A/N I suggest listening to the song if you have not heard it before: /watch?v=jbljhS4xDlU
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to the BBC and I reluctantly admit a minor percentage belongs to Starz.
Jack
He couldn't see a way forward; it was far too painful.
When nothing could be seen but darkness he could survive.
But the darkness never lasted.
He felt it, every second of it, all the tears branded into his heart as he was hauled with such an ache back to life.
There Is No Future
He could not forget his lost… whatever Ianto Jones had been. 'Couple'. Were they partners? He did not know. Did not care. Could not care.
This was the man who had smirked and flirted his way into Jack's bed with his godly coffee and perfect suits: neither man had a motive above confirming they were alive. Then it had developed…
Despite it being good, despite the empty space that now existed, despite Jack's true feelings, and despite the sickness Jack felt when presented a mug of coffee, he had to move on. Dwelling in the past did nothing for an immortal man.
There Is No Past
Ianto
Lisa… She had betrayed him as he had betrayed Jack. Together- he had thought- they were working to keep her alive. But no, Lisa had not fought as hard as him; she had embraced the cyber-cage she was trapped within. Doing so allowed Ianto to die for the first time.
Though Jack had not lost faith and saved him, Jack's reward? Ianto to run from his arms and place the team's lives in danger yet again- his thoughts consumed with Lisa and making her human.
Thank God This Moment's Not The Last
Once Lisa was gone Ianto stood on his own and, as a result, stayed with Jack for company during the cold nights spent in the hub working his way to exhaustion.
There's Only Us
This was when it started, predictably. Ianto, weakened to the point of pain, had collapsed into tears in front of his boss. Had Jack not been so comforting Ianto knew it could have been the most awkward moment of his life.
However, Jack helped him, giving him a meaning and a purpose. In return, Ianto strived to bring out the human in Jack, as well as accepting the 'monster' he believed he was. A relationship… of sorts.
There's Only This
He knew Jack tried, oh he tried so hard, too hard, not to let the ruthless decisions he made get him down but he could not do it. Not wholly.
Jasmine, the chosen girl, demonstrated this with perfect precision. She was when they became equals- Ianto nursed Jack back into living, made him feel worthwhile again.
Forget Regret Or Life Is Yours To Miss
Being with Torchwood permitted no chance of a normal life, Ianto would undoubtedly die soon. The pair knew and dreaded it. Not that this stimulated them to make more of their time. They were continually headed towards the end and still remained continuously in the shadows of what they felt.
No Other Road No Other Way
No Day But Today
Jack
Cursed with immortality Jack could not blame those who caused him the suffering as he loved them so, nonetheless, he saw negatives more frequently than the positives.
I Can't Control
My Destiny
He'd lived so long, had so many lives. It was time for another one and this time his barriers were thicker. This time no one would break though- Ianto had penetrated the façade, consequently hurting Jack.
I Trust My Soul. My Only Goal Is Just To Be.
Jack could move on, he had to move on. He could find other lovers.
Without You…
One night stands as he roamed the stars.
The Hand Gropes…
The Ear Hears…
He would continue. Jack had to.
The Pulse Beats…
Life Goes On
Then he would pause.
But I'm Gone.
One night the random and relentless shagging would end. Captain Jack would be forced to admit it.
Cause I Die.
And only on these lonely, cold nights would Jack allow himself to feel.
Without You
These were the times Jack would allow himself to love again.
Ianto
Ianto wondered when Jack would turn to him and tell him it was over. He was no longer interesting. He dreaded the day: Jack was all he had.
Will I Lose My Dignity
Would the team see? Would Jack be sorry? Would he move on…To Gwen? Someone like her? Would he make Ianto stand, unaccompanied, his days numbered, and watch?
Will Someone Care
Then…Tosh and Owen… The 456… Hearing Jack reject him even as he died. He wished, in that moment, he too could be immortal.
Will I Wake Tomorrow From This Nightmare
It was painful to watch and hear. He knew what Jack really meant. In a twisted way Ianto understood Jack loved him and he understood he didn't want Ianto giving up. But when it was so dam obvious he was going to die couldn't Jack admit it, merely once?
There's Only Now...
Just three words.
There's Only Here...
While the government watched.
Give In To Love...
Just say it Jack.
Or Live In Fear...
Why did he have to die and still not know for sure?
Ianto knew he couldn't. Jack simply couldn't do it. It made Ianto love him all the more.
No Other Path...
No Other Way...
No Day But Today
And then…
Ianto Jones said goodbye
To the world
To his friends
To his family
No Day But Today
To Jack.