Hey everyone! Since I haven't updated in a long time even though I say I will you learn that I just don't get around to some things... but this time I won't let it go! This song just ran through my head and I am not going to let it escape this time!! So this is a total spur-of-the-moment one-shot... very random, I might add. I don't know... I listened to this song and I felt sooo sad, even though they don't really want to portray angst and to like promote it (they actually want to show people that they're not alone when it comes to these situations), it really depends on the way you look at it. I am not insulting them, though. I pretty much respect their idea and support it wholly. No one's truly alone unless they dig themselves in any early pessimistic grave and convince themselves there's no way out. And that... should never happen!
Anyway, on with the incredibly short one-shot.
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura (which belongs to CLAMP and Kodansha) or Cardcaptors (which no one cares about, but it belongs to Nelvana none the less. They can have it for all I (or anyone) cares... keep it and... hm... I won't go too far!). As for the inspiration, I do not own the beautiful song "Hello" by Evanescence (although I can sing it pretty good!!! ...in my dreams...)
Key
... = the song
/%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% = divides the present - flashback
'thoughts' = in flashback
'thoughts' = in present
"dialogue"
The fic was originally in first person... but you get more out of the story in third person.
Card Captor Sakura
Hello
By: T. (Conspiratorial Omen)
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A lonely man stood before a specific area by a hill, under a cherry blossom tree. His mood fit both the weather and his location: a dark, humid day in the Tomoeda Cemetery. His shoulders drooped visibly and he fought to swallow the bile of raw emotions that were rising in him. His eyes were fixed upon a headstone of a grave that held words that would forever be embedded in his memories.
Nadeshiko Amimaya Kinomoto
Eternally sweet, beautiful and kind
Loving neighbour, relative, wife and mother
'Who knew that what started out as a perfect day could end in such a horrible tragedy?'
/%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
7:53
A young, ten-year-old boy was kicking a soccer ball around on his front lawn.
"Okaa-san!" He shouted, impatiently, his dark, black-brown hair bobbing up and down as he hopped from one foot to the other. "I'm supposed to be a team captain today! We only have a little time to play before school!" He complained in his childish voice when, to his relief, a woman finally stepped out the front door with a packaged lunch in one hand, and the other encouraging a sleepy toddler to follow.
The playground school bell rings again
She was beautiful. She had long, wavy hair that was dark grey- almost black. It shone like silk as she moved forward with surprising grace recently obtained after years of clumsiness. Her flowing tresses contrasted in colour, yet matched her pale skin and soft expression as her shining emerald eyes gazed at her son longer than usual, with a foreign emotion in her eyes. Snapping out of her thoughts, she handed him the small lunch.
"...arigatou...!" the boy said slowly, not sure why this unknown glint was bothering him. It made him feel sad, and scared... and alone.
Kinomoto Nadeshiko merely smiled at her son Touya reassuringly, then sadly, and suddenly... expectantly. Shaking off the feeling, he rolled his eyes but grinned and kissed her cheek. As he was about to walk away she cleared her throat teasingly and he heard a little huff. Suppressing a grin, he turned and glared as best as he could at his adorable little sister and kaijuu, Sakura. She was only three and had a short mop of honey-brown hair, rosy (and puffy) cheeks, as well as the same eyes as his mother. He sighed and bent to her eye level.
Pouting, she tried to mirror his glare and when she failed miserably, reached out and pulled on his nose. "Nii-chan baka!" she huffed again and crossed her arms.
Not being able to keep in his smile at her cuteness, he ruffled her hair and gave her a hug. She squealed, contentedly, and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek as he pulled away and scrubbed at it mockingly (to which she merely stuck out her tongue in response).
"Silly kaijuu!" he teased and then addressed both his sister and mother, fondly. "Can I go now?? I'm gonna be late!"
Their laughter echoed back as Nadeshiko was about to nod, but was interrupted when a deeper chuckle sounded from behind and they turned their attention to Kinomoto Fujitaka, Nadeshiko's loving husband and the children's equally loving father. He had the neat auburn hair Sakura had inherited as well as the same dark brown eyes Touya himself had, the kindness portrayed in them clearly behind his glasses and smiling face.
"I'll give you a ride, Touya." He kissed Nadeshiko and little Sakura and playfully threw Touya over his shoulder and carried him to the car, all laughing.
A happy family.
8:01
"Arigatou, Otou-san!" Touya called back as he ran from the car, dashing to the soccer field. "Ja!!"
His father merely smiled and shook his head, giving a slight wave. "See you after school, Touya-kun!"
"Un!!"
As the car pulled out of the parking lot, a small shiver ran down Fujitaka's spine. At the time, however, it was 8:03 AM and he needed to prepare his lecture at the university for that day. He chose to ignore it.
