~ I by no means even think of being blessed enough to own this world and its characters. ~

Author's note: For those of you who know me, no I'm not dead… (And come on, you can admit you thought it.) Everyone always helps you plan your whole life through college and then once you graduate and get a real job….well I think I am finally organized again to write. I do have some ideas for another Harry Potter fic, but I thought I would try this one out first.

For those of you who don't know me, welcome to my world where I become Lila and let my what if's take form. Inside my head, I've been told, is a rather odd place for how I connect my thoughts. Feel free to let me know if something doesn't flow quite right.

As always: read, review, but mostly: Enjoy!

~Lila~

Chapter 1

~2 Years Ago~

JPOV

It never crossed my mind to decline to fill that role as a best friend to her. I loved her enough to realize that that was what she needed me to be even though I had originally wanted more. But as the teenage hormones began to level, I realized that what I had originally thought was love really wasn't that at all. It was that craving for need and desire, and she was the first female body that I had felt close to.

I truly did love her; however, it was more of the love of a dear friend rather than that which grows out of lust and intimacy. She was able to show me the truth when I was the last person who wanted to listen. She was the one who opened my eyes to what was right in front of me. Leah was always meant to be mine. We were both so caught up in fighting against what we thought we wanted that we shoved aside what we really needed.

Leah was the one who understood my relationship with my best friend more than any other human on this planet. She never once forced an ultimatum or begged for understanding why I would answer a call in the middle of the night. It wasn't like that, and Leah was always the first to come to the defense when others would suggest otherwise.

So Leah never questioned that night when I answered my cell on that first ring in the middle of the night. She never questioned when I responded that I would be right there. She rolled over and went back to sleep as I slipped out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans, grabbed a t-shirt, and kissed her forehead before I left our room. She also didn't hesitate to come when I called her because this time I wasn't going to be able to handle this by myself.

Leah found me sitting on a bench in the cold white hallway with my head in my hands. I wasn't going to cry. I owed my best friend that much. I was the strong one. At least, that's what she always told me. I had to hold it together. No news was good news….right? Leah just sat down gently beside me, pulled my head to her breast, and slowly rubbed my back….that's all it took.

I hadn't cried since my mother died from the car accident that took her life and placed my father in a wheelchair. My sweet best friend always said that one day I was going to face the straw that would break the camel's back. This was no straw…this was more than a single soul could bear. What kind of sick bastard could ruin everything by drinking and driving? Once in a lifetime was more than enough, and here I sat facing a shared mistake of a couple of men years apart.

I hated the thought of soaking Leah's shirt in public, and I couldn't help but think as I cried that I hoped she wore a jacket. The thought shocked me enough that I was able to take a few deep, shaky breaths before I wiped my eyes and pulled myself up straight. Leah indeed had an old hoodie she pulled on to cover the flood of tears I had left on her. It wasn't enough to wipe it away from my mind, so I tilted my head back and closed my eyes…

Leah sat beside me in silence just holding my hand. I tried to focus on her thumb running back and forth to keep the dark thoughts that kept trying to barge into my mind. She didn't say a word. What could she say? There was nothing that would make this situation go away. I focused on the small circles her thumb was making on my hand as I prayed that somehow a miracle would come out of this.

LPOV

I was blessed with an amazing, strong, loving, passionate husband. I never questioned Jacob's relationship with his best friend after that first conversation we had when we first got together. I didn't need to.

"Do you love her, Jake?"

"I thought I did…but no, it's not like that…"

"What is it like, then?"

"It's like…Le, it's like I want to tell her about this beautiful sunset I saw, but I want to see that sunset with you…and I would definitely filter out the good parts. There are just some things a guy has to keep to himself about what he does with his girl…"

It didn't stop friends from questioning, but they didn't see what I did. Jacob was like a brother to her. Yes, they could talk about nothing for hours, but it was the kind of things I expected them to talk about. She would badger him about what he was getting me for my birthday. He would retaliate with wanting to set her up on a date. She would give him some pointers on what stupid things he did to piss me off. He would freak out about a dress she was going to wear to a blind date she would agree to.

She was more of a sister-in-law to me than Jacob's biological sisters. So, that's why I never questioned the phone calls, the seeking advice, the tears, the laughter, the inside jokes…I loved her like family just as much as he did. It didn't matter what everyone else thought. So this phone call wasn't any different.

Our house was in a gated community that was a few miles out from town where she lived in an apartment complex. The news had recently been full of some local break-ins, and my first thought was just a bump in the night that was caused by the storm I could hear blowing up outside the window. She had always been afraid of the dark. With the added storm, I wasn't surprised that she would call.

Jacob would drive over, check the locks, watch some television till she fell back asleep, and then come home. It wouldn't be the first time, and I didn't think it would be the last. I would send Jacob to check on my own brother if he would call scared shitless, but little brothers don't admit to such things.

So when Jacob called me and asked me to come, I was surprised. I thought maybe she needed me to calm her down in some way that Jake couldn't this time…but then he told me where he was. He told me not to rush, and I knew it was because he wanted me safe. However, this was my Jacob that was hurting. I arrived at the hospital in the least amount of time that he wouldn't yell at me for throwing caution to the wind. The site of him sitting on that bench in that striking white hallway broke my heart. I did the only thing I could do as I pulled him to me as he fell apart in my arms.

Never before in my life had I seen him cry. He always had this big tough guy look that made me feel so protected. Now, I was his safe haven. I held on as he sobbed as his world crashed down around him. I knew he had nightmares about the accident that stole his mother away from him as a boy. This night was everything he dreaded, and I couldn't help but think those "not again, please not again" thoughts that race through your mind in times such as these.

When I was beginning to think that he would cry forever, he took a few shaky breaths and pulled away. I quickly covered my soaked shirt so that he wouldn't have to be reminded of being human. He was hurt enough, and I could spare his pride. I wanted to say something, anything! But, nothing came to mind. I just picked up his hand and started rubbing circles with my thumb. It always seemed to calm him.

He had his head tilted back with his eyes closed. His eyes were puffy and cheeks were red and wet. I just sat and continued waiting with him. There was a comfort in the silence. It was almost like as long as no one uttered a word, nothing wrong could touch us. I don't remember how long we sat there, but I will forever remember the moment that the social worker walked up to us. She wasn't a doctor; no someone thought it would be too cold to send a doctor.

She was the one who told us about the papers that were found in the glove compartment of the car. She was the one who told us the real reason that Jacob's cell phone was the one that was called that night. This woman whose name I can't even recall, she was the one who told us that my husband was now the legal guardian of an 8 year old girl. I followed Jacob to the floor as he fell to his knees and began to sob again. I held him as the woman sat with us throughout the night. I held him together as he mourned the loss of Bella, and prayed that the life of a little girl would be the miracle we were searching for.

So what do you think? Love it? Hate it? This chapter is mostly just for set up. Can't wait to see what you think.

~Lila~