besogne: these characters are used without permission. they are not used for profit. blair powell and cameron roberts are owned by Radclyffe. this story is about two of-age, consenting, adult women in a sexual/romantic relationship. if this bothers you or is illegal where you live, go away.
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Cameron's eyes fluttered open and came to focus on the face leaning over hers. Her face creased in a soft smile when she recognized the pensive features, and she spoke. "Hey."
Blair gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "Hi." The late-afternoon sun streamed in through the window, harshly illuminating the body stretched beside her. Blair traced her fingertips along the strong jaw of her security chief, who had closed her eyes once again. Quietly observing the peaceful expression on Cam's features, Blair loathed to say anything at all.
"I received a call from my father this morning. He wants me to go down to Washington for a few days." Blair didn't allow her displeasure at the invitation to show in her voice, allowing her bodylanguage to claim a casualness she did not feel.
"Any particular occasion?" Cam shifted without effort into a natural professionalism at the mention of Blair's travel plans.
"A dinner party, among other things. Hosting international diplomats, no doubt." Blair spoke derisively, and Cam felt the tense of her body despite Blair's efforts to remain disinterested.
"I'll let the team know. When do you plan to leave?"
"Tomorrow morning. Can we talk, Cam?" Blair chose to be blunt, knowing that private time between them was not easy to come by.
Cameron looked into the serious eyes next to her and sighed with what might have been gratefulness, or apprehension, or both. "Yes. That's a good idea. What do you want to talk about?"
"Cam, I don't know how this is going to work. I want to see you, but how are we going to be in a--relationship like this?" Blair voiced what she feared was the tip of the iceberg of what had been bothering her. Cam would remain Blair's security chief, that much had been settled, but Blair still felt she was trying to navigate uncharted seas. "I want to know what we have. Ground rules, at the very least."
Cam smiled. "Okay. I want to have some sort of relationship with you, Blair, beyond just professionally." That part was easy. "There are several obstacles involved, however. First, maintaining your father's public image. Second, the protection of your privacy. Last but not least, my job with the Secret Service. Also there is the question of ethics surrounding being in a relationship with the person I'm trying to protect."
"Okay, but we've already decided, for the moment, that you will remain on my security detail. So forget the ethics question, it doesn't really apply." Blair temporized idly, wondering if that also made nullified her fear that the woman beside her may die protecting her. She thought probably so. "So that leaves your job, my father, and our privacy."
"Your privacy."
"Why just mine?"
"I'm a Secret Service agent, I have no privacy."
"Ah, ah, my dear friend, not so. You guard your privacy fiercly. There are nothing but unanswered questions in Washington about you." The comment caught Cam by surprise and she braced herself against a wave of emotion. "You--" Blair pointed, "--are a closed book. That will change if we have any sort of public relationship."
Cam sighed, knowing the truth in Blair's words. While she had nothing to hide, Cam generally offered little to share, either. "Okay," She hesitated, not knowing exactly how thoroughly she wanted to explore this topic. "How about we come back to this?" Blair nodded her assent and she continued, "Next: Your father."
"My father."
"Indeed. So, how does he feel about gay people?"
"Usually he doesn't try to feel them at all." Cam groaned and Blair grinned. "Ha ha, no seriously though. We've never discussed it, but I imagine he has some idea that I'm gay. And he hasn't disowned me yet. On the other hand, his politics are strictly conservative, as is his support. If only for purely political reasons, he would probably prefer it if I were straight."
"So what does that mean for you?"
"It means that if I come out, publically, he won't be pleased. He's not, however, an unreasonable man. If I put up enough fight, I hope he'd eventually realize that I have the right to my own life."
"But that all depends on what kind of pressures are put on him, political pressures I mean."
"Yes, that's true. And also, I don't want to be a spokesperson for gay rights, so pressures could foreseeably come from both ends of the issue."