Rain clouds come to play again
8:42
A disheartened Touya slowly stared out the window at the rain. The morning soccer game had been cut short when the sky grew dark and rumbling was heard somewhere off in the distance. His regular attentiveness had left him that day and he found himself feeling oddly distracted.
'Where had the rain come from?' he thought. 'It's almost as if... it's a sign.'
"Touya-san..."
His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden silence and quiet conversation at the doorway of the classroom. Absent-mindedly, he noted that many of his classmates stares were on him in the reflection of the window. Turning to face the front, he was surprised with the gentle prodding of his teacher.
"Touya-san?" his sensei prodded gently, causing him to snap out of his reverie and take in his surroundings: the saddened face of the teacher, the quietness of his classmates, and the principal's awkward stare.
...The principal?
"H-hai, sensei?" Touya queried, nervously. Anything involving the principal of Tomoeda Elementary was not a small deal.
'...was it because I was mad when they told us we couldn't play soccer in the rain?' he frowned. 'That's no reason...'
"Kinomoto." The principal called from the door. "Please come down to the office with me."
Feeling lost, Touya turned to his sensei who nodded lightly and gently helped him up and saw him to the door.
"Take as much time as you need, Touya-san." He blinked, but nodded.
'Since when has sensei called me by my first name...?'
Following the principal quietly, a million thoughts raced through his little head. That feeling he had since this morning had not gone away, and it was stirring deeply inside of him. It was a new feeling he didn't quite understand and was beginning to fear it's rapid growth.
'I'll ask okaa-san later. She always makes me feel okay.' He concluded as they stepped into the office.
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
8:47
He had just found himself being very uncomfortable with the silence and resorted to staring at his shoes when the principal pulled out of his conflicting state.
"Kinomoto-kun..." he started softly, and Touya immediately found himself disliking the tone. It was one of those... 'explain-in-baby-words' or 'you-have-to-understand-the-first-time-through' tones. And he didn't like them... they always meant trouble when okaa-san used them.
"...hai, Sutmatsu-sensei?" he bowed his head slightly to him when another long pause had occurred.
Sutmatsu Noru merely shook his head sadly and decided to go with the tone and break it to the small child as best as he could.
"Kinomoto-kun... we got a call from your father just now..." He started softly, and continued at young Touya's nod. "...and he wishes for you to get all your things together because he has to pick you up early today."
"...h-hai, Sutmatsu-sensei." As he made to leave, the older man shook his head sadly and motioned for him to sit back down.
Ignoring his confusion and overwhelming curiosity, which was slowly forming into annoyance, he obeyed nonetheless and waited patiently.
"...Kinomoto-kun..." Sutmatsu sighed sadly and gave him a sympathetic look, or in a sense, pitiful one.
"It's your mother. She's... in the ICU at Tomoeda Hospital... do you understand...? ...Kinomoto-kun???"
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to...
8:55
Tension and worry emanated from the Kinomoto's car as the father shakingly reassured both his son, and himself, as they made their way to the hospital.
"Daijoubuyo, Touya-kun!" Fujitaka comforted, although his confidence sounded empty to even himself. However, he still persisted, determination set to convince the world that everything had to be okay. Had to.
"I'm sure okaa-san is just fine! Zettai daijoubou!"
As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, they ran into a hysteric Daidouji Sonomi who was waiting in front of the building, looking lost, and accompanied by her faithful bodyguards. Her hand was held tightly by a small toddler with curly raven locks and innocent amethyst eyes staring in confusion and wonder around her.
Hopping out and guiding Touya alongside him, Fujitaka stepped up to her and shook her out of her present state. "Sonomi-kun? Daijoubou ka?"
"Kinomoto-sensei!!" Sonomi bawled, her hostile demeanour long forgotten in the moment. "Tell me this isn't happening!!!"
Fujitaka merely shook his head and guided Sonomi into the lobby to face the dreaded news.
"Touya-kun, this way. It's okay, don't be afraid. We must be strong for okaa-san, right?"
Touya nodded unsurely, still dazed and unsure of what was going on. He looked at the little girl next to him, reminding him so much of his little sister.
"Ano..." she began, her soft voice unsure as she tugged on his sleeve. "Daijoubou?"
Again, he nodded, and the four female bodyguards lead the two youths into the lobby.
...hello?
From there, all he could remember was sickly-white walls, beeping noises and shouts from every direction.
"What happened?! Where is my cousin??? Where is Nadeshiko!?!?!"
"My wife and daughter... are they alright?"
"...Kinomoto Nadeshiko and my little Sakura-san."
Another tall man joined the group and stared in utter disbelief and horror. "Iie... masaka!"
