A long night and a strong drink settled his thoughts.
The look on his face told that he could not believe what had occurred in the last six months. The last six months were filled with changes that Ben never thought would have occurred. Swishing the contents of his glass he stared deep into the glass of gin. Now, Ben normally did not drink, but he and Ruthie had decided to celebrate their relationship over a drink. Smiling, Ben raised his glass in the air.
"This is for my Ruthie, whom I've grown to love more and more each day we've been together." Clinking the glasses, she leaned in to kiss him, and then they both took a sip of the drink.
Ruthie and Ben had been going steady for nearly six months. It was the longest relationship either one of them had been in. Gabe was happy for his mother; he hadn't seen her smile and laugh like she had since he was a kid. None of Ruthie's previous relationships could compare to what she had with Ben. The carnies did not understand. When Ruthie told everyone that she and Ben were going steady, the reaction was pretty mixed. Lila was pretty peeved. She didn't like Ben that much, especially after what happened to Lodz. The blind mentalist was killed by Ben himself after learning about the snake that Lodz intentionally placed in Ruthie's laundry bag. By killing Lodz, he revived Ruthie. When Lila learned of what really happened to Lodz, she was angry.
Ruthie knew Ben saved her because he loved her. It was what he had told her much later.
"I love you more and more each day." Putting his arms around her waist, she gently laid her head on his shoulder, the dark curls of her medium length hair falling freely. Ben ran his long fingers through the mess of curls that fell against his shoulder. Ruthie cocked her head upwards, looking up at him lovingly. He smiled, continuing to repeat the action. She murmured softly, and Ben leaned in, breathing in the scent of chamomile and lavender.
"You like this, don't ya?" His fingers ran through her hair, mesmerized by the softness and the thick texture of the curls which were so neatly framing her face.
"Yes." It was all she could utter; she was in awe of the fact that he made her feel special.
A strand of her hair fell in her face. The curls she so neatly curled were now becoming a frizzy mess. Ben smiled, pushing the strand out of her eyes.
"You look beautiful today, Ruthie." He swung around behind her, and put his arms around her waist. Standing over not too far away, Lila scoffed. Ben and Ruthie were unaware of the fact that she was watching, and had been watching for more than ten whole minutes.
"Aww…how adorable." It was sarcastic, as Lila was known to do. Ruthie whipped her head around, shouting angrily at Lila, "Mind 'yer own beeswax, Lila!" She was angry at the fact that she and Ben were constantly heckled whenever they were out in the open. Ben held her close to him tightly, his hands holding hers. Gently, he squeezed Ruthie's hand, and she knew to follow Ben. He took her hand in his, and they walked away. Ruthie followed Ben towards her trailer, where Gabe sat on the steps, fiddling with a rope.
"Excuse us, Gabe. Your ma and I need to talk." Gabe nodded, and opened the door for them, and returned to sitting outside on the steps of the trailer. He knew to watch for anyone intending to disturb his mother and Ben.
Shutting the door, Ben turned and looked at Ruthie.
She smiled a little. "I had to say somethin'; otherwise she'd keep tormentin' us."
Ben leaned in towards Ruthie, placing his hands on her face. Bending down, he kissed her on her forehead.
"I know, its okay." Ruthie hugged him tightly; she was relieved that he wasn't mad at her. Her face was stained with tears.
"I love you, Ben Hawkins." Ruthie said, smiling through her tears.
Reaching over, Ben brushed a tear from her cheek. "I love you too, my dear Ruthie."
Later that night, they sat in the dark under the large white tent. It was long after most of the carnies had gone to bed. Ben figured it would be a good idea if they kept their relationship on the low key side. Ruthie understood completely. She knew it would be better than picking fights with the other carnies over the fact that she was more than friends with Ben. Putting an arm around her, Ben whispered, "It's beautiful out tonight, don't ya think?" she smiled, scooting in closer to Ben, allowing him to hold her. He breathed in the night air, and turned to smile at Ruthie.
"It is. It was a smart idea to keep our relationship on the down low for now." She leaned in to kiss him on the lips. He took it in, and after they parted, he said, touching her cheek lightly, "Yes. That way, we won't be heckled for being a couple. I'm sick of hiding it…why can't we be open?"
Ruthie took him in her arms, her fingers running through his hair.
"It's okay, Ben. They don't understand." She rubbed his back gently, comforting him, as she sighed contentedly.
Ben looked up at her, and smiled. "Thanks for cheerin' me up. I needed that." Ruthie nodded.
"You're welcome, sweetheart. Anything for my baby." She smiled. They sat outside in the moonlight in pure silence. Ruthie was shivering from the cool weather. She felt dumb for not remembering her coat. Ben noticed her shivering, and pulled his coat off, putting it on her shoulders.
"Take this. I don't want you to catch cold." He smiled. She kissed his cheek.
"Thanks. I forgot that it was going to be cool out." Putting his coat on her shoulders, he embraced her gently.
"It's fine, don' need to catch anything." His reassurance made her sigh with relief.
"What do you want to do now?" she mused, looking at her watch. It was late, but if it meant getting time alone with Ben where she wasn't bothered, it was worth it. He smiled, and said, "Well, it is late, but can I shack up with you tonight?" She smiled. It had been a week or two since he had been in her trailer; they had been trying so hard to keep their love life a secret from the others. It was bad enough getting heckled every day, even just for sitting together. Pondering for a moment, Ruthie smiled.
"Sure…you're leavin' before the sun comes up, right?" He nodded.
"Can't let 'em see me come out of your trailer…we'll never hear the end of it." She nodded, imagining the ideas that they'd get just by seeing Ben entering and exiting her trailer. Dusting herself off, Ruthie got up, and held out her hand to Ben. He took it, clasping his fingers around her fingers.
"C'mon, Ben…let's get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow." She winked. They headed over to the trailer, and Ben opened the door for her.
"Ladies first." She smiled, kissing him on the cheek.
"Such a gentleman, like your papa." He followed her inside. Ben sat down in one of her chairs, while she sat in her chair which faced the mirror. She turned to him, facing him. Ruthie placed a hand on Ben's thigh. He could feel himself getting hard just feeling her hand on his thigh. She knew he was turned on by her; there was no denying that to Ruthie. Reaching for him, she smiled.
