Warnings: AU, Slash (Stone Cold Steve Austin/CM Punk), Fluff, Smut, Side-Fic to Year of Silence.
The Ranch house is quiet, surprisingly so, but for a change Steve doesn't mind. Quiet is exactly how he'd wanted it for a few days. Over the last couple of years, it's always been full of people, and he wants a few days of silence, a few days of nostalgia. Phil's coming down, or over really, there's not too much down for him to come now that he's in University. He visits often, but it's not the same as him being there, and Steve wants a few days of just them being together. They've been dating for a while now, and it's been nerve-wracking, but glorious. He's sure he'd not been this nervous when he'd been dating his wife, but she'd been his age, she'd been a woman, she'd been a conventional person for him to date. Phil's none of those things, but he'll deal with the age-gap, he'll deal with Phil being male, he'll deal with unconventional, because Phil is very much the only person Steve wants to date, the only person Steve wants.
"It's quiet..." Phil's voice is a surprise. He'd not heard his beat up little car pull up the drive. Hershey, in her advanced years isn't as sharp as she once was, but as soon as she hears Phil, she's up and on him, licking his face when he stoops down to greet her.
"There's no one here." Steve stands from his seat at the kitchen table, patiently waiting for Phil's attention to shift from the dog to him.
"Where are they all? I was kind of looking forward to meeting the new batch." Phil finally looks up from Hershey, his gaze finally on Steve. Those too big, too green eyes are soft with an expression Steve knows is love.
"They'll be here next week. The Owl'll be back from the nice daughter's then too." Steve comes over, carefully stepping around the still wiggling happily Hershey, and wraps Phil up in a hug. "I wanted you all to myself for a week, so I cleared the place out." He kisses Phil's temple, then tilts his face up slightly to kiss him properly. "It's not been just us in forever." Steve smiles, and Phil grins at him, a big bright almost ridiculous grin.
"Me and you for a week?" He pecks Steve on the nose, looking beyond pleased with this prospect. "What will we do with ourselves?" He laughs, and snuggles up closer, a happy little noise escaping him when Steve's arms tighten about his waist.
"We're going fishing." Steve kisses Phil's hair. "C'mon, dump your stuff in our room; only take what you'll need for camping." Steve lets Phil go, smirking at the dumbfounded expression on his face. "What? C'mon, daylight's a-wasting, Punkster." Phil rolls his eyes, and leaves the kitchen muttering under his breath, Hershey hot on his heels.
They spend the day fishing. It's a nice little reminder of times long gone. The little boat has borne witness to many conversations between them. Whilst many uncomfortable moments have been had in the boat, just as many pleasant ones have been shared in it. It's always good to get out on it, but Phil seems highly putout at being on the lake. Steve's entirely certain he knows why, but he has a plan, and he intends to stick to it. He made a promise to Phil years ago, and he intends to keep it tonight.
The water lapping at the shore, the crackling of the fire, and the chirping of the crickets is all there is to be heard. Phil's sitting staring into the flames, his eyes distant, and Steve's watching him more than the marshmallow he's toasting on a stick.
"You're gonna burn it." Phil laughs, and Steve glances down at his roasting candy. One side is a little crisp, but the rest looks okay.
"Here." Steve hands the stick over to Phil, biting back a smile, when Phil moves to sit by him, snuggling up at Steve's side. "So... You're heading into your last year of school."
"Yup." Phil delicately nibbles at the marshmallow, cautious of the heat of the melting sugar. "Then, I get to try and find a job." Phil laughs softly, and Steve presses a kiss to his hair.
"Gonna have to get a haircut, and take out the piercings for that." Steve smiles slightly, and Phil glares at him. "What? I'm gonna miss them, especially that little ball in your tongue... Real interesting kissing you with that, but ain't no school gonna consider hiring you looking like the scruffy punk you are." Steve slides his hand into Phil's hair, curving it to the shape of his skull, and drawing him closer. As Phil's matured, as he's become a man, kissing him has only gotten better. The slight edge of wrongness that had been there has faded to nothing, leaving in its place nothing but a sense of comforting perfection.
