it is at moments after i have dreamed
of the rare entertainment of your eyes,
when(being fool to fancy)i have deemed
with your peculiar mouth my heart made wise;
at moments when the glassy darkness holds
the genuine apparition of your smile
After a while, they were far enough from the campsite that Yuuma was sure no one would see them, and he reached out to catch Shark's hand in his own.
And stopped short.
Yuuma tried not to think about it, and about how aware he was of it, and how that wasn't weird at all. He held hands with people all the time. Ever since Astral had…
Well, he appreciated being able to touch people now. Everyone was used to it. Even Shark let him get away with it most of the time. Yuuma hadn't not been holding Shark's hand all week for any reason. They hadn't been hanging out, after all. Yuuma was busy doing all the camping stuff, since no one else really knew how. The other Barians all wanted to hang out with Shark, too. Really, Yuuma was sort of surprised he'd been invited. He'd always thought these trips were something the Barians did to connect with each other, just like the way his mom took them all to visit Aunt Yoko twice a year on holidays.
He absently clenched his fist. They were having fun, weren't they? Why did he feel so…
Isn't he in love with you?
Kotori was completely wrong. Shark was not in love with him. Yuuma would know if he was — they were friends! And anyways it was none of his business!
Something brushed his fingers. Yuuma glanced to the side and stared as Shark reached out and snatched his hand in his own. He determinedly stared straight ahead the entire time — Shark liked to pretend he didn't like Yuuma — but his fingers were warm.
A twig snapped. Yuuma made himself look up at the moon, which was visible between the bare branches on the trees. They picked their way through the woods, staying on the path, leaves crunching underfoot. He didn't look at Shark, no matter how much he wanted to.
Shark had never tried to hold his hand before. Shark didn't usually touch people — a punch to the shoulder with the other Barians, maybe — but Yuuma could never recall him touching Yuuma unless he was in danger.
Not that it meant anything.
Why was he so worried about this? It was dumb. They were out in the forest, there was plenty to see, he was turning into Kotori with all this worrying abut emotions…
Is he really just your friend?
Shark's thumb traced a circle on the back of Yuuma's hand. Yuuma shivered. And this time he did look down at their linked hands, at their intertwined fingers. Shark was looking up at the stars, and he drew a spiral on Yuuma's skin, and his skin was burning where they touched.
It was nice to be with Shark and say nothing. He and Shark were together a lot, but they were hardly ever together alone. Why was that? Something about being with Shark was unlike being with Tetsuo, or III, or anyone else. He didn't always say much, but Yuuma knew that he listened. He wouldn't be disappointed if Yuuma admitted to being afraid.
The path turned, and Yuuma nearly walked into a tree. Shark tugged him in the right direction.
Yuuma frowned. He felt like he was forgetting something, something important. It was like dueling Nasch for the last time all over again, straining for some knowledge he knew existed, not being able to reach it. The moonlight was shining. Yuuma could see a pinpoint of white light reflected in Shark's eyes.
"What?"
"Eh?"
They stared at each other. Yuuma swore he could hear the echo of Shark's "What?" rattling around the forest. Shark was scowling at him. He looked away.
"Shark," Yuuma said. "Your hand…"
Shark dropped his hand as if it was made of polyester.
"No!" Yuuma said, way too loudly, and he seized Shark's hand again.
Their eyes met.
His expression softened for a moment.
Shark's eyes were so blue.
"Shark, you do like me…"
"Tch." Shark was actually blushing. "Everyone likes you. You like everyone. It's annoying."
"But…"
Yuuma shook his head. "No, I meant…"
"Whatever." Shark started walking again, this time back towards camp.
But he didn't pull his hand away.
Shark liked him. Shark liked him. Yuuma tried to understand why this information made his heart pound like he was running, or falling, or dueling. It didn't mean anything had to change. Shark had to know that Yuuma would always be his friend.
Besides, he wouldn't always like Yuuma, right? He'd eventually want to be with someone else —
"Shark."
"What?"
Yuuma didn't know what to say. He was pretty sure whatever he would say would be wrong. So instead he caught the lapel of Shark's jacket in his free hand and kissed him on the mouth.
It was awkward. Their noses bumped. Yuuma was suddenly really aware of the fact it had been hours since he'd brushed his teeth. But Shark's mouth was wet against his, and his nails dug into the back of Yuuma's vest. He was close.
Yuuma was pretty sure he might have been in love with him all along.
(Kotori was going to be thrilled.)
"Hey," he whispered when they pulled apart. Shark's face was so close Yuuma could see his lashes tangling at the corners of his eyes. "Do you like me?"
"Maybe," Shark said. He was smiling.
"That's good."
"Yuuma."
"Yeah?"
"You're an idiot."
"Sorry," Yuuma said. He was smiling.
"Come here," Shark said, and he leaned in, and Yuuma, dazed at his own good fortune, closed his eyes to the starlight and kissed him again.