a/n: so i was watching "hercules" and became inspired by a line. ten points and cyber-cupcakes to whoever figures out what line. it's in the story. i wrote this at like midnight, so cut me a little slack.

i'm not really sure when this takes place. i mean i do, but i'm not really sure what's happening in this universe. it honestly doesn't really matter.

it's all a little OOC and pretty, well not exactly fluff, but it's sappy, but it begged to be written, so i did.

disclaimer: no one in this story is mine unfortunately.

oh and a little note, the italics at the beginning and end are a voice over. if you want meredith to be saying it then meredith's saying it. if you want some random guy on the street to be saying it, some random guy on the street's saying it. if you want me to be saying it, then i'm saying it. you get the point.

Disaster: Noun, a tragedy or catastrophe. No one likes to hear the word coupled with themselves. No one wants to be a disaster. No one wants to be in a disaster. Disasters bring trouble and sadness and just generally bad things.

It all started with a bus. Actually, if you want to get really technical, it started with a couple of steamy glances. Or you could go back even further and say that it started with an affair or even the invention of automobiles. But the whole mess started with a bus.

It was a Thursday. Benny drove the bus on Thursdays. He took people where they needed to be, past the Space Needle, past Mercy West, past Seattle Grace. Past the bay and the Archfield.

The bus was no more crowded than any other Thursday. But on every other Thursday he didn't have unfocused red-headed women stepping out into his path. On normal Thursdays, he didn't hit the man who shoved her out of the way.

0ooo0

Addison was spacey. She was supposed to be moving to L.A. in a week and she still had nearly all her packing to do. She had a million things to do besides packing. She had interns to teach. She had feelings for a certain intern to worry about. She didn't need three bazillion pregnant women and their children to worry about as well.

Needless to say, she was a little distracted. She didn't hear or see the bus coming until the driver honked his horn and by then it was too late to do anything. Even if she could have done anything, she was frozen to the spot.

When asked about it later, she would talk about her "out of body experience". From somewhere above her head she watched as the driver slammed on his brakes. She was yanked back to her body when someone picked her up and shoved her out of the way. The first thing she heard when she was "back" was the squeal of brakes and the crunch of bone. Then she heard someone yelling about calling 911.

She looked up. The bus was stopped, the driver out calling 911. Traffic was stopped, but there had just been a pretty big accident, what else could be expected? There was blood everywhere, but she was a surgeon, she was used to it. In fact, the only issue she had with the scene was the fact that that blood was pooling from Alex Karev.

0ooo0

Alex wasn't sure what had made him do it. Actually, that wasn't specifically true, he did, he just had yet to voice it, or even admit it to himself. All he knew was that one moment he was checking her out as she walked away, the next he was flinging her onto the sidewalk to safety. Then things went dark.

0ooo0

Addison was hyperventilating. Someone had asked if she was okay. She looked at Alex's unmoving body and suddenly her breathing was all weird and someone was shoving their lunch bag into her hands for her to breathe into.

The second she got her breathing under control she started to move over to Alex. "Sh-should you be moving?" some do-gooder asked.

"I'm fine, goddamn it! Get out of my way!" she shrieked and scrambled to Alex's side. She cradled his head in her lap and only became aware of her tears when they started to wash away some of the blood on his face. He was breathing, that was a good thing, and he had a pulse. Not a strong one, but a pulse is a pulse. "Don't you dare die on me, Alex Karev, don't you dare," she whispered fiercely.

0ooo0

Alex was sure he was dreaming. At least he was in that weird half stage between sleep and awareness. Everything was a little cloudy and things seemed to move like molasses. He looked down on his body and saw Addison with his head in his lap, crying. He was vaguely aware of her talking. "Don't you dare die on me, Alex Karev, don't you dare," she kept repeating. Well, lucky for her he had no intention of doing so.

0ooo0

It might have been five minutes, or maybe it was hours, but at some point Addison became aware of sirens. The EMTs had arrived.

"Uh, ma'am?" one man asked cautiously.

Some switch in Addison's brain flipped. "Alex Karev," she said. "Twenty-eight year old male. I don't know how long he's been unconscious. Take him to Seattle Grace," she ordered.

"Ma'am, are you his wife? Do you want to come?"

"I'm not his wife," she said. "I'm just a friend. But yeah, I want to come."

0ooo0

Alex was back in that out of body limbo. He watched as Addison took charge, as his body was lifted onto a stretcher and then into the ambulance. He watched Addison climb in after they had put him in. He watched her grab his hand. "Come on, Alex," she whispered, tears rolling down her face again. "You can do this. You're too stubborn to die."

And he was.

0ooo0

She was too focused on holding his hand to notice what the EMTs were doing. She was muttering encouragement when he regained consciousness. She only noticed that he did because he squeezed her hand. "Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi," he croaked back.

"You're awake."

"Uh-huh."

"Why'd you do that?" she asked. "You saved my life. Why'd you do it?"

"People do crazy things," he replied. "When they're in love." Then unconsciousness reclaimed him.

0ooo0

There, he had said it. He had admitted the reason he had jumped in front of a bus for her. Why he annoyed her on purpose. Why he had said he wasn't interested. Because he didn't want to hurt her. He was too afraid of the possibility that he might become like his father, too afraid that he might hit her, to get involved. Because he couldn't hurt her, couldn't even put her in danger of being hurt. So he lied. But he figured that if he was going to die, then he should die with her knowing.

