Disclaimer: I own DNAngel? I wish.

I know it's a very cruel song…but it's so funny!

I have this weird problem with making all the characters that are heartless and cold OOC…

What's wrong with me! OO;

Enjoy!


Satoshi Hiwatari was positively bored with his life.

OK, wait, let's backtrack a bit.

Satoshi Hiwatari is a successful 23-year-old CEO of Hiwatari Corporation. He's rich, women worship the places he walks on, and has a secret passion for pina coladas. He looks good and knows it.

And he was bored.

"You're just lost and lonely." His father said.

I'm lonely? Since when?

"You control the corporation with an iron fist that people are going to start hating you."

So let them hate me. Watch as their salary decreases bit by bit. And these people can't do a damn thing unless I force it upon them.

"Get yourself a girlfriend. They do wonders."

But they've done nothing for me.

"Get laid."

That's your situation, you old fart!

…Interesting conversation, yes? I told you, very OOC.

Surprisingly, even to himself, Satoshi got himself a girlfriend. He thought the "getting-the-girl" part was easy, just a few fancy dinners, gifts, and the showering-of-compliments and she's yours. However, he didn't really think about the whole girlfriend/boyfriend phase. The woman he was with now made him think differently. (Not as in a good way…but a bad way.) She required all of his attention, and he couldn't give it to her. She would always complain and complain to him, saying something along the lines of being faithful to the person you're with in a relationship, but the phone would always ring around that time.

Satoshi tried his best to try and analyze what his girlfriend was thinking. Why is it that even though he tries to block her out, he can't seem to? He was an undoubted expert at that!

He understood everyone but Risa Harada.


I was tired of my lady
we've been together too long
like a worn out recording
of a favorite song

Risa Harada couldn't understand her own boyfriend as much as he did with her! She never really went out with guys in glasses. But something was making her stay. There was this feeling inside her that couldn't let her break up with him, as much as theyboth would appreciate the breaking-up part.

She was confused.

She never really liked breaking up with anyone…so…she had a different plan.


So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
and in the personal columns
there was this letter I read

Satoshi was reading the newspaper in the morning shirtless. (It was a habit.) His icy blue eyes roamed the paper until, for some odd reason, a message caught his eye.

He read the whole message and smiled.

During lunch, he grabbed the same newspaper and decided to read it again, just for fun. It said:


"If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

Satoshi analyzed the whole letter during the lunch hour.

He certainly loved pina coladas, and at least he wasn't as addicted to it as those drunken bastards. He liked the rain, though, that's for sure. Getting caught dancing in the rain wasn't his thing, though. Yoga disgusted him, so he usually found another way to do his exercises.

The next line certainly didn't appeal to him. He certainly didn't have half a brain. He had a full one, and it works every single freaking day of his entire messed up life. (In his words.) Although, he does remember that someone called him a half-brain idiot because he didn't care about women.

He doesn't remember the last time he was in heat. Actually, did he ever have sex? He'll just have to roam the dwellings of his own mind about that later on.

But what was love to him? He didn't know. He lived and grew up probably a world without love, and he couldn't really understand the concept.

Another thing he needed to add to "I-don't-understand" list.


I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same dull routine

"Satoshi!" Risa shrieked. "Are you listening to me!"

The way his eyes were glazed over to the office window answered an obvious no.

Risa groaned and gave up. She stomped out of his CEO office with an angry face.

"Ah! Risa…san?" Daisuke Niwa, the secretary of Satoshi, called with a confused face. He knew Risa because his fiancée is her twin sister, Riku. However, he didn't really know the reason why she just stormed out of his employer's office. How was Risa connected with Satoshi? He'll have to see to that later.

He peeked inside the office and found Satoshi writing on a piece of paper with a small newspaper clipping next to it. How odd.


So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad

Satoshi reread his so-called masterpiece and smiled in the inside.


"Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape."

Was there really a bar called O'Malley's in Japan? I'm not too sure of it. But hey! Anything could happen!

The woman who had sent the letter was reading the newspaper and found out that her letter had a response. She was surprised. Personal columns don't usually work nowadays! Anyhow, she smiled and decided to cancel everything tomorrow. This letter just made her damn day.


