Lateline, With Ben Urich

by Brownish

Ultimate Spidey does an interview after being unmasked.

URICH: Good evening. My name is Ben Urich, and tonight I'll be interviewing Peter Parker, recently revealed by CNN to be the vigilante known as Spider-Man. This interview will be live, unedited, and uninterrupted. In the interest of full disclosure, I worked with Peter at the Daily Bugle for several years.

PARKER: That's why I wanted you to do this.

U: Because you trust me?

P: Because I know you. You were always trying to tell people what was going on, what was really happening, even if they didn't care. Now that everyone knows who I am…I guess I want them to know the truth. That's why I asked for you.

U: That's what I'll try to do. So…

P: How are you going to do this?

U: Well, I ask a question and you answer it. Or you don't. And when you want to stop, I ask another question.

P: Okay.

U: Obvious question. How do you feel about being unmasked?

P: When I saw it – the CNN report, I mean – it was like all the air just went out of me. It was terrifying. The first thing I thought was, that every whackjob whose butt I'd ever kicked was going to know where I lived in about an hour. And…well, I had to get Aunt May somewhere safe, so I was mostly worried about that.

U: Where is she now?

P: Some S.H.I.E.L.D. safehouse. It's the only place with the right security. That made me relax, but then I remembered how many times Osborn escaped from them. So maybe there's no such thing as the right security.

U: Norman Osborn?

P: Yes.

U: You fought him. Repeatedly.

P: Yes.

U: The last time he escaped, he told the media that Fury had illegally imprisoned him.

P: That's – he's such a liar. He actually believes it, you know. He thinks he's some misunderstood genius, that the things he's done by accident make up for all the crap he's done on purpose. He killed Harry, you know? He made his own son into a monster, and then he killed him. Harry's mom, too. He deserved to go to jail, he deserved to die. Yeah, Fury locked him away. That's what Fury does, because anything that worries Fury is something he can use. But it wasn't illegal. If he'd gone to trial, Norman would have gone to jail.

U: But Fury imprisoned him without trial, violated habeas corpus.

P: I didn't say Fury was right to do it.

U: Okay. Let's get back to your identity, as Spider-Man. You've said that you're not a mutant.

P: Not that there's anything wrong with being a mutant.

U: …Right. So, how did you get your powers?

P: Oh, man. I tell people this, and they never believe me.

U: Go ahead.

P: I got bit by a spider.

U: Really?

P: Yeah. Look, Norman was experimenting with Oz – his super-soldier formula – on animals. One of their spiders got loose, and bit me – I was visiting the labs on a school trip. I had a weird few days, but then – spider powers.

U: What exactly are your powers?

P: I'm faster and stronger. And I have spider-sense.

U: Spider sense.

P: It's sort of a limited precognition, that warns me of danger. It's not conscious, and I'm not really sure if it's actual precognition or just accelerated subconscious processing of background data. I wish I could get some scans of my brain as it happens but, uh, hard to carry an MRI around when I'm swinging.

U: So, speed, strength, spider-sense. What about your webs?

P: Oh. That's not actually a power. I have these web-shooters that strap onto my wrists, they fire an artificial fluid that forms a tensile line. My dad created the formula, I just designed the shooters. I guess I should patent them.

U: You got your powers from a spider bite.

P: Yes.

U: And then you designed a web shooter.

P: It didn't happen overnight, it was like a week of thinking it over until I had the right idea.

U: Okay, but…why?

P: Because it's pretty hard to jump between buildings, even with super strength.

U: Not that. Why be Spider-Man?

P: Excuse me?

U: Why be Spider-Man? What made you decide to go out and risk your life to stop crime?

P: It was the right thing to do.

U: No paycheck. No gratitude, not for years.

P: Well, you were at the Bugle. You know how that happened.

U: I do. But we're getting off track. You were given super-powers out of the blue, and you decided to become Spider-Man solely because it was the right thing to do?

P: No.

U: Oh?

P: That wasn't what I did. My family – uncle Ben and aunt May – needed money. When I was still adjusting, I broke this guy's hand and his family was suing. We needed money. So, I went out to this wrestling place, and started pretending to beat guys up. For cash.

U: Why did you stop?

P: …Uh.

U: You don't have to answer.

P: No, it's…this is everything. This is the whole thing, and if I want to tell the truth, I have to tell this as well. Um. I was doing the wrestling thing, and one night the cash box turned up missing. They thought I'd taken it, I scarpered. On the way out this guy went by me, running, with a bag he'd obviously stolen. I could have stopped him; it would have been a snap. But I didn't. And…and a few days later, while I was out of the house, this guy tried to rob our house. We didn't have any money, but…he killed Uncle Ben. He killed my uncle. The same guy. If I'd stopped him, it wouldn't have happened.

U: You became Spider-Man out of guilt?

