Summary: Natasha and Bruce both have trust issues, but they also won't let Ross's machinations, Bruce's feelings about his alter ego, or Natasha being forced to break a promise come between them. Everything seems upside down, but sometimes that needs to happen.
Notes: This is a Special Needs flashback story that does involve romance, but otherwise has nothing to do with Valentine's Day. It fits in between Logan's first training visit at the tower and leads into the first visit to Tony's lodge and quarry lake property upstate, and it would fall on Friday, August 28, 2015, or almost four months after Age of Ultron. These are my versions of the characters after 58+ chapters of development, so do not expect them to be exactly like the Avengers films.
Thank you to my wonderful Beta-Reader, Autumn_Froste, who writes some excellent pieces of her own, which you should check out on AO3.
Part One of Three
Trust Me: Natasha and Bruce
Friday, August 28, 2015
"Come on, Bruce, move it!" Natasha urged him over the coms as he slid over the top of the final wall and dropped to the muddy pit below. As the shitty coup de grâce to a shitty day, he managed to turn his ankle in the muck and stumbled over the finish line in what he was sure was a shitty course time just as the rain went from drizzle to downpour. Logan and Natasha had chewed his ass up one side and down the other of the military training course. In Logan's case, it was over the loudspeaker system. Bruce knew some of this was for the benefit of the people watching from behind the closed-circuit cameras and in the control booth, but he had to admit it was getting to him enough that he didn't have to "stay in character" to look pathetic because he felt tired and miserable and his temper was getting ready to flare. Today they were scheduled for an outdoor Parkour session—a rare trip outside the tower he'd secretly looked forward to for weeks, but Ross's people had pulled a surprise evaluation—something they had the right to demand twice, so they'd ended up spending the afternoon in New Jersey on a military base, using an advanced training area he guessed was for secret ops or some other elite squad. Not exactly how he wanted to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon that was sliding into a cold, wet evening.
The water and mud dripped off of him, and his ankle was beginning to throb as he stood there a minute catching his breath. The sprain would heal up quickly, but right now he needed to get it iced and elevated just in case it was something worse. Unfortunately, it looked like he was going to get poked and prodded a bit first. He could see Natasha and Logan having a rather heated discussion with Ross's people and a few oversight board members inside the observation room. Bruce hadn't been dismissed, but he'd had about all he could take. He hobbled over to a bench and pulled off his right cross-trainer to look at the damage. Sure enough, there was swelling along the top and side with a clear hint of burgundy and purple bruising. He looked around, but there wasn't much by way of amenities in the immediate area.
The door of the observation room burst open and Nat and Logan marched out and slammed the door behind them. "Let's go," she ordered from under her slicker's hood, and Bruce hardly got his bare foot shoved back into his ruined athletic shoe before Logan grabbed his shoulder on the injured side and quickly slipped under his arm to support him as they walked swiftly back in the direction of Avengers Quinjet 2. Bruce didn't say anything as the shorter man half carried and nearly dragged him forward into the intensifying rain. It was all too obvious something had gone seriously wrong and there were going to be repercussions. He noted Logan wasn't wearing a bit of raingear at all. Bruce's next thought was to wonder how he'd fucked something up, but he knew there was no way this had much to do with how well or poorly he'd performed on the course. It was something above his head that he likely had no control over. He had to trust Natasha and Logan to do what needed to be done.
Lightening lit up the sky overhead and a thunderclap quickly followed. This didn't bother Bruce so much, but he was being manhandled by someone whose bones were laced with metal, and that gave him pause. He'd wanted to avoid bringing out Hulk, but he wasn't at all certain he could avoid that if there was a direct hit. He opened their senses and lines of communication up as much as he could to try and give the Other Guy some lead-time to be ready. As reluctant as he was to have much to do with him, Bruce was going to need to trust the Hulk.
Natasha was about six yards ahead of them when they skirted a World War II era Quonset hut made of corrugated steel and held together with decades of paint and tar. As she cleared the end of the old barrel-shaped building, she turned her head and the lightening flashed as she said, "Trust me, Bruce." He barely had time to register what she said when he heard an explosion that wasn't thunder and felt the ground moving beneath him and realized Logan had turned loose of his arm. Bruce let go of his control and gave himself completely over to Hulk's instincts, which said to push Logan clear of the impending blast and whatever was going on beneath them. Next, he had to protect Natasha and remove them both from the immediate area.