Stroking it gently with the tip of her thumb, Ben leaned into her shoulder; no words escaped his mouth except for, "Oh…Ruthie, honey." She was quite surprised by his willingness to go further, and she continued willingly, the sounds of his growls purring like a kitten in her ear. He took her hand, placing it gently on top of his.
Ben hated that he couldn't shower love on his Ruthie out in the open. He wanted people to know how much he loved his woman. They couldn't even hold hands outside the trailer doors half the time or kiss.
He got up, and walked behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Slowly and carefully, he massaged her shoulders. She smiled.
"That feels good." Ruthie marveled. Ben smiled.
"Is anything bothering you? You're so tense." He kneaded her shoulders, his thumbs pressing against her shoulder blades, in a circular motion.
"The only thing that bothers me is that we have to keep this relationship hidden." Ben nodded.
"I wish it wasn't like that. It seems people have a problem with us being a couple." Ruthie sighed.
"It's the whole "I'm old enough to be your ma" thing that bothers them. But honestly, I don't care." She touched his hand gently.
"I love you, Ruthie." It rolled off his tongue, sweetness to it. She smiled, and said," Age doesn't matter. There are no definite boundaries to love just because of the age difference." Touching his cheek, she continued.
"I love you too, Ben." Ruthie kissed his cheek lightly, and they parted, looking at each other. A second later, she and he drew closer, and his arms around her waist, he held her close, breathing in the familiar scents of her skin. Ben began kissing her against the nape of her neck, her favorite spot. She smiled.
"You know what I like, darlin'."
"Of course." Ben smiled.
He continued to kiss her fervently against her neck, slowly making his way towards her cleavage. Ben kissed the top of each breast lightly, and her light moan of pleasure made him smile. Carefully, he unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her breasts. Cupping her large breasts in his hands, she moaned softly, as he played with her nipples, teasing the sensitive flesh with the brush of his index finger and thumb.
"More please…more…." She moaned. He continued lavishing her breasts, flicking each nipple lightly with his tongue. Ben continued, as Ruthie's moans increasingly got louder. Slowly his hands made it below her stomach, and Ruthie cried out, her nails digging gently into Ben's shoulders. He could see the red marks on his shoulder blade, but it did not faze him. Ben nipped and sucked, as Ruthie gasped. Lightly he pushed her against her large feather bed, continuing to shower his love on his Ruthie. His face met hers, and she gazed lovingly into his blue eyes.
"I admit, it's been too long, darlin'…I missed you next to me the last week or so." Ben smiled.
"I missed you too, my dear." He allowed his index finger to explore her, and she shuddered. In one swoop, he took her in his arms and kissed her, slipping his tongue down her throat. They kissed passionately for what seemed like ages, his hands slipping up her blouse, feeling her warm flesh. She smiled, and unhooked the rest of her blouse, and he helped her remove it. His fingers brushed lightly against her skin, exploring the contours of her body. Ruthie kissed him against his unshaven face. She loved the feel of stubble scratching against her face.
"It feels so good to be in your arms." Ruthie smiled, her hand lightly touching Ben's face. He reached up, and put his arms around her, embracing her.
She traced his chest, her index finger moving downwards. Reaching for him, she stroked it again gently, teasing the tip with her thumb. Ben rested his head against her shoulder, groaning softly. Ruthie reached for him, guiding him towards her. Ben slowly made himself a part of her, carefully thrusting within. He could hear Ruthie's heavy breathing in his ear. Her moans became louder and louder, and at one point, she screamed,"Oh my!" Ruthie gasped, and they parted. Falling in Ben's arms, he held her tightly against him.
"I don't want this moment to end." Ruthie said, nestling her face against his bare chest. Ben smiled, and wrapped his arms around her tighter.
"I don't want it to end either, Ruthie. It was fantastic tonight."He grinned sheepishly. She looked up at her man, and smiled. Closing her eyes, she let him stroke her hair gently until she fell asleep. Ben smiled, and they both fell asleep, with him holding her in his arms.
Morning came fast. Ruthie laid there, Ben holding her in his arms. She had been awake for not even a half hour yet. Lightly, she touched his fingers, and his eyes fluttered open, to find his Ruthie smiling.
"Mornin', dear." He smiled, leaning in to kiss her. She smiled.
"I thought you'd be gone by now." He ran his fingers through the unruly waves in her hair.
"Well, I slept a bit longer than I hoped. Plus, I thought it would be lovely to be there with you. Somethin' we haven't done in a while."
Ruthie took a deep breath."But what about if the others see you come out of the trailer, what will they think?" Ben smiled and put a finger to Ruthie's lips, silencing her.
"They went to town. I heard the cars leave this mornin'. It's just us."
It was perfect timing. Months had passed since they were able to have alone time. Time where they were alone and everyone else was gone.
"You're beautiful when you sleep."
Ruthie smiled. "Thanks, darlin'." Ben leaned in and kissed her. Running his hand through her hair, he smiled.
"How long do we have?" Ben touched Ruthie's hand gently. She had been around longer, and knew of how things worked within the carnival.
"We have less than an hour. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?" she chuckled.
Ben laughed."Well, since no one but us is here…maybe a quickie before they come back." Ruthie arched her back, slowly crawling on all fours.
"Come on boy, we haven't much time." She kissed him, slipping her tongue down his throat. He took her hair in his hand, letting it slip through his fingers. Rolling over, he soon was looking up into her eyes.
They made love again, until the sounds of trucks and cars were heard parking in the dusty landscape of where they were all currently staying. Ruthie jolted up, and rushed to throw some clothes on and the same with Ben.
"Hurry, sweetheart." Ruthie protested. Ben kissed her gently on the lips, squeezing her hand gently.
Rushing out the back door Ruthie had, he smiled.
"See you at the chow tent." The carnies had yet to have breakfast, so he figured he and Ruthie could enjoy each other's company there. It did not matter to him whether or not people approved of his and Ruthie's courtship. Ben was happy, and that's what mattered.
--
Ben sat at a table in the chow tent. He was waiting for Ruthie to meet him. Spooning some mush into his mouth, he smiled. Life was good to him so far. He had a woman, and he was happy with what he was doing. He could smell the scent of his soap wafting from his skin. Ben had taken a shower before he went to the chow tent. He combed his hair neatly, and cleaned up some of his stubble. Ben kept it of course, as his Ruthie liked him rugged. Looking up, he spotted Ruthie, making her way to the table, carrying her food. She smiled.
