A Life Of Vengeance

Author's Notes: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in this fic. This is just my analysis of Sasuke's thoughts since he met Naruto and Sakura up to his battle with one of Orochimaru's men. There are plenty of spoilers ahead, so if you have not read Volume 8 you might not be able to enjoy this. Anyway, this is my first Naruto fic and I'm not sure whether I should continue. Btw, I must really recommend www.narutoguide.com, it's got to be the best Naruto website out there. Great job guys!

Where am I?

Sasuke opened his eyes to find himself lying on a bed in a strange room. It was white and smelt like a hospital, yet it lacked the gentle breeze coming through the windows. In fact, there was no window. Sasuke tried to move, but the pain from his wounds stopped him. Suddenly he heard voices from outside his door and it opened, showing a casual yet alert Kakashi. There were ninjas of higher ranks outside his room and when Kakashi entered, they nodded and closed the door. Oblivious to what had happened, Sasuke turned his head slightly to face Kakashi and muttered,

"It's you..."

His mentor walked up to his bed with his usual smile, or at least they thought it was a smile, and greeted Sasuke,

"So you've woken up. I'm glad you're healing fast so I can train you sooner."

Frowning, Sasuke tilted his head a little more to get a closer look at his mentor. Working under Kakashi for a few months had made Sasuke notice a few things about him. If things were not serious, Kakashi would usually be late for their missions and just read his perverted novels while Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura would finish their tasks. If things were bad, Kakashi's smile was gone and he would personally partake in the mission with them. Now Kakashi was to train Sasuke personally, which meant his future opponent must be difficult. After all, that was how he landed here in the first place.

"And the people out there?"

Kakashi's eyes, or eye, was no longer a semi-circle, but was open and grave. He thought for a moment on what should be said, but decided to tell Sasuke everything.

"They are from the Special Forces and they will guard you until you get well. The curse on your neck is proof that Orochimaru is after you, so I advise you to stay alert at all times. The next trial is due in a month's time. The sooner you heal the more practice you will get. I will personally undertake your training as your opponents are not to be underestimated, especially the next one."

Sasuke did not know whom he would be fighting next, but he knew that they would be strong, if not dangerous (especially Gaara). He tried to move his arm, but failed miserably. Kakashi turned towards the door. He just came to check on Sasuke's recovery and of course, safety.

"Save your energy and get plenty of rest. I will be back to get you next week."

With a gesture of his arm in the form of a salute, Kakashi opened the door and stepped out. A few moments of muffled voices, footsteps then there was silence. Sasuke closed his eyes to sleep.

Who are you?

'Mother...Father...shouldn't have died...'

You are...me?

'I had no power to protect them...that's why they died...because I was weak...'

No...

'Power...if I had strength...'

Sasuke awoke once more. He had this dream many times before, each stronger than the next. Ever since Orochimaru cast that curse on him, these dreams kept haunting him, as if drawing him closer to some power. Dreams of the past, of his life, of vengeance.

Many things had happened in his life, which had shaped what he became. The fact that he was born under the Uchiha name made him special from the rest. He was brought up to train and fight, and not disgrace his family name. He was taught to protect his people and use his skills for good until...until that fateful day. He did not know why or how his brother killed his family, but he knew for certain that that day changed his life forever. He knew his destiny on that day. He knew what kind of life he would lead, a life of vengeance. From then on, he grew up as an avenger, training every day for one goal, growing stronger to do one thing, and that was to find his brother and kill him.

He thought that this was his aim in life, that he survived just to grow stronger and avenge his family. Now was the time. Orochimaru offered him power, a chance to fulfill his ambition and if it was a few months ago he would have followed the voice, but now he never did because of them; his...friends.

All this time lying in the hospital made Sasuke's thoughts wander. He could not start training as he could barely move, and he didn't want to sleep anymore as his nightmares kept appearing. He began to recall the first time he met his teammates and Kakashi-sensei.

That day was a horrible day. When Sasuke saw his teammates, he felt like crying inside. A guy who had failed many times (only three actually) in Ninja school and a girl who just stared and dribbled at him all the time. Great... He had seen them before. The fox kid did many pranks around the city that aggravated the city folk. Sasuke always thought that he did it for more attention and would have pitied him if that emotion was still in him. The fanatic girl usually hung around another one and whenever he appeared, they would turn pink and stared at him for the longest time, only to giggle and chatter later on. These people annoyed Sasuke a lot. They didn't seem to take training seriously and appeared to be wasting their time and his. Now he was stuck with the very two people whom he would avoid any day.

Kakashi had been a pain with his test. He had insisted they grab the bell from him or they would not be able to eat. Sasuke found that a waste of time and worked on his own. Having those two around would just get in his way. However, he had underestimated Kakashi and so did Naruto. Naruto had tired to betray them and steal their lunch, but was caught and punished instead. Sasuke had derived with several plans by then, but as much as he hated to admit, he would require the assistance of those two morons. Little did he know that Kakashi was actually testing their unity and will to survive, for after Sasuke and Sakura offered Naruto their 'bento's Kakashi emerged and congratulated them for passing his test. For the first time in his life, Sasuke respected someone other than his father. Since then Kakashi guided them through numerous tasks and though they were all D-grade missions, Sasuke sensed that Kakashi was preparing them for the future. Sasuke did not understand what he was feeling, but if he did, he would have known that he felt secure with his mentor around.