P: At first, I guess. But no. It wasn't just that. Before he died, Uncle Ben told me 'With great power must come great responsibility'. It was something my father believed. I didn't understand, not until it was too late, but…if I have these powers, if I can do all these things that most people can't…don't I have a responsibility to do what I can? All the crazies that started showing up, an ordinary person couldn't stop them. But I could. If I had just ignored that…that would be wrong.

U: You want some water?

P: Yeah. Thanks.

U: You've explained why you became a vigilante, but why the Spider-Man persona? The mask, and the costume?

P: Same reason everyone else does it. I had people trying to kill me right from the start, and I didn't want Aunt May to get hurt. Or MJ.

U: Mary-Jane Watson.

P: Yeah, let's put her name out on national television. Help her keep a low profile. Well done, Peter.

U: She's your girlfriend?

P: We started dating after I started being Spider-Man. We're still friends.

U: But you're not dating her any more.

P: No.

U: You're single now?

P: Yeah. Uh, Ben, you're giving off kind of a creepy vibe here.

U: Sorry. I actually don't care at all, but the producer made me promise to ask. A lot of people do care. A lot of girls.

P: Ugh. Fans. That was another reason for the costume, all the crap Johnny had to deal with.

U: Johnny…?

P: Johnny Storm.

U: The Human Torch?

P: Yeah.

U: Are you friends?

P: Yeah. He's a great guy, and it's good to have someone to talk about stuff with. He's had it tough.

U: His father's death in the Flood.

P: Exactly. He crashed at my place for a while, when he got back. Actually, so did Bobby. Drake. The Iceman.

U: The Human Torch and Iceman both slept at your place?

P: Bobby's parents kicked him out, Kitty sent him on to my place, and Aunt May took him in. She did the same thing with Johnny. And Gwen, I guess.

U: She sounds like a great woman.

P: She is.

U: I remember that time she talked to Jonah on the phone.

P: When he fired me that time?

U: I think that was it, you know. She gave him a kick, got him back in the game. He's not a bad guy.

P: I know that. He came to see me, after. Tell me I had my job back, and that you'd be taking me out on assignment.

U: I remember that.

P: Yeah.

U: The producer's giving me dirty looks from behind the camera, so I'm going to move on.

P: Fair enough.

U: Mutants. You're very definite that you're not one.

P: An illegal genetic experiment, Fury called me once.

U: But you've still encountered prejudice, even though you're not a mutant. Would things have been better, or worse, if you'd got your powers through mutation?

P: What would it have changed? Mutants don't choose to be mutants. It's just, wham, 'you can melt steel with your eyes now, chuckles'. Pretty much the same thing happened to me. What's the difference, if it's genetic or an accident? There's still no choice. No one asked me my opinion.

U: You're saying that you're the same as a mutant?

P: No. I just don't think it would have changed anything, except maybe I would have got lynched a bit more.

U: Not just in the media.

P: Uh-huh.

U: What do you think about the mutant problem?

P: What problem?

U: Well, the fact that we have a growing minority with extraordinary power, many of whom no longer regard themselves as part of the human race.

P: Oh. Yes, I noticed that. They never really mentioned it, but it was always there when they talked about being homo superior. It kind of freaked me out.

U: The X-Men?

P: Yes. But it's sort of understandable. Everyone keeps talking about the mutant problem, these people that have powers and can't be controlled. No wonder they feel different to us, we keep telling them that they are.

U: Don't you think there's reason for ordinary people to be afraid of mutants?

P: Of course there's a reason for them to be worried. But being worried about 'mutants'; well, that's just making things worse. Some of them get their powers and start robbing banks, or trying to destroy the human race. But how many times have the X-men stopped Magneto from taking over the world?

U: I don't think it's just fear of mutants taking over, Peter. Practically speaking, mutants have an edge on any baseline human. Their powers make them physically more powerful than anyone else.

P: So? Captain America's more powerful than almost any mutant, and no one's telling him he can't use his powers in public.

U: Because he works for the government. Like everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D., he's accountable to his superiors; he works inside a familiar structure.

P: Yeah, that makes sense. The Hulk's always been really accountable.

P: What?

U: You're saying that S.H.I.E.L.D. is just as dangerous as mutants?

P: No, no way. I'm just saying that people are dangerous. Why should people with powers be any different? It's like…well, there aren't good and bad people, and then people with powers. You shouldn't think of yourself differently because you're a, a telekinetic or something. There are good and bad people, and some of us have powers. Does it really matter how we got them?

U: You don't think there's a fundamental difference between humans and mutants?

P: Genetically, there is. I just don't think it's important to how we act. My DNA's been screwed with, but I don't feel any less like a person.

U: All right. What about those who receive their powers intentionally? The 'crazies', I think you called them.