Ruthie sat across from Ben in the chow tent. She chose to sit next to him, setting her food down at the table. Smiling, she looked at Ben.
"May I sit here?" Ben nodded. He was rather bored sitting by himself. She sat down, leaning forward to talk to him.
"How are you, sweetheart?" There was no mention of the moments they had shared hours earlier. Under the table, she touched his hand. He looked at her, a smile curled on his lips. Grabbing her hand, he clasped his fingers around hers.
"Doin' quite well, sleepin' better actually." He grinned. Ruthie laughed, playfully swatting him.
"That's because I'm next to you, isn't it?" Ruthie whispered. She didn't want any of the carnies to know what has occurred behind closed doors. Especially the moments they had shared hours earlier.
"Might be." Ben laughed softly. They sat together, eating silently, Ruthie's hand on Ben's thigh. Ben could feel himself getting hard again just feeling her hand brush against his knee. He was trying so hard to not let it happen. Ben hoped Ruthie didn't notice it.
Ruthie smiled and took a sip of her coffee. The moment was perfect.
Looking up at him, she set the coffee down.
"What do you have planned today, sweetheart?" it was Sunday, and usually Ben helped Jonesy for a greater part of the day, then the rest of the day was his to spend. Ruthie, since the incident with the snake, had given up snake charming once again, and returned to working as a talker for her son's strongman act. Ben spooned another mouthful of oatmeal, and swallowed. Smiling, he glared into her eyes, his boyish charm glistening through his baby blues.
"I'm suppos' to help Jonesy today with dismantling the Ferris wheel. We can't have another tragedy." Ruthie nodded. She remembered that night afterwards, she had been crying because she felt sorry for the little boy. Ben comforted her that night. All she could remember is Ben taking her in his arms, embracing her as she sobbed. It broke Ruthie's heart, but Ben assured her that everything would be okay.
"Ruthie, it's okay. The boy is okay." Ben said, trying to calm her down, as she was crying hysterically. She felt bad for the little boy.
"It's a mother's intuition." Ruthie sobbed, tears streaming down her face. Ben took her in his arms, holding her tight as she cried. Rubbing her back gently, he tried to calm her down.
"Shh…it's okay, don't cry. Please don't cry." Ben ran his fingers through her hair, as she cried. He hated that she was crying, but he felt she needed him there to hold her and comfort her.
Ruthie touched his hand lightly.
"I was thinkin'… maybe we could meet after you've finished? We haven't really spent much time together the last few days or so. And tonight, why don't you come by to the trailer?" A look of nervousness appeared on Ben's face.
"Don't you be worrying. It's nothing bad at all." That put Ben at ease. He placed his hand on top of Ruthie's and she clasped her fingers around his. She smiled. Ben looked down at his hand which she still held.
"Yes, darlin'." Ben grinned, and they shared a quick kiss on the lips. It was as if they were married, but they weren't. Usually while Ben and Jonesy were away working, Libby dropped by to see Ruthie. She was one of the few that got Ruthie. After all, Libby was married to Jonesy, a former baseball player that was old enough to be her pa. So, it made complete sense why the two women shared that bond. Libby approached the table, her bleach blonde hair flapping wildly in the wind. She looked at Ben and smiled.
"Mornin' Ben…how's things goin' for you?" Libby was cheerfully happy today. She no longer worked the shows with her mother; sometimes she helped Ruthie out with Gabe. Ruthie had taught her everything she knew, and some weeks, Libby alternated with Ruthie on the talker job. Jonesy was extremely grateful to Ruthie and Ben both, Ben for saving his life when he was tarred and feathered by those men, and to Ruthie for finding his Libby a respectable job in the carnival. Libby had proved to be very good at helping Ruthie, and Ruthie thought of her as like a daughter.
Ben smiled."Fantastic…how are things goin' for you and Jonesy?" Libby grinned, pushing a strand of her hair out of her face.
"Wonderful. Ruthie, he is so grateful to you for findin' me a more respectable job." Ruthie gave the young woman a hug.
"Tell him that I'm glad he's grateful. Gabe enjoys having you there to help him out, and so do I." Libby smiled.
"Ben, Jonesy says that later today he'll need you." Ben nodded.
"Thanks, Libby." Ruthie smiled. She was glad that she and Ben had people like Libby and Jonesy around. The two couples shared so much in common, and Libby understood what Ruthie was going through with the carnies. She remembered when her ma and pa found out she married Jonesy. A lot of the carnival folk did not understand why Libby had married a man who was old enough to be her father, much like Ben with Ruthie, who was old enough to be his ma.
Ben finished his oatmeal, and set the plate aside. Since Jonesy did not need him right away, he figured he'd spend some time with his Ruthie. Libby smiled, and turned to walk away.
"It was nice talking to you both. See ya later." She walked away, and Ben turned to Ruthie.
"Now how about I come by a little earlier, since Jonesy doesn't need me just yet." She squeezed his hand gently, smiling.
"Don't mind at all, sweetheart." They both got up, and Ben took his plate and Ruthie's to the man who was washing the dishes. They walked hand in hand to the trailer, and Ben could care less what anyone thought of their relationship. They walked over to Ruthie's trailer, and Ben opened the door for her. Entering the room, she sat down on her bed, and motioned for Ben to join her. Ben sat down, and Ruthie put her arms around Ben.
"So what was it you wanted to tell me, sweetheart?" Ruthie smiled.
With everything that had been going on, Ben had almost nearly forgotten. Jonesy had gone with him to pick out a ring for Ruthie. He finally wanted to marry her, seal the deal. Ben had asked Jonesy to go with him because he wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing, making the right decisions. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out the ring.
"Ruthie…it's been the best six months I've gotten to know you further, and the best three years since you befriended me. You've made me happy, and keep me grounded." Ben opened his fingers, revealing a small ring. It was simple, and would fit Ruthie's finger. He looked deep into her eyes.
"Ruthie, will you marry me?" She looked down at the ring in Ben's hand. It was simple, just the way she liked it. It wasn't flashy---she didn't care, it did not matter to her one bit. It dawned on her that Ben had wanted to make it official. Ruthie lit up with excitement, taking the ring from the palm of his hand.