Cam nodded thoughtfully, wondering about what sort of pressures could be put on the President for having a gay daughter that wouldn't seem extremely bigoted and harsh these days. "You don't detect a great risk of estrangement? And you don't care about politics too much, I would imagine?" Blair laughed in agreement. "So let's leave that obstacle alone for a bit, see what pans out. What's next?"
"Um.. ethics, privacy, my father. Your job is next, the Secret Service." Blair's face was full of mocking seriousness.
"Right," Cam replied with the same tone. "The Federal Government doesn't like gay people too much. But then," She paused, sensing rather than thinking about where this was going. "I've always been gay. I don't have many enemies."
"Has it ever been a problem for you in the past?" Cam asked tentatively, prodding where she wasn't sure she had a right to prod.
Cam briefly closed her eyes, then opened them and sat up on the bed. She slid back against the headboard, still not making eye contact with Blair. "Not really--I tend to be confrontational when it comes to these sort of things. I'd rather people approach me directly when they have a problem. Then I can deal with it. We--" Cam closed her eyes and swallowed, thinking about what she had been about to say. She had not thought of Janet in months. Deciding to be frank, she opened her eyes and met Blair's gaze.
"I had a partner--girlfriend, lover, whatever--Janet." Some part of Blair was shocked by this disclosure, not for the information being shared but rather for the fact that it was happening at all. She hadn't expected her stoic lover to give it up so easily. Blair nodded, urging Cam to go on.
"She--died, during a raid. Several years ago. I imagine you already know." Cam remembered her surprise when Blair had demonstrated her extensive research abilities early in her posting.
"You were there?" Blair tread carefully, not being able to read the emotions on Cam's face.
"Yes." Briefly the image of Janet's dying face swept through Cam's mind, and she struggled to push it away, tightening her jaw against the feelings.
"I can't imagine how hard that must have been, Cam."
Cam nodded in acquiesence, stiffly. Then she took a deep breath and let it out. "Listen Blair, it's okay. Janet and I were pretty close, and it was very hard to see her die like that." Cameron gave a small smile to her cautious friend, thankful for her hesitancy. She didn't really want to remember. "I've grieved though, Blair. You understand?"
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Cameron's eyes fluttered open and came to focus on the face leaning over hers. Her face creased in a soft smile when she recognized the pensive features, and she spoke. "Hey."
Blair gently placed a kiss on her forehead. "Hi." The late-afternoon sun streamed in through the window, harshly illuminating the body stretched beside her. Blair traced her fingertips along the strong jaw of her security chief, who had closed her eyes once again. Quietly observing the peaceful expression on Cam's features, Blair loathed to say anything at all.
"I received a call from my father this morning. He wants me to go down to Washington for a few days." Blair didn't allow her displeasure at the invitation to show in her voice, allowing her bodylanguage to claim a casualness she did not feel.
"Any particular occasion?" Cam shifted without effort into a natural professionalism at the mention of Blair's travel plans.
"A dinner party, among other things. Hosting international diplomats, no doubt." Blair spoke derisively, and Cam felt the tense of her body despite Blair's efforts to remain disinterested.
"I'll let the team know. When do you plan to leave?"
"Tomorrow morning. Can we talk, Cam?" Blair chose to be blunt, knowing that private time between them was not easy to come by.
Cameron looked into the serious eyes next to her and sighed with what might have been gratefulness, or apprehension, or both. "Yes. That's a good idea. What do you want to talk about?"
"Cam, I don't know how this is going to work. I want to see you, but how are we going to be in a--relationship like this?" Blair voiced what she feared was the tip of the iceberg of what had been bothering her. Cam would remain Blair's security chief, that much had been settled, but Blair still felt she was trying to navigate uncharted seas. "I want to know what we have. Ground rules, at the very least."
Cam smiled. "Okay. I want to have some sort of relationship with you, Blair, beyond just professionally." That part was easy. "There are several obstacles involved, however. First, maintaining your father's public image. Second, the protection of your privacy. Last but not least, my job with the Secret Service. Also there is the question of ethics surrounding being in a relationship with the person I'm trying to protect."
