Koujaku was never one to make a New Year's resolutions. He found it pointless, since most people never actually did them to begin with. However, this year, he did realize the importance of goal setting. If one were to really push themselves and stay dedicated, the proper outcome would present itself.

He was not one of those people. He had made one resolution, only one. He was finally going to tell Aoba how he felt. He wasn't expecting much from it, but saying those words would be liberating. He would finally put it out there, and maybe he wouldn't feel this burden on his shoulder.

He felt like he was harboring some sort of dirty secret.

Yet, as the year went by he found himself failing to say anything. It was more difficult than he thought it would be, and he already knew it was going to be a struggle for him. Many times he opened his mouth to say it and found now words, not even an audible sound would come out. Or, he would stutter and blush from being nervous, and eventually say that it was nothing.

By this point, he wondered if Aoba knew. It was kind of obvious right? Why else would a man blush and stutter in front of another man. Aoba may just be being polite and not saying anything right now. He was waiting for Koujaku to be able to say it on his own.

If, he was doing that, then maybe he was alright with it. Maybe he wanted to be with Kojuaku as well, but was waiting for Koujaku to say something. There were the thoughts that made him smile at night when he lay in bed. He wanted to think that there was hope for the two of them!

Winter turned into spring and by the end of it, Koujaku had still said nothing, and Aoba had gotten a job at a junk shop. It meant they had less free time together. Koujaku was in the position where he could open any day of the week and get a line of customers. Only a few days a week was enough to support himself and pay for other expensive. While Aoba, was working five to six days out of the week for varying hours.

He hadn't heard the other man complain about it. If anything he seemed to enjoy his job at the junk shop. He even liked his boss. He seemed to be understanding of Aoba's frequent headaches, and wasn't too hard on him about small mistakes.

Koujaku always smiled when Aoba talked so fondly of work. He was happy when Aoba was happy. Just seeing the other man's face light up when he smiled was enough to brighten his day. Honestly it was embarrassing how in love he was with this man.

Then there were time when he was sure Aoba didn't know. For example, whenever he complained about Koujaku flirting with women all the time, or when off handedly mentioned that women tend to flock to him. Then again, he could be jealous.

It was another thought that made him blush. Aoba being jealous of all those women, and the attention they were getting from him. It was only or business, but sometimes Koujaku couldn't help but be a little extra flamboyant when he interacted with them. He wanted to see Aoba's reaction. In this case it was a roll of the eyes, and occasional name calling before he said he had to leave, or reminded Koujaku that they were doing something before this.

It was refreshing, because it was still early in the year. He had time to judge the situation and make mistakes and try again. That's what spring is all about right? Renewal and rebirth! He held onto that belief as the season passed and it became summer.

Summer was a very trying period for him. It was hot, very hot! And Aoba was hot, very hot! They spent their days off together. Most of the time they would go to the local pool in the area. Not much more needs to be explained for why this was a hard time for Koujaku. Seeing Aoba in nothing but a swim trunks, was going to kill him.

Thank God the water was cold, or this would have gone so bad, so quickly. Again, Aoba seemed to not notice a thing. He was just happy to be able to hang out with him again, and he said as much. It didn't matter what they were doing as long as they were together.

Koujaku had gotten an air conditioner during this time, so now staying at his place was an option. It was a lot better than having to deal with all the local kids at the pool. They would lounge around, sometimes having a movie marathon. Those times, Aoba would insist on turning off the light so it was like a movie theater.

One time in particular, Koujaku had gotten caught staring. Shrouded in darkness, he thought that Aoba wouldn't noticed him looking. A few seconds turned into a few minutes, and Aoba had turned away from the movie to say something.

"What are you staring at?" Aoba looked around.

It had been on the tip of his tongue that day. For some reason the idea that he would confess, and Aoba would say the same thing was ever present in his mind. Then they would kiss and fall onto the couch in each other arms. They would make love for the first time here!

The thought made his face heat up, and even though he was positive Aoba felt the same way he said nothing. He told Aoba he had a piece of chip on his face that was sticking out like a tooth. Aoba furrowed his brow accusing Koujaku of finding it funny, before he wiped his face and asked if it was gone.

Fall, was something that Koujaku regrets. He had so many chances. Then again, it was the same time during the seasons prior. It was always on the tip of his tongue! He was always so close, and spend the rest of the day feeling like a coward when he said nothing.