In the split second it took the plan to form, his body had expanded painfully fast, and he scooped up Logan with a large green hand and launched him into the air like a cannonball away from the forming pit. That should put him clear of the danger zone and the X-Man's healing factor ought to take care of any resulting damage from the rough landing. Bruce felt himself mentally shoved to the side as Hulk took over and fought he way free of the collapsing section of earth to Natasha's side. It was her turn to barely register what he was doing in time to react. He swept her into his arms and made another leap to put them beyond the pending lightening strike and collapsing booby-trap. Hulk cradled and curled around Natasha, held her to his chest, and knelt as the ground sunk and crashed inward behind them and lightening hit the nearby metal Quonset hut. The racket of electrified wet metal and collapsing earth was rather spectacular and pelted his back with debris.
Hulk held still, kneeling with his broad back to the catastrophe, and braced for further explosions or disasters—natural or not. The rain continued to come down. He could feel Natasha was shaking, so after he'd waited a sufficient amount of time, Hulk finally loosened his protective grip. She seemed all right as she looked up at him. "You, okay?" he asked her.
"Yes, I'll be fine, Big Guy. I'm so proud of you."
"Why?" he asked.
"It's a long story. I just did something I swore I'd never do again to prove how far you've come—that you can handle yourself in an unexpected situation. Unfortunately, Bruce may never forgive me."
Hulk looked at her skeptically as she climbed down out of his arms. "Bruce forgives. Bruce loves you." He was relieved his words were there and his thinking was clearing thanks to Bruce surrendering all the communication and intelligence he could. He'd also claimed all the pain he could, which Hulk had warned him not to do. Quit being a masochist, Hulk grumbled at him, but he wasn't sure Bruce heard.
Natasha wrapped her arms around her middle. "Bruce trusts me, too, but maybe he shouldn't. Those assholes sprang this on us, hoping something awful would take place and you'd hurt me. If that didn't happen, they wanted to drive a wedge between us. I'm certain of that."
"Well, you're okay. I didn't go on a bender. We ought to check on Logan, but I'm sure he's had a lot worse," Hulk surmised with a sniff. He only trusted Logan as far as he could throw him, but that had turned out to be several hundred yards. The irony certainly amused him.
"I know. You're right. Let's find him and get out of the rain."
"Is that all there is to this test? Big boom and collapse the pit under us?"
"Yes, the rain and the lightening was the whipped cream and cherry on top, but it wasn't part of their plan."
"All right. Just checking." Hulk had a pretty good idea where the feisty X-Man had landed, so they dodged around a few outbuildings and found him heading back in their direction through an adjacent field. The rain hadn't quit, but it was starting to let up.
"That might have been fun if you'd given me a little warning, Big Green," Logan grumbled as they approached. He'd somehow managed to keep his well-worn cowboy hat intact, but his jeans were almost as mud-covered as Hulk and Bruce's uniform pants.
"Sorry. I was afraid you were going to get fried and include me in the 'fun'," Hulk explained. He was trying hard to keep a straight face.
Logan snorted, "Yah, you've got a point. Nice to hear you this articulate."
"Bruce knew something was about to happen, so he gifted me all the communication skills he could."
"Interesting," Logan said as he squinted up at the jade giant. "We'll have to talk about this more later. Looks like you two are okay, and neither of you murdered each other. Screw Ross and his prissy ass rep for coming up with this." He spat onto the ground in disgust.
"Do we need to check back with them before we leave?" Natasha asked.
"I'll take care of it," Logan said. "They've fucked around with you both enough for one day. Now they get to deal with me."
"Thanks, I appreciate it," Natasha told him. "Do you need a ride?"
"Nope, my bike is back under an awning at the gate. Go home! You've earned it." He turned to head back to the observation area then paused and looked back. "Natasha, you did the right thing. The only way these bastards win is if they drive you apart. Banner may not be happy about it, but he'll understand your choice." Natasha nodded at her former mentor's words, but she was still worried about Bruce's possible reaction.
