Note: The Language the character Kamaria uses every so often is one I made up. Just random things from my brain...
Part One
Trial & Tribulation Chapter the First To Be; Again
Present
(Kamaria POV)
The things one does not say can sometimes be much more harmful than the things one says. This is a truth I learned from a one-time mistake I will never make again. I let my feelings hide in the dark for way too long, and then in one tragic day I came to believe they would never see the light. In loving someone so much I was afraid to tell him for fear of that love not being returned, but the worst feeling is having the chance to ever know be taken away.
It is having your heart ripped out while it is still beating and having to watch as they cut it into tiny pieces, spilling your very lifeblood into the unforgiving air.
I never told the boy I loved him. My friend. My confidante. My savior.
I always thought there would be more time. We were young and life was slow and simple. Then he was gone. It took only moments to steal my life away. I would never heal. The wound left in my soul from where he was cut was too deep. Even then when it had become a scar, pushed to the back of the mind to keep from going insane, it pained me.
Until the day we got hopeful news. Old friends bearing a most wondrous statement.
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This new revelation dawned in the morning while I was helping some other women with everyday chores. I didn't have many myself, being of this planet for only two years, give or take a few months, so it was easy to help others and keep up with my own things. I was just getting around to hanging some mats when the youthful voice of Ferran, the son of one of my neighbors, came loudly and clearly through the crowd.
He was calling my name and waving. "Kamaria! Kamaria! Someone is here to see you!"
Who would be here to see me? I had kept much to myself, minus the help I gave others here and there, since I had been left on my own. To my knowledge I didn't know anyone that was not of this planet. Wait… yes I did. But they wouldn't be here. Would they?
I excused myself, carefully pronouncing the words to ensure I said them properly. I weaved through the people until I reached Ferran. "What is it?" I inquired. "Who is here to see me?"
"This way!" He cried, leading me on, ignoring the question. He was excited about something.
With a small sigh I followed. Once Ferran became excited there was no chance of getting a straight answer from him. It was only when I saw the door to the small space I had taken as my own home that I realized where he was taking me. "Inside. I took them inside. That was okay wasn't it?" Ferran asked in that bouncy little way of his. I didn't know who it was yet, but I'm sure Ferran meant well, so I nodded.
"Thank you." I slipped one of the small coins from my pocket and handed it to him. When I first arrived on this planet I had no memory and the only thing they found on me was a note, and those coins. "Now go play. Or I'm sure your mother has some work for you." Naturally Ferran choice option A.
I smiled as I ducked inside my small hut. My smile was soon replaced with a look of confusion and surprise. "Colonel!" I cried.
Indeed, there stood Colonel Jack O'Neill from Earth, albeit impatiently. And then… "Daniel!" I grinned. "It is so nice to see you again… but if I may ask, what is the reason for this little visit?"
Jack shuffled his feet a little. "Daniel, it's your cue."
Daniel nodded. "Now, Kamaria, I don't want you to get your hopes up or anything, but I thought you would want to know this."
"This what?" I demanded intolerantly.
"Well…"
"Oh for cryin out loud! Just tell her we may be getting Skaara back!"
Skaara…back….oh, gods…
Everything was suddenly very fuzzy.
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"I want to come with you." I said. I wasn't going to back down. There was no way I was going to give up this chance to see him again, the one to whom my heart belonged. To the one who had saved my life, showed me what it meant to live again after unimaginable circumstances.
"I don't know if that would be a good idea." Daniel said uneasily. "I mean the Tollan only invited us. If we brought someone else then they might--"
"Let her come, Daniel. Both of us knows she deserves to." Jack intervened. It was to the Colonel that I had first professed my love for Skaara after he had been taken by the Goa'uld. I had been distraught. He had helped me get through the pain of my loss and had given me hope that perhaps I might once again see him to tell him myself how much I really cared for him.
"But, Jack…"
"Daniel…"
"Just tell them who I am. Explain to them why it is so important that I see him." I interjected. "If you fail…" My voice shook, "if you should fail then I will probably never get this chance again. I must go. Please, Daniel."
"All right." He conceded. "We should probably get back to Earth then and pick up Sam, Teal'c, and Narim."
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I had been to Earth once. That was when I traveled with Daniel after his wife, Sha're, and Skaara, had been taken. I really wasn't supposed to go, but I rushed through with them at the last second. Daniel had been angry for a while, but after he learned my reason he understood. He was going through the very same thing.
When we came through the small party of three were already waiting for us. I noticed the familiar face of Samantha Carter to whom I had become a bit of a friend to. "Sam." I smiled, addressing her in English.
"Kamaria?" She questioned. "You've changed."
