, partly to let her know that she had crossed a line, but the bigger part was the one that didn't seem willing to let her alone in that state.
They made up two days later. Two days of not seeing or hearing from the other whatsoever. Two days of absolute heartbreak for Natsu. Two days of him constantly wondering if he could have done anything to avoid this outcome. Two days of him asking himself if things were going to be alright again, once she calmed down a bit or if… if they were over…
She came up to him at the guild where he had been sitting at the bar, staring thoughtlessly at a glass of fire whiskey and its six empty friends beside it (all of which he had downed ever since he came to the guild an hour before). She didn't give a long speech about how wrong her behavior was. Didn't beg him to forgive her. She simply sat next to him, twiddling her thumps nervously and mumbled "I'm sorry, Natsu. I'm so sorry…" before looking at him with her hazel eyes so honest and sparkling with unshed tears, he couldn't even imagine doubting that what she said was anything but true. There was a certain desperation noticeable in her voice, that made him return her gaze.
"It's okay…" He answered, just as quietly, smiling at her, which she took as an invitation to drop her head to his shoulder, sobbing into his neck, while he wrapped his arm around her shoulder lightly, relishing in the feeling for as long as she would allow.
Time went by, his frustration grew.
It wasn't like when they had had a fight. They talked just fine. The couple could still spend hours just chatting with each other about anything and nothing, but there was always this hated distance between them that Natsu just didn't dare cross (without her initiating anything… which she didn't).
There was one time he tried to just hug her in the evening as a goodbye since he hoped a solo mission would help their relationship like they always did and he would take the night -ugh- train. In the end, his girlfriend started squirming in his arms, something that never happened, not even before they started going out.
He returned a week later, being just as deprived of his 'Lucy-time' as he had always been. All he wanted to do was taking her into his arms and hold her there for a minute – heck, even a few seconds would be heaven. Of course, if things went the way he wanted them to, he would never let her go again, but this wasn't a fairy tale.
Upon entering the guild hall, all he got from her was a 'Welcome back, Natsu!' which was almost drowned out by the calls of the other guild members greeting him and one of her warm smiles, while she stuck close to Gray.
GRAY, who was his eternal rival!
She should know how much it hurt him that she seemed to prefer some coolness instead of welcoming her boyfriend properly.
It hurt. It hurt so damn much, Natsu had to fake a yawn and return home, saying he was tired from the long mission, before he scared her.
And once he was there, he exploded. Not literally, well not really. The dragon slayer screamed all this out of his body and mind, tears streaming down his face all the while, and he even trashed a light lacryma in his rage slash frustration (not to mention a few burning marks and dents on the walls), before just collapsing on the ground, this time really exhausted and he didn't even make it to his hammock until he fell asleep.
Happy was the only one he ever told all of this. Sure, Lucy said not to trust him, but in serious situations the cat could really be helpful, even if he was just there to listen to his adoptive father slash older brother figure. And when Natsu woke up from his almost-coma after his solo mission, he sounded nothing but serious when he asked if everything was alright.
So Natsu told him.
They spend almost the whole day in their house in the forest, so he could let it all out for once, instead of letting it eat at him. He told Happy about the hurt. He told him about how he just wanted her to confirm their relationship, because he wasn't even sure this was called dating anymore. He told him about how he just loved her too damn much to be able to continue like this for much longer. He told him about how he wasn't even sure she still loved him. He told him that he just wanted his Luce back.
It had been August at this stage and the heat peaked to the point that he sat at his table alone in the guild. The fire mage was used to the fact that most people avoided being too near to him when summer came around, since he always radiated even more heat and they were sweating enough as it was. But seeing even his own girlfriend just ignoring his presence was… It felt terrible. And his soul itself suffered from that.
He picked less fights, even when the temperature descended again, and he rarely spoke anymore with anyone. Of course he tried to maintain the picture of the mischievous destructive mage he had been just a few months prior, but he noticed he failed miserably when Gray sat him down one day and demanded to get some answers.
It may've never been able to show, but underneath all those fights and insults and whatnot the both of them were actually like brothers who could talk about almost everything. Natsu wasn't even angry at him anymore about the incident of his return after that solo mission.
And Gray was rendered speechless when he heard to what extent this all affected Natsu. All he could advise him to do though was to speak with her about this.