"Amimaya-san..."
"Where is she?! Where is my little Nadeshiko?!?!"
"Onegai... calm down, minna-san."
"SPEAK!"
"You're daughter is fine, Kinomoto-san. However... I'm afraid that her hope is the only one that is still pure at the moment, such is her sweet innocence."
If I smile and don't believe
9:14
White walls. Beep. Blur. Screaming.
"I'm sorry...."
"...iie..."
Mr. White-Coat shook his head, sadly. So many people were crying. 'Why is everyone crying?' Touya thought, not grasping the situation. Foreign words flooded in through one ear and out the other. "...'kaa-san..."
"It was an undetected tumour that could have acted at any time."
"Why would she not tell us?! Someone had to have known!! Someone should have known!!!"
Agonized screams and crying and feeble comforting.
More sad head-shakes.
"...okaa-san..."
"She has but an hour to live."
'...to live?'
"Two at most."
'...but... two hours isn't a long time...? Okaa-san? Where are you?'
"We were too late."
"...too...late...?"
"Gomen nasai. Truly, Kinomoto-san, Daidouji-san, Amimiya-san. All our prayers are with you, demo..."
...the silence was thick and heavy, the sadness overwhelming.
"...All we can do now is pray for a miracle..."
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
9:28
After the commotion was cleared up, the nurse allowed them to enter the ICU. Sakura was already there, her childish eyes glimmering with tears as she looked up and frowned slightly.
"tou-chan!!" Sakura whined, oblivious to the situation. "kaa-chan, sleepy! No wake... want to play!"
It was a heart-breaking scene as a crying Fujitaka lifted up his precious daughter and they all stared down at Kinomoto Nadeshiko, hooked up to more wires and machines and tubes then anyone would have liked. Little Sakura touched her chibi hands to her father's face and tried to wipe away his tears with her small hands.
"tou-chan... no cry...no hurt..."
It was really hard for her to understand.
Touya walked up to his mother's bedside and shook his head slowly, understanding slightly but not believing. "'Kaa-san?" He started, smiling shakily and trying to wake her up as he climbed up next to her.
"You can wake up now! I gotta tell you! You know? Right before the rain, I scored a goal? It was my first real goal ever!! And that time I was thinking, 'I'm gonna make my okaa-san proud!'"
By now everyone in the room was crying, Touuya included. Little Sakura's eyes even started to glaze over as her beloved nii-chan broke down and bawled, gripping his mother's hand as best as he could.
"...Touya-kun..." Fujitaka called out sadly and tried to put his free hand on his shoulder to bring him back, but Touya shrunk away and cuddled up to his mother.
"And it went in, 'kaa-san!" He whispered, brokenly. "It went in!!"
Don't try to fix me- I'm not broken!
9:53
"Nadeshiko..." Fujitaka whispered as her eyes opened slightly, revealing a sliver of their emerald radiance. The colour was now beginning to fade, an image that would forever haunt his memory.
"...Fujitaka..." Nadeshiko rasped quietly, struggling to lift her hand and hold his. He did so quickly and sat by her side, Touya holding little Sakura's hand as she sucked on her thumb- a habit provoked only when she was really scared.
"Sakura-chan, Touya-chan..." Nadeshiko smiled at her family lovingly, a smile that grew when she turned her head to see the rest of her family was there, in her final moments.
"...arigatou... minna..." she began to cough, her throat dry. She motioned them all closer and gave them all hugs and whispered reassuring words to them as best as she could.
"I love you all..." she kissed her husband and her two children.
"Gomen ne... for leaving... you... I'll miss... you." Her voice was becoming quieter. Sonomi stared helplessly at the nurse and doctor and grit her teeth when they shook their heads, sadly.
"Sonomi-chan?"
She looked back down and saw her beloved cousin smiling up at her, tiredly.
"Tomoyo-chan is very beautiful. She has your eyes..." her eyes slowly began to flutter, her breathing becoming shallow and more desperate.
"...smiles. This is what I want my last... memory to be.... of all my loved ones."
She smiled at them and they did their best to return it.
"Don't cry... you are never alone..." she whispered as she looked at them all, one last time.
"...you are never alone." Her eyes closed after resting on Touya's for a split second longer, as if she were directing the second reassurance to him. Silence filled the room as she exhaled, no one made a move as they waited for the inhale they knew would never come.
The doctor sighed sadly and looked at his watch, whispering quietly to the nurse. "Time of death: 10:03."
Hello, I'm the lie living for you when you can hide- don't cry.
He could still remember the shouts and screams of denial and disbelief.
His great-grandfather crying pitifully, hugging and restraining his mother's dearest cousin from her hysterical rampage. Her little daughter, Tomoyo, crying for those who were so consumed from grief around her.