0ooo0

Addison stared in shock at the unconscious man who had just claimed to be in love with her. "Alex Karev, you do not get to tell me something like that and then die," she informed him. "You are not allowed to tell me something like that and then die. I will kill you if you die. I will bring you back from the dead just so that I can kill you myself. You do not get to die and wriggle your way out of explaining. You are not allowed to die. So don't you dare think about it."

One of the EMTs said, "Ma'am, we're here."

The first thing Addison saw when the doors opened was Bailey. "Addison?" she asked, taking in Addison's tearstained face and bloodstained clothes.

"It's Alex," she replied. "Alex Karev. He- he jumped in front of a bus."

"Lord, what a fool," Bailey muttered.

"He- he saved my life. He did it to save me. Miranda, you have to save him. You have to!"

"I'm gonna do everything I can, okay?"

"Okay."

"In the meantime, that's a nasty cut on your forehead. Stevens, come look at Dr. Montgomery's forehead."

Addison sat down on a bed in the ER. Izzie started to examine her forehead. They were silent for a minute. "What happened?" Izzie finally asked.

"He- he jumped in front of a bus to save me," Addison said. All she could think about was how surreal it all was.

"Who did?" Izzie asked, cleaning Addison's forehead. She had been in the furthest wing of the hospital and hadn't been there when Alex was taken into the trauma wing.

"A- Alex."

"Karev?" Izzie stopped and stared. "Alex Karev?" Addison nodded. "Oh my God, is he okay?"

"I don't- I don't know."

"I'm going to find out what's going on. Your forehead's fine, by the way, the cut's not deep enough for stitches but you might want to get checked for any internal injuries."

"I'm coming with you," Addison announced.

"You really should-"

"I am coming with you, Dr. Stevens," Addison repeated in her best "do not question me" voice.

"Fine."

Together the two women found the trauma room that Alex was in. It wasn't hard, Meredith, George, and Christina were standing outside. Addison glanced in the window and saw Derek, Callie, Miranda, and Richard inside. She looked at Alex's face again and fought back tears, feeling guilty about being the cause of it all.

"They won't let us in," Meredith told Izzie. "We're too close to the situation."

"I wonder what happened," Christina said. Everyone turned to Addison who finally snapped.

"Yes, I'm the cause he's lying in there now. If I hadn't been so damn spacey then I never would have stepped out into the street and he wouldn't have had to push me out of the way. It's my fault. If you want someone to blame, blame me, okay? It's all my fault." Her voice cracked on the last fault and she burst into tears. Everyone looked uncomfortable and no one was sure what to do. Finally Izzie put her arms around the sobbing surgeon. Meredith put an arm around Addison's shoulders.

"I'm scared," Izzie admitted.

"Me too," Meredith added.

"I'm the foremost neonatal surgeon in the country," Addison wailed, off in her own little grief-stricken world. "And there's not a damn thing I can do to help him! There's not a damn thing."

"That's not true," Bailey said from the door, "You can be there for him. He's alert for now, does one of you want to see him?" Meredith and Izzie pushed Addison forward. "Addison?"

"O-okay." She walked into the room, vaguely aware of everyone's eyes on her, but focused on him. "Hey," she said softly. He smiled. "Thank you," she said. "For, um, everything. But you can't die, okay? Please don't die."

"I won't," he replied.

Bailey cleared her throat. "We need to take him for his MRI and CAT scans now. Addison are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Addison said. "I am."

0ooo0

After what seemed like hours of waiting Callie finally approached Addison and the interns. "He's going to be okay," she said. Addison jumped up and hugged her. "He broke his left femur in two places and sprained his ankle pretty badly. He also broke his tibia and his wrist. The good news is that there wasn't any lasting damage to the spinal cord or the brain. He cracked his skull open, but no bleeding in his brain or anything. He got really lucky."

"Yeah," Addison agreed.

"Do you want me to come get you when he's awake?" Callie asked. Addison nodded. "Okay. I'll be back."

Addison stayed calm until she started thinking. It was one thing to tell someone you love them when you think you're dying, it's quite another to have to face what you said when you thought you were dying when you're very much alive. She started wondering if it would make you more truthful or less.

She lost herself in contemplation and that made the hours pass quicker. Finally Callie came and got her. They walked in silence, apprehension and what was almost fear building in Addison's stomach, blocking her vocal chords, making it impossible to speak.

They reached his room. Callie smiled at her, squeezed her hand, and discreetly disappeared. Addison inhaled deeply and entered the room.

He looked much better than the last time she had seen him. He was cleaner and the blood on his face was gone. Still, it was weird to see him lying in a hospital bed.

They stared at each other for a minute, waiting for the other to say something. Finally Addison asked, "Did you mean it?" just as Alex blurted, "I love you."

Addison's face lit up and Alex smile-grimaced at her. Izzie, Meredith, Christina, and George walked in. Addison looked over, barely registered them, then walked over to the bed and kissed him. Everyone save Alex stared at her in shock. When she pulled back Alex asked, "Care to explain?"

"People do crazy things," she explained, repeating his words verbatim, "When they're in love."

Sometimes though, sometimes, if we're lucky enough, disasters bring about miracles. They bring out the good in people, the compassion, the care. Sometimes they bring people together. Sometimes they save us.

i'd love to hear thoughts!

-Lauren