Sometimes he was hopeful that Aoba would confess first. Girls always swarmed him and confessed, so why should this be any different? Or maybe Aoba didn't like him? Or maybe he was just as shy as he was? Then again, he'd never seen Aoba not speak up for himself, or express himself when he wanted to.

"It's so cold!" Aoba complained. They were good and into winter now. Christmas had just passed and he had still yet to say anything. Other than that things were just fine. Business was going well for the both of them, and everyone was in good health.

"It is winter." Koujaku reminded him.

"It doesn't mean it's not cold." She shivered.

"It means it's to be expected and that you should be prepared for it."

"Shut it." Aoba frowned. He'd forgotten his gloves and now his hands were freezing.

"Come here." Koujaku took Aoba's hands in his and blew on them like he always did when they were younger. "You need to remember these things more often. Did you even remember to lock the door today?"

"I did! I set Ren to remind me the lock the door every time I leave the house."

"That's pathetic." Koujaku couldn't help but laugh and look up from what he was doing to see Aoba pouting. However instead he was blush. Or was the cold to blame for the coloring of his cheeks?

"What?" Aoba frowned.

"Nothing. Are your hands feeling any better?"

"Yeah. I have feeling in them now." Aoba smiled.

Koujaku blushed moving away. However, it wasn't long until Aoba's hands were cold once again despite being in the pocket.

"Let's hurry up and get home." Koujaku said. "I'll make hot chocolate."

"Yeah let's do that." Aoba said shivered as the cold started to consume his whole body. He was more than greatful to be able to get out of his cold clothes and to be wrapped in the blankets on Koujaku's couch.

"Here you go. Your hot chocolate as promised." Koujaku handed him the cup and their fingers brushed over one another. Under any normal circumstance this would have made his heart beat faster, but Aoba's hands were little ice sickles at this point.

"Thanks." Aoba sighed taking the cup and sipping it slowly. He let the heat form the cup warm his hands as he drank. Koujaku sat down next to him turning on the T.V and flipping through the channels. There wasn't much on, and eventually he flipped it to the fashion channel. They were doing a special on hair styles for the holidays. Aoba smirked when he looked the screen but didn't say anything. Koujaku took his job seriously. He wasn't sure why he was surprised that he put on something like this.

"Feeling any better?" Koujaku asked after a while. Aoba had finished his hot chocolate but was still huddled under the blankets shivering.

"A little." He said, "Still a bit cold." He couldn't seem to warm up. He moved closer to Koujaku draping the blankets to cover the both of them. Koujaku figured he was trying to use body heat to warm up. He looked up to the T.V hoping he wasn't blushing too badly.

Aoba was leaning on him now, getting Koujaku to turn and face him so they could be chest to chest. Koujaku flinched feeling how cold Aoba was. There was a bit more rustling before he realized that Aoba had removed his shirt. He then slipped his hands inside of Koujaku's kimono. Their upper bodies were pressed flushed against each other and Aoba wrapped his arms around Aoba.

"You're freezing." Koujaku's body became ridged from the shock of the temperature change.

"You're warm." He sighed sounding content now that he was starting to warm up.

Koujaku gulped and looked back to the T.V. They were so close, and again he found himself close to saying what he'd been trying to say all year. His mouth opened, and there was no sound so he closed it again. He doesn't think Aoba noticed because he was too concerned about his body temperature.

"Your heart is beating really fast." Aoba pointed out to him.

"I'm fine."

"Do you want me to move?"

Koujaku made the mistake of looking down at him. He looked concerned but Koujaku was still taken aback by his beauty. He opened his mouth again. He was going to say it. Every part of his being was crying out for him to say it! There was a ringing in his head as adrenaline pumped through his body, or it was just his nerves. He couldn't hear anything his slight panic, and still didn't speak.

Or so he thought. It wasn't until the last word fell from his lips, that he realized that he had managed to say it. Aoba blinked, and Koujaku blushed. His voice now full working as he tried to apologize.

"I like you too." Aoba smiled up at him. He lifted himself up a bit to kiss Koujaku.

"Aoba?"

"Why are you being so bashful? You were the one who said it first right?"

Koujaku managed to smile kissing Aoba back and pulling him closer. His flesh was still cold to the touch. He didn't have time to think about it, because Aoba was suddenly kissing him deeply.