The nurses pulling them slowly away as a white sheet slowly covered his mother's pale face, unblinking. Not breathing. His otou-san Fujitaka off to the side, dejectedly talking with the doctor, needing to keep up his responsibilities.
And little Sakura-kaijuu, tugging on his sleeve, whispering the few incoherent words she knew.
"kaa-san..."
"...sleeping..."
"kaa-san?"
"Wake up... onegai..."
He closed his eyes, shutting out all else, reality included. Falling down... fading away...
"OKAA-SAN!!!"
Suddenly, I know I'm not sleeping
A week later...
The solemn expression on the pastor's face was seen by all, through the cloudiness and the rain as the ceremony was slowly progressing to its inevitable end.
"Let us remember her beauty, her grace, her kindness... but above all else, take a moment to truly honour her love and selflessness to our community, friends, neighbours and especially towards her beloved family."
Various suppressed sobs and comforting words fluttered through the sea of the black-clad community, all who had come to say their final goodbyes to a beloved member of their small town in Tomoeda's lone cemetery.
"May we now call upon Kinomoto, Fujitaka-san, to grant us a few words..."
Hello, I'm still here...
"Who knew that what started out as a perfect day could end in such a horrible tragedy?" he heard his father murmur and shake his head, sadly, as they walked away from the grave and before the crowd. He inhaled with a shaky breath and began his eulogy, what was to him his final goodbye to his beloved Nadeshiko.
Kinomoto Touya merely stood there, bitterly aware of two voids that had opened: his mind trying to ignore the one, the endless hole that was impaling his heart while his eyes were trained on the second, shallow hole his mother's lifeless body was in.
All alone.
Never to be seen again...
...and never to see again.
Unknowingly, the tears were spilling out harder and silent sobs were racking through his body. His father was caught up with mourning neighbours and friends and failed to notice his son's state, not by fault, so consumed in both his grief and responsibilities.
It was little Sakura who had yet to comprehend the situation as Touya felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down to see his tearful kaijuu, looking up sorrowfully at her onii-chan.
"...nii-chan..." she began, sniffling. "Why 'kaa-san u-under t..there?" little Sakura struggled.
"...kaijuu...." Touya began, realizing how his sister might feel with all these new things being absorbed into her innocent mind.
She began to cry as well and hugged him as best as she could. "...'kaa-san is...not... find... h-home?"
He mustered up a small, sad smile and embraced his little sister, trying to be strong for both of them as he uttered that small sentence that triggered a scene that could break the hardest of hearts...
"Okaa-san can't be home anymore."
Brother and sister held each other tightly, crying for the beloved mother they lost.
...all that's left of yesterday...
/%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
"I still remember... Okaa-san's eyes faded away... and I remembered her. I could still see her... but I knew I wasn't supposed to be able to. And when I gave up my power... I knew I wouldn't see her again. It finally sunk in later that... pictures were all I had left. And then... otou-san..."
"Touya-kun..."
"I know, that if they were all still here... with me... they would tell me..."
"...you are never alone."
"But sometimes... it's just so hard... you know?"
"... I know."
A reassuring hand was placed on his shoulders as twenty-seven year old Kinomoto Touya turned sadly to Li Syaoran, currently twenty years of age. They had recently lost something very precious to them and because of that- nothing else would matter for a long time. Yet, as they looked upon the graves of Nadeshiko Amimaya Kinomoto, Fujitaka Kinomoto and a third, more recent one, they remembered that one day everything would be okay...
The cherry blossoms on the grave of Sakura Kinomoto Li seemed to rustle at those very words...
"Zettai daijoubu..."
The two figures walked off in the distance, their differences long forgotten. The rain had stopped, and the soft yet sure rays of the sun slowly seeped through the clouds once again.
"...Hello..."
Owari
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I'm practically crying already, thinking about this song! Meh, but I'm emotional, what can I say? There's also the fact that I have this crazy swollen finger (ironically enough, it's my middle finger) so I'm being all touchy because I'm in excruciating pain (IMO) and it is annoying me to no end- do you know how hard it is to type with this thing!? Yeesh... it's like twice its normal size! Anyway, I love this song... it's so beautiful. I know no one really writes about this scenario so it was a change for once, at least for me (although the ending you could probably tell was a little bit shabby). It would be nice for some feedback, so maybe I know if I can share something like this later in the future if I get another impulse to write something. Lately I find that this category is slowly dying and I really don't want that to happen... if you want everyone to keep writing you should all review! I'm guilty too, so I think I'll take the time to do that as well.
T. (Conspiratorial Omen)
-----------------------You are never alone.