"How much?" Mulder asked gawking at the pizza man standing at the hotel room door, where he and Scully had come to get away for the weekend.
$28.75, sir," the kid sighed, raising his eyes at Mulder.
"Is it covered in gold truffles?" he asked, taking out his wallet and shaking his head. He handed the kid all the cash he had, thirty two dollars, and took the pizza from him, closing the door, and turning around.
He set the pizza down on the table and looked toward the bathroom. Scully had disappeared inside it ten minutes ago to take a shower after telling him she ordered a pizza and to keep an ear out for it. An ear, he thought with a snort. More like all the cash I have.
Opening the box, he saw she had gotten toppings they both liked, but still, he knew what she was doing. In fact, this was far from the first or possibly even tenth time she had done this to him. Closing the lid, he decided to make a list of exactly how many times she had.
Sitting down at the table, the aroma of pizza wafting into his nose and making his stomach growl, his task was somewhat difficult, but he was determined to prove a point.
"Let's see," he said, picking up a pen and grabbing some paper. "That one pizza in Oregon that was truly awful- fifteen dollars. The one that almost got me goddamn killed- thirteen dollars. Two at my apartment. The one from "Little Caesar himself." One I brought over after her hospital stay and the other from her regular delivery guy. Jesus. The one at the house and now this one. So let's see … we carry the one … two hundred and ten dollars. On pizza." He sat back and shook his head, setting down the pen.
He heard the shower turn off and he sat with his arms crossed, ready to discuss how she would pay him back for her sneaky ways over the years. The door opened a few minutes later and her familiar scent made him close his eyes and ache to reach for her.
Come on, man, he thought. Be strong.
"Oh good, the pizza's here," she said as she stepped toward him, running her hand across his back. He turned to look at her and she smiled at him. "Were you waiting? You didn't have to, but thanks." She sat down and opened the box, making contented noises as she did. Glancing at him, she frowned.
"I'm onto you, sister," he said, raising his eyebrows at her.
"You're onto me? What does that mean?" she asked with a curious look on her face.
"I'm onto your little game. "Oh, Mulder, I need to take a shower, can you keep an ear out for the pizza? It's on its way but I must shower right now. I simply can't wait ten more minutes. Ohandwouldyoumindpayingforit," he said in a rush and stared at her.
She searched his face as they sat there and he saw her lips curling upward, but not completely smiling. Her eyes danced though and he tried to keep a stern face, but failed miserably.
"Do you think that's what I do? Leave you with the bill, on purpose? In case you hadn't noticed, I got a pizza we would both enjoy. Did you not want to share it with me?" she asked, pressing her lips together to stop from smiling. He saw her eyes flick to his piece of paper and she snatched it up before he could stop her.
"Oregon, Texas, our old places, the house and now here," she looked at him and grinned, unable to control it. "I'm sure there are more, should we work on it? Really put our … heads together?" She asked, her tone playful, flirting, and teasing.
"Oh now, don't start laying on the sweet charm and flirtiness," he said, with a shake of his head. "I'm immune to its effect." She snorted with laughter as he completely lied to her, and he shook his head slowly, his expression set in mock seriousness.
She got up from her chair and grabbed her wallet, taking out some cash. "Here's thirty for the pizza tonight," she said, setting it down on the table. "It's all I have, so I hope you're happy about cleaning me out of all my cash." He took it from he and put it in his wallet.
"I thank you, but it was thirty two dollars, not thirty. You're two dollars short," he said as he looked at her. "Two dollars. I want my two dollars!" He said in a raspy voice and she laughed.
"Mulder, Better Off Dead quotes aren't going to magically find the extra money you're seeking," she said with a laugh, sitting back down and opening the pizza box again. She took out a slice and took a bite. He smiled at her and reached for a slice of pizza.
"Oh no, I'm sorry, you didn't pay for any pizza, so I'm going to have to say no to you," she said, blocking his hand from picking up a piece. He tilted his head and she shook hers, a huge smile on her face.
He sighed and reached for his wallet, taking out half the money she just gave him, and handing it over to her. She held the money up to the light, examining it before shrugging and setting it beside her.
"Seriously?" he asked with a laugh and she shrugged again. She waved her hand toward the pizza and he rolled his eyes as he picked up a slice.
"So, is this list it? Are we good now?" she asked with her eyes narrowing in on his, and he shrugged. She stared at him for a second more, before putting her slice of pizza down, and brushing off her hands.
He watched her as she got up and walked closer to him. He turned his chair toward her and she sat in his lap, encircling her arms around his neck. Dropping his slice of pizza on the table, he wrapped his arms around her waist, locking his fingers behind her back.
"So, do you really want to tally up numbers, or would you rather do ... something else?" she asked with a purr in her voice, her lips falling onto his neck. He closed his eyes and his grip on her tightened.
"What did you have in mind?" he asked as she began to kiss his neck and up to his lips. She hummed against them and he shivered. Lifting her head, she grinned at him.
"Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something," she smiled and kissed him again. His arms pulled her closer and she held tighter to him.
"I like that we're thinking the same thing, but ... thirty dollars, Scully …"
"Thirty two, Mulder," she said, nipping at his earlobe and he groaned.
"Hmmm," he breathed, and he tugged at her hair. She lifted her head and grinned before kissing him deeply. She stood up and pulled him to his feet, the pizza forgotten for now, as she tugged at his clothes and took off her own.
Later, wrapped tightly to one another, she laughed and he pulled her closer, nuzzling his nose into her neck. "Two dollars," she said in her own raspy voiced impersonation and he laughed.
"And I'll keep reminding you, don't worry," he said quietly, kissing the back of her neck, making her sigh.
"I look forward to it," she yawned and he smiled, closing his eyes and holding her close.
"Two hundred and ten dollars, Mulder," she said, shaking her head. "All I've done for you over the years, you're fussed over pizza costs?" She tsked at him and he laughed.
"Fine, I suppose we're even. I'll rip up the paper tomorrow, you happy?" he asked her and she nodded with a laugh, settling back against him, and they both sighed.
"But all that money, Scully … just for pizza?" he asked after a few moments of silence, incredulous at the cost. Her answer was to elbow him in the stomach, causing him to lose his breath. Finally shutting him up, to her immediate satisfaction.
"Two dollars," he whispered into her ear and she giggled. "Twoooo dollars." She pulled his arms tighter around him and he sighed contentedly, happy to pay any and all future pizza purchases.
Even from goggle-eyed bespectacled "Little Caesar" himself.