Hulk wanted to ask for details about what had happened in the observation room, but he thought he had the gist of what must have gone down. He knew from Bruce that his side had agreed to a couple of random stress tests to evaluate Bruce's and his control. That's how the afternoon had started out. Apparently, once they were on site, Ross's people had revealed they'd cooked up something more diabolical than putting Bruce through an obstacle course in the miserable rain. The use of live explosives to literally try and set him off had put Natasha and Logan between a rock and hard place. Either they cooperated and set Bruce and him up, or they admitted that both were still dangerous and unpredictable. Hulk wasn't certain how much the bastards knew about Sokovia and what had happened and the choice Natasha had made in that fortress when the city started to fly, but today's forced betrayal was certainly reminiscent of her sacrificing Bruce's autonomy to bring "the Big Guy" out in Sokovia.
Hulk could see Natasha's normally straight shoulders were sagging a bit. He could practically smell the waves of guilt coming off her. "Hey, 'Tasha, ride?" he asked, hoping to cheer her up or at least get her to talk.
"Sure."
He bent down on one knee and offered his hand as a foothold for her to step up his arm and mount his shoulders and neck. Even with her rain slicker, she was shivering again. He may have been more soaked than she was, but his body heat would help warm her up. "So, they forced your hand, and you feel like you've let Bruce down?"
"Don't let anyone say you aren't intuitive, Big Guy. Yes, but worse. I promised I'd not take Bruce's choice about transitioning away again, and that's basically what we did. I've collaborated with the enemy and broken my promise."
"Look, 'Tasha, Bruce knew something was up. He gave everything he could to me before the transformation, or I wouldn't be talking to you like this. He trusts you. Hell, he's finally started to trust me . . . mostly. He probably won't even think there is anything that needs forgiving on your part. He'll understand." Hulk couldn't see her face, but she stroked his damp hair through her fingers, and he could feel a little of the tension ease out of her. He took the long way around the warren of buildings they'd come past before, and they found AQ-2 where they'd left it next to the landing strip. He lowered himself to one knee, and Natasha dismounted and stepped lightly down his arm.
"I guess this is good-bye for now," she told him. "I'll make a point of being at your next therapy session."
"Thanks. I'm looking forward to it."
"Me, too."
"I probably won't be able to speak this well, but I'll know what you're saying."
Natasha nodded, "I know."
"Look," he said, scratching the back of his head, "Bruce is going to be pretty mad, but he's not mad at you. Let him yell. Take him home and work your frustrations out. He kind of over did it making sure I'd have control, so it's not going to be pleasant for him."
Natasha started laughing. She covered her mouth with her hand, but she couldn't stop. "I'm sorry. It's just that everything is turned around upside down. You're patient and calm and he's angry and I'm scared and Logan is cleaning up loose ends. What the fuck are we doing?!"
"I hadn't thought of it that way. I guess you're right." Hulk started to chuckle, too. They stood there laughing for a few minutes before they sobered up. "Time to go," he said and held out his hand to her. She traced his pulse points down his arm to his wrist, palm, and fingers. He felt the jolt like a switch had been thrown. Hulk brushed the side of her face with his index finger and collapsed onto his knees. He took all of the pain that he could as Bruce rushed back into control.
Bruce was so angry that he kept physically shaking even after the transition had ended. He'd pitched forward from his knees onto his hands, and he was so hot that steam was coming off his back. Natasha stepped closer to try and assist him, but he waved her off. He had to do this on his own. He got up and looked around until he located the nearest observation camera. He still felt hot and shaky, but mentally he was in perfect control. Bruce walked over to the pole where the camera was mounted as it tracked him.
His voice came out just above a harsh whisper over the rain. "You are never coming between us again. Understand? You're afraid of setting Hulk off when I'm the one you should be afraid of ticking off. You crossed a line. Never again."