"Yes, dear…I'll marry you! Why, I'm so excited." She hugged Ben tightly, her arms around his neck. The daunting task was how to tell the rest of the group. Samson would be pleased, and he knew Jonesy and Libby would be excited…and a couple others but some would not take the news half as well. Slipping the ring on her finger, she leaned in and kissed her new fiancé on the lips.
"I love you, Ben Hawkins." She smiled, taking his hands in hers. Ben ran his fingers through her hair.
"I love you too, Ruthie." He beckoned to her to sit on his lap. She smiled, crawling into his lap, laying her head on his shoulder. Ben put an arm around her waist and held her close to him.
"When shall we tell everyone?" He looked down at his Ruthie, who was grinning from ear to ear. She snapped her finger, signaling she had an idea.
"Let's tell Gabe first. He has every right to know before ev'ryone else." She jumped quickly off of his lap, and ran to call her son in from outside. Gabe entered the room, towering over his mother and even his soon to be stepfather.
"Mamma, what is it?" Gabe grinned. He had just finished his chore of sweeping the steps. Ruthie smiled.
"We have something to tell you, Gabe, dear." She patted his back gently, which he liked. He recalled as a kid how she always used that to comfort him. Ruthie continued and said,"Gabe, honey…Ben and I decided to get married." Gabe loved Ben, and when he heard the news he got a huge grin on his face. Hugging Ben, it pleased Ruthie to see that her men could get along.
"Now why don't you practice for your act, sweetie. Mamma and Ben have to discuss how to tell the others so don't say anythin' okay?" Gabe nodded. He ran back outside the trailer and Ben turned, facing Ruthie. She smiled.
"Oh, I am over the moon with excitement." She embraced him, rubbing his back gently with her free hand. Ben was happy himself. He and Ruthie may not be able to have children, but he was just happy he had her. Ben had determined he could not have children himself, as with the fact that there was that chance he could produce a child with his powers and that could be dangerous.
"Now how do we tell our news to the others?" Ruthie quipped. She knew it wasn't going to go over well in some circles. Ben thought for a moment, and then said something.
"Well, we should break it when everyone is together." Ruthie knew what he meant. That way they wouldn't be telling people separately. Ruthie nodded. She knew what could occur if they told separate people.
Later that day, Ruthie and Ben gathered the group and Ruthie started it, so Ben wouldn't get the brunt of what could happen. After all, she knew them all much longer than Ben did.
"This ain't easy for us to tell you guys, but, we're gettin' hitched." Ruthie looked down at the ground, tracing circles in the dirt with the tip of her boot. She was extremely nervous because she knew the animosity towards Ben. Especially Lila.
Samson was the first to say something. He smiled.
"I knew it would happen someday, congrats to both of you." The others that accepted the news really well was Jonesy and Libby. But, that was expected as Ben had already told Jonesy about his proposal to Ruthie. Jonesy was sworn to secrecy, even to Libby because Ben knew Libby was quite the blabbermouth and would let it slip. Libby hugged both of them, smiling.
"Congratulations." Ben smiled.
"Thanks Libby." Stumpy punched Ben's shoulder gently.
"Way to go son." He smiled. Sabina and Rita Sue congratulated Ruthie, but besides that the only one that sat alone was Lila. She was holding Ben accountable for the death of the blind mentalist, Lodz. Lodz had been her lover off and on prior to his death. Ruthie had told Ben to just ignore her. Lodz no longer appeared through Ruthie's body, according to Lila, he felt that it would be best to appear through a male body.
Ruthie was just relieved that the sleepwalking had stopped. She did have visions and saw the deceased from time to time, but otherwise, she was a lot better than she was since Lodz started possessing other males. She even slept better. And that wasn't just because Ben at times was with her. Ruthie looked better, and felt better. Color had returned to her face, and she was improving daily. Ben, since the injuries he sustained in the fight with Brother Justin, Ruthie nursed him back to good health…he retained normal functions and was eating again. Ben had had a difficult recovery, but every time he looked at the scar on his abdomen, he remembered how Ruthie stayed with him every night, told him stories, and held his hand every night. She was his rock. And he was hers. They made it through the worst together and now were well on their way to happiness together.
After all the congratulations, Ruthie and Ben walked back to the trailer, Ben's arm around Ruthie's shoulder as Ruthie laid her head against his chest.
"I was pretty surprised that they took it well." Ruthie ran her fingers across his shirt.
"Same here." They headed over to the trailer, and Ben opened the door.
Entering, Ruthie went to sit at her makeup chair. Ben slowly unhooked the gold chain around her neck. Ruthie kept it as a treasured heirloom; she had had it since she was a kid. Carefully he laid the necklace on the dresser.
"Thanks, darling," Ruthie smiled. "The clasp is so hard to open up sometimes." Ben wrapped his arms gently around her neck, kissing her cheek.
"Welcome." She allowed her hand to reach up, and touch his hand, which rested on her shoulder. Gently, she took his hand, and lightly squeezed it.
"You handled it well with everyone, it wasn't easy, that's for sure." Ruthie said, smiling. Ben laughed. He felt that now that the cat was out of the bag, they could talk about things more freely.
"It sure wasn't." he planted a kiss on Ruthie's lips. Parting, he looked into the eyes of his fiancée.
Her eyes told him that she welcomed his touch. It was as if they were making up for lost time. Making up for the time spent hiding the specifics of their complex relationship. It wasn't easy, but now that it was out in the open, both of them felt freer. Ruthie fell into his arms, his arms wrapped around her petite waist gently. Laying her head gently against his chest, Ruthie looked up, and kissed her fiancé right on the lips. Ben made Ruthie feel special. Everything she felt with Ben she never felt with anyone else.
"Ben?" Ruthie questioned. Looking down at her he grinned.
"Yes, dear?" He brushed a stray bang away from her face.
"Since we're marrying, why don't you move in to my trailer? It's big enough to fit both of us." She smiled in excitement. It felt surreal to her that she was soon to be a married woman. Ben smiled.
"Beats sleepin' in the truck, that's for sure." They shared a laugh. Ruthie motioned to Gabe.
"Gabe, honey? Would you get Ben's things from the truck?" Gabe rushed out the door towards the truck to gather Ben's things. Ben had been sleeping there when he wasn't spending the night with Ruthie. It was uncomfortable, he admitted. At least now, he had somewhere to come home to.