"I'd say you had a point, if I didn't already have something lined up." Phil sounds breathlessly smug when Steve breaks the kiss to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "The Owl hooked me up with something at the high school in town." He grins at Steve.
"Nepotism at it's finest." Steve laughs, pressing a quick kiss to Phil's lips.
"Yup... So how come we're out here? I mean fishing is always nice, but camping? There's a perfectly good bed back home, and we're out here with rocks and bugs." Phil snuggles a little closer to Steve, cuddling close despite the warm air.
"You don't remember?" Steve squeezes Phil's shoulder lightly, and then spears another marshmallow on a stick, holding it close to the flames.
"Remember?" Phil spears a marshmallow on his own stick, and starts roasting it.
"A good four, maybe five years ago I promised to take you back here, and kiss you under the full moon." Steve jerks his head up to the round fat moon above them, and Phil laughs, a rarely seen these days blush creeping over his cheeks.
"I'd forgotten about that... Jesus, I was weird when I was younger." He laughs again, and Steve nods absently, taking a careful nibble of his roasted marshmallow. "You remembered though, huh?"
"I did... I remember all of the promises I make to you, Punkster." Steve smiles over at the deepening blush on Phil's cheeks. It's far harder to make him blush these days, but Steve enjoys it no less, if anything he enjoys it all the more for having to work for it.
"Hmm... So do I get my kiss now, or do I gotta be in the water? Cause you know, no swimming till an hour after eating." Phil finishes the marshmallow on his stick, and props it up carefully.
"Well... I guess you'll just have to wait an hour." Steve pulls him closer, letting Phil's head rest on his shoulder.
"Pff... One or two marshmallows ain't gonna kill me." Phil laughs, and pulls away from Steve. He tugs his shirt over his head, and tosses it into the back of the truck, along with the rest of his clothes. "You coming?" Steve nods, and comes over to the now naked Phil.
"Yeah, lemme grab a towel first." Steve cups Phil's cheek, and places a soft kiss to his lips, before trails his hand down Phil's throat. His hand continues down, then around Phil's waist to rest on his ass. His eyes drift closed, a little shiver passing through him despite the warmth of the air.
"Okay." Phil's voice is slightly wispy, and he brushes past Steve, slipping into the cool lake with a low moan. "It's much cooler in here." He calls, and Steve shakes his head, setting a pair of towels on the log they'd just left, and stripping his clothes off quickly.
"Ah... This is much better." Steve mumbles as the cool water laps around his body, contrasting with the almost sticky temperature of the evening.
"I told you." Phil grins as he swims over to Steve. There's a lazy smile on his face, and he dives under the water, catching Steve's ankle, pulling him under the surface. When they both break the water's surface once more, Steve catches Phil's waist, pulling him close.
"I love you." Steve smiles, and brushes the wet strands of hair back from Phil's face. I love you is about the only thing that guarantees a blush on Phil's face, and Steve's careful to not over use it. He wants Phil to know, but he doesn't want to lose the ability to send the blood rushing to Phil's cheeks. He barely has the chance to open his mouth to respond to Steve's declaration of love before Steve kisses him, moving them closer to shore as he does, stopping once their feet can properly reach the bottom of the lake.
"I love you too." Phil leans in for another kiss, and Steve indulges him, lets him take full control of it for a change. More often than not Phil is more inclined to be kissed than to kiss, there's a part of him that craves protection, that craves being looked after, and there's more than a part of Steve that adores being able to give those things to him, being trusted by sweet, delicate, damaged but fully repaired, Phil is the greatest honour Steve has ever received.
"So... When you're done with school, you're coming home then?" Steve asks suddenly, and Phil barks a laugh. "What? I was just checking." Steve mutters, and Phil kisses Steve's forehead.