With that, he gave the camera one last furious look before he turned and stalked back to the Quinjet and boarded it behind Natasha. As soon as the hatch was sealed, Bruce grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. His eyes weren't green, but they were very dark. "Friday, fly us back home. Privacy Level 11," he ordered in a hoarse voice. "I mean it, Natasha. Nothing comes between us." The surprise on her face eased, and he pressed his forehead to hers. He was still shaking. How could he be so vulnerable, yet absolutely dangerous all at once? Natasha thought
"I love you," she told him. He pulled her closer, and pressed his lips to hers. Natasha responded to their warmth and softness, but she could feel him shaking. Was it excitement, nervousness, or was he fighting some inner battle for control? She wasn't certain, so she kept kissing him as he took the slicker off her shoulders and let it drop to the deck. After a few deep breaths, he was steadier, but his hands felt clumsy as he fumbled with the zipper on her uniform until he had it unfastened down to her belt. Another couple of deep, steadying breaths, and he soon had the leather pulled off her shoulders. He kissed her neck gingerly as he unfastened her bra and stripped if off her. His hands went to her breasts and he squeezed and kneaded them before licking and sucking the nipples to attention. She thought Bruce finally seemed in control again.
"Friday?" she asked in a husky voice.
"Radiation is well within the acceptable range," the Interface responded.
Bruce growled and pulled her uniform down as she freed her arms and hips. He tugged at her boots, and they soon joined her raincoat on the deck. Natasha stepped out of the uniform, and he knelt down before her, burying his face in her Under Armour shorts then pulling the waistband down with his teeth. He finally yanked both sides of the undergarment with his fists and the shorts came apart. "Mine!" he snarled as he pressed his mouth to her cunt. She was already damp, but he wanted her good and wet. Her citrus on musk smell was driving him wild. She jumped as his tongue licked at her clit. He kept at it till Natasha grabbed his shoulders as she started to swoon and lose her balance from the dizzying stimulation.
The pallet he used after Hulk-outs was against the bulkhead, so he threw down a blanket and guided her gently down onto it. Natasha lay there panting, trying to catch her breath. With a swift jerking motion he pulled off and stepped out of his uniform pants. Bruce stood over her, and she stared up at him. He almost looked feral. His hair was in wild disarray, and he stood there completely naked except for the mud that still streaked his body everywhere his uniform hadn't covered. Bruce's cock was fully erect and ready for her. His movements had gone from rushed and shaky to a deliberately slow, stalking pace. His eyes were so dark and his stare so intense, she didn't dare break contact. She held her breath. He lowered himself to her level before crawling across the mattress to her. He kissed her foot and her calf and her knee and her hip and her stomach.
"Bruce?" she whispered.
"I'm here," he rasped, and he parted her legs. Bruce positioned his body over hers, and she could feel his erection rubbing at her mound. He was teasing her before he slid into her a few inches and then withdrew for a moment before doing it again.
"Please," she panted, thrusting her hips and then leaning up to kiss his jaw where the muscles were tensely working.
"All right. Whose love are you?" he quietly demanded.
"Yours. Only yours, Bruce." She reached up to stroke his mud-stained face and hair. "Nothing comes between us."
"My girl," he growled, and he thrust deep inside her. "No one comes between me and my girl."
"No one," she echoed. Natasha had admittedly been a little unnerved at first, but she trusted Bruce. He was channeling his anger now, and she wasn't about to fight his methods. Because Hulk had been nowhere near tired out, Bruce was also getting his excess energy on top of everything. No wonder he seemed at the edge of his limits. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he took hold of her hands and their fingers intertwined.
He started out slowly, still teasing her a bit, but he picked up the pace and began kissing her throat. He mouthed along her artery before clamping down lower on her neck on the left side. He didn't break the skin, but he was bruising her, marking her as he sucked hard. "I love you," he told her as he moved to the other side and took his time nipping and kissing her as he steadily burried his manhood in her. He was much more gentle as he marked the right side, but it would probably be just as dark.
"I want you to mark me," he said, so she found a clean spot on the left side and bit into him. "Yes!" he almost sobbed. She made sure the mark would be around long enough for him to see, healing factor or not.
Bruce moved his left hand down to her hip and crushed into her with his thrusts. She was getting close to coming. "That's my girl. Come over the edge with me," he whispered.