A person who loved him very much and she was someone to come home to.
Ben smiled at the thought. Ruthie taught him how to love, something he never got from his mother. Touching her cheek, she smiled at Ben.
"This is all new to me." Ben smiled and swept her up in his arms.
"Me too." She leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. They parted and looked at each other, with Ruthie taking Ben's hands in hers.
"I still can't believe we're doing this." She smiled, squeezing his hands gently.
"Ruthie, you taught me how to love. Something I never got from my Ma or Pa. Ma avoided me like the plague, and Pa…well you know he took off." Ruthie nodded, taking Ben in her arms. Ben laid his head against her chest, and she stroked his hair softly, running her long fingers through his hair.
"It's okay." Ruthie whispered, as she kissed him against the top of his forehead. Ben closed his eyes and smiled.
"Thanks for listenin' to me, Ruthie." She smiled and stroked his messy blonde hair gently with the tips of her fingers.
"Anytime, darling. I'll always be there for you, Ben."
Ben leaned in, kissing her against her soft lips gently.
"I'll always be there no matter what. Through thick and thin." Smiling, Ruthie pulled him in closer to her.
"That's what marriage will do. We'll be there for each other until…well, you know." They shared a laugh. Ben reached over and touched Ruthie's cheek gently.
Looking into his blue eyes, she melted. He really did love her.
--
They planned to marry as soon as possible. Ruthie thought it would be amazing if they were able to marry somewhere where it was cold and had snow. Problem was, the carnival rarely ever traveled to anywhere with a colder climate. Ben smiled when Ruthie expressed her dream to be wed in a winter wonderland. He always wondered what snow was like. Jonesy had told him once about what snow was like, he had experienced a snow day once while he played ball. Ben remembered the story Jonesy had told him, and Ruthie smiled.
"Yeah, that's what snow's like. Saw it once or twice. It was mighty pretty, that's for sure."
Ben wrapped his arms around Ruthie, and they looked out the window. It was dusty, with lots of dirt being blown around. Not exactly their picture perfect dream.
"We'll figure out something, don't worry sweetheart." He smiled. Ruthie nodded. She already had a dress picked out, it wasn't white, but she didn't give a damn. Ben was still unsure of what he would wear. The wedding was a few months away, so there was time to think things out and plan.
Jonesy offered to be Ben's best man, and Libby offered to be maid of honor. Samson offered to walk Ruthie down the aisle; after all he was a close friend who she felt that it would be right. Gabe would be the ring bearer; he was excited that he was part of the festivities. Leaning up, Ruthie smiled at Ben.
Ben leaned downward and kissed her. She looked into his eyes, and kissed him back.
"I love you." Ruthie mouthed. Ben smiled.
"Love you too, Ruthie." She allowed herself to fall into his arms, and he held her close to him. Ben could hear her breathing and sighed contentedly. Taking his hand in hers, she led him over to her large bed, and sat down. Ben sat himself down next to her, and she took his hands in hers. Ruthie looked deep into his eyes, and smiled.
"Come here, Ben and sit closer." He nodded and scooted himself closer to her. She took him in her arms and he laid his head against her chest.
Ruthie smiled and lifted his thermal shirt a little to look. She pointed to the faint line of his scar on his abdomen.
"You seem to be healin' alright. Scar's barely visible."
Ben nodded. "All thanks to my Ruthie." Ruthie smiled and blushed, her face turning a faint shade of pink.
"Aw, you're so kind." She kissed him on his cheek. He grinned.
"You were there, nursin' me back to health. Ruthie, you were my shinin' light those days that I was in pain. Holding me in your arms, tellin' me everything was goin' to be alright." she gently rustled his messy blonde hair.
"No one else would help me. But, I was glad I was there. She held him in her arms. He smiled. "I was grateful, all those nights you were there…" Ben trailed off, and Ruthie embraced him in a hug.
"I did a good job, didn't I? Nursin' you back to health?"
Ben kissed her on the lips. "Sure did."
Ruthie was pleased. All those nights tending to Ben's wound, cleaning it, changing the bandage, had paid off. In the process, they grew closer together. Taking her in his arms, he looked down at her, allowing his fingers to touch her porcelain skin. Touching her chin, he leaned in, and kissed her on the lips. Parting, she smiled.
"Even if we don't get our dream wedding, at least we still have each other." Ruthie traced her finger gently against Ben's chest. Smiling, Ben held her close to him.
"That, we do." They shared a passionate kiss, which led to Ruthie slipping her tongue down Ben's throat again. Ben ran his fingers through her hair, as they kissed fervently. Gently, he pushed her down on the feather bed. Unbuttoning her blouse carefully, he cupped his hands gently around her breasts, gently squeezing them. She moaned softly in pleasure, her breathing becoming heavy. Ben could feel her hot breath against his ear, whispering sweet nothings that made him smile.
"It's been a while, hasn't it my dear?" she smiled.
"It has, Ruthie. Been way too long since we made love of any kind." She arched her back, and slowly made her way up towards where Ben laid. Running her fingers through his hair, she leaned in closer, her breasts pushing against his chest gently. His arms clasped around her waist and he pressed her close to him. She pressed her lips against his, and kissed him passionately once again. Ruthie murmured softly.
"I missed you, Ben." Ruthie said, tracing her finger lightly against his bare chest. Her stomach pressed against the scar and he winced.
"Careful, Ruthie. Still healing." She swooped towards the scar, like a hawk, lightly brushing her lips against the fading scar kissing it.
"Sorry." She slowly wrapped her arms around him, and embraced him.
"You're in a good mood." Ben chuckled. Ruthie kissed his cheek and whispered softly, "I'm just happy you're here with me. Glad that the secret was finally let out." She laid her head against his shoulder.
Ben held her closer to him, running his fingers slowly through her hair, which cascaded down her shoulders. His index finger twirled one of her curls, twisting slowly around his finger. She looked into his eyes, smiling sweetly.
"Remember when we first met? It feels like so long ago."
Ben laughed. "I just remember us avoiding each other."
She smiled. "I wasn't avoidin' you. You seemed skittish around me after we made love that one night."
"I don't think I realized how much I loved you." Ben put his arms around her.
"You're so sweet." She reached her hand up to where his hands were and she took his hand in hers. Affectionately, he squeezed it gently.
Ruthie looked up at Ben. He had a smile on his face. She smiled, and he took both hands in his own.