"You're an idiot... Of course I'm coming home... Honestly, you think I took all those child psychology classes for the good of my health? I wanna help our kids properly." Phil grins, and Steve strokes the skin of his waist, shivering as the cool water laps around his chest.
"Our kids?" Steve murmurs, nipping lightly on Phil's neck.
"Uh-huh... I'm being evaluated... It's... Interesting, but Jim's confident it'll be fine." He moans softly, and Steve nips a little harder at his throat. "We gonna go further this time?" Phil asks softly, his hips rocking against Steve's, the water letting their cocks slide against each other easily.
"In the lake?" Steve asks, a hint of incredulous indignation creeping into his voice. He's entirely certain that the first time they go all the way shouldn't be in the lake.
"What? No." Phil laughs softly, and pulls away, swimming to the shore, then bundling himself up in a towel. "I brought lube!" He shouts to Steve, and Steve sinks beneath the surface of the water rather than answer that shouted comment. He heads for the shore, and finds himself with an armful of enthusiastic Phil before he's fully out of the lake. "I've been waiting years, and whilst this isn't the exact location I'd thought of, it's more than good enough." Phil's grinning when he breaks the kiss, a strange grin that's verging on manic, his eyes bright and deep in the pale moonlight.
"You'd planned this?" Steve asks softly, his hands framing Phil's face, his eyes lingering over his features. He'd always thought that Phil would be breath taking when he was fully-grown, and he wasn't disappointed. He's matured into his features, but his eyes are still a little too big, a little too expressive, a little too captivating.
"Not this exactly, but I've been a damn good boy, Steve... Been waiting years for this." Phil's thin fingers stroke over Steve's baldhead, then settle on the back of his neck, drawing him in for a kiss. "I said eighteen, and I'm nearly fucking twenty-two... If I didn't do a little planning we'd be waiting forever." Phil laughs softly as Steve kisses down his throat.
"No harm in taking things slow, Punkster." He murmurs, nipping at the side of Phil's neck. "No harm in making sure you're ready, in making sure we're not rushing things."
"Tectonic plates move faster than us." Phil moans, his head tilting to give Steve better access to his throat. "I've been waiting for you to make a move forever." His hands move to knead at Steve's bare shoulders, his fingers digging into the slightly tense muscles, making them pliant under his gently firm touch.
"You're still young, I-"
"I'm always going to be young, Steve." Phil scoffs, and Steve nods, a slight smile on his lips. It's true, very true, Phil will always be young compared to Steve, but he'd definitely not a child anymore. The body in Steve's arms is that of a man, the body that's been in his arms has been a man's for years now, but he's still held off on going further. There's still a part of him that remembers Phil as nothing more than hair and eyes, hauntingly inescapable eyes that still dominate his dreams. "Either that's something you can handle, or it isn't... I mean, I don't want to put pressure on you... I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but-"
"I can handle you being young. I'm just worried that you can't handle me being old." Steve laughs, and Phil snorts dismissively.
"Now many times have I told you I want a man, Steve? How many times have I said I want you? Do I have to repeat myself again?" There's a fond, if exasperated smile on Phil's lips, the sort of smile that Steve would be happy to see every day for the rest of his life.
"What? Sorry... I'm an old man, got bad hearing." Steve laughs, trying to shuffle them closer to the tent. It's not much more comfortable, but at least there's something without twigs and mud to lay down on in there
"Steve... I want you. I want you to-" Phil stalls as though he's trying to think how to phrase what he wants, and Steve keeps walking them backwards, snagging the lube bottle from where Phil had left it on top of the pile of clothes in the truck, guiding him to lay on his back inside the tent.
"You want me to what?" He settles between Phil's spread legs, and considers the body laid out before him. Phil's a little on the skinny side, still a little lanky, but Steve's convinced that's down to too much studying, and not enough cookies. Once Phil's home permanently he'll find the perfect weight, though Steve really might have to consider getting some weights in the basement to work off the inevitable cookie pounds.