P: Well, for most of them it wasn't intentional. Mostly experiments, and that's probably part of it. They didn't get powers, the powers were done to them.

U: Doctor Octopus, for example.

P: …Yes.

U: I remember when he first appeared after the accident, and went after Hammer. That's the sort of thing you're talking about?

P: Yes. He wanted revenge, and he became a killer.

U: I did some quick research this afternoon, on Octavius – on everyone you've fought, actually.

P: Oh?

U: This is going to sound strange, but – why do they hate you so much?

P: I have no idea. I think – the first thing I thought when I got my powers, was that I could do anything. And it wore off. Maybe it never did, for them. Electro, and the rest. Maybe it's the thought of being stopped from doing anything they want that pisses them off.

U: What about the Kingpin?

P: He's dead. Mysterio killed him.

U: Yes. I've always wondered – did you give me that CD?

P: I knew you'd do the right thing with it. It was the truth.

U: It didn't bring him down. He was back in just a year.

P: It was the truth.

U: But that wasn't enough. Even the attempted murder of Spector – he came back. He was killed by a criminal, not convicted under the law.

P: I know. That really – I don't know. When I first started trying to get at Kingpin – well, he beat the snot out of me. He took my mask off. I managed to get out of there, and he didn't get my name, but – he saw my face. I wanted the world to see his, to see what he really was. That's what M—Daredevil wanted to do, and Spector ended up doing.

U: You were working with Daredevil?

P: He's kind of a jerk, but he always does the right thing. Kept trying to get me to go home. We got together to get rid of Kingpin, him and me, Moon Knight, and…some other people I'm not going to mention.

U: It didn't work.

P: No. He was playing us right from the start. But Spector managed to make something stick. That was – that was amazing.

U: You said Fisk saw your face.

P: Yeah. I was scared out of my mind, but…I guess there's a lot of white male teenagers in New York.

U: But once he knew you went to Midtown…

P: Oh, God. That was a nightmare. But school…I mean, me, Kitty, Johnny went there for a while, and Bobby. So many people with powers at that school.

U: Fisk never tried to hunt you down?

P: At first. But just before he tried to kill Moon Knight – Kingpin had him fetch me. That was his test, to be Fisk's bodyguard. He took me to him, and Kingpin told me that he owned me. That tub of lard sat in front of me, and said that he owned the licensing rights for my merchandise. That no matter what I did to him, I making him money anyway. And then he sent his guys off to kill Moon Knight, and left me there.

U: Jesus.

P: Yeah.

U: So Fisk saw your face.

P: He did.

U: I asked before why you kept your identity a secret. Now I'm wondering, how did you do it?

P: I was horrible at the secret-identity thing – well, obviously, because here I am on national TV. I lost my mask I don't know how many times, kept accidentally telling people my real name…and trying to have a normal life at the same time, I was pretty crap at that. That time I went to Brazil, that was almost a disaster.

U: You had trouble fitting in a personal life?

P: Any life at all. I was always skipping classes to go fight the Rhino, or something. And then once everyone knew that Spider-Man went to Midtown, the crazies started coming to me. My marks…I don't know how I held it together.

U: You never thought about stopping?

P: I did stop. For a little while. After…um.

U: You don't have to tell me.

P: It's not that I don't want to, it's just classified – according to Fury. And it could…Okay. Um, someone I knew died. Kind of because of me. So I stopped wearing the costume, but…I went for a run over the roofs, and there was this woman being mugged. I stopped it. And…I knew that the same thing was happening, all over the city. If I didn't help, then I was just as guilty.

U: There's always going to be crime in New York, Peter.

P: Yeah, I have a guilt complex. I know. But there could be less crime.

U: There is. You, the Human Torch, Iceman…New York has more active street-level heroes than it's ever had before. Violent crime is down two per cent.

P: Seriously?

U: Yes.

P: Wow.

U: Do you feel proud of that?

P: I know Uncle Ben would be proud of that.

U: Do you think the good you've done is worth what you've had to do? Had to give up?

P: What, a few periods of school? Lower marks?

U: Peter, I'm talking about your future. People are going to be after you for the rest of your life.

P: The opposite of arachnophobia?

U: People are going to try to kill you.

P: People have been trying to kill me ever since I got bit by that spider.

U: That doesn't bother you?

P: Of course it bothers me. It scares me senseless. But…I know what the right thing is. And I'm going to do it. If they want to kill me, that's their problem, but I don't care what those crazies want me to do. They don't matter.

U: Okay. That's a good note to end the interview on. And, anyway, the producer is jumping up and down and waving his arms, so I guess he wants to get on with the rest of the segment.

P: Okay. Thanks for doing this, Ben. It, uh…wasn't that bad.

U: Are you doing more interviews?

P: Not a chance in hell.

U: Right then. Good luck.

P: Thanks.