"Okay, but we've already decided, for the moment, that you will remain on my security detail. So forget the ethics question, it doesn't really apply." Blair temporized idly, wondering if that also made nullified her fear that the woman beside her may die protecting her. She thought probably so. "So that leaves your job, my father, and our privacy."
"Your privacy."
"Why just mine?"
"I'm a Secret Service agent, I have no privacy."
"Ah, ah, my dear friend, not so. You guard your privacy fiercly. There are nothing but unanswered questions in Washington about you." The comment caught Cam by surprise and she braced herself against a wave of emotion. "You--" Blair pointed, "--are a closed book. That will change if we have any sort of public relationship."
Cam sighed, knowing the truth in Blair's words. While she had nothing to hide, Cam generally offered little to share, either. "Okay," She hesitated, not knowing exactly how thoroughly she wanted to explore this topic. "How about we come back to this?" Blair nodded her assent and she continued, "Next: Your father."
"My father."
"Indeed. So, how does he feel about gay people?"
"Usually he doesn't try to feel them at all." Cam groaned and Blair grinned. "Ha ha, no seriously though. We've never discussed it, but I imagine he has some idea that I'm gay. And he hasn't disowned me yet. On the other hand, his politics are strictly conservative, as is his support. If only for purely political reasons, he would probably prefer it if I were straight."
"So what does that mean for you?"
"It means that if I come out, publically, he won't be pleased. He's not, however, an unreasonable man. If I put up enough fight, I hope he'd eventually realize that I have the right to my own life."
"But that all depends on what kind of pressures are put on him, political pressures I mean."
"Yes, that's true. And also, I don't want to be a spokesperson for gay rights, so pressures could foreseeably come from both ends of the issue."
Cam nodded thoughtfully, wondering about what sort of pressures could be put on the President for having a gay daughter that wouldn't seem extremely bigoted and harsh these days. "You don't detect a great risk of estrangement? And you don't care about politics too much, I would imagine?" Blair laughed in agreement. "So let's leave that obstacle alone for a bit, see what pans out. What's next?"
"Um.. ethics, privacy, my father. Your job is next, the Secret Service." Blair's face was full of mocking seriousness.
"Right," Cam replied with the same tone. "The Federal Government doesn't like gay people too much. But then," She paused, sensing rather than thinking about where this was going. "I've always been gay. I don't have many enemies."
"Has it ever been a problem for you in the past?" Cam asked tentatively, prodding where she wasn't sure she had a right to prod.
Cam briefly closed her eyes, then opened them and sat up on the bed. She slid back against the headboard, still not making eye contact with Blair. "Not really--I tend to be confrontational when it comes to these sort of things. I'd rather people approach me directly when they have a problem. Then I can deal with it. We--" Cam closed her eyes and swallowed, thinking about what she had been about to say. She had not thought of Janet in months. Deciding to be frank, she opened her eyes and met Blair's gaze.
"I had a partner--girlfriend, lover, whatever--Janet." Some part of Blair was shocked by this disclosure, not for the information being shared but rather for the fact that it was happening at all. She hadn't expected her stoic lover to give it up so easily. Blair nodded, urging Cam to go on.
"She--died, during a raid. Several years ago. I imagine you already know." Cam remembered her surprise when Blair had demonstrated her extensive research abilities early in her posting.
"You were there?" Blair tread carefully, not being able to read the emotions on Cam's face.
"Yes." Briefly the image of Janet's dying face swept through Cam's mind, and she struggled to push it away, tightening her jaw against the feelings.
"I can't imagine how hard that must have been, Cam."
Cam nodded in acquiesence, stiffly. Then she took a deep breath and let it out. "Listen Blair, it's okay. Janet and I were pretty close, and it was very hard to see her die like that." Cameron gave a small smile to her cautious friend, thankful for her hesitancy. She didn't really want to remember. "I've grieved though, Blair. You understand?"