Blader Pachinko was having a high old time at das beach drinkin mai tai and tangtini and rum and rum and rum and rum and maybe some whiskey and some rum and a pina colada and a pina colada anda ruma ruma ruma ruma dang dong dong. She was glad to be having a break after all that blading! Hoboy! And what better place to have a break than at the beach with the rum and the mai tai and the maui wowie and the pina colada and the pokemans too I guess. Hot damn they are sprawled out all over dem beaches with dem bitches. Marape is all sweaty and shit poor marape. Xatu is serene and indifferent. Gloom is getting all the mens and ladies all over her junk. What a fucking hottie. Growlithe woffosfodkslfls OWFOOFWWOFOWOF WOOFWWOOFWOFOWOOOFOWWOOOF he dug a hole. In the ground. He dug it. he dog dug done so good dug a whole hole. Slowbro is slow. Cubone is chillin with the tacos upstairs. Murkrow is poopin on tourist heads. This is his hobby. Trainer Pachinko sometimes doesn't like to let him out because this is his hobby.
And who is down the beach but Rikku Roketto? Floating out of the ocean on her beach ball! Which is her whale! Her wail Her Wailmer! Sake-tan! God damn what a fucking whale. Ball.
I want to kick it. No. You cannot kick my Wailmer. Only I can kick that. And then she kicks him. She kicks him wailmer.
He flies he flies so far so good so fast looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again! Rikku Rocketto slaps down her sexy leather knee-high boots running her fingers up the sides then onto her exposed upper thigh. "Stupid pokemon getting in my way. He shouldn't have been there!" OH NO! WHAT A TERRIBLE ATTITUDE FOR A TRAINER TO HAVE!
Trainer Pachnko, looking up at the sky as she waited on her deepest of deep dark so dark dark like my soul tan to darken like one's soul might, watched as an extremely large beach ball flew overhead. "Oh me oh my what a large beach ball" But it wasn't a rock, it was a rock lobster! Waaa waaa aaaa aaaa aaa aaaa a aaaa ROCK LOBSTER DOWN NNN DOWNNNNN DOWNNNNNNN pluff it landed in the sanded. "woof woof" said Growlithe. "You're right, my fine feather-legged friend," Trainer Pachinko said,
"dayyumn that ain't no rock lobster or beach ball that's a pooo ooooookemon! I should catch it! It's unsafe to be a beached whale! I saw a documentary about that once. Plus I think that the Sinnoh region is actually Japan in disguise to entertain our suspension of disbelief for this video game and thus must have terrible whaling laws and violate many a rule!"
"STOP RIGHT THERE! THAT IS MY WHALE! YOU ARE TOUCHING MY WHALE.
MY WHALE MUST NOT BE TOUCHED BY ANYONE BUT ME." a single solitary tear dropped down wailmer's face, as he remembered the many times he had been touched by Rikku Rocketto. He is a sassy whale.
"YOURS?" Trainer Pachinko blared as only a prepubescent freshly trianed pokemon trainer jailbait fresh out of her hometown could.
"YOU CAN'T TREAT DEM NO WHALES DEM DAR WAYS WHAT IF THE LOCALS COOKED HER INTO WHALE STEW?" she screamed with the conviction of a child learning her beliefs and values and trying to prove that to eveyrone herself included. "DEM WHALES BRA!"
"It's. My. Whale. Don't touch it. Nobody's to touch my whale.
Unless it's me. But nobody else can touch it. OK? My whale loves me. Sake-tan Sake-tan loves me." She reaches over to recover her inflated beach ball and accidentally trips on psyduck who is clin-
ging to her leg. Psyduck faceplants into the dirt and starts to scream PSYYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYIYI but Lizu ingores his shrieks of pain and misery in favor of retrieving her Sake-tan and punting me again.
And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
"STOPPU! YOU ARE ABUSING THAT POKEMON!"
"I thought that's what you did with them."
"I THOUGHT THAT IS WHAT YOUR PARENTS DID TO YOU SICK BURN TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WITH POKEMON BECAUSE YOU ARE RETARDED BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS USED TO DO THAT TO YOU BUT ALSO BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY LEARNED IT FROM THEM AND IT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRULY YOUR FAULT I GUESS YOU ARE ONLY DOING WHAT YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU WAS AFFECTION BECAUSE THEY WERE YOUR CAREGIVVERS AND YOU HAD NO OTHER WAY OF KNOWING WHO OR WHAT WAS WRONG OR RIGHT BUT WE ARE RIGHT IN SAYING THAT YOU ARE WRONG TO TREAT HIM THAT WAY WE FIGHT FOR TRUTH AND JUSTICE!"
