"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"
"Fred, it's Halloween."
"Um that wasn't Fred, Mione."
"Sorry George."
"Listen up woman, if you think I'm going to turn up at the Weasley Halloween Party in a skirt-"
"Only Fred has the guts to call me woman. Fred it's the armour the Greeks used to wear. And George before you start complaining about yours; your ass looked damn good in that toga. And Fred before you get all jealous about that comment your ass looked even better in the armour."
"Yeah but your toga isn't this short."
"Stop whining George. And mines plenty short. And you're not barely covered in October. This thing's so tiny, it barely classes as a toga."
"That's true I suppose."
"Hm."
"Stay in your room Fred. I'm only half dressed."
"Hermione, I'm the one person in the world who's allowed to see you without clothes on. I'm coming in."
"No you're not. If you do we'll be late and we're not being late like we were at last years."
"Remind me again why I'm not the god of love."
"Because it fits the story better. You, baby, are Ares, Greek god of war and the favourite lover to my character the Greek goddess of love Aphrodite. George tonight will be your rival for my affections as Hermes the messenger god, and another of Aphrodite's lovers."
"He's not going to get you is he?"
"I never knew you could be this insecure over a girl."
"Hey! I resent that."
"Not just any girl, brother, this girl. She's special."
"Aw, thanks honey. No George will not win me, which is why I cast you as Ares and not him. Aphrodite by far preferred Ares to Hermes; she had nine children with Ares and five with Hermes. I thought it would be better this way, less obvious."
"Oh right, you mean the big secret you've been keeping from the family."
"It's not that much bigger than the one you're keeping from the family."
"You're going to have to tell them about the two of you at some point you know. I mean it's been more than a year."
"You can't nag us about that dude, you've been sitting on yours for at least five years."
"We've agreed to keep our secrets between the three of us, and I don't fancy letting the family find out about either tonight. Man, this toga really is skimpy."
"Is it that tiny?"
"Let's just say it's a good thing muggles invented double sided tape. That's going to hurt when you take it off tonight, baby."
"Why do I have to do it?"
"Because I know it'll hurt less if you do it. Trust me, I look so good tonight you'll be begging to undress me."
"So I'm actually going to get some tonight?"
"You got some last night, I heard you. And believe me you need to remember the silencing charms. I don't want to hear that again."
"I enjoyed it."
"I know you did. You sounded really happy about what he was doing to you."
"Well I did."
"And you aren't much better about remembering the silencing charms. Last time you brought a guy home we had to listen to it all. I'm scarred for life."
"Made me laugh though."
"You can be a real bitch sometimes, Granger."
"No I'm the nice one who makes breakfast for your dates in the morning when you avoid them."
"She's got a point, bro. You are a bit of an ass to them in the morning."
"Shut up Fred. Stop sniggering Hermione."
"Can't help it. Come on, am I the only one who saw the irony behind Fred's words?"
"Changing the subject, when are you guys telling the fam about your relationship?"
"When we get engaged."
"You sound pretty sure of yourself, Fred, who says I'm gonna be around for that long?"
"Stop sniggering George. But what you said last night-"
"Stays between us. How 'bout you George? When are you telling them yours?"
"Shortly after never."
"Come on dude, if we have to tell them, which we will eventually, then bloody hell so do you."
"Yeah what happens when you find your soulmate and he moves in with us?"
"Please. Hermione I'm not going to find my soulmate. I just cop off."
"You're as vulgar as Ron."
"Thank you. He learnt it from me."
"And Fred wonders why I picked him over you."
"Why did you?"
"Too many reasons to count. Besides I knew Georgie was into pork swords before you did."
"Now who's the vulgar one?"
"I've been living with you guys far too long."
"Not going to move out are you?"
"No Fred. I can handle George's vulgarities so long as I have you."
"Aw, come here babe."
"No! Fred! Stop it!"
"Now we're definitely going to be late."
"They're our parents they won't m-"
"Hermione you were the one who was banging on about us being late."
"That was before I saw how hot your brother looked in his costume."
"Maybe we shouldn't go after all."
"What? And risk mum's wrath? No thank you. Come on Hermy, we'll find a quiet corner of the house to finish this up."
"Sounds fine to me."
"Can we go now?"
"Yes, George. Oh and sweetie, call me Hermy one more time and you'll never see me naked again."
"She really does wear the trousers huh?"
"Not tonight."
"Woah, tonight even I might be into girls."
"I think Fred'll murder you if you try anything."
"I'll do a lot more than that."
"Easy Freddy, I think I can be trusted to know which twin is which and to be able to knee the wrong twin in a vital area if he does try anything."
"Can we go now? And can we leave parts of my anatomy out of it please?"
"Fine. Man, I should really clean up in there. I know I don't sleep in my room anymore but Harry and Ron might get suspicious if they come over and my bedroom's that dusty."
"They'll never notice. You know how dense they are."
"Yeah we all do. Can we go now?"