Snogging with Sami Howard
My name is Sami Jean Howard I'm seventeen years old and I'm your average British girl, well I cant say I have an average British family but I wouldn't trade them for the world. My mum's name is Ruby Howard she's lawyer the best one in town to be exact. My dad's name is Ethan Howard but he also goes by Eva Howard as well, you see my dad is a transvestite who works at a post office. Both my parents go by Mrs. Howard which is rather confusing to some people but I don't mind. I have the worlds best mum and dad or should I say the worlds best "mums". Then there is my little sister Ingrid who is seven, she's at that age where I'm her idol and she wants to be just like me, I mean its cute and all I love her to pieces but that little bugger drives me mad! Well I better stop writing in this bloody journal its rather pointless I only wrote in it because I had a few moments to spare till school started.
Sami Howard.
When I put away my things my dad burst threw my door causing me to jump.
"Sami! Come on! Hurry up! You'll be late!" he shouted.
Then I turned around and eyed his outfit which consisted of a lavender blouse, an ankle long black skirt, and heels.
"Morning dad." I sighed.
"What's with the sigh sweetie?" he frowned as he flipped his brown hair away from his face which happened to be a wig.
"Nothing I'm fine dad." I smiled.
"Well come on then! School! School!" he sang as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward his red and black Smart Car.
The drive to school was quite, I attend Fazakerley High School in Liverpool England. Our school uniform is pretty normal for girls is a white button up with a dark blue sweater with a red boarder and our school crest on our chest, and a dark blue knee length skirt. For boys it's the same just minus the skirt and put pants and a tie into that sentence. Then finally the car came to a stop and I got out of the car.
"Have a nice day honey!" my father called as he hung out of the car window, his fake breasts made of beans flopping about, yes you heard right I said beans. My mum didn't want him getting surgery so she made him breast shape bags of beans that he could place into a bra, which he gladly accepted. I smiled at him and waved then one of the boys from class walked up to me I think his name was Ben.
"Hey Samantha, your mum is really hot!" he grinned which caused me to laugh.
"What?" he muttered confused.
"That's not my mum! that's my dad!" I laughed.
"Wait….your dad? You mean she was a bloke?" he gasped.
"Wow Ben I didn't know you went that way!" I teased.
"I …no! I'm not! I thought he was a she!" he called out as his face turned red.
I smirked and started walking toward my class. Once I got there I found my best friend Meredith Turner.
"Hey Sami." she smiled.
"Hey Meredith." I smiled back as I took a seat next to her.
Then HE walked into class, Ronald Parker the hottest guy in school, the guy I want to snog the most! He has blonde hair, greenish blue eyes, full lips, and nice abs that showed very nicely threw his school uniform.
"Hey Meredith." he smiled as he took a seat across the room.
"Hey Meredith? He knows you? You know him?" I gasped.
"Yea well kind of…..he's my next-door neighbor we talk when we go to the mailbox." she muttered.
"What? Are you daft? I've been in love with him since kindergarten and you didn't tell me!" I growled.
"Sorry, if you want to talk to him so bad then do it!"
"Fine I will." I said as I nervously walked toward his desk.
Then our teacher Ms. Smith walked into class looking as angry as always, it's like her face is always locked into a scowl.
"Take your seats!" she barked I let out a sighed and took my seat.
As she was lecturing about adjectives or something like that I let out a shutter of disgust. Her old floppy lips flopping back and froth as she talked, the bits of spit flying out after every word, the excess spit handing by the corners of her mouth, red lipstick on her tooth, her what use to be cheeks hanging down past her chin hanging like old flabby, loose butt cheeks. That woman is utterly disgusting, and her class is just as boring as she is. Then finally it was time for class to come to an end, and Meredith and I headed off to P.E. . We like P.E. its rather interesting…our coach is really hot! We don't really do anything we mostly sit on the bleachers watching him play foot ball with the upper classmen in his short jogging shorts, now that's a good sight to see! Once we got to the locker room we started to change then she came along, Lindsey Fryer with her nose up in the air and such as if she was the queen of the school. Lindsey tortured us when we were in kindergarten and she still dose to this day, we don't know why really we just guess she was born with the passion for making other's feel bad. As we were getting dressed Lindsey walked pasted us wearing a pink frilly thong.
"Hello girls." she smiled.
"Hello Lindsey." Meredith muttered.