She writhed underneath him. He squeezed her breast and she came, warm and trembling. "Oh, God! Bruce, oh, Bruce!" She was so tight around him that he only took a few more thrusts before he let go.
"Natasha! My sweet, sweet Natasha!" His rage burnt itself out after he'd emptied himself into her. Bruce waited as they disentangled their limbs. She'd locked her ankles behind his back, and he was careful not to put his weight on her. As she let go, they separated, and he rolled to his right.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yes, I'll be okay," he assured her. "Did I hurt you?"
"No, not in a way that wasn't pleasurable." She shifted over to her left side so she could face him. "No regrets for either of us. You were a little scary, but nothing I'd kick out of my bed. The fact that you trust me enough to show me all of you just makes me love you more."
He'd rolled over on his side toward her. "I meant what I said. Nothing comes between us. They want to try and divide us, but it's not going to work."
"I think you made that quite clear to them, and I imagine Logan and Jenn will have driven it home and gotten it in writing."
Friday's voice came lilting over the intercom, "We will be approaching the tower in less than five minutes. Would it be appropriate to land or should I recalculate a more scenic approach?"
They looked at each other and the state of the passenger compartment. "Go ahead and land, Friday," Bruce instructed. "I think we can get put back together in time."
"Speak for yourself," Natasha said as she rolled to her feet and claimed the lavatory first.
Bruce took a little longer getting up, but he had all of the soiled clothing plus the blanket stuffed into an empty duffle very quickly. He pulled on a pair of dark shorts from the back of his locker. He'd be headed straight to the shower, so it wasn't even worth trying to clean up onboard. He found Natasha's duffle and pulled out a set of workout clothes for her. She hadn't shut the door, so he handed them in to her. She grinned at him in the mirror as she got dressed. "You are almost worth a picture."
"That bad, huh?" She took ahold of his hand and pulled him into the narrow space with her in front of the mirror. "Oh. I guess I was sort of rolling in the mud, wasn't I?"
"Yes, before, during, and after the explosion," she noted.
"I'd have thought the rain would have been a little more efficient," he said dryly.
"Nope, nature boy, you almost merit the use of the pressure hose."
His gaze settled on her wine-colored bite marks and bruises, which were not just on her neck, but a few were also on parts of her anatomy he barely remembered kissing, much less biting or marking. "Oh, Nat, what did I do to you?" Bruce lamented, afraid to touch her, yet too horrified and fascinated all at once to look away.
"Nothing I didn't sign up for. You had my consent, so don't even start with the guilt. Besides, I marked you pretty good, too." She reached up and turned his head, so he could see his own purple bruise marking the side of his neck reflected in the mirror.
"At least you bit me back," Bruce said and shook his head.
"Banner, if I didn't like you doing it, I'd have stopped you. Don't for a minute believe I wouldn't," she pointed out.
"Okay, you don't have to use your drill sergeant voice on me. I believe you," he responded and finally smiled.
They could feel the plane bank and set down on the landing pad. "Ms. Romanoff and Dr. Banner," Friday chimed in, "Mr. Stark will be meeting you on the pad."
"Thank you for the heads-up, Friday," Natasha said. Bruce had laid her slicker on the bench seats, and Natasha slipped back into it and the boots for the short walk from the jet's landing pad through the building and down to their apartment. Bruce had the three duffels rounded up. He hadn't bothered to put on his spare shoes or a rain jacket, despite the rainsquall having followed them home. It was only about 8:00pm, but it felt much later.
Tony had the deck attendants use the extended canopy, so they didn't get soaked a second time. He met them as soon as they stepped inside.
"Are you sure you don't want to go stand out in the rain a few more minutes, Bruce, because you could definitely use a presoak?"
"I think I need some soap first," Bruce said.
"Are you two all right? I was just on the phone with Jennifer. Ross's people basically lured you out to a former military base for a surprise inspection, put Bruce through an obstacle course, and then blew up part of the old buildings to get you to Hulk out?"
"Don't forget the part where they blackmailed Nat and Logan to lead me into their little surprise," Bruce said as he scratched his matted hair.
Tony raised his eyebrows and looked at Natasha for confirmation, and she nodded, not wanting to get into the details in front of Bruce just yet.