Naruto the brainless nuisance. He had always been a troublesome member of their group. Loud, weak and loved to show off, he would annoy Sasuke that his nerves could explode. Sasuke even had to protect him during their mission of escorting old man Tazuna back to his home, but it was during that mission that made Sasuke realize that there was more to life than vengeance. That knucklehead Naruto had grown stronger as time passed and soon Sasuke found him to be his training opponent. I can't believe that I raced with that loudmouth... Kakashi had taught them how to walk up trees using Chakra and Sakura was the best among them at that time. Losing to a girl was bad enough, but equal to Naruto? That was motivation enough to keep Sasuke training all night just to get up the top of that tree. The feeling of achievement was different from what Sasuke used to know. Perhaps it was the beginning of their friendship, perhaps Sasuke had acknowledged Naruto's strength, who knew? One thing was clear; spending time with his teammates changed Sasuke mentally.

Their battle against Haku made Sasuke realize something; he was willing to sacrifice himself to save his teammates, his friends. That upset Sasuke more than anything. He was to live or die to kill, to avenge his family, yet meeting these people had somewhat bent his goal, his will. The fact that Haku had not killed him shocked him as well. Haku never meant to kill anyone at all in the first place, thus making his battle with Sasuke and Naruto pointless. All Haku wanted to do was to protect his master Zabuza, just like Sasuke protecting his friend. Sasuke started questioning his way of life and doubted his strength. The events that recently happened made Sasuke wonder when or how Naruto had improved his skills so much. The battle with Orochimaru was a stab to Sasuke's pride. Naruto fought an opponent far more superior than he was bravely, yet all Sasuke could do was tremble and watch his friend be beaten up. The loud and noisy, weak and brainless Naruto was replaced by a strong and determined ninja. Naruto had proved to be more than a teammate; he had become Sasuke's worthy friend and rival.

Naruto was not the only one to affect Sasuke's life. He knew Sakura Haruno had a (big) crush on him. In fact, she had confessed to him once, only to be rejected harshly by him. Sasuke did not mean to hurt her, but he had to be firm and clear at his intentions. It was not that Sakura was not attractive or such, but Sasuke could do without the trouble. An avenger must have no commitments and concentrate in his goal alone. He could not afford senseless puppy love to distract him. Ever since his rejection, Sasuke noticed that Sakura had stopped her blushing or shy stares. Instead, she would occasionally glance at Sasuke sadly or look into a distance with her mind far away. Sasuke knew he had hurt her, but there was really nothing he could or would do.

The more time spent with his teammates, the more Sasuke knew them. Sakura was the brain of the group. Though her physical skills were far from good, her mental skills allowed her to comprehend things faster and control Chakra better than both Sasuke and Naruto. He had to admire her for that. Sakura too, had grown from a crybaby to a brave ninja when she faced the group of opponents from Sound Village. Sasuke was unconscious then, but he woke he found Sakura all beaten up while Naruto and himself had been protected. Sasuke remembered a surge of fury filled his body and along with it was power. His body was covered with the marks from Orochimaru's curse, but he felt powerful. Unlimited strength flowed through his anger like oil on fire. Someone had not only tried to kill him, but also hurt Sakura so bad her face was red with blood. Revenge. Blood. Death. That was all in his mind at that time that he did not know what happened until Sakura's voice reached him. The next thing Sasuke knew was that he was held in Sakura's arms and his mind was back to normal. If the curse on his neck did not throb like hell nor his body feel weak, Sasuke would have blushed at being hugged by a girl. Sakura told him what happened later on, but she did not tell him what had happened before he woke. Looking at her injuries Sasuke assumed that Sakura had fought hard against the Sound Village group, which resulted in her losing her long, beautiful hair. Sasuke would never admit it even to himself, but he felt twinge of guilt for not being able to protect Sakura and heartache to see her hurt so seriously. He had hurt her even more when he rebuked her harshly when she wanted him to quit the exam. Sasuke knew she was just worried about him, and a small part inside him felt joy at her concern, but he would not let anything stop him from completing the Chuunin preliminary trial. It had been Sakura's voice that called him back to reality when he was almost engulfed by the curse, and both his teammates' worry for him made him overcome the curse and win the battle. Sakura had become his important teammate and friend...or was there something more? Did he not feel glad that someone cared for him more than just a friend? Did he not feel the slightest twinge of jealousy every time Rock Lee tried to win Sakura's heart? Sakura was becoming more important in his life, but Sasuke was not sure (more like doesn't want to admit) what this feeling was or how to deal with it.  

Lying here in the hospital not only gave Sasuke a physical break, but also a time to sort out his feelings, if he could understand them. His life was no longer a monotonous color of black, but filled with different shades of many other colors. His thoughts wandered to places he never thought about before. His once self-centered life now involved others and though vengeance was still his aim in life, his mind had started to think beyond that. Sasuke could feel himself getting sleepy and the last thought that crossed his mind before he dozed off was:

Can't believe I let them worry for me...

'bento' – lunch box