Natsu didn't, though. He just took blow after blow. He could've heard the murmurs of the other guild members about how they feel sorry for him or even think of how to help him, if he hadn't been so stuck in his own misery that he spent day after day in the same routine: Wake up, come to the guild to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend, eat lunch there, return home early without Happy, and curl up in his hammock for the rest of the day and night, although he was never really able to sleep. His mind always wandered back to her and how he missed her. No, he didn't cry. He definitely didn't cry. He was the Salamander Natsu Dragneel! He did not cry! (At least that's what he told himself, but there was just no denying the wet spot on his pillow every morning…) It was kind of depressing to be honest.
He knew that Happy told them. His only hope was that at least Lucy hadn't heard about this. Wouldn't want to make him seem like even more of a weakling in her eyes.
Because that had to be the reason she didn't want to be around him anymore, right? He really couldn't think of anything else… I mean, the thing with being too hot was probably just an excuse so she didn't have to let him touch her anymore. But why didn't she just tell him that straight to the face? She should know that she could tell him anything. He would have been fine if she wanted to break up…
Okay, so he wouldn't. But that's beside the point. He would've accepted it because he didn't want to prevent her from living a happy life, be it with or without him. He would've been happy for her either way.
But he was getting off topic.
What else could've triggered her into just ignoring him like this if not for the fact that she didn't want somebody so weak in her life?
Natsu remembered that one time on a mission when they had to capture this dark mage and his group of lackeys. He had left Lucy with the latter, who were like maybe 10 non-mages, believing that she was strong enough to get rid of them on her own, while he was about to go after their leader.
And she really did get strong. She took out those guys in a matter of minutes, catching up to him while he was still fighting the mage. And because she was there, the difficulty level of the fight doubled. She couldn't help him, because she exhausted her magic energy in her own fight. And his opponent seemed to notice that and made her his target, forcing Natsu to pay even more attention with his own magic riding a little low.
Eventually, the mage fell unconscious, but not without injuring Lucy. Natsu wasn't able to stop him, because he had previously been smashed into a nearby boulder. The wound on her leg wasn't all that painful, as she had assured him, but it was still true. He had been unable to protect her. He was weak. Too weak. He didn't deserve to call Lucy his partner if he couldn't even protect her. Much less her boyfriend.
It was only natural that she figured this out eventually.
Knowing this didn't help his depressing thoughts at all, as he had to experience.
After some time Mira came to him. The takeover mage said not to worry. Something about how she may be able to help some way or another. Seemed like she was the messenger for the 'worry-bastards' as he had baptized them. He couldn't just turn her down though. After all this was one of his last chances.
That was just a few days ago.
Apparently, she really did something, because when he sat at the bar munching sluggishly on his usually beloved fire chicken that day, Lucy asked him if he wanted to accompany her home. Of course, Natsu instantly agreed, glad that she wanted to spend some time with him again. Being the forgiving person that he was, he never questioned her sudden change in attitude and just enjoyed their close contact. After all walking next to her was as close as he had gotten in several weeks.
One time his hand accidentally brushed hers just for a split second and he had hardly been able to restrict his urge to hug and cuddle and kiss the living daylights out of her. He had almost bit through his bottom lip. At the last possible moment he had stopped though, being no fan of lip piercings (reminded him to much of the metal freak).
They spent the afternoon together, talking about everything and nothing and laughing and just enjoying themselves like old times. 'Like old times', huh…? That sounded like it had been an eternity ago, although it was only like 2 months. Anyway, he enjoyed every single second of the time. Of course they weren't touching but they were so damn close to doing, it was reassuring and frustrating at the same time.
It got even better though, when she invited him to stay over like he did so many times before, so many nights ago.
It became awkward from that point onward.
After she returned from the bathroom from her daily routines, she lay down in her bed while he stood next to her couch kind of indecisive as to what exactly he should do.
"Natsu…" Her voice got him out of his stupor and when he looked at her, she had lifted up the covers a little. It took him a second to understand that she wanted him to join her in her bed instead of the couch. When he did, she smiled at him lovingly, giving him a little hope that the last few weeks weren't enough to destroy their relationship. He couldn't help but grin back at her elatedly.