I hadn't really realized it, but yes. I had changed since the last time she had seen me. Two years of growing from my mid-teenage years to a young woman. Drastic changes, mostly in mind, but a few in body. "How are you, jah-nee?" (jah-nee means friend)
"Well, and you?" She was looking at me worriedly. It was almost annoying how everyone else knew of my affliction of the heart but the most important one.
"Hopeful. Excited." I paused. "Frightened. It's been so long."
Jack: "Then let's head out."
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Tollana, from what I have been told, is a lot like Earth. Its main city is stuck beside a wooded area. When we came out of the wormhole I found myself awed by the beauty of the blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds amidst a horizon of very impressive buildings. "Oh my…"
"Looked better in the brochure." Jack joked, nudging me gently in the ribs. I had to smile. He was trying to keep me in a good mood, reassured that everything was all right. Although I could tell he was very worried himself about what the outcome of this trip was going to be.
The Tolan, Narim, led us through the corridors. We stopped briefly so Colonel O'Neill could argue about their weapons being disarmed, and then again when we learned the Goa'uld were going to be here also. I stepped behind Daniel and tried to stay out of sight. Goa'uld make me nervous, they scare me. I can't stand to be near them. Gods, I felt so terribly bad for Skaara. What he must have gone through…
We met with one of the high up members of the Tolan council and I began to get edgy. I didn't care about all these things they were talking about. I only wanted to see my friend again. I yanked on Jack's sleeve. "When do we get to see Skaara?" I asked in a low voice.
He shrugged but said, "soon, I think." I nodded. Good.
O'Neill was right. We were soon ushered through a new pair of doors. My heart stopped when I saw him. He was dressed differently and in a manner that I knew he would never choose. His hair had changed. But I knew it was him, and I couldn't speak.
Klorel addressed us first, throwing a few chosen lines at the Tau'ri. Then he was gone, the darkness and cruelty vanishing from his eyes. Skaara spoke, happy to once again see O'Neill and the others from Earth. I vaguely listened to Narim as he explained the device placed on his chest, but I could only think on why I was paralyzed. I had waited so long for this day and now I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I couldn't even breathe.
I felt the tears start falling from my eyes and when I raised my hand to wipe them away I knew I could once again move. I had been standing in the back of the group, peering through them, but now I stepped around them, still wiping my eyes. "Skaara…" My voice came out rough through a sudden sob.
He turned to me, surprised eyes meeting mine. I hadn't seen me. He hadn't expected me to come this far to see him probably. If only he knew I would travel the breadth of the universe to find him. "Kamaria…"
"Skaara, oh, I have missed you." I moved forward and threw my arms around him, burying my head against his neck. All I could do was cry. It was awful. I was supposed to happy about this… then again I was. Tears of joy I suppose. I pulled away to touch his face. "Are you all right? You are well, jah-ii?" (jah-ii means my love) Oh, I didn't say that. I hoped that he didn't remember what that meant. I had thought him bits and pieces of my native tongue and I could only pray he had forgotten.
Daniel, however, sniffed. He knew what I said. Keep your mouth shut, Daniel. I came to tell him how I felt, but not right now.
"I missed you, also." He replied, his smile banishing all the worry from my heart and replacing it with gladness. "You have changed."
I laughed nervously. "Yes, everyone has seemed to notice that." Oh, why did I feel like I blushing that he noticed. Of course he would notice. We were nearly inseparable for a year… well, most of that was because I would nothing to do with anyone else.
"A-hem." Daniel cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should talk about the Triad?"
It was agreed, although I really wanted to just tell everyone to go away so I could talk to Skaara alone, but I knew they needed to discuss the 'trial.' I didn't understand how the Tolan could even dare to put this issue on trial, but then again I didn't know the Tolan. I was told they weren't at war with the Goa'uld, but I couldn't see how they didn't see how evil they were. Couldn't they see in Skaara's eyes how much he had suffered, how much he was still suffering? Did anyone else but me notice? He acted like nothing much had changed, but I could sense it.
As they talked about the Triad I slipped my hand in his reassuringly as if to say we'd get him home. And we would… because I wasn't going to leave without him. Even if I had to go against everyone else we would be returning to where we belonged. Abydos. Together. How it should be.
Our time was cut short by the arrival of Klorel's defense. Zipacna.
I quickly, but reluctantly said goodbye to Skaara and stepped back at the light changed from blue to red. At least this time he was leaving me with a measure of hope in my heart.
This is the first part in aALS. The "present" I refer to is the time period in the season three episode "Pretense." The chapters will probably switch back and forth between the present and a time of three years before when Kamaria first came to Abydos and how she and Skaara became close.
Part Two of the story will be after they return to Abydos after the Triad.
Next Chapter: Three Years Prior. A Strange girl comes through the Chaapa'ai, an assassin in pursuit.