"Koujaku." Aoba moaned and shifted. He pressed his groin to Koujaku's. He was already starting to get hard. "Let's do it."

"Now?" Koujaku wanted to curse knowing that his voice had pitched. Sure earlier in the year he thought it would be awesome for them to confess her, and make out, and do it on the couch, but now he was nervous. He hadn't expected it to really happen. He thought it was one of those unobtainable fantasies. Yet, right now, Aoba was asking him to do it!

"I want you." Aoba kissed at Koujaku's neck gently. "It might help warm me up."

"Aoba?"

"I've been waiting for you to say those words for a long time." Aoba looked up at him blushing. "You've though about doing this too right?"

"I have." Koujaku admitted. He let his hands travel as far down as Aoba's waist. His fingers hooked into the waist band and he started to pull them down. His hands were a bit shaky. It wasn't like this was his first time. He's done it with woman before this, however, this was different.

Aoba helped with removing the pants. He had to sit up, and the blankets started to slip from around him, allowing Koujaku to see his cock bouncing a bit as it twitched and grew now that it was free from its confines.

Koujaku could only stare for a bit. Aoba was already worked up. He wondered if part of this was planned. If he had gotten tired of waiting and had…no Aoba wouldn't think that far ahead for something like this.

"You too." Aoba slid Koujaku's kimono from his shoulders, but wasn't able to full take it off.

Koujaku, pushed Aoba down on the other side of the couch. He let his eyes wandered over Aoba's bare form which was now displayed before him. His chest heaving in anticipation for what Koujaku planned to do next. His face flushed pink from the embarrassment of being exposed like this, and openly stared at. His legs moved to the side giving Koujaku room.

"I don't have any lube." A lightbulb suddenly went off over his head.

"My coat pocket." Aoba moaned.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just in case."

"In case of what?"

"In case of this." Aoba said turning to pull his jacket closer and fumbled around in the pockets until he found a few packets of lube.

"You were really waiting for this."

"Make it worth it." Aoba smiled up at him and kissed him.

Koujaku did his best. His nerves were still getting to him, and he knew it would influence his performance. He tried to forget all those thoughts. He had Aoba underneath him moaning and groaning every time he thrust inside of him. It felt good to finally be joint like this. He was completely surrounded and submerged in Aoba.

He rolled his hips trying to make sure he hit that spot that made Aoba see starts. He would moan his name, and all but scream when he did that. His whole body would tense as if he was about to cum from such simple stimulation.

"Kou-ja-ku." He moaned letting his hands tangle in the others hair and brought him down for another kiss. "I'm close." He whimpered.

Koujaku was feeling it to. His arms wrapped around Aoba pressing their bodies impossibly closer. Their cries became louder and the pace was faster. Koujaku's hips rocked to go deeper inside. Aoba's inner walls tightened, and Koujaku moaned again. He had to close his eyes as he continued unable to keep them open as he called Aoba's name.

Aoba suddenly let out a rather loud cry. He came shaking in Koujaku's arms. It wasn't long until he felt Koujaku cum inside of him. Kojuaku stopped supporting his own weight as he let himself go. His hips snapped forwards a few more time as they both rode out their orgasms.

They lay their panting for a bit, before Koujaku finally shifted his weight to lay next to Aoba. However, there was no more couch for him to move to and he fell on the floor. Aoba sat up quickly trying not to laugh.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Koujaku said picking himself off the floor. "I'm fine."

Aoba let himself snickered a bit.

"It's not funny." Koujaku said sitting back down.

"Sorry." Aoba smiled trying to pull himself together. He moved to where Koujaku was leaning against him. He took the blanket with him coving the both of them. Koujaku smiled and held Aoba against him.

So in the end he had managed to do it, and he still had two day left before the year was over. He smiled again looking down to see that Aoba was starting to go to sleep. He wasn't as cold as before either, so he didn't have to worry about that anymore.

He leaned against the couch for support, so he could start to go to sleep as well. His heart was beating fast again, but this time from happiness. His mind kept playing the recent events in his mind over and over again. He was still in a state of disbelief.

On second thought, he would stay awake a little longer. There was that small part in his head telling him that this was all a dream, and when he woke up it would be gone. Besides, he was content with being able to watch Aoba's sleeping face.

Fin

Reviews are a;ways appreciated ^^