Bruce knew them both well enough to sense they needed to talk without him. "I'm going to get started on the shower before I feel any itchier," he said and headed down the hall to the elevator with the luggage before either of them could object.
Tony watched Bruce until he was out of sight. He stepped closer to Natasha, "Hey, I don't want to keep you from getting cleaned up, but what's going on?"
She took in a deep breath and held it for a moment. "We're both feeling a lot of guilt right now for different reasons. I broke my promise about not taking away his choices."
"But you didn't have a choice," Tony interrupted. "I read the transcript Jennifer sent already. They really thought Bruce was going to violently Hulk out and attack both you and Logan. They played dirty, but now we've got them. The Oversight Board is having a conference call right now."
"Good, maybe we can get some improvements out of this. I'm not sure it's going to make either of us feel better for a while though."
"Okay, I get that, but what's bothering Bruce?"
"It's private, but he came out of being Hulk very angry about the set up and still having to deal with a lot of unused Gamma energy and the pain on top of it. It's not a good combination."
"Okay," he said, thinking through the complications. "Go ahead. I won't keep you. Just have Friday page me if you need anything."
"Thanks, I'll let you know." Natasha headed down to their apartment, thoroughly surprised Tony hadn't made some remark about her looking like a chew toy. Bruce had already put the muddiest things to soak in the laundry and hung up her uniform, which might be salvageable. She hung up her slicker and left her clothes in the laundry room before stepping into their bedroom and the bathroom. Bruce was already in the shower lathered up with shampoo. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.
"Please do," he said as he turned in her direction. He leaned back his head under the water to rinse the soap off. She thought he looked unbelievably attractive, beautiful even. He was beautiful and broken and hurting, but he still wasn't giving up on her or them. Natasha had always thought of herself as the lethal one, the trained killer who housed a monster just under the attractive exterior. Yet, here she was loving someone willing to give up the parts of himself that he held dearest to make certain she was safe. For her sake, he finally trusted his alter ego. She stepped into his space and embraced him. "Well, hi there," he said, reacting with a bit of surprise and wrapping his arms around her. "You were cold earlier. Did I ever get you warmed up?"
"I could still use a little warming up," she admitted.
"Once I have you warm and clean, we're going to get in comfortable clothes, and I'm going to feed you eggs and toast and bacon until we can't eat anymore. Then we are going to cuddle the rest of the evening and not feel guilty about anything except maybe the bacon."
"That sounds positively heavenly," she told him, and he bent down and they kissed gently. "I trust you, Bruce."
"You know I trust you, Natasha. We're not perfect, but we're both trying. No person, no feeling, nothing comes between us, not even guilt."
"Now, that's the way I like to hear my lover talk," she said with a grin.
Tony picked that moment to break in over the speaker system. "I know you two are completely indisposed, but I thought you'd like to know the Oversight Board has ruled against Ross's people and there will be no second surprise test or spot check or any kind. Also, our request to spend a long weekend at my lodge upstate has finally been granted. Mark your calendars for two weekends from now. It's going to be a party at the lake!"
"Thank you and goodnight, Tony," Bruce said with a laugh.
"Goodnight!" he returned and the speaker's override clicked off.
"Well, he's right. This is cause to celebrate," Bruce noted with a raised eyebrow.
Natasha grinned. "Then we'll have cocoa!"
"Mmm, cocoa and cuddling after eggs and toast and bacon: sounds perfect."
She stood on her toes and kissed him. "Trust me. It is!"
End Notes: If you enjoyed this, please check out my much longer work, Special Needs: A Bruce and Natasha FanFic or the shorter related works.
Please let me know if you like this! I run on the encouragement. Comments, conversations, and questions are always welcome.
Next up, Adam and 'Anna!
Notice in Response to anonymous "review" posted and removed on 4 April 2017: Before you leave a review, please keep in mind these are MY versions of the characters from Special Needs, which has been running for 58 chapters now, so they may not fit your own version in your head or what is in the films or comic books. I provided in-story ques for new readers to help you understand the Bruce-Hulk/Adam dynamic. I will remove any trolling "reviews" that don't take the context into consideration.