So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face

Satoshi bought one pina colada and waited at the counter. Since it was noon, not a lot of hooligans were at the bar, so he could rest peacefully. He took a sip of his wonderful pina colada, and he felt like he was in heaven. O'Malley's made the best pina coladas in Japan.

"Hey," the friendly bartender called. Satoshi glanced over to where he was. "You waitin' for someone?"

"Yes," Satoshi answered shortly.

The bartender chuckled. "Thought so. Not a lot of rich people come strolling in my bar just for a drink." Satoshi raised an eyebrow. He wasn't looking particularly rich today. Actually, far from it. He was wearing a simple light blue polo that was open which revealed his white muscle shirt underneath. He was casual looking jeans too. He didn't really want the woman to be scared because of his position in the business industry.

"Hello ma'am! What would you like?" the bartender called while Satoshi was taking another sip.

"A pina colada please," the woman said. Satoshi furrowed his eyebrows. That voice sounded annoyingly familiar.

"Ah, you got taste, ma'am. O'Malley's make the best pina coladas in this here country," the man exclaimed and quickly whipped up a drink just for her. "This guy next to you should know."

Satoshi and the woman faced each other.

"Satoshi!"

"Risa!"


It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Ah, it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew."

"What are you doing here?" Risa inquired, poking his arm annoyingly. "And why do you look so…middle class?"

Satoshi snorted. "I'm waiting for someone. I didn't want to scare her by looking so rich, wouldn't I?"

Risa thought that most women liked rich men, but she tossed that thought aside. "Her? Are you cheating on me?"

"Yes, her. And I would get every chance I can get to cheat on you, but all the women in the world annoy me. Therefore, my chance hasn't been recognized, dear girlfriend." Satoshi responded icily. The bartender looked with interest.

"How'd you meet this woman?" Risa asked. For some reason unknown to her, she was a bit outraged that Satoshi would cheat on her. She probably meant as much to him as a penny with horse dung on it.

Satoshi sighed with irritation. "I found a letter in the newspaper. Now stop asking questions, woman."

Risa blinked.

"News…paper?"

"Yes, newspaper. It's a compound word that represents a piece or pieces of paper with news on it," Satoshi twitched. The bartender laughed.

"Boy, you have to realize things!" the bartender barked playfully. "You're a half-brained twit if you don't know what's going on!" Risa blushed.

"Don't call me half-brained, you incompetent fool."

"You're the fool, son! Don't you realize? The girl of your dreams is sitting right next to you!" the bartender laughed.


That you like Pina Coladas
and getting caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes of the Cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape

Satoshi and Risa stepped out of the bar together after finishing their pina coladas and gave the bartender a tip. They stood outside in the nice, spring sun for a while.

"So…" Satoshi started. "you're really the one who wrote that letter?"

Risa looked down and blushed. "Hai…"

Satoshi sighed and twitched. How could he be that stupid? He took out his cell phone and dialed a number.

"Daisuke," Satoshi said on the cell phone, "do me a favor. Get two tickets to Boracay, Philippines for tomorrow and give me a week long vacation. ………I don't care what the board members say, screw them."

He hung up the phone only to see Risa stare at him in awe. And, to everyone's surprise, he turned pink with embarrassment.

"What's your job? I'll take care of them," Satoshi muttered, twitching.

His only response was being smothered with hugs and kisses.

The next week…

"Mr. Hiwatari, I have some pa—" Daisuke opened the door only to find his employer and his fiancé's sister in the middle of something…intimate. He blushed furiously. "I'LLGETBACKTOYOULATER." He shut the door with a loud bang.

Risa slowly broke away from Satoshi as she took off his shirt. (They weren't there yet. XD) "How nice of Daisuke, letting us have our moment."

Satoshi smiled as he unclasped her bra. "One of my best employees." He kissed her neck. "I think I should give him a promotion."

Risa giggled. "I love you, Satoshi," she breathed before lightly kissing him on his lips. He kissed her back with more passion and hunger, and Risa smiled. Satoshi wasn't the one to say "I love you" straightforwardly. You have to know what his actions meant and what he was implying.

And the way he always looked in her eyes gave her all the "I love you's" she needed.


HAHA. XD I had fun writing that.

I know…it's very naughty. n.n; And…OOC! Woot! I just hope people like it…'coz, I mean, I know it's not the best, but I try. X.x;

R/R please!