I said nothing stared at her in disgust…really how could anyone wear that? It's like dental floss for your bum….
"Why don't you take a picture Sami, it'll last longer." she laughed as she walked into one of the bathroom stalls.
"Slag…." I muttered under my breath.
Once we finished dressing we sat on the bleachers as usual and watched our teacher play foot ball with the upper classmen. Then I noticed Ronald was playing as well so I was able to stare at him in his shorts how beautiful. Then Lindsey noticed me staring and waved at him.
"Hello Ronnie!" she called causing him to turn.
"Oh hey Lindsey!" he smiled as he waved back.
"I love you sweetie! I cant way to see you after school!" Lindsey smiled as she blew him a kiss.
"Yea love you too! Sorry I have to get back to the game!" he called as he ran off toward the other boys.
Love him? I though confused.
"Oi Meredith are the dating?" I whispered, but apparently it didn't come out as a whisper because Lindsey heard…or she was airdropping.
"Yes Sami we are dating! Jealous?" she smirked.
"I'd never be jealous of you." I snored as I turned away from her.
"Right, well Ronald likes women not silly little girls like you." she laughed.
"We're the same age." I grumbled.
"We may be, but I'm more mature where it counts." she smirked as she adjusted her breasts and walked off toward her friends.
After school was over, I walked over to the crosswalk that lead to the parking lot and waited painterly for my dad. Then my principle walked over to me and cleared his throat. I looked up at him and tried to suppress a shutter, this man was almost as disgusting as Ms. Smith. He was a round man, with wildly curly dirty blonde hair that he attempts to slick back but one strand of his curly hair sticks out like Alfalfa, his face is so disturbing its hard to describe…lets see…he looks like a dog a wet dog, and his has a big gap between his teeth, and he always wears silly bowties. His name was Principal Dickerson.
"Miss Howard will you be attending bring your parent to school night?" he asked.
"Yea, it'll be just my dad….my mum has to work late." I muttered.
"Very well, that'll do." he nodded.
Then my father pulled up in his smart car and hung out his window.
"Sami!" he waved.
I let out a sigh and got into the car. Once I got in the car he looked at me and frowned.
"Oh, what was that sigh?"
"Nothing important." I grumbled.
"Yes it is, now tell me!" he ordered.
"No dad."
"Sami I'm not going to move this car until you tell me what is bothering you!" he said as cars from behind us started honking their horns.
"Dad! Everyone is getting angry!" I growled.
"Tuff, now tell me what's wrong."
"Oi! Out of the way you twit!" one my shouted.
"I SIR AM A LADY! YOU CAN NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" my father called. "Now tell me what's brothering you kiddo?"
"Lindsey is dating Ronald….the hottest guy in school….." I frowned.
"Oh I see, and you like this Ronald too?" he asked.
"Yes, now can you start the car?" I frowned.
My father let out a sigh and started heading toward home.
"You know Sami, your mother was dating someone else when I met her."
"Really? Who?" I asked.
"A European underwear model named Aaric, boy the abs on that man….." my father sighed.
"Really?…Why didn't she stay with him?" I asked curiously.
"Once she got to know me and my tranny charm, lets just say she fell under my spell….and from the day on since I met her…I never looked at another person my eyes are for her only." he smiled. " But it did take me a few tries to win her over…I mean who would you chose a European underwear model, or a gender confused boy who worked as a paper boy? But she chose right."
I smiled and looked out the car window, my father's stories always made me smile. Once we got home I threw my book bag on the floor and plopped down on the sofa.
"You know sweetie, I could help you get this Ronald boy? I'm quite good a persuasion." my father grinned as he put his parasol against the wall.
"I suppose…." I sighed. "Oh and tonight is bring your parents to school night."
"Oh really? I'll go pick out an outfit! Oh you should let me dress you up too! We can be matching!" he squealed.
"No dad, I'm fine." I laughed.
"Party pooper, oh and grandpa sends his love and he and your sister can wait to see you when they come back." my father called from down the hall as he started rummaging threw his clothes. "Do you think your mother would mind if I borrowed her cocktail dress?"
"I dunno, you two are married you should know!" I shouted back.
"Oh wait never mind I shall wear my sparkly blouse!"
"Dad why cant you dress like man for once?" I asked.
"That's boring!" he laughed. Well tonight should make for an interesting night…..