Another attempt; not sure if this will ever be anything more than a one-shot, but hey. And, yes, I did indeed use some of the actual game dialogue for this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon whatsoever. If I did the whole shiny ratio would be a lot easier.

"...Really?"

"Yeah, really! Just scuttle and dash, and we'll be fine!"

Luke is, to put it simply, a moron. A blonde, hyperactive moron. But he's my moron. With his mop of gold hair, red and white striped shirt, happy go lucky attitude topped with the attention span of a child, there's no mistaking it.

And I'm the fool stuck with him.

"Hold it, you two!"

A shout pierces the air, and with it, Luke's hopes for his ridiculous endeavor before it could be put to use. Professor Rowan, the very man Luke wanted me to see so badly, comes over to us with a stern glare planted firmly onto his face. "Just what do you two think you're doing?"

He and Luke have a stare down for a few moments before anyone has the guts to speak and explain the situation.

"...So you wanted to obtain Pokemon from me?"

"Well, yeah!"

He takes on a troubled expression before looking back to us with the same strong glare. "I can understand that... However, going into the grass without Pokemon is foolish in itself!"

Luke cringes at the professor's words, and even more as his strict eyes watch us.

"...Do you truly love Pokemon?" he finally asks. I nod my head, as does Luke, him with more vigor.

"I ask again: do you truly love Pokemon?"

"Of course we do!" my imbecile confirms once more. "You could ask us over one hundred times, and the answer would still be the same! Me and Rane love Pokemon, right?"

With another nod of my head, we turn back to Rowan, who stares at us still. "...I see. But, giving such reckless children Pokemon..."

"...Well, then, please Professor Rowan!" Luke begins, "Please at least give Rane a Pokemon! It was my idea to go through the grass, not his..."

Rowan seems taken aback by Luke's burst of sincerity. He regains his calm composure and decides, "Such a big gesture...very well. You may both receive Pokemon."

My companion jumps for joy, of course. "Alright! Yahoooo!"

"Wait! One condition- you will never act so reckless again."

We both nod. Afterwards, a petite girl around our age comes walking over, dressed in a white cap, pink jacket, and white scarf. Her black hair cascades her face as she stands behind the professor. "Professor Rowan. You left your briefcase at the lake!"

As she places said object down onto the ground, she looks over to Luke and I, curious. "Oh? Is something wrong here?"

The man seems pleased. "Ah, there it is! Excellent, Dawn, thank you. What I was about to do was entrust these two with Pokemon."

She's taken aback- not that I can blame her. Here stands before her, a hyperactive idiot and his pessimistic companion with a great 'I think I'm better than you' air around him. "Pardon? These Pokemon are hard to replace! You're sure about these and not some other species...? And do these two really seem capable to you?"

Apparently so, my dear. But don't worry; I'm just as shocked as you.

But the professor won't have it. "Humans exist with Pokemon together in this world. There comes a time when people should meet this other species. A world to explore together. For these young men, that time has come."

He turns to us and exclaims with pride, "Go on! Open my briefcase and select your Pokemon!"

Luke, once again, is ecstatic. "Really? I can't believe it- Rane, you can choose first." He then boasts with a grin, "Hey, I'm practically a grownup. I have to show some class here."

Hearing his remark makes me want to hide my face in my hands, and from the look on Dawn's face, she feels the same. Still, I'll do as he says.

"Oh, thank you so very much for your kind offer, Luke." Of course my voice is dripping with sarcasm. It's a must.

I kneel down in front of the brown case and open it up, revealing a few books, small pamphlets, and three Pokeballs. Rowan explains to me, "There's the Tiny Leaf Pokemon, Turtwig, the Chimp Pokemon Chimchar, and the Penguin Pokemon Piplup. Which will you choose?"

I take one of the capsules into my hand. "I suppose I'll take Piplup."

Luke then rushes over and grabs his choice. "Then I choose Turtwig!" That poor creature is doomed.

Rowan offers a small smile. "Splendid! You have both picked good Pokemon. However, these Pokemon haven't yet experienced the world, much like you. All of you being new, I should hope you all get along together just fine. Come see me in Sandgem if you need help."

He picks up his case and says to Dawn, whom I assume is his assistant, "We'll be on our way."

As he walks away, Dawn looks to both of us, with a mix of revulsion, disappointment, and pity. Then, she begins to run over to the professor. Luke stares at their retreating figures with his never changing grin. "Howd'ya like that? He's really nice after all! Kinda stiff though. Anyways, Rane! We've both got Pokemon now! Only one choice left. You ready for this?"