Now though, he faced a whole different problem. He had been lying awake for several hours, since he just didn't seem able to fall asleep. Sure, his urge to touch her, cuddle her and hold her frame against his chest had been strong enough for him to lose sleep before, but being this close to her and not being allowed to, was actually much worse than pretending that the pillow in his arms was his girlfriend. And it drove him nuts.
And that brought him to where he was now.
He had begun to turn again as his thoughts turned towards her once more. He had been trying to get his mind off of her ever since he joined her. Apparently it didn't really work as well as the fire mage had hoped.
"Seriously Natsu, what's the matter? And don't you dare say that 'nothing's wrong', because I can tell that there is something on your mind and I won't stop nagging you about this until you spill." Her voice ripped him out of his trance, making him tense up and cease his turning so that his back faced her. He knew that by now she had been looking at him again. But he couldn't risk her finding out that the problem was her.
The dragon slayer was afraid. Afraid that if he told her everything, she'd decide that he was much too clingy to stick around with and leave him. He was pretty sure that being dumped by her would really kill him. If it didn't he'd do it himself. For as long as they were officially together he had at least a glimpse of hope that everything would return to normal eventually. But if he screwed up now, everything would go down the drain.
So he stayed silent, hoping she'd believe that he actually fell asleep like he had planned to. Except she didn't.
"Natsu! I know you aren't sleeping! Come on, just tell me…" He felt himself starting to give in, though, he didn't give up.
"Please, I'm worried…" Okay, that was the last straw. He could hear her puppy eyes.
"I miss you…" He whispered so quietly he wasn't even sure she heard it, not daring to look at her. "I really miss you, Luce."
"Don't you mean you 'missed' me?"
"…"
"I'm right here with you, dummy…"
"… It hurts."
"What-?"
"I love you, Lucy. But it hurts. It hurts that I can't kiss you anymore. It hurts that I can't hug you anymore. It hurts that I can't even hold your hand. That I can't touch you whatsoever, that I can't be near you, that you won't even talk to me more than a few words a day, that you're more often with Gray now than with me… It hurts that I love you, because I don't know if you still love me. If you ever did…" He unconsciously raised his voice with every sentence that left his mouth but the last bit was uttered almost silently. At this point, Natsu couldn't bear to lie right next to her anymore, so he sat up to stay on the edge of the bed, his back still facing her.
"Natsu…" His name was just barely a whisper, but he could tell that she was quite shocked by his outburst.
"I miss you, Lucy… I miss you so fucking much!" The fire mage had tried not to scream, so he didn't scare her any more than he already did, but he was still almost shouting at her. He wanted to say more, wanted her to understand that he meant it. His hands fisted in his hair, trying to rip it out in his frustration, because he just didn't find the words to explain what he felt. She shut him up though by hugging him from behind. He hadn't even noticed her getting up to kneel behind him.
"I missed you too, Natsu…" The blonde girl murmured against the soft fabric of his scarf. His mind was blank except for his wish to be able to turn around and squeeze the hell out of her, because he wanted to feel her again, feel her soft skin, her silky hair, her goddess-like body against his and most of all her soft warm lips, but he was so shocked that he couldn't move or think or do anything at all really for two minutes. When he finally got his body under control again, he did just that. Hug her to the point that he wasn't sure if she could still breathe.
She had to let go of him when he turned around to look at her before strong arms circled her waist and pulled her to sit next to him (well more like almost on his lap) and against his trained torso in the process, engulfing her in a loving embrace from her favorite man in all of Fiore and the worlds of both Earthland and Edolas. Ah, heck, scratch that – her favorite man in the universe.
"Lucy…" He softly nuzzled her neck, inhaling her intoxicating scent. He had tried numerous times to figure out just what it was. He could faintly smell flowers (probably from her shampoo) and something warm, like the sun and something else that he couldn't quite describe, but for whatever reason associated with stars. Maybe it was her magic. In the end he decided that she smelled like Lucy. She smiled when the air of his contended sigh tickled her neck, making her shut her eyes and relax in his arms, but her heartbeat stayed in sync with his in an unimaginably fast pace. Without thinking she wound her arms around his neck, gently playing with the pink hair there to soothe him (and herself somewhat).