"You know I love you more now than I did then." She nodded.
"We developed closeness to each other when I was taking care of you. You never wanted me to leave you." Ruthie placed a hand on Ben's thigh, listening attentively to what it was he had to say. Staring deep into his eyes, she smiled.
"So, where we headin' for our next show?" Ruthie knew Ben pretty much directed the course of the carnival, and usually told her first. He had yet to tell the others, but Samson and Jonesy knew.
"Las Vegas." Ruthie smiled.
"Ah yes. Sinner's paradise." She chuckled. Ben smiled.
"I've heard stories of people goin' there to marry. They have lots of wedding chapels. Fast marriages, they say." Ruthie stared at him, a bit speechless.
"You hintin' at something, babe?" she brushed her hand against his cheek, feeling the roughness of his stubble lightly scratching against the palm of her hand. Ben smiled, placing his hand on top of hers.
"I was thinkin' that maybe we could, while we're there, elope." Ruthie looked at him, her mouth opened in shock. That shock soon turned to excitement.
"I can't believe we're doing this." Ruthie wrapped her arms around Ben, hugging him.
"Same here. I love you." Ben smiled. At least they'd get some sort of wedding. Ruthie never thought this would have ever happened between the two of them. They had started out apart from each other but after the injury Ben had sustained, grew closer and formed a bond that became stronger and stronger every since. She tended to his injuries, cared for him daily, which was something none of the others did. Sure, Jonesy and some visited him, but Ruthie was the one that stayed with him. She would sleep by his bedside, and hold his hand as he winced in pain from the injury. He had improved, now he was able to do most things without a problem arising.
A smile formed on Ruthie's face. She was happy that he was happy.
"I love you too." Ruthie mouthed, her eyes welling up with tears. Ben leaned forward, brushing the stray tear from her eye.
"Don't cry…" Ben whispered, stroking her long hair gently. Ruthie pressed herself against his chest, breathing in his scent lightly.
"I'm not." She sniffled.
Handing her the handkerchief, she blew her nose then set in her dress pocket. Kissing his cheek, she smiled.
"Thanks, darling." He grinned.
"No problem." Ruthie smiled and touched his cheek with the palm of her hand. Ben took her other hand, and placed it on his leg. Setting his own hand on top, his fingers grasped her hand in his own and squeezed it gently.
"Ruthie, sweetheart…we'll make it through alright. We made it this far, so I'm sure we'll make it." Her fingers reached for his hand, and brushed lightly against the skin of his work worn hand. She could feel the scars of years of hard work.
Smiling, she kissed his hand gently.
"I know, babe. We will."
--
Preparing for their upcoming wedding was not an easy task, especially when both of them were equally as busy with their jobs. Ruthie and Ben tried their hardest to decide on everything from where they were going to meet after the wedding, all the way to what flowers Ruthie wanted.
"This is so hard, with both of us busy as a bee." Ruthie quipped one day, over supper, which they had decided to take in the trailer together. They did that from time to time, which helped them to spend quality time alone.
"True." Ben said, spooning another mouthful of food in his mouth. Across the table she reached for his hand and squeezed it.
"I think we got most things settled, it's just the little things." He swallowed, and spoke.
"How many more days do we have left?" Ben looked down at his plate, dragging his fork across the dish, pushing food around. He was stressed. Ruthie noticed he was stressing. She knew he was worried about the money. Samson had loaned them some cash to subsidize until they could get some more. Ruthie only made so much, and there was no way in hell that she'd ever return to snake charming. After that experience a few years back, she did not want to be reminded of it.
"We have a week, honey…stop stressing." She walked up behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders. Slowly she massaged his shoulders, her thumbs pressing against his shoulder blades.
"You're so tense…relax." Ruthie continued her thumbs and index fingers kneading the stress out of his shoulders. Ben seethed in pain; she had just hit a tender spot.
"Ouch. Try to be careful, sweetheart." He winced, and she smiled.
"I am, my dear." Ruthie leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Ben turned his head around and faced her, smiling.
"I'm just worried about how we'll afford a wedding. The income between the two of us is just barely covering the living expenses and…" Ben sighed.
Ruthie looked at him and frowned. "I know, dear…isn't it why we opted to elope in the first place? We weren't planning on some huge shindig afterwards." Looking up at her, he smiled.
"That's right…with all the craziness going on around here, I forgot. Sorry, dear." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.
"Quite alright." she walked over to the coat rack, and picked up her coat.
"I should be headin' out. Libby wants me to help her with somethin' before tonight's show. She's working with Gabe tonight…I have the night off." Placing her finger to her cheek, a thought came to mind.
"What are you doing tonight, by the way?" the question came as quite a surprise to Ben. Smiling he looked at her.
"Well, now that I think of it, nothing. Why?"
He wondered why she'd ask such a question. Ruthie and him had lived together for the last month or so, and she almost always knew where he was going to be. Slinking up next to him, she came close to his ear, and whispered," I thought we'd spend some time together." Smiling seductively, Ruthie placed her finger against his chest and traced against it lightly.
Leaning in, Ruthie kissed Ben on the lips, and then parted.
"See you later. I won't be long." Ruthie opened the trailer door, and walked out.
--
Ben waited for Ruthie's return. Tidying up the trailer, he figured it would keep him busy. Ben dusted the table, made their bed, and cleaned up a bit. While he cleaned, Ruthie returned.
"Thanks babe, everything looks lovely." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek, and then walked over to remove her coat and hang it up. Sauntering over to where he was standing, she smiled.
"I have the night off tonight. Libby's going take over for me tonight as talker for Gabe, so we've got time together." She leaned in and touched his cheek lightly with the palm of her hand.
"You okay, sweetheart? Tonight you seem out of it." Ruthie's hand now lay gently against his chest. Ben looked down at her, his hand grasping the ringlets in her hair.
"Tired, dear…that's all." Ruthie nodded and went to sit on the bed. Sitting down, she patted a spot next to her.
"Sit, dear." He smiled and walked over. Ben could use a rest after all of the cleaning he did. Ruthie put an arm around him, and leaned in closer to him. He could feel her breasts push against his chest. Then, she kissed him.
Ben sat there, speechless. Then he did the unthinkable.