"I don't have much of a choice, thanks to you. While I don't mind receiving a Pokemon, being suddenly thrust into trainer-hood isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Oh, lighten up! You'll do fine! Anyways...the time has finally come! Rane, I challenge you to a battle!" He's already throwing out his Pokemon.

"...Of course you are." With an exasperated sigh as my battle cry, I weakly throw my Pokemon out as well. The battle commences.

His Turtwig, as it turns out, might be an exact copy of Luke. I expected the Chimchar to be hyper, but my guess was wrong. This Turtwig is stomping on the ground, big grin on his face with a determined expression in his eyes. Not to mention lives up to his name and type- a small green turtle with a brown shell on his back, and a small twig growing out the top of his head with two green leaves at the top. "Twig!"

I look to my Piplup, who looks at his- wait, her- opponent with a calm look. She, too, lives up to name; a small blue chick-penguin mix with a lighter blue stomach and white face. "Lup."

"Growl!" As my Piplup does her command with a cute little growl, Luke commands his Turtwig to Withdraw, to boost his defense.

Unfortunately for the both of us, we continue using these two moves for a few more turns before getting physical. Due to his Withdraw, my Piplup's Pound has very little effect. Luckily, because of her Growl, his Tackles are just as ineffective. Luke's already beginning to get impatient, as is his Turtwig, who is quickly becoming frustrated.

Surprisingly, it's my Piplup who decides to take matters into her own hands. She's using her speed to her advantage, and rushes towards her opponent, who in turn, does the same. She, however, jumps before they make contact, landing square onto his back. "Turt?"

Pounding on his head from behind seems to do a lot more damage than attacking from the front.

As Turtwig tries to buck her off, Luke begins to panic. "What? No way! Rane, make your Piplup be a man! Fight head to head!"

"Nothing illegal about being crafty, Luke. Also, he's a she."

With a final Pound to her foe, Turtwig lets out a defeated cry and slumps down, fainting on the spot. Piplup jumps off and turns back to him, arms crossed and nodding her head. "Lup." A small glow around her body tells me she leveled up.

"No way! Are you telling me we lost?" He runs to his Pokemon and picks him up gently. "Well, that's okay. You did good! Rane, let's go home now. We need rest. See ya!"

Like the rest of his personality, Luke's off. I look down to my Piplup, who looks back to me. "Job well done. I take you'll have more moves up your sleeve for later battles."

"Pip."

After resting for a few hours, I finally come downstairs to find my mom watching TV. She spots me and asks, "Is something wrong, dear?"

"Thanks to Luke's foolish idea of making a dash through the grass, we met Professor Rowan, who gave us each a Pokemon and prevented Luke's plan from coming to fruitation." I pull out my Pokeball and release Piplup to show as proof. She looks up to my mom and gives a quiet greeting, showing respect by looking to her as opposed the rest of the room. She either has no curiosity or likes to be polite.

"Wow." She seems generally surprised. "You two are lucky then. I hate to think what might have happened if you two had ended up going into the grass."

"Most likely I would've needed to call an ambulance for him."

She then gives me a stern look. "Rane, go see Professor Rowan and thank him properly for giving you your Pokemon. Now that you have one, you can come and go to Sandgem as much as you please. Run along now."

Great. Guess that means I don't get to stay home and watch the new DVDs I purchased a week ago. Still, Mom holds a point. I nod, return Piplup, and head out the door. "Don't be out too late Rane!"

"Am I ever?"

She gives me a bemused look, effectively answering my question. As if it's my fault I have to deal with Luke. If I didn't, no one else would, and I'd be even more isolated than I am now.

It only takes a few steps outside of my home to get to the entrance to the town. Apparently Luke's mother had the same idea, for he's waiting by the entrance again when I arrive. "Rane! You're late! You owe me one million!"

"Yes, just like you owe me a new bicycle, a new pair of jeans, a new TV, a new skateboard, a new-"

"Anyways!" Luke cuts in, "We gotta go thank Prof. Rowan properly! And I know just how to do that! We go capture that legendary mirage Pokemon in the lake! It'll really impress him!"

"And what on earth makes you think we're going to find, let alone capture, this Pokemon?"

"Because! My gut is never wrong!"

It gives me a headache just thinking about all of the past downfalls in our childhood that proves that statement sadly mistaken.

