Chapter 1: Pathetically Counting

By: Blondenhot

Ok here's something new from me! Read and Review! LUV!

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13 days, 1 hour, 7 minutes. Pathetically, I had been counting the days, the hours, the minutes since he left. It seemed like an eternity ago that he had left me standing there, crying in the rain.

But really it had only been 13 days, 1 hour, and 8 minutes.

The days had passed hesitantly, dragging on endlessly with the occasional visitor. Kwest, Jamie, Speed. Sadie had been my angel lately; not only had she been my shoulder to cry on since Mom's gone, she had been my supplier of Ben and Jerry's ice cream and the thousand tissues I had used. If I ran out of anything, she went and re-supplied for me—making it where I felt like Mom was here even though she wasn't. She had been a complete Godsend. I owe her big time.

These last couple of days had been difficult. I had no inspiration. Nothing. I hadn't even been able to write down lyrics that were worth something. All I had were a bunch of no shit lyrics, that were cold and had no substance to them. I hadn't even been to the studio in a week. After those first couple of days without him…I just couldn't do it anymore.

Tomorrow, I'll get up early and go down there. I'll put on a fake smile and hope no one can see through it. I'll make small talk with SME and Kwest. Sadie and I will go to lunch and I'll probably cry a little and then I'll head back to work and twiddle my thumbs until I can come up with something good, fresh. I'll sit and play and wait on some good lyrics to come to me. Story of my life.

Literally.

I looked out my open window blinds, watching as the headlights flashed in front of my window and slowly moved on. I stood and looked out the window sill, waiting for something to catch my attention.

Little Carly Faughn was sneaking out across the street. I guess she wasn't really little anymore—she will turn 15 in July. She was dressed up really nicely, as if she was headed somewhere important. Her auburn color hair was curled neatly and fastened in the back with a pretty baratte. She was dressed in a cereluan blue polo shirt from Hollister (her family had gone on vacation there recently) and a light washed jean miniskirt. Her shoes were to die for—a pair of t strap Kors Michael Kors from Nordstrom.

I watched as the pair of headlights belonged to a oy ina new white mustang gt convertible. Carly smiled widely at him and I was happy for her. Just because I was such a stick in the mud doesn't mean other people can't have fun. A few minutes later, I still stared down the lifeless street. How I would kill to see a certain blue viper pull into my driveway one more time.

To see a strapping man run and beat on my door, begging my forgiveness for leaving and hoping if I would ever love him again…

I'm such a goober.

The Next Day

After a hard night's sleep, I finally made my way to the studio. Kwest was waiting for me, ready to begin another wortheless day at the 'office'.

"Hey Kwest." I said in a monotone-ish voice. It had become my regular voice now…ever since he had left…he took everything with him. My heart, my inspiration, my voice.

"Jude! How are you doin?" he asked me using a weird tone. Something was up….

"Um, good. And you?" I asked, becoming suspicious. Something was up with him this morning….

"I'm doin good….can't wait to get to work!" Ok, I don't know if he's high or just hasn't had his coffee but this is not the regular Kwest.

"Ok…." I told him running into the sound booth, ready to attempt a warm up. We ran through a couple of my older songs, trying to get my voice warmed up to what it used to be. I guess he hoped hearing my old songs would help wake me up….all they did was remeind me who they were about. We did 'Your Eyes' and 'Time To Be Your 21' and 'Skin.' Even though, Skin wasn't written about Tommy, it still hurt to sing it. Although I have forgiven my dad, I don't think I'll ever be able to forget the picture of him and Yvette on the couch….I shuddered at that thought. That was one thing I could have lived without seeing. But when it came to 'Time To Be Your 21' and 'Your Eyes' I just didn't think I could handle it. But I toughned up the best I could and tried to control my tears. Kwest watched from the control room with concerned and worried eyes.

I made it through those songs and a couple others. Finally we finished and Kwest and I went for our morning coffee down the street. I truly believe that God created Starbucks—everything in there is heavenly. I ordered a Carmel Macchaito with extra carmel and extra whipped cream. Kwest ordered his usual—black coffee woth no creamer or anything.

I would choke.

We slowly walked back to the studio. Kwest was still acting weird…as if something was biting him inside. When we got back to G Major, Darius walked in with the mail. It had come especially early this morning. When he laid eyes on me he stopped and smiled.

"Jude! You have some mail!" he said, extra cheery. Must have had fun last night….hope it was with Georgia.

"Ok…thanks." He handed me a small white envelope that strangely and no return address. JUDE was written in blocky handwriting. I'd know that handwriting anywhere.

It was from Tommy.

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Hey guys! It's Blondenhot…here's a new one! I'm going to a camp next Wednesday with the team so I don't know when I'll update but I promise I'll get around to it sometime….if You like it. So let me know! Read and Review, that's my way! LUV!