"Do you know what I fight for? ...Misery." So Anti Rocketto proceeds to pick up her psyduck out of the sand and shake it off and screams at the top of her lungs: ANXIETY DAWWWWWWWG!! From behind a rock somewhere Anxiety Dog scampers over to the group looking like it's about to piss itself BUT STILL VERY ANGRY. I drop psyduck on his head and reach my arms up to allow anxiety dog to jump into them.
She then asks if I want to battle while attempting to coddle her dog who looks fearful of my life.
OK THEN WE WILL FIGHT YOU SAYS TRAINER PACHINKO ALL ON ALL I DON'T HAVE THE ATTNETION SPAN O DO THEM ONE AT A TIME
"I do," says Gloom. "I have the attention span to do all of them."
silently. under her breath. No one heard.
Well I guess I will choose wailmer first since he's a useless piece of shit I punded the giant whale into the middle of the makeshift arena and he kind of sat there with a stupid look on his face though he seemed to have tears running down his face stupid face stupid tears
OK Trainer Pachinko says to all of ehr pokemon do whatever the fak you want except for you Xatu you are coming with me I have 7 pokemon here and I can only have 6 so you are going to get me a bahama mama and a pina colada and bring them back to me I need to take the edge off and have a low-stress battle. My friend my rape marape you may enter firght. I am so sorry for your lots.
"OK SAKE-TAN!! USE SURF!"
The water of the arena suddenly hightened. To an immeasurable volume.
It's hard to swim in roller blades. Marape was uh completely submerged in water.
"Baaaah!"
"Buhhh Marape! Marape!! Do that discharge one like the electric fluid secretuion SDISCHARGE! DO IT! DO IT!" Marape electricked the entire stadium that's what that does it hits eveyrthing including anyone in the arena everything even your friends if that's what the arena says.
"Whailmer use brine" that means my attack has gone down to half
nt attck has gone down to hafl my attack has gone down to hafl means my attack has gone down to half means my tacck has gonedown to half don't heffle my weeffle
"Uh Marape just selectricute everyhting."
aaaaaaaaaaa aa a a a a a a a
"Oh thanks for the drink Xatu hey do you want one too Rikku Rocketto"
"Well I'm an alcoholic and I really shouldn't but of course got any vodka"
"No I got a bahama mama and a ina colada ok you can have mama."
gloom walks into the now-empty battlefield
"What?" Trainere Pachinko says, "I thought we had resolved our differences we don't need to fight."
"I'm going to steal your pokemon" Anti said, "in particular, your.
.
.
.
your growlithe. It makes the perfect mate for my anxiety dog.
I've already seen them humping. I couldn't help but notice the attraction there. You couldn't let yourself get in between true love could you?"
BP looked over at growlithe who was indeed being humped by anxiety dog and loving the shit out of it. Oh man humans could never know this love.
"Well shit I love love I guess I can't stop that but maybe you should have like joint custody or something you know maybe like not steal my pokemon. K?"
"no their puppies will sell at a great value on the black market."
Gloom walked up towards us and out of the arena. "Rikku RockettO?"
she says.
"What th ehell is this?"
"I want you inside of me."
"Join my team and I will fulfill your greatest desires."
"Oh." Gloom rolled over onto her back spread out her legs.
Gloom used absorb!! Gloom absorbed Rikku Rocketto.
"you inside me!!!"
"This is kind of disgusting."
Trainer Pachinko stops for a second. "I think we should pretend this whole thing neer happened this is like some kind of fuckingg orgy shit with liek the humping and the absorbing and you know like the whale and marape's all touching himself and did you say cubone?
"yes my cubone crack is very lonely"
"crack meet boner."
"Cubone love makes no mistakes"
"Oh god now everything is humping."
"Let's get drunk."
"I'm worried that you might molest me. Thankfully my swabloo is unmolested."
Just then, Murkrow molests swabloo he is bitter and likes to poop on things he poops on swabloo.
Swabloo sang sang sang gently lullabye to rest to Murkrow who fell asleep and humped softly in his sleep.
And then swabloo decided HE wanted to be on top and violated Murkrow in his sleep. Hodgekrow watched the whole thing and fapped.
"Have you seen anxiety dog recently? Where did he and growlithe run off to?"
"Oh look they are having sex on the beach. I feel maybe we should join them. I ahve always wnted sex on the beach."
"well there i sa minor problem there you would have to be a lesbian or into beastiality as there are no other potential participants"
Traier Pachinko smiled softly, "I am bisexual! And anything can be accomplished through love and friendship!" she took Anti's ungloomed hand in hers.
Rikku Rocketto frowned, looked at the ground as though terrified and how had she not run away yet? She knew all roads lead to rape, but was unsure which path would be easiest.
she had simply wanted to battle her rival. How did it get to this point.
It was all wailmer's fault.