"No, Luke. We will be good children and do a simple thank you. Go to his lab in town, show him our Pokemon are happy- and that your Turtwig hasn't become soup yet- and that'll be the end of that." I refuse to go on a wild goose chase for this supposed mirage Pokemon. We wouldn't be able to do anything about it as it stands anyway.

Yet Luke is glaring daggers and nails. "No way! Rane, we absolutely have to go do this! For the sake of-"

"Didn't we promise Professor Rowan no more foolish antics?"

He flinches. "Well, yeah, but-"

"And what of our Pokemon? Do you honestly believe they would stand a chance if this so called legendary wanted to fight us?"

"Even then-"

"Enough, Luke." I grab hold of his hand and tug forward. "We're heading straight for Sandgem Town right now. Let's go."

It's enough to quiet him for now, and he follows behind me quietly. "You see? Much easier, much safer- Luke!"

He's already made a dash for the lake, another grin on his face. "Ha, no way Rane! I'll show you! I'll get the mirage Pokemon myself, and then you'll be eating your words!"

It takes all of my strength not to chase after him; instead, my hand flies to my belt, then to my Pokeball, which is immediately thrown at Luke's head. Lucky for me I have good aim, right?

Even luckier that Piplup releases herself mid-throw and decides to go for the ride. With a little twirl, she lands on his shoulders, and begins to Pound his head and Growl in his ears in loud volumes. It's enough to knock Luke down onto the ground, into the thick grass.

"Ow! Ow, okay, stop it already! I'll be good, just- ow! Stop!"

Piplup pulls away from him when she's satisfied and goes to my side. I look down at the blonde, who lays sprawled on his stomach, and will have a nasty headache to deal with. "Now what did we learn today, Luke?"

"Don't try to trick you or deal with an angry Piplup..."

"Good boy. You want a treat?"

Rustling comes from our left. I turn, and Luke raises his head, only to see an angry Bidoof and Starly, glaring at us. I suppose we were too loud- or Luke's just too much of a pain, even for Pokemon to bear.

"Bi, Bidoo!"

"Starly!"

"Another lesson to be learned: don't fight with friends in the grass. Get up; we have some battles on our hand."

"Oh, sweet!" Of course he's back up in an instant, grin on his face. "You take the bird, the Bidoof's mine! Come on out Crusher!"

I stare at him pointedly, although I should have expected it. "You named your Turtwig Crusher."

"Heck yeah, 'cause that's what he's gonna be! With me as his mentor and him as my partner, he'll wreck and crush everything in sight, all the way to the top as the Champion! Now, Tackle that Bidoof!"

As his Turtwig charges, only more energized at his Trainer's oh so beautiful speech, I look to my own Pokemon. A nickname wouldn't be bad...and I suppose she would enjoy it more than Piplup. After some thought, I call, "Alright...let's begin, Sophia!"

Classy is what she seemed, and classy is what I shall give.

Yet Luke is not impressed with me as he gives his disapproving frown while our Pokemon take care of the wild ones. "Aw, really? Rane, that's not epic at all! You should've totally named her Acrobat, or Monster, or maybe even Ice Queen! ...Or Jen."

"...Yes, thank you for your input, Luke; where would I possibly be without you?"

The snarky comebacks are interrupted as we hear shrill cries of defeat. We turn to see Crusher, small little leg on top of his defeated opponent with a look of pride. Sophia merely managed to scare the Starly enough into retreating, but seems pleased nonetheless.

My loveable fool is grinning so wide I fear he'll stretch his face as he picks up his Pokemon. "Way to go, Crusher! You totally kicked butt back there! Woohoo!"

I, in turn, look to the newly dubbed Sophia. "Excellent. I take it that Starly wasn't too troubling?" She gives me a nod and manages to jump onto my shoulder, leaning on my head for support. Crusher, seeing this, seems to follow suit and perches himself onto my friend's head- not that he minds.

"So, let's go visit Prof. Rowan!"

When I nod and continue walking, him by my side, I hear him let out another sigh, however. "I bet he'd be even happier if we brought him that mirage Pokemon..."

"Luke, you do understand that we wouldn't be able to capture it regardless of how strong our Pokemon were, right?"

"What?" His head snaps up to glare at me. "No way! We could totally take-"

"We have no Pokeballs."

"...Shut up and keep walking, Rane. Just shut up and keep walking."

I smile at my adorable moron and do as he wishes. After all, it would be rude to crush any other dreams he no doubt has concocting in his head.

That being said, it's always amusing to crush his spirits, something I think Sophia would agree with.