How I think Edward Felt after he leaves Bella in the forest =(
They said this place was the most beautiful on earth. It meant nothing to me, no, I'm not blind, it's just… well the beautiful landscape wasn't enough, it didn't soothe my pain. My heart was numb, splintered into miniscule pieces by the biggest lie I had ever told in my life, and if I had to do it again, well life would no longer be an option for me.
Suicidal, but I couldn't even try, watched constantly for my family, they feared for my life now. I was a danger to myself. I knew Alice was watching me, I could hear her breathing, her thoughts; well I couldn't hear them anymore. When my heart broke I just wanted death, and the closest thing I could get to death was cutting myself off from everything, so I stopped reading minds. I don't know how I stopped, I just did, it stopped completely, blank. Everything is blank, apart from my mind. Buzzing thoughts of her, and only her, any other thought that strayed across my consciousness was instantly obliterated.
Pure and innocent, the love of my eternity and I broke her into pieces and myself along the way. To begin with I kept telling myself it was for the greater good, but now sitting here remembering her face when I told the biggest lie ever; it seemed like the biggest evil.
Sleep, would have shown me mercy, granted me some time to exist without thoughts of her. But no, I don't sleep do I, 24 hours of torture for eternity. I needed her, existence had no point without her, she was my everything and now she was broken back in Forks, and I was spending every second remembering every inch of her porcelain skin, every line in her blood red lips, the scent of her hair…NO I had to stop, I was pulling myself apart and there was no point, my suffering would not bring her back to me.
I scream her name to the mountains and the valleys and I scream the truth, not the lie. The words echo and bounce off every surface and I feel a hand on my shoulder. Over my reflected voice I hear Alice whisper. She loves you too.