These strange images are beginning to confuse me. They have been occurring for three nights now, and I have yet to grasp the cause of their appearance. The odd thing about them is that I can only view them at night, when I am supposed to be resting, and yet these hallucinations continue to fill my head with useless information.
Each night I have seen huge weeping willow trees surround me and felt the loving caress of wind as it tickled my cheek. All the while, woodland creatures scurry about and bright rays of sun warm me as I sit before a graceful lake, perfect for fishing on. The scenes are as detailed and interactive as I have ever experienced, and I seem to draw an uncanny pleasure from them, but at the same time they make me weary.
Every time these peculiar occurrences have transpired upon me, they have grown more vivid until finally, this morning, I became unable to judge reality from this alternate universe. As of now, 8:27 on Thursday morning, the seventh day of the sixth month in the year 2003, I have formally proclaimed myself to be ill. Though I haven't determined what my exact mental disease is, it is only a matter of time until I attain enough knowledge to diagnose myself.
Since early yesterday, my waking hours have been spent in the personal study I've been granted entrance to. There, the room contains an impressive collection of psychological texts that I have flawlessly memorized with no exception. Yet, despite my recent intake of resources, my quest for an answer still continues. I am hopeful that it will end today though, seeing as I have nearly exhausted the information this particular library has to offer me.
I will do anything to treat these spontaneous stirrings; all I have to do is stumble upon the right book. One book is the key to the cure. One book is the key to stopping these abnormal fantasies. One book is the key to finally silencing that voice in the back of my mind. That frighteningly familiar tone that belonged to some one I once knew, repeating over and over again, 'Claes, be a good girl'
A/n - In case it was a little too vague, the 'strange images' Claes kept talking about were supposed to be dreams. Those dreams were her memories by the way. Remember, she and her ex handler went fishing together. I tried to recreate those memories. Finally, the whole point of the fic is that she thinks there is somthing wrong with her because she does not remember these events. Also, the voice was her handler 'Raparo', he said somthing along the lines of 'be good' in the jap dub I believe. Well, I hope I wasn't to cunfuzzling! lol