"I want you to... You really want me to say this, Steve?" Phil's blushing, looking away, fidgeting slightly, one leg rolling from side to side on its heel.
"I need to hear you say it, Phil... I need to know I've not pushed you into this." Steve can't look at him, can't bear to see the exasperate that'll be in Phil's expression, because he still can't help but worry about forcing Phil, can't help but worry that Phil's fragile, he's delicate, he's been broken, and there's a part of Steve that worries those wounds didn't heal strong.
"I want you to... I don't know how to phrase this, Steve." Phil laughs, exasperation colouring his tone. "I don't want to say fuck me, because it's not gonna be a fuck. I know you. You're never gonna fuck me, even if I wanted you to." Phil laughs, and Steve smiles down at him, stroking over his chest, gently tweaking one nipple. "Make love to me is too twee... I'm not saying that, but let's face it, it's what you're gonna do." He arches into Steve's hand, his leg ceasing its restless movements. "Having sex... Yeuch... It's just not sexy... I-"
"You're right... We both know we're gonna make love." Steve makes finger quotes as he says the phrase, and Phil laughs at him, reaching up to pull Steve down for a kiss.
"Go on then... Yeuch... Make love to me." He rolls his eyes, and Steve kisses the tip of his nose.
"You ever..." Steve can feel his cheeks heating up as he pops open the bottle of lube.
"What? Touch my asshole? Play with it? You know I have! C'mon, don't pull coy bullshit with me." Phil laughs, and Steve shakes his head.
"I meant have you ever let anyone else touch you here?" As he talks, Steve brushes a slick finger against Phil's ass, earning a soft panted moan from Phil.
"First time..." His eyes are half-closed, riveted to Steve's face. "Inside me." His voice has dropped low, and Steve eases a finger into Phil's body, pausing as soon as he's breached the tight ring of muscle. Phil's watching him carefully; Steve can feel the weight of his gaze on him. There's a part of him that wants to back out of this, that wants to apologise to Phil, and say he just can't, but he's not sure why that part's even there. Spread out like this, his legs parted, his lips slightly reddened from kisses, his nipples peaked, and the green of his eyes swallowed up by the pupils, Phil's gorgeous. There's no way Steve's turning this down, but he's still nervous. He's never been with a man, only ever had his wife anally maybe once. It wasn't for her, and he'd let it go as something they'd tried but wouldn't try again. There's also the slight problem of the fact Steve's not had sex in years, not since his wife died, and that was a long time ago. He's worried about stamina, but then again this is Phil's first time, his stamina might not be up to much, but he is young.
"Hey... You okay?" Phil moves to sit up, and Steve rests a palm on his chest, keeping him against the ground.
"Just gimme a second?" Steve can't look him in the eye. If he does, he'll spill every silly little thought that's drifting through his head. He's sure that Phil wouldn't laugh, but he'd feel like a damn fool, and Steve's not fond of that feeling in the least.
"Long as you need." Phil settles back down, a smile on his lips as he watches Steve's face. "I'm nervous." Phil says suddenly, and Steve glances up to his eyes. "I've never been with anyone before... I had been thinking that maybe I should just to try it out, but the thought of being with anyone else makes me feel sick... So, you're getting the least experienced gay guy in the World." Phil laughs, and for the first time in the whole time they've been in the tent, Steve can hear the nervousness in Phil's voice. It's probably always been there, it's just that Steve was too focussed on his own to hear Phil's. With a rush of courage, Steve works that finger a little deeper, easing it back and forth, wiggling it from side to side a little, earning soft moans of pleasure from Phil.
"You think you're ready for another?" Steve asks, and Phil nods, his eyes closing fully as Steve eases another finger into him. His breath hitches, and Steve pauses, reaching for the lube, and adding more. "You okay? Does this hurt? Punkster? Phil?"