He returned her kiss, and this time passionately, and with a bit of force. She fell naturally into his arms, and Ben stroked her hair gently as he pressed his lips against her neck. Ruthie moaned softly, murmuring, "That's good, darling. You know where to start." Ben smiled and gently nipped and sucked against her neck. Moving slowly towards her cleavage, she smiled. Ben kissed the tops of her breasts lightly as Ruthie shivered.
He stopped and looked at her, staring deep into her eyes. Finally, Ruthie spoke.
"Come here. " Ben smiled, and willingly came over. She hugged him close to her, and he gently touched her back, feeling the indentations run across his hand. Tugging lightly, Ruthie pulled at Ben's thermal shirt, fumbling to undo the buttons. Slowly and carefully, she undid the buttons on his shirt, exposing his chest.
"Are you up for it tonight?" Carefully she pulled his shirt off and threw it against a nearby chair. It swung and landed flat.
Ben shrugged. "Sure." He held her close in his arms, arms around her waist. Pressing her closer to him, he looked down into her eyes.
This was the woman he was going to marry. She may be older, but he loved her regardless.
Ruthie laid her head against his chest, her fingers resting gently against his skin. Ben smiled, stroking her hair gently. Slowly his hand slipped up her blouse, feeling the softness of her cool skin. Ben was tempted. At least that's how he felt. His hand slipped upwards towards her breast, and slowly, he allowed his hand to brush against the skin. It felt smooth and supple. Ruthie shuddered, and she peeled off her blouse, exposing her bare breasts to him. She slowly removed her skirt and boots, throwing them across the room, only to land where his shirt and boots laid. Touching her cheek with his finger, he leaned in and kissed her, pushing her against a wall. She smiled and returned his kiss, this time, slipping her tongue down his throat. They began to kiss passionately, him running his fingers through her hair which was now a mess, and her, wrapping her arms around his waist, only to grab his ass. They fumbled around the trailer, until they approached the large feather bed, and that was when Ben gently pushed her to the bed.
Ruthie looked up, smiling. His blue eyes looked into hers, and he ran his fingers through her hair, and then slowly reached down and cupped her large breasts in his hand. He pressed his face against them, then looked up and watched her reaction. Carefully Ben played with her breasts, lavishing each nipple lightly with his tongue. Slowly, his hands covered the roundness of the breasts. They were firm and soft. Ruthie moaned softly as he nipped and sucked at them. He then kissed her lightly against her neck, and she continued, the sounds increasing. Ruthie smiled, and said,
"Let me now." She reached for him, and stroked him gently. Ben could be heard purring in Ruthie's ear, and she smiled as she planted a kiss on his lips, slipping her tongue in his mouth again.
They kissed passionately again, and his hands reached below her waist making Ruthie cry out. She gasped, a sound came out that was loud. Ben placed a finger to her lips.
"Hush, sweetheart. We don't want everyone to know what we're doing, right." Ruthie mustered a nod, and whispered huskily, "It's okay." She could not say much more than that, a flush came rushing through her body. Ruthie could only smile and continued to stroke the tip with her thumb and index finger. Slowly and carefully, she guided him to her, moving against each other slowly and carefully. Ruthie could hear Ben grunting against her ear as she murmured softly. The murmurs turned to gasps, and Ruthie tried to keep as quiet as she could. Ben ran his fingers through her hair, his fingers slowly moving through her hair, grasping strands. Finally, she whispered in his ear what he wanted to hear escape her mouth.
"Ben…"
Ruthie gasped again, and fell into his arms, Ben smiling.
"That was great." Ruthie smiled, and nuzzled Ben gently.
Ruthie sighed in approval. She looked over at Ben only to find he fell asleep. Smiling sweetly, she pulled the covers over both of them and snuggled in close to Ben, closing her eyes.
"Goodnite, my love." Ruthie said, whispering softly, her voice barely audible.
--
A loud bang woke them up.
Ruthie placed the sheets to her body to cover her naked upper half as Ben rushed to see what it was that woke them up. Peering out the window, Ben noticed that it was one of the trucks. Ruthie looked at him nervously, her eyes showing signs of worry.
"What is it, love?" Ben rushed over to comfort her. He knew she was scared. Rubbing her bare back gently, he smiled.
"Tire blew out. Why don't we try and get some sleep."
Ruthie bit her lip nervously. Ben noticed this, and motioned for her to come closer.
"Come here, sweetheart." She snuggled close and he took her in his arms. Closing her eyes, she smiled, placing her hand on his. He clasped his fingers around hers and closed his eyes. Soon, they both fell asleep. Hours passed and Ruthie's eyes fluttered open. She turned to find Ben still asleep. Slowly she got up, clasping the silk bedsheets to cover her nakedness.
Slipping her silk bathrobe over her and tying it, she walked over to her makeshift bar, pouring herself some orange juice. Sipping it, she watched her soon to be husband sleep. After fifteen whole minutes of pure silence, Ben awoke.
"Morning, sweetheart." Ben said his voice groggy. Ruthie came over and ran her fingers through his hair.
"How are you, sweetheart?" she smiled, kissing his forehead. Ben smiled.
"Good. How are you?" Ruthie fumbled with her robe, smiling.
"Same old, same old. Last night was something, wasn't it?" Ruthie quipped, putting her arm around Ben. He responded to her question with a kiss.
"It was." Taking her hand, he squeezed it gently.
--
It was the day to remember.
Ruthie adjusted her dress. It was not white; she of course was not following tradition. It did not matter to her in the slightest.
"Only the purest wear white." She muttered under her breath as she reached down to put her shoes on. Ben entered the hallway, adjusting his bowtie. She looked up to find him staring at her.
"Isn't it bad luck to see each other before the wedding?" she chuckled. Ben put an arm around her shoulder.
"I don't believe in that superstition." He laughed.
Ruthie elbowed him playfully. "Actually, neither do I."
They shared a laugh and Ruthie kissed him gently on the cheek. "Come on boy, we have a wedding to attend…our own!" Ben scurried out the door before she did so no other carnie would notice him breaking that sacred rule. Most everyone believed it was bad luck.
Only Ben and Ruthie shared the belief that it was just pure superstition.
--
Nervously, Ben adjusted his tie. It was surreal to him what was going to occur next.
