A/N- Just watched swan song and this is my take on the awesome elevator scene, honestly I would have like to have seen more of the foursome in there but I liked the episode, freaked out like all hell when I didn't see Ziva at the beginning, I was trying to frantically reason that they wouldn't kill her, but then again, there wasn't any warning when they killed Kate.
So here I go.

Ziva was crying.

Ziva was crying.

Ziva didn't cry, sure she let loose a bit of moisture occasionally, but she didn't actually cry.

She hadn't cried when Jenny died, she hadn't cried when Rivkin died, they'd barely seen one tear run down her cheek when they'd rescued her from Somalia for crying out loud.

Excuse the pun.

And now she was standing next to him in the elevator looking like she was about to start bawling her eyes out like a woman.

And boy did that freak Tony out.

He'd wanted her to be the strong one. The cold, efficient Ziva whose hard-heartedness would shock the team back to fast, brilliant work and whom they could all forgive later because, hey it was Ziva, she'd been born that way- there was rock formations with more emotion than this woman.

Except rock formations crumbled, weakened over time by the elements and meddling of humankind, and it appeared that Ziva despite her presentation of a strong front had been losing bits and pieces of her structure until Tony didn't even know what to do with the woman in front of him.

The hurt, vulnerable human woman that Tony had no idea how to comfort.

But she opened her mouth and spoke, her voice fraught with distress

"There is always another monster"

Truer words were never spoken. They were standing atop a dung heap working frantically to clear the crap, but every day another pile was dumped on them and they had to start again. It was exhausting, heart-breaking work and they never had any real proof that they were making a difference to the outside world.

Haswari, Chip Sterling, Mamoun Sharif, Ted Bankston, La Grenouille, Salim Ulman, Colonel Bell, Pedro Hernadez' kids. To name a few of the monsters that'd crawled out of the woodwork and pointed their caps at them. They were the memorable ones but Tony knew that the list would only grow over time.

He'd have to remember to add Jacob Cobb to that list.

He answered her in the affirmative and apparently his cautious step through this landmine riddled new territory was the right one because she continued talking.

"I mean, we pursue them, but we just keep making targets of ourselves"

True. They were targets alright. Gibbs had finally put a lock on his front door. Abby had to inform one of them whenever she left NCIS or her house, McGee was too terrified to write another book, Tony had a list of people whom he had to get restraining orders against if they ever got out of prison and Ziva...hell her list of enemies, well her list of enemies whose current addresses weren't six feet underground had to be longer than his.

He liked to think it meant they were just really, really good at their jobs. But to be honest, the targets on their backs might as well be twelve stories high with flashing lights and fireworks attached, it was a wonder they could go out for coffee without risking a sniper bullet.

"Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it" He points out, better them stabbed in the heart than some innocent father, or wife, or kid who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Except he remembered that Ziva hadn't signed up for it, she'd been born into a life of violence and bloodshed, brainwashed to the point where she'd walked single-handed into a terrorist training camp and it had taken three months of hell and a plan that had been idiotic beyond belief to make her consider a life outside Mossad.

She doesn't mention this, even now Tony can see the remnants of her father's control over her, squeezing her mind like tiny octopus arms, leaving their imprints on her brain.

Of course she'd signed up for this life. The fact that she'd signed her life away on the way out the door to her high school dance didn't even faze her.

Two roads diverged in the woods and Israel had probably dropped a nuclear missile on the other one just to make sure she'd choose the 'right' path.

And the second time, her options had been given to her as she'd stood in Vance's office in the same clothes she'd worn for three months, still covered in dirt and grime and so weak Gibbs had had to help her hold the fricking pen.

Her life had never even been her own.

Tony didn't know if it ever would. Maybe once she retired, when her father had died and the world no longer had an interest in her abilities to kill a roomful of armed guards with her bare hands.

Hopefully.

"I don't think I can take anymore"

Crap, Ziva really was in a bad place. Sure they all had bad days; they all wondered the exact same thing, but to actually say the words out loud meant that you were honestly questioning your career path.

And Ziva couldn't afford to look into that too deeply. She'd got into NCIS and America by the skin of her teeth. Tony had had to make a lot of calls and pull a lot of favours to even get her case looked at considering her name preceded her,

With the names of the dozens of people she'd killed and the crimes she'd committed.

Okay, fine, the actions she'd committed in the name of Israel but to be honest, a rose by any other name was still a goddamn overpriced flower. Point was, she was a hell of a hiring risk and CIA assassin aside; there wasn't a decent legal job in America she would be qualified for.

She'd chosen Mossad internship over college degree for crying out loud. He wasn't even one hundred percent sure she'd bothered finishing high school.

You didn't need to know the historical context of classical literature to be able to aim a gun at a guy's head after all.

He couldn't let her do this. If she went down this road too quickly, he wouldn't be able to pull her back; she'd be clearing out her desk before he could even find Gibbs to administer a reason filling head-slap.

And considering the state Gibbs was currently in, his head-slaps might be lacking their usual power, like after Kate died and his nice manners had nearly torn the team apart.

Tony had been there then and he was here today and the only difference was that he now had experience dealing with the shattered team.

Hell he'd had enough chances to hone his skills over the years.

So he reaches out slowly, in case the Ziva he's known for the last seven years suddenly resurfaces with the overwhelming urge to disembowel him for his attempt at affection, and instead of the expected protest, she steps into his embrace, pressing her head to his shoulder and her breath warming his collar bone.

Last time they showed each other affection he was still clearing the sand from his hair and he's pretty damn sure she was still throwing back the pain killers and testing her rope scarred wrists.

But he has to sacrifice this nice moment of awkwardness to make sure Ziva doesn't go running to the classifieds with a red pen and a dozen printed resumes.

So he releases her and makes sure she looks into his eyes,

Hey," he whispers softly, hoping his words will reach her "we're gonna get him, ok?"

For some insane, mythical reason, she seems to believe this despite the near insurmountable odds stacked against them and manages a tired, weak smile to show him that despite his not having a clue as to what he is doing, his attempt to help worked.

He cups her wet, smudged face in his palm and finds it easy to love her in that moment.

But like all their tender moments together, it's broken by the sound of the elevator doors opening and they look out to find Abby and McGee hugging for all it was worth.

They realise quickly they have an audience, Abby raises her head and watches them timidly, one wrong comment right now would probably break the woman right now.

Thankfully bringing McGee and Abby back from the brink is something Tony is familiar with, so he knows to release one arm from Ziva's waist and hold it out to Tim.

"Bring it in" he orders and the four of them gather in the elevator, forming a tight little circle and pressing their heads together as the doors close. Ziva resumes weeping and a second later Abby joins her. Tim is miraculously dry-eyed but Tony reckons that the by-product of growing up on a naval base. Hell, he's pretty sure he would be crying himself if he hadn't spent his teenage years at the military academy and been taught that tears in men's eyes was equivalent to getting a sex change.

Chauvinistic but he hadn't been the one giving the lessons.

So taking a moment to be thankful that Vance never did follow through on his threat to put cameras in the elevator, the four of them find solace from the cruel world that seemed intent on shattering their souls beyond the point of repair.