"Shh... Gimme a minute." Phil mutters, his chest rising and falling more rapidly. He wriggles his hips slightly, and makes a low noise in the back of his throat. "Okay." Steve starts fingering him again, slowly working in and out, stretching, and teasing open Phil's tight ass. Steve keeps prepping Phil for a lot longer than Phil seems happy with, he keeps moving restlessly, his hand making regular grabs for Steve's cock, stroking him hard, and clearly trying to inspire Steve to move on to the next stage. It takes time, but eventually Steve deems Phil ready, and he removes his fingers from Phil's ass, then coats his cock in lube.
"I think you're ready... You okay?" Steve has the terrible feeling he's going to be asking this question a thousand more times during this, but there's no way he won't make sure Phil's alright with everything, there's no way he won't constantly ask if Phil's okay. He needs to know, and the only way to know is to ask. Phil smiles up at him brightly, and Steve kisses his temple, whispering are you okay in his ear.
"Okay." Phil nods, and Steve slowly presses his cock against Phil's ass. The resistance is far more than he was expecting, and he reaches for the lube again, applying more to his fingers, stretching Phil some more, then wiping the rest on his cock.
"Relax, Punkster... I won't hurt you. I promised you I'd never hurt you again, and if this does hurt, we stop." Steve stares down into Phil's eyes, willing him to understand the sincerity of those words.
"I'm trying... Steve... I'm nervous, seriously nervous." Phil laughs softly, and Steve smiles at him. When Steve tries to pull away, Phil clings to him tightly, his arms and legs holding Steve in place. "I'm nervous, not afraid, not in pain. Don't stop. If it hurts I'll say, I promise."
"Relax." Steve whispers in Phil's ear, his hand stroking down Phil's side. "I want inside you... You look so tight, so fucking good, Punkster... At night, when I'm hard I think of all the times you've let me watch you playing with yourself. I think of watching you sliding toys in your ass, of how your eyes get all soft, and your lips are all pink, cause you keep biting on them." Steve's words seem to be having the desired effect; beneath him, Phil's already more relaxed. "I think about your hand on your cock... About how there's no one I want more than you. I think about how my name sounds when you come, about how you don't scream, it's just this soft little gasp." The same little gasp of Steve's name leaves Phil's lips as his cock penetrates Phil's ass. "Gonna wait right here, let you get used to this, okay?" Steve stills with just the tip of his cock in Phil's ass. It's a difficult and slightly terrifying prospect, but Steve's not going to rush Phil. He needs time to adjust, and Steve is going to let him have it.
"I should charge you a dollar every time you ask me that." Phil laughs breathlessly, his eyes focussed on Steve's. "I'm okay, I promise." He smiles, and Steve leans down to kiss him, working a little more length into Phil's clenching, tight heat. "Fuck." Phil moans breaking the kiss. Steve looks at him with concern, but the look Phil's face says that concern is misplaced. That wasn't a fuck of pain, it was one of pleasure. Steve gains a little confidence from that, working his cock in Phil's body cautiously. He feels less like a fully-grown, fully-experienced man, and more like a teenager having sex for the first time. Phil's hand has wrapped around his cock, his strokes matching Steve's thrusts. He's moaning low and soft beneath Steve, deep quiet noises of pleasure that resonate with Steve's own arousal, dragging matching noises from Steve. Phil looks so close to being undone, his skin flushed, his eyes hazy as the hold Steve's gaze. The sights, the sounds of Phil's enjoyment brings Steve's orgasm far closer than he's happy about, but he wants Phil to come first, he wants to come with the image of Phil trembling in pleasure in his mind. Phil comes with a quiet gasping moan of Steve's name, and Steve slides his arms under Phil's shoulder blades, holding him close, thrusting into him as hard and as fast as Steve dares. He doesn't want to hurt Phil, but strangely, he does want Phil to remember this night in the morning. It's ridiculous, and Steve feels a cruel fool for it, but there's a part of him that wants Phil to remember the first time they made love with each step all of tomorrow morning.