And so they sat there in each other's arms, almost desperately trying to feel as much as possible to make sure that this wasn't just a dream and trying to not go crazy because of the missed sensation of each other in their arms. There were no more words, because everything that had to be said was said and any more would just ruin the moment. Right now, all that mattered was that they had each other. It seemed like an eternity passed until Lucy spoke up again, but it was the best eternity Natsu could ever imagine.
"Wait a second… Are you sick?" She asked worriedly, since he was getting – literally – cooler with every passing moment.
"Huh? No, why? I feel just great actually."
"Well, you feel almost… cold. What's the matter?" Those eyes again. The way she was looking up at him after pushing herself out of his arms for the moment made it impossible for him to tell her anything but the truth. Even if it was embarrassing…
"Oh, that… well, I thought that if I… If I'm not as warm as usual, I'd… maybe you'd allow me to hug you for a while longer… You know, since you always complained about it being too hot and stuff…" His voice grew quieter with every word he spoke, showing his feelings of hurt and uncertainty to her.
"Natsu… you're really thinking of that now?" She made it sound like he was doing something stupid again. They both knew that he had the ability to control his body temperature to a certain degree, but neither of them had thought of using that to solve their current problem. It had just been popping into Natsu's mind, when he was pulled back into reality once more.
"What do you mean?" He was genuinely confused as to why she was suddenly asking him so many questions.
"Natsu… It's October, now. I'll shiver even more if you cool down any further. So could you please return to your normal temperature?" She looked down at him, seeing how he had yet to lift his face from her neck, while she was trying to make her shivers stop through will power alone, but that wasn't working all that well. The idea in itself wasn't all that stupid. Maybe it would prove useful the next year. But for right now, she needed his heat more than anything, if she didn't want to catch a cold.
"You sure?" When she nodded – and he noticed that she had begun shivering – Lucy instantly felt him become steadily warmer until he was her personal heater again, which is why she snuggled into his chest without hesitation again, incidentally preventing him from snuggling into her sensitive flesh, since it was quite embarrassing when she had figured out that he smelled her. Her blush betrayed her though.
Really, she should be used to it by now. Ever since they started dating, he had been slowly but steadily getting more daring in terms of touching her. It had only taken a few weeks for him to decide that he especially liked to cuddle against her neck and a week more for her to understand what he was doing.
There was only one more thing bothering her. Although she was just about to find that out as well.
"Why did you never tell me about it…?" It was mumbled against his scarf again but he was still able to understand her. Sometimes heightened senses do have their upsides.
"Huh?"
"I thought that you didn't care about me anymore since you just stopped trying to hug or kiss me or anything really…"
"Lucy…" He didn't need to say more to get his point across. He chose to show her instead. By kissing her. The feel of his warm and a little rough lips on hers was somewhat familiar and foreign at the same time. His lips were still unbelievably hot and a little chapped, yet still melted against hers so very perfectly. Though she wasn't used to this need he expressed by simply locking lips with her. It was almost as if he had had to hold back this entire time.
Of course, she didn't know that she was dead-on.
"Of course I still care about you! I love you… Lucy, please believe me! I love you so much…" He panted out as they broke apart for air. She had to wait until he stopped kissing her (again) and she regained her breath before she could respond. Let's say it took a while.
"I know. And I should have known better than to doubt it. After all, you told me so many times and you weren't even questioning why I had suddenly invited you again. But I thought that was simply so you could sleep in my comfortable bed again…"
"Y'know… this bed isn't half as comfy without you cuddling up next to me." This brought a soft smile and a radiant blush onto the most beautiful face the dragon slayer had ever seen in his entire life.
"By the way… I love you too, Natsu. More than you think and more than I can understand. So don't go thinking I'll ever leave you, okay?" Hearing her say this was too much for him to contain his joy. He just started grinning and laughing, and it seemed to be contagious, since Lucy soon joined him.
I'm not sure if I'm happy with this ending... It might be edited later on, if I get an idea on how to do it better.
Anyway, thank you very much for reading my first Fairy Tail fanfic! I'm glad you made it through this monster of a story alive and I hope that you enjoyed it (at least just a little bit). Also, I would really appreciate it if you would tell me how I did, because I'm still very new to this. I'd like to improve, so please help me by pointing out what I could have done better! Thanks in advance!
And last but not least: I don't own anything I have written about. Even the idea belongs to the plot bunny hiding under my bed!