Confessions of a Cullen
Chapter 1: The dark revelation
I stared in the mirror. Another day, another lie. How long could I go on like this? Everyday day I could feel my secret tearing me apart, and not in the way I liked.
I heard heavy footsteps outside my door. It must be Emmett; he's the only one that heavy on his feet.
"Come in Emmett"
The door swung open, and my muscular, enticingly handsome brother walked in. It wouldn't be that wrong, we're not really brothers! I bet loads of people-
"Just making sure you're ready to go hunting tonight bro"
"Of course" I grinned. Although I knew in my heart that the only thing I want to hunt for tonight is hairy man cock.
That's right, I'm Edward Cullen, and I'm a massive homo.
Chapter 2: The Gaydar
Emmett probably thought I knew it was him because of my "mind reading" I couldn't help but let out a chuckle when I thought of that. Maybe when I finally get enough balls to tell my family I pack fudge all night I'll be able to tell them that rather than mind reading, my special power is an extremely finely tuned gaydar. That's right, if you slurp man goo, I can tell from a mile away. I could pick a scrot-sucker from a line up of thousands.
There'll be no need where I'm headed. Tomorrow I'm saying goodbye to my family, I've told them I'm going to meet with the Volturi, but in fact I'm flying out to London to go on the annual gay pride parade.
I skipped down to my pink grand piano, and took the Abba Gold sheet music out of the holder. Not that I needed it of course, I'd played through it so many times I knew every song of by heart. I could picture every pillow-biting note in my head right now. It was the main inspiration for my latest piece "When I Turn Around Be Gentle (I'm Having Sex Behind Your Back)"
"Dude, Abba is so gay" I hear Jasper call from upstairs.
"Hah, yeah, I know… I'm... Errrm, I'm learning it for Bella" I shouted "Abba are a bunch of….faggots…." I whispered. I was crying inside.
Chapter 3: Gay Pride
I'd never felt more at home, walking at human pace, surrounded by fellow gays, and holding a massive sign with a picture of me sucking a banana with the slogan "I go down for brown"
I've never been happier.
"Bender!"
"Faggot!"
"Edward loves dick!"
What? Who was shouting that? Was I the only one that could hear them? I looked around, and all seemed well with the sausage loving parade. But then I saw them out of the corner of my eye. Aro, Caius and Marcus, the three masters of the Volturi.
"What are you doing here?" I shouted.
"Well, we were just wandering through the gay parade, and- No you idiot! We heard rumors that you take your deliveries in the back passage, and came to see if it was true. But obviously we weren't mistaken. You do backhand the savaloy."
"Leave me alone!" I whined feebly, knowing that I was too much of a queer little pussy to fight them.
"Hahahaha, you really think we'd let a screaming bender walk in our midst. No, we have come for your life. Also you told Bella about being a vampire and whatever. Mostly because you're gay though."
Then it all went black. And not in a nice way, like when I close my eyes to get rammed up the ass by a massive black vampire like Laurent. Seriously though, they killed me. Also I love cock.