"Come for me, Steve..."Phil's voice is a deep rumble, and Steve stares down at him."I want to feel your cum in my ass. I wanna know what it feels like to have your cum deep inside of me." Steve groans something inarticulate, and buries his face against the side of Phil's neck. He's not sure he likes the talking, but there's something about those words coming from Phil that makes Steve's release wash over him, his hips stuttering as he tries to drive his cum as deeply inside Phil's body as he can. He collapses over Phil, feeling Phil's thin fingers moving slowly over his back. A stillness settles over them both, one that Steve knows will have to be broken soon, but for a few moments he indulges in the feeling of pressing Phil against the ground, the feeling of his cock softening inside Phil's tight body, the feeling of absolute contentment.
"You okay?" He asks softly, as he pulls out of Phil's body. He doesn't get a real response from Phil; instead, all there is a soft moan, and a tired laugh. There's a sting to Steve's pride, that's cancelled out by the way Phil wraps his legs around Steve, holding him tight against Phil. "Punkster... You okay?"
"Yeah... Just... Gimme a minute, alright?" Phil's voice is soft, tired and gentle, his eyes closed, a little smile on his lips.
"Long as you need." Steve murmurs, trying to brace most of his weight on his arms. "But lemme turn over, hmm?" He wants to cradle Phil close, wants to hold him tightly knowing that he's not being squashed by Steve's greater mass. Phil concedes to them changing position, and settles comfortably on top of Steve's chest. "So..." Steve trails a hand down Phil's spine, stroking his skin lightly. "Was it worth the wait?" Steve's certain that for him it was more than worth the wait, seeing Phil come undone beneath him was an incredible sight, one that he'd like to repeat, so long as Phil enjoyed it. There's no way he'll force Phil into having sex again if he didn't like it.
"Hmm?" Phil blinks up at him sleepily. "Just lying there was tiring... Aren't men supposed to just come and go to sleep?" He yawns, and Steve kisses his hair.
"You did more than just lie there, Punkster." Steve chuckles, his hand trailing down to Phil's ass, squeezing it lightly. "A hellva lot more than just lying there..."
"Hmm... You did most of the work though, but next time, I'm being more vigorous." He smirks at Steve, his eyes bright with amusement. "We're not waiting again... When we get home, we're doing this again... We're doing it again, and again, and again." Phil laughs softly to himself, and Steve shakes his head, pressing another kiss to Phil's hair as he yawns. "I'm tired." He sounds like he's drifting off, and Steve yawns too.
"We'll do it as many times as you want. Just get some sleep first." Steve squeezes him lightly, and closes his eyes, the sounds of insects chirping loud in his eyes.
"Steve?" Phil's voice is unexpected; pitched so quiet he almost doesn't hear it.
"Uh-huh?" Steve's too close to sleep to give a real answer, the noise that leaves him is something he's almost not conscious of making.
"Do you regret me? I've been thinking, and I know it's been hard... I... I just wonder if you'd ever wanted to have never met me." For sounding so asleep, Phil's topic of conversation is heavy, but very simple to answer. In the beginning, falling for Phil, being attracted to him, everything with him has been hard, shrouded in a heavy, dark silence, but now it's all in the light, a bright, weightless symphony of love, and there's not one second of their relationship, from the quiet to the noise that Steve regrets, never has he regretted Phil, he couldn't, not when Phil gave him back his reason for living, his reason for pulling himself from the year of white noise he'd lived in after his wife died. Phil brought sound, colour back in Steve's life, and he adores him for that.
"Never, Punkster... Never."
This is my last fic for a while... I'm taking a break... There've been a lot of things that have been troubling me, some personal, some relating to this site, some relating to wrestling in general. I thank everyone who's ever said a kind word to me on the subject of my fics.
If you enjoy something, please review - it means a lot more than you realise.