The wedding was beautiful. Despite the fact that Lila decided she just had to make it a living hell for Ben. It took until halfway through the wedding to get Lila to shut her trap, when Samson and Sabina nearly jumped her just to cover her mouth. She was overly objecting to the fact that Ben and Ruthie were going to be husband and wife. Ruthie, the whole time, sneered at Lila.
Mouthing, under her breath to Lila, she said, "You better watch it…"
Finally, Lila shut her mouth and slumped into the chair silently. Ruthie smirked.
"That's better." She turned to Ben and grinned.
"Let's begin before any more distractions occur." Taking his hands in her own, she slipped the ring on his finger.
"I take you to be my husband." Ben smiled and took her hand and slipped the ring he carried in his pocket on her finger.
"I take you to be my loving wife." Everyone clapped and cheered, minus Lila who was sulking in her seat. Ben and Ruthie leaned in and kissed. Clearing his throat, the minister made his speech.
"By the power invested in me, and the state of Nevada, I pronounce you man and wife."
Looking at the couple, the minister laughed.
"You can continue to kiss the bride." Ben and Ruthie paused, with her turning quite the shade of red. Ben smirked, and turned to Ruthie and planted a kiss on her lips. She smiled and pulled him in closer.
Oh how she wanted him right here, right now.
She smirked. Ben smiled. He seemed to know what she was thinking about. But they couldn't.
They just couldn't. Not here in front of all their friends. Leaning over to whisper in her ear, Ben said, "Later."
Ruthie grinned and he held out his hand to her. Taking it, they walked out of the chapel. They walked out to people throwing rice and sending their well wishes. Ruthie climbed into the truck, and Ben got at the wheel.
"You ready for our honeymoon, darling?" Ruthie laughed.
"What do ya mean, honeymoon? We'll be in our trailer and someone's gonna come barging in. They will never leave us alone."
Ben smiled."Sure they will. I'll make 'em."
Ruthie burst out in laughter. "How the hell you gonna do that?"
Ben put a hand on her thigh. "Trust me, we'll find a way to get time alone." He leaned in to kiss his new wife.
That kiss alone silenced her. She smiled, and pointed to the road.
"What are we waitin' for? Let's get back to the trailer." Ben floored it, the sounds of the engine and clanking cans courtesy of Sabina, Jonesy, and Libby clanking behind them.
--
He ran his hand through her hair, which fell in ringlets against her bare shoulders. Pressing his nose against her skin, the familiar scents of her perfume wafted up towards his nose.
"Mm..." Ben murmured his voice just barely audible. Ruthie smiled and leaned in to embrace him.
"Come here, sweetheart." Ben leaned closer and she pointed to her lips.
"Kiss me." He smiled and kissed her gently. Parting for a moment they shared a look. Then he pulled her in closer and put his arms around her and continued to kiss her. Making his way down her neck, she moaned softly, leaning up to whisper, "You really know how to please a woman."
Ben smiled and kissed her against the nape of her neck again, which once again elicited a soft moan from deep within. Slowly and carefully he made his way towards her breasts. Gently, he placed his hands underneath them and pushed them up towards his face. Kissing them, she moaned again, this time, louder and much more audible. Ben pushed her down to the bed, and slowly unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her breasts.
With a finger he explored her, teasing her nipples with his thumb and index finger. Ruthie tried so hard to not cry out, but when his hand reached and touched her flat stomach, her restraint was growing weaker, and she was desperate to not cry out. He reached lower and she arched her back, leaning in closer to him, showering kisses and nibbling gently against his shoulder. The lower he went, she inched closer to him.
It was so hard to believe he was still quite young. Ruthie couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she just lolled her head back and enjoyed it.
Hell, it had been years since she had any real male attention. She was starting to wonder if she was still attractive enough.
Ben took her in his arms, and she ran her fingers through Ben's hair. Pressing herself into his chest, she allowed him to stroke her hair. Slowly he did just that, and then reached to trace the indentations of her spine lightly. Ruthie shuddered.
"My god, that feels amazing." Ruthie managed to choke out. She wished he would just take her in already.
Reaching for him, a groan escaped from him. Smiling, she stroked it gently.
"I'm ready for you when you are, sweetheart." Ben sighed and carefully thrust himself within. The gasps that escaped from her mouth were loud, but Ben so desperately wanted to hear her. He wanted to hear her say his name.
Ruthie's lips pressed lightly against his ear. Her body was against his, pressing closer and closer, moving against his rhythm. He was able to keep up with her. Finally she reached her moment, and the words Ben so desperately wanted to hear escape her lips came.
"Ben..."
Ruthie said, huskily as she gritted her teeth, attempting furiously to not cry out loudly. She didn't want the others to hear her. He could hear her heavy breathing in his ear, and a smile curled on his face.
She smiled, looking ever so adorable. Ben continued what he was doing, and Ruthie whimpered softly, closing her eyes. She was trying so hard to hold back…but it didn't exactly work. A shrill cry escaped from her lips, and her fingernails dug clean into Ben's shoulder blade. He didn't feel it until she retracted but the feeling of euphoria made him smile. Looking up, Ruthie noticed she left pretty noticeable marks on his shoulder.
"Oh dammit." She kissed them lovingly, promising him that after their lovemaking, she'd get the rubbing alcohol and clean those wounds, which now were a bright red. Ben kissed her on the lips.
"It's okay. Now where were we?" She touched his stubble, which felt rough to her palm. Ben kissed her on the lips smiling.
"Here."
She smiled and laughed, taking him in her arms. Passionately, she kissed him, slipping her tongue down his throat. Ben thoroughly enjoyed this moment. It was their first as husband and wife.
His hands slipped carefully again under her breasts, pressing her body close to his. Ben could feel the heat radiating off of Ruthie's sweat soaked body against his chest. Her hand reached to touch his fading scar on his abdomen. It was healing quite nicely, she noticed. Lightly she traced her fingertip across the fair line that was fading slowly.
She grinned as she rested her head against his shoulder. Ruthie rested her hand against his chest. Ben smiled and leaned in to kiss his new wife, who was enjoying all this attention.
"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" he smiled, stroking her hair.
Ruthie smiled. "Hell, we've barely been intimate since we've started dating. I'm thinkin' we're making up for lost time." She snuggled close to him, nuzzling him with her nose gently against his nose. Ben grinned.
"I love you." He took her face in his hands and kissed her openly on the mouth. Parting lips, she looked up at him, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
"I love you too."