A Creature, Frail and Vain

I

Adam stared at the letter he held; he was hesitant, almost afraid, to open it. It was from Sophie's parents, that much he knew just from the envelope. The return address was Hartford, Connecticut and written in a script that wasn't his wife's and therefore, it probably contained bad news. His mind raced. It couldn't be that something horrible had happened to Sophie or her parents would have wired him; bad news always came by telegram. People couldn't seem to send it fast enough. Exceptionally good news came by wire as well but as far as he and Sophie were concerned, there could be no good news, at least not to him unless the letter inside the envelope told him to meet her at the stage depot in Virginia City, that she was returning to him, a duly repentant wife.

But Sophie? Repentant? Never. And Adam wasn't even sure that he wanted to see her contrite for that would mean she was broken and he wouldn't be able to bear that; he still loved her no matter what. He knew he was a fool but couldn't help himself.

It had been almost two years since she had left him and all that Adam could think of while looking at the letter was that she had remarried, that their separation had finally resulted in a termination of their marriage without his knowledge—after all, her father was a lawyer. Adam knew that in Nevada, desertion of one's spouse resulted in dissolution of the marriage and many a wife had been deserted by their husbands when they went off to look for gold after their stake ended up being worthless. It took five years though for the wives to be free of their husbands but he didn't know about Connecticut, and Adam hadn't deserted Sophie—she had deserted him and he had no interest in divorcing her.

They had always argued, he and Sophie. She thought she was always right and he believed that he was. Often he would give in to her for the sake of peace but then she would accuse him of being patronizing. But usually their arguments ended because Adam couldn't bear anymore so he would hold her and she would tell him to let her go, attempting to pull away, and he would reply, "Never." And often he would press his face against her neck, holding her close until he could feel her relax in his arms and then he knew that he could kiss her and she would respond. The only positive thing that resulted from their arguments was the joining of their bodies afterwards. It seemed that the angry passions she roused in him turned into desire and he felt his soul so elevated by their love that it became a form of religious ecstasy.

Adam told Sophie once as he held her in their bed that loving her was rapturous, that even the saints in all their religious fervors couldn't match the divine transportation of his soul when he reached the culmination of their joining.

"That's blasphemy. You shouldn't say such things." She had placed two fingers on his lips but he only took her hand and kissed her fingertips. "God will punish you—us."

"No, no punishment for you, my Sophie. You are the most divine creature God ever made and I worship you, I adore you and I pay homage to you and your beauty every day." He ran his mouth along her bare shoulder and then kissed her neck, her hair having fallen aside as they lay on their sides. To Adam, she was the most wonderful, the most enchanting woman he had ever known and from the first time their eyes met he knew that he was hers and that whatever she chose to happen, he would comply. And he felt exhilarated and doomed at the same time for Adam knew that a love that fierce might burn itself out and destroy him, but he was willing to take that chance.

"I swear, Hoss," Adam said as they loaded the buckboard outside the feed and grain store, "is food all you think about? Hop Sing'll have dinner ready when we get back to the Ponderosa so can't you wait until then? I want to get home—I'm worn out."

"Looks like your memory done failed you, Adam. That lumber man's comin' in and we got to wait for the stage. Age is finally catchin' up with you and your memory." Hoss threw a sack of oats on the buckboard.

Adam groaned. He had forgotten about the lumber buyer, Louden Wilson, from San Francisco. Before the company for which Wilson worked finalized the contract for Ponderosa pine to be delivered, he wanted to see the stand from which the timber had been cut, the quality of the wood and to visit the mill where the planks were being sawed. Adam pulled out his pocket watch. It was only a little after 4:00 and the stage was due at 5:30.

"Fine," Adam said, "let's go to the Sazarac where you can get food and I can get a beer." They closed the tailgate, secured it and then walked over to the Sazarac for a beer for Adam and a sandwich or two or three for Hoss.

Adam leaned against the wall of the depot waiting for the stage; it was already fifteen minutes late. Hoss paced, his hands on his ample waist. Suddenly Adam stood up—he had seem some dust rising.

"Stage is here," he said and walked to the edge of the slatted sidewalk to greet their guest and business partner. When Ben had traveled to San Francisco, he had placed the bid with a man from the accounting office of Bronson and Sons. The man coming in today was in charge of planning and quality control; that was why he needed to see the quality of milled lumber but who he was, none of them knew and Adam didn't particularly want to know. He would rather spend the evening at Alicia's house with her two sons whom he had come to care for. He often envisioned them as a family and believed that they could be very happy.

Hoss and Adam stepped back and the depot master came out to assist the ladies as they debarked and the driver handed the baggage down as well. The male passengers took theirs and Adam helped the two ladies with theirs. He tipped his hat to them as they thanked him.

"I'm guessing you're Wilson," Hoss said, grinning. He felt he knew as soon as this man had climbed out of the stage that he was the San Francisco business man; he was well-dressed and looked big city although slight in build and a little too pretty.

"You are correct," he said putting out his hand. "Louden Wilson for Bronson and Sons."

Hoss shook his hand and then introduced himself and Adam and soon all three men were on their